Jace's Trial

by J M Wolf

  It was the only time I ever gave myself hope of having the life I’d always dreamed of, and it didn’t pay off. The man I saw myself having that life with was now dead, and I was witnessing his son barely keeping himself together. Life was a cruel mistress sometimes.

  Now here I was, standing in front of the son of the man I loved and I was about to make a decision that may or may not blow up in my face. Jace’s glistening cobalt blue eyes stared at me with mixed emotions. He looked like he didn’t get much sleep either, and I felt the guilt tightening in my heart knowing I might’ve been the cause of his insomnia. When I stepped into the shop, he looked to be at peace. His smile when socializing and assisting customers was like the first day of spring after a long winter season. Warm, fresh, new.

  “Gerard?” Jace whispered.

  I dared not move for fear that if I got too close, Jace would close himself off. I didn’t want him to feel like he needed to guard himself from me. I wanted this man to like me. I wanted him to feel comfortable around me.

  “Hey there,” I said softly.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “I came to see you. I have something I would like to ask you.”

  Jace’s eyebrows shot up to his hairlines. “What is it?”

  Before I could ask my question, a man came from the backroom and headed our way. He looked about my age and built well. He was classically handsome, and he had a smile that could lift anybody’s spirits. Judging by the t-shirt he wore under the button-up he had over it, he either worked at the shop as an employee or he was the owner.

  “Well hello there. Is there anything I can do for you?” the man asked standing next to Jace.

  “Um, no, thank you. I just came here to see Jace for a moment.”

  Jace turned to the man. “Malcolm, this is Gerard Ramhart. Gerard, this is my boss, Malcolm Hew.”

  Malcolm’s face widened in surprise, but then his charming smile returned bigger than before, and he held out a hand to me. “Oh, so you’re Gerard! It’s nice to meet you finally. I was one of Riley’s friends, and I heard a lot about you from him.”

  Now, it was my turn to be surprised. “Really?”

  “Hell yeah. Riley was all giddy about you last I saw him during his last vacation. Everyone in town knows about you, and they’re all dying to meet you.”

  So, it looked like when Desiree discovered my relationship with Riley; he took it upon himself to tell everyone else closest to him. Which meant that I would more than likely be meeting a shit ton more people who’d know more about me than I did them. I still hated that the reason I was now able to meet everyone that was close to Riley was because I was in town for a memorial, but I was starting to try to make the best of it. I was only here for two weeks, so best not to use it dwelling over something I couldn’t change.

  The sound of Jace loudly clearing his throat caused Malcolm to turn to face him, which I assumed was what Jace wanted.

  “Malcolm, could you give me a couple of minutes alone with Gerard?” Jace grumbled with a sour expression.

  Malcolm chuckled. “You sure? I was about to ask Gerard if —”

  “Yes, I’m sure!” Jace quickly cut in, and he appeared to be snarling.

  My eyes bulged at the touch of anger in Jace’s voice, but Malcolm seemed unphased as he laughed louder then escorted himself to the back giving Jace and me our privacy.

  “What’s with that guy?” I asked, still somewhat surprised by the brief anger he had when Malcolm didn’t want to leave.

  “Malcolm? Lord if I know. I just work here,” Jace said with a bit of sarcasm. Another layer of Jace I didn’t know about. “What are you doing here, Gerard?”

  Now that I thought about it, I knew my reason for showing up, but I didn’t think about how I would explain it to Jace. I couldn’t just come out and say I’m here to break you out of your silence and steer you back to the life you once had. Yeah, I’m sure that would’ve gone well.

  “Well…I-I came to see you. I mean, I suppose I could’ve waited, but…um—” I tried my best to form a coherent sentence, but my words were coming out broken and jumbled. I was drawing a blank to what I wanted to say. Hell, my brain was so vacant I’d be lucky to remember my own name at that moment of time.

  Jace didn’t seem to mind though. In fact, the young bluejay smiled at my stuttering self. He really was beautiful when he smiled, and it was a genuine one. Not the fake forceful smile he had the other day. “Gerard?” Jace pressed. “What’s going on?”

