Orgasms for Two

by Betty Dodson

  LEG UP SIDE POSITION. The woman is lying on her side with her top leg pulled up toward her chest and resting on two or more pillows. Her bottom leg is stretched out straight between her partner’s legs. He kneels on the bed and moves in close up against the pillows. The Magic Wand is placed between the pillows while she holds on to the handle with one hand. The pillows are arranged for comfort.

  This position recently entered my partner sex repertoire with Eric. For both of us, penetration in the side position is exquisite and very intense. We talked it over, and he believes it’s because laying on my side changes the contact between his penis and my vagina. When I’m on my back, the curve of his penis matches the curve of my vagina. On my side, the curves are in opposition, which creates a completely different sensation, making our genital connection feel even more intensely sensuous.

  Like most men, Eric is a visual creature, and he sometimes has to close his eyes to keep from coming because the side position looks so hot. Instead of turning my head to see him, I keep my eyes closed and stay focused on what I’m feeling, fantasizing, or both. Sometimes he carefully separates my ass cheeks or gently adds support to my top thigh with one hand. Both are very erotic sensations. Along with his graceful fucking motion, he can simultaneously rub my ass using circular movements with an oiled hand.

  As I lift my pelvis slightly to meet each of his deep, unhurried thrusts I can also control the vibrator pressure on my clitoris. Further along into fucking, when I’m fully aroused, the spongy head of his cock gently pressing against my uterus produces extraordinary sensations. Sometimes I squeeze and release my PC muscles, and other times I focus on keeping the pelvic floor muscles totally relaxed. It’s a real challenge not to tighten the muscles when it feels so good, but if I stay relaxed, I often feel more exquisite erotic sensations. However, as I head toward climax, the muscles tighten uncontrollably.

  There are times when he’s close to coming and, instead of pulling out, he pushes all the way inside my vagina and holds still. This avoids any further friction on the sensitive rim of his glans while allowing me to continue vibrating my clitoris and getting a cunt charge as we stay connected. At that point, I can squirm down on his hard on while adding pressure with my vibrator to sustain my arousal. I have actually been able to come like this. When his approaching orgasmic feelings subside and he starts pumping again, I can either start climbing toward more sexual delights and come again or ride the waves of pleasure from my first orgasm while he goes for his climax. The Horizontal Flamingo remains at the top of our list of favorites for fancy fucking with a Magic Wand.

  VAGINAL REAR ENTRY POSITION

  A lot of women have a problem with vaginal rear entry because they feel it’s too “animalistic,” but that’s exactly why I like it. After all, we are human animals. When a woman is on all fours it’s often called doggie style. This allows the deepest penetration, so a man must be gentle and careful not to shove his cock in up to the hilt immediately, especially if he’s built large. The biggest problem is when a woman is kneeling on all fours, adding any kind of clitoral contact means she’ll have to hold herself up with one arm. This can quickly become tiresome.

  One version of doggie that I dislike is a man bending over a woman’s back trying to reach around and make clitoral contact or penetrating more deeply. Not only does she have to support his weight, but it also limits their range of motion. When his body is slammed up against hers it restricts their pelvic movements. Doggie is much nicer when there is a little space between bodies so they both have room to move. When I’m behind my partner doing the penetrating, sometimes I hold the dildo still and encourage him or her to do the moving, so they can get the depth and the rhythm they want. The same is true when a man holds still and lets the woman move back and forth on his penis instead of always doing the thrusting.

  THE KNEE-CHEST POSITION

  This position, with vaginal rear entry, allows a woman to rest her upper body on the bed. With her head turned to one side, she can use a pillow for support. This leaves both hands free and makes it much easier for her to reach down between her legs with one hand to add manual or battery vibrator stimulation. However, with a Wand vibrator, it’s a bit difficult to manage the longer handle when the woman is on a bed or the floor. Once we solved the problem of how to deal with the longer handle on the Wand vibrator, the following position has become another one of our favorites. Still, this one depends on individual bed heights as well as the length of each man’s legs.

  KNEE-CHEST POSITION ON THE EDGE OF THE BED

  The man stands behind the woman while she kneels on the edge of the bed with her lower legs hanging off from about mid-calf down. The handle of the Wand is held on the outside of the bed pointing down toward the floor. This way she can hold the vibrator with one or two hands while getting just the right kind of movement for clitoral stimulation. There is a certain amount of endurance required of the woman in order to hold this position for a long period of time, however whenever her legs get tired, they can change positions. She can adjust the height of her vagina by spreading her legs apart or bringing them closer together. He can facilitate penetration by adjusting his height, narrowing or widening his stance, and bending his knees.

  The knee-chest position still gives some freedom of pelvic movement, but I usually focus more on using my pelvic floor muscle as his penis slowly glides in and out of my vagina. Eric sways gently forward and back, keeping his hips under him at all times. He is not swinging his spine back and forth to create the traditional thrust. Instead, his entire body is in motion, utilizing the least amount of effort and maintaining a higher degree of control. As always, his oiled hands are massaging my behind. Once again, it’s easy for him to spread my ass cheeks in this position, making me feel delightfully vulnerable. The combination of these sweet sensations turns me into a little sex pig that can’t get enough.