  “I wanted to ask if you would like to have dinner with me tonight so we could talk,” I quickly blurted out, and once I heard my own words my eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets.

  Jace looked to be taken aback by my question as well. “Are you asking me on a date?”

  Abort. Abort. Abort! “What? Oh God, no! No, of course not!”

  Jace didn’t look convinced. In fact, he was now standing with his arms crossed over his chest, an eyebrow arching up, and appeared to be smirking.

  Damn, he’s adorable.

  “I’m not!” I shouted in protest.

  “Yes, you are!” Malcolm called out, and Jace couldn’t hold back his laughter.

  My face reddened, but I still watched in amazement as Jace let himself laugh. When he finally stopped, he still had that glowing smile on his face. The kind that would make angels sing from the heavens. And God, did my heart relish the sight of the little spark of happiness desplayed on Bluejay.

  “Gerard, not that I’m complaining, but are you sure that’s a good idea?” Jace asked.

  A valid question. I didn’t even know where the idea to have dinner came from. Would it make me an ass to change my mind? Did I want to change my mind? Jace didn’t seem to be against the idea, and it maybe my only chance to talk to him alone.

  But a date? I hadn’t been on one in over a year, not since Riley. Was I seriously considering going out with his son now? Why had the thought not bothered me as much as it should’ve? One look at Bluejay’s soft expression and I knew I wouldn’t be able to pass up this opportunity.

  “It’s just one dinner, Bluejay. I would like the chance for us to talk and maybe get to know each other better. Please, say yes?” I pleaded.

  Jace looked like he wanted to turn me down, and my heart constricted at the thought of him saying no. I’d never been so afraid of something in my life. I was a SEAL, I’d dealt with explosives and gunfire. Every moment of my life was a battlefield where I might or might not return in one piece. I wasn’t afraid to die in battle, but this young man’s rejection scared me shitless.

  “Say yes already!” Malcolm shouted from the back again.

  Jace growled and shouted back, “Don’t you have some work to do?”

  “Yes, and so do you! Now, say yes to the hot stud and get back to work!”

  Jace let out a long, irritating sigh, then turned back to face me. After waiting for what seemed like forever, he softened his posture and looked me in the eyes. “Fine, one dinner.”

  Oh thank God. Jace said yes, he actually said yes. Good. Maybe now he and I can work on getting along with one another.

  Jace was important to Riley. Therefore Jace was important to me too.

  Instead of acting like the fool I desperately wanted to be, I grinned and nodded at him. “Great, thank you. I guess I’ll meet you back at the house then?”

  Jace’s face lit up as he nodded. “Can’t wait.”

  Not wanting to give Jace the chance to change his mind, I said my goodbyes to him and Malcolm, and headed out of the shop to my car. During the drive, I kept hearing Jace’s agreement to dinner ringing in my ear as if it was a song stuck on replay. It would’ve been my new favorite song if it was one. The dinner was hopefully my big chance to get Jace to break out of his shell and get him to open up to me more. I didn’t want to fuck it up.

  When I made it to the house, I hurriedly stepped inside and found Desiree in the living room reading a book on the couch.

  “He said yes!” I sai
d with probably too much enthusiasm in my voice, but I didn’t care.

  Desiree had to do a double take on my comment, but when it finally sank in she chuckled at my obvious excitement. “He said yes to what, exactly?”

  Oh shit, that’s right. The dinner was so random that I never talked to Desiree about it. Would she be okay with me taking out her nephew? Would she think it’s inappropriate?

  I cleared my throat and tried composing myself, so I didn’t continue sounding like a teenager who got asked out to prom. “Um, I asked Jace out to dinner tonight.”

  Desiree looked completely lost and even shook her head as if to make sure she wasn’t zoning out. “Wait, you did what?”

  “I asked Jace out to dinner.”

  “And he said yes?”

  I nodded, afraid of what she’ll say next.

  Desiree didn’t say anything. Instead she set her book on the table and stood up and made her way to me. When she was at arm’s length, she reached out grabbing both my arms. “I’m happy for you, Gerard. Hopefully, this means you and Jace will be close.”

  “I’m hoping. I want Jace and I to get along. I’ve dreamed of one-day meeting Riley’s family. Granted, I didn’t want to meet you guys this way, but it doesn’t change that I’m glad to have had the privilege to do so finally. Riley would’ve wanted Jace and me to get along, and I want Jace to feel like he can come to me for anything.”

  Desiree nodded her approval. “You’re a good guy, Gerard. My brother was lucky to have found someone like you.”

  “You’re too kind.”

  “I’m also serious. Jace will see what his father and I see in you too. I know he will.”

  “I sure hope so.”

  Desiree patted my arms then took a step back. “He will. Now go get yourself ready for your dinner. You better be a gentleman to my nephew while you guys are out, or I swear I’ll kick your ass myself.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” I said with a chuckle as I went up the steps to my bedroom to grab a change of clothes and headed for the bathroom. Once I had the water at a decent temperature, I discarded my clothes and stepped under the spray. My mind wandered to the last time Riley and I showered together, back at my house in Florida when he came to stay with me for a week. It was the best visit I'd ever gotten.

  Leaning against the cool tile walls, I closed my eyes picturing the feel of Riley’s broad masculine body as I held him from behind and took pleasure in thrusting inside his tight ass. My cock filled at the memory, but so did my eyes with unshed tears. I missed him so much. As I continued replaying that one moment the vision changed. I was no longer picturing the man I wanted to marry all those months ago. I was no longer holding the body of a Navy SEAL. The body I felt against my hands was soft and lean, and the face I pictured was…Oh, God.

  I turned off the water as I desperately tried pulling myself together. What the fuck was happening to me? Was I seriously fantasizing about Riley Garrison’s son? My full erection twitched as if to confirm the question in my mind. No, no this wasn’t right. Jace may be of legal age, but he was practically still a kid. My dead lover’s kid no less.

  Shaking the thought away, I quickly grabbed a clean towel from the cabinet above the toilet and dried myself off before wrapping it around my slender waist. I grabbed my discarded clothes off the floor and opened the bathroom door, getting ready to make it back to my room when I froze in my tracks. Jace was right on the other side the door, and his widened eyes were on me.

  Jace

  After Gerard left my work, I hurriedly went to the back room to give Malcolm an earful for being so nosey. Once I finished giving him a piece of my mind, his childish demeanor diminished as if it didn’t exist to begin with.

  “You sure about this dinner, Bluejay?” Malcolm asked softly.

  The one thing I loved about Malcolm was that despite him being a royal pain in my ass on a daily basis, he was also protective and caring when he needed to be.

  Malcolm could’ve easily been a second father to me, just as Patricia could’ve been a second mother. The two of them were my substitute parents for all intents and purposes. They each had a hand in raising me, babysitting me when Dad and Desiree were at work or out. They both had sons around my age, and even though they’re my best friends, they were more like my brothers.

  I still talked to Adam, but Malcolm lost his son Damian when he was eighteen, and ran away from home after an argument they had. Nobody’d heard from Damian since, and Malcolm was an empty shell for a long time. Malcolm slowly began to find a sense of normalcy after Damian’s disappearance, but I knew it was still in the back of his mind. There was a slim possibility that Damian was alive somewhere, we just didn’t know where.

  With a shrug I said, “I guess.”

  Malcolm tilted his head skeptically. “Are you sure? I mean, he was your father’s partner after all? You don’t think it’s weird to go out to dinner with him?”

  Yes, I did think it was weird, and wrong, and I didn’t want to get my hopes up for something more. But my heart, the part of me that screamed the loudest about my crush on Gerard, didn’t care whether or not I should’ve accepted it. It wanted me to go, and I agreed with it.

  “It is weird, but I still want to go. And if you’re so concerned about me, why did you push me to say yes?”