  During our warm-up, I want vaginal rear entry to start with shallow penetration gradually going deeper. Even though we’ve discussed this, sometimes he inadvertently presses his cockhead against my uterus too soon and it doesn’t feel good. Whenever this happens before I’m ready, I simply lean forward and pull away from him. But once sexual arousal pumps blood into the lining of my uterus, it lifts up, which creates more space. That’s when I want all of him I can get. At that point, I can meet his thrusts by backing up onto to his erect cock. He always maintains a measured rhythm.

  EDGE OF THE BED. Depending on the height of the bed, a woman kneeling on the edge makes vaginal or anal penetration very easy and sensual. A pillow can support her head and neck if desired. A towel helps to protect bedspreads and sheets. The insert shows the vibrator handle being held on the outside of the bed.

  Traditionally, men have a tendency to speed up dramatically, overly excited when they think a woman is about to come. This behavior will disrupt her climb to orgasm. What was working before has changed and she now feels pressured to come. Being a steady drummer allows her to speed up just a little bit in front of her orgasm. In sex, changes made gradually usually work better than sudden shifts.

  After I’m fully satisfied, I’ll tell him to go ahead and have his orgasm when he’s ready. At that point he stops all forms of control and goes for what he wants. As he approaches his orgasm, and just before he ejaculates, I can feel his penis swell. With a good hard come he howls like an unholy beast as his orgasm explodes inside me. His youthful energy is exciting and very intense. On a few occasions, one of his dramatic orgasms has turned me on so much that I press the vibrator into my clit and squeeze out several more thrills and chills because I’m already primed for pleasure.

  SPOONS

  My girlfriend came up with an alternate name for “spoons” because it’s one of her favorites. She calls it “Tired Doggie.” Although this position hasn’t been in my repertoire for quite awhile, a lot of couples sleep together front to back. We call it spoons after how we stack our silverware in the drawer.

  Many a woman has been awakened w
ith a firm erection poking her in the back. She will either pull away in disgust, or push back into him, signaling her interest. If he’s got a fairly large cock, vaginal penetration can be achieved quite easily in this position. Otherwise she will have to double over to make her genitals more accessible to him. Her hand can be pressed against her clitoris in between her legs or she can raise one leg to use a battery-operated vibrator. Some women use this position as a warm-up before switching to one that provides the kind of clitoral stimulation they prefer.

  There are an infinite number of variations on all of these positions, as well as many others, like standing up or sitting in a chair or a woman on top facing away from her partner. All of these can include using a battery-operated or electric vibrator. There are also different types of sex swings that are great, especially for pregnant women or older people with painful hip joints or bad backs. Most important is to experiment by moving around until both of you find the most comfortable position for your bodies. There is no special magic in any one position, and most couples find several that work and then rotate them. If a couple is completely happy with one position and it always produces mutual orgasms, there’s nothing wrong with staying true to old faithful. Occasionally changing to something new spices up partner sex, but not always.

  Most couples have a timing problem. Women invariably take much longer than men to warm up and have an orgasm. Sometimes I spend fifteen minutes or so vibrating before Eric and I have partner sex. That way I get to have more quality time fucking with him when I’m in a higher state of arousal. Otherwise, we can be fucking for an hour or more and just when he’s close to ejaculating, I’m beginning my climb toward ecstasy. That little headstart makes the time we fuck together much hotter. There have been hundreds of times I’ve heard women say, “Just as it’s feeling good, he comes.” I suggest women get themselves turned on before they start fucking.

  A few couples have learned to have consistent simultaneous orgasms. However, if they expect this to happen every time, it can put a lot of pressure on the woman. We already know that for the most part men are more or less assured of coming during intercourse, while it’s much more difficult for women to climax. If their timing isn’t perfect, she will be the one who doesn’t get to have an orgasm.

  TWO WOMEN

  There are a variety of ways women can share orgasms for two. In the seventies we were doing a lot of oral sex, but once dental dams or some kind of barrier like Saran Wrap was needed, I much preferred doing manual and vibrator sex. Still, many of my lesbian friends who are committed couples and don’t have to worry about health issues say oral sex is their favorite. This is also true for many straight and bisexual women. Oral sex done well provides an ideal form of direct clitoral stimulation that’s soft and wet. It also allows a woman to focus entirely on what she’s feeling without having to reciprocate simultaneously by doing something in return for her partner.

  SIXTY-NINE

  In this position both partners are doing oral sex to the other at the same time. This was always more successful for me with women than with men. While sixty-nine can be fun occasionally, I would often lose track of my own arousal and began to focus on my partner. Or if I got caught up in getting close to coming, I would forget to keep doing my partner. The couple of times it worked when both of us were completely in sync all the way to simultaneous orgasms were spectacular. For the most part, however, sixty-nine is confusing, with too much going on all at the same time.

  My favorite way to share orgasms with a woman is masturbating with a vibrator while we take turns heightening each other’s orgasm with massage and vaginal or anal penetration. When we want to use the same vibrator, we decide who will take control first. The one on the bottom leads by putting the vibrator where it feels best for her and goes for what she wants. The woman on top has to follow the vibrator and position her clitoris to get what she wants. Then we take turns. Women have been so heavily conditioned to sacrifice pleasure to please their partners and “avoid being selfish” that sharing the same vibrator is a great way to practice being self-full.

  The concept of taking turns is sexually healing for women. One of the most important principles of orgasms for two is the ability to totally focus on what I’m feeling in my body without any concern for my partner when I’m on the edge of coming. If it’s my turn, I have to be able to seize the moment without any reservations. Before I can do this I must trust that my partner will do the same when it’s his or her turn to have an orgasm.

  TWO MEN

  For the most part, gay men are the most sexually sophisticated group when it comes to getting what they want and need in partner sex. Throughout America’s sexual revolution, gay men friends were often my inspiration for enjoying advanced forms of sexual expression. In saying that, I don’t mean all gay men are sexually uninhibited. Some have many of the same problems that we all struggle with—from self-esteem issues to illusions about romantic love and looking for Mr. Right. Providing they are comfortable with their own sexuality, most gay men are interested in having multiple partners. However, there are couples that choose to be monogamous, especially since the onset of AIDS. In the seventies, during the heyday of sex parties, watching two uninhibited gay men fucking was captivating. I, too, wanted partner sex to be an exchange between two sexually motivated equals moving their bodies like professional dancers toward orgasm.

  Looking back over my history of combining clitoral stimulation with intercourse, there were very few men like Grant who encouraged me to do myself. I’m aware of how difficult it is for a woman to make the breakthrough of using her fingers without her partner’s initial support. In the seventies, when I was having casual sex with men at sex parties, some guys would push my hand away. I’d just get up off their dicks and move along. Yet even when I was dating a man who embraced manual clit stimulation, it still remained a challenge to introduce an electric vibrator. Maybe it was because a machine seemed more threatening than fingers. It was easier to see fucking as foreplay, and to use my vibrator after we had intercourse and he was long gone. When I had my first affair with a woman, vibrators were a given and we totally embraced them as part of our sexual sharing.

  By the time Eric showed up, I had no qualms about including an electric vibrator the first time we had partner sex. He also came to me pro-vibrator. The fact that he is my apprentice gives me far more sexual power than most women have in their relationships and marriages. His focused drive to develop and perfect different forms for creating pleasure combined with my sexual experience and years of teaching sexual pleasure has created an extraordinary opportunity. We have been able to explore heterosexuality combining the use of an electric vibrator with complete freedom—viewing it as desirable and natural. I know there are thousands of women who hesitate to incorporate their electric vibrators into partner sex. Try it. You’ll love it. So will he. Then drop me a note with all the details of your newly found pleasures.

  When sexuality is no longer kept separate from other aspects of society, the free flow of sex information will gradually establish orgasms for two in pairbonds of all sexual persuasions. Contrary to what the song says, “A good man nowadays is hard to find,” it’s up to each woman to know what she likes and how she likes it. Once we are able to state our sexual desires—first to our partner, then to our friends, and finally to anyone who’s interested—we’ll discover that “A good man nowadays is created.”

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  ESPECIALLY FOR MEN

  World-Class Lovers

  To every smart man who has ever asked “What do women want?” I can only answer that sexual desires will differ from woman to woman and depend upon her age. When I was a romance junkie in my early twenties, I went along with whatever kind of sex each boyfriend did as long as he was cute and said he loved me. When I got married I was more concerned with financial security and a loving relationship than sex. After I got divorced and began logging in a little sexual experience with different men, I was able to name several things I enjoyed a
bout sex. By the time I reached forty I was a sexually sophisticated woman who looked for specific qualities to indicate whether a person would be a good lover.

  Although society doesn’t reward sexually experienced women, I get a lot of personal satisfaction in knowing what I want when it comes to sex. It’s a pleasure to be with a man who is self-assured, confident in his ability to get erect and maintain his erection long enough to enjoy the dance of erotic love. If he’s not a cocksman, he has mastered oral and manual skills. He has a sensitive touch and never hesitates to ask how I like my clitoris touched. He is never in a hurry. Before touching my clitoris, he always applies some kind of lubrication. When entering my vagina, he savors slow penetration. He supports my orgasm without claiming it as his own creation and totally approves when I take control of my clitoral stimulation. When I want to use a vibrator, he doesn’t feel threatened. When I desire penetration while I’m vibrating, he is happy to oblige by using his penis, a finger, or a dildo. After we have shared orgasms, he enjoys spending some quality time snuggling. He likes to talk about sex and explore ways to make it better, and is willing to share some of his fantasies.

  Of course I could go on and on for pages covering a multitude of nonsexual qualities that are worth their weight in gold—like intelligence, thoughtfulness, a sense of humor, being affectionate, and the ability to share aspects of his inner life. As for appearance, the most handsome man can turn ugly quickly because of his selfish ways and a homely man can become beautiful because of his generous spirit. With a little maturity, I was far less dedicated to muscular pecs and ass than I had been in my youth.