  “I am worried, but I could tell Gerard’s not the type of guy to take advantage of you, and he seemed genuine about getting to know you. Right now, nobody around here can begin to understand the feelings you have about losing your dad better than he can. Desiree was the closest since you guys are family, but you and your dad had an unbreakable bond that shattered you the day he passed away.”

  “Malcolm I keep telling you guys I’m—”

  “You’re fine. Yeah, yeah, we’ve heard it all before,” Malcolm cut in with a raised hand. “But you’re not fine and we all know it.”

  Jesus was I that transparent? Yes the loss of my dad hurt a lot, but there’s nothing I could do about it. It’s not like I could run away the way I did with my problems with Brett. I had no safe haven to run to from this. It was best to just accept the inevitable.

  “You guys worry too much. I told you in fine,” I said reassuringly, trying to give him my best smile.

  Malcolm wanted to argue, I knew he did.

  We’ve had this tit for tat all the time and it got him nowhere. There was no way in Hell I would relent. Even if I wanted to give in and pour my heart and soul out, I couldn’t. I’d tried my hardest to let the tears I knew were itching to be released come out, but they were still contained, like a restless animal trapped in a cage begging to be released into the wild. If I ever did fall apart, I wanted to do it alone. I couldn’t bear to see the people I loved watch me have my meltdown. I wanted to be alone when it finally happened. Alone, where I belonged.

  Knowing there was no point in trying to push me, he just simply ruffled my hair and gave me a sorrowful smile. “Just be careful, Bluejay.”

  Once I assured Malcolm that I’d be okay, Malcolm gave me the okay to leave early. Before I clocked out, I made sure all the shelves were stocked and all the bikes were lined up. I called out my goodbye to Malcolm before I walked out of the shop and made my way to my truck. Once I was on the road, my phone started ringing. My heart started hammering because the first thing that came to mind was that it was Brett trying to reach me. I shook off the ridiculous assumption. I hadn’t spoken to Brett in almost two years, and even if he did try contacting me, he had no power over me while I was here in my hometown.

  Once I stopped in front of a red light I pulled out my phone and felt the wave of relief wash over me. It wasn’t Brett. It was Adam calling me from New York.

  I’d missed Adam ever since I came home. Once I left, Adam instantly took over as the star of Juilliard. Once I left Juilliard, Adam’s talents became more recognized. We’d always had this notion to try to outshine the other ever since we were little. While I may have inspired Adam to take a musical journey alongside me, it was h
e who continued pushing me to surpass my expectations. We’d both expanded our knowledge and talents and were well recognized by some big name producers and talent scouts.

  Since I was no longer in the picture, it was easier for scouts to notice him. Eventually a big name record label discovered him and offered him a contract. After that, Adam Love, which was his stage name, became dominate in the music scene all across the US. I wasn’t going to lie, when he was first picked up by his record label I was a little pissed. Okay, I was a lot pissed and I hadn’t spoken to him for weeks. I mean, come on. He was getting to live the dream I’d wanted since I was three-years-old. Yes, I was proud of him because he had worked as hard as I did to get to where he was, but it still felt like a slap to my face.

  Eventually I got over my petty jealousy and congratulated him on his success and wished him the best. He’d asked me if I would write his songs for his album, but I had to remind him that his record label more than likely had their own lyricist to help him with his song choices. He said he still wanted to represent my music in some way, so he asked for at least one song. So I gave him one.

  The song I wrote for him was called Renegade, and he chose that as his debut single. It instantly went number one on the top one-hundred charts and I was beaming with pride knowing I wrote a number one song. Renegade was something I came up with stating that people could label you and try to change you, but your life is your own and you should live it how you want to. To rebel against those who tried boxing you in, like a renegade.

  Of course, Adam asked for more songs once Renegade became popular, but I had to put my foot down. I didn’t work for his label after all. The songs that were on his first album weren’t half bad, but even his fans felt they couldn’t compare to Renegade. Still he released two other singles that went number one, so he was doing well.

  I answered his call, “Hey, Popstar.”

  “Hey, baby blue!” Adam shrieked. “Where have you been? I haven’t heard from you in like forever and I was totally going to file a missing person’s report.”