Alayziah II: When Loving Him is Complicated

by B. Love

  I didn’t respond. I couldn’t respond. I was tired of having this conversation with her and with myself. Alex was mine. He was supposed to be my forever. Alayziah ruined that. She had to pay.

  Alayziah

  I was scared as hell when I made it back to Rell’s place. I didn’t know what he was going to do to my ass when I got there. He was pissed and he had every right to be. I know I probably had him worried sick, but I just needed some space. I needed to talk to someone that understood what was going on. I didn’t even want Rell to know about that part of my life because I was ashamed, but when I saw her, something inside of me flipped. I called Kai to see how much trouble I was in and she laughed as I cut my car off.

  “Well, Al… I will say this… our men are crazy, so just… don’t do anything to fuel his anger. Just, listen and keep the peace. What would possess you to ditch him, though, crazy?”

  I chuckled lightly and shook my head. “Girl, I don’t know. I just… I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking straight. I was caught up in my feelings and I started thinking about Alex. She just irks me to my soul, Kailani. Every time I see her I think about Alex… how much I loved him, wanted him, adored him… and she fucked that up. She should have just let him go.”

  “Al…”

  “I know, I know, if he wanted to leave he would have. I guess I just hate that she had him for as long as she did and I couldn’t. That eats at me, Kai. And every time I see her, it pisses me off.”

  “Let me ask you this, is your hatred of her, and love for Alex, greater than what you feel for Rell? Because you’re going to lose him if you don’t get a grip.”

  I exhaled deeply. “You’re right. I’m going to go in and see how much trouble I’m in.”

  “Alright, boo. Call me if you need me to talk some sense into him.”

  “Thanks.”

  “No, Bishop. Stop instigating.” Kailani said as she disconnected the call. I chuckled as I unbuckled my seatbelt.

  When I made my way to Rell’s front door, I knocked and took a step back. He opened the door slightly and stared at me.

  “Thought I told you to be here before I got here.”

  “I’m sorry,” he stalked my body with his eyes in silence. “You not gone let me in?” I asked. Stepping off to the side, Rell allowed me entrance. When I made it inside, he closed the door behind us. “You mad at me?” I asked walking into his living room. He didn’t say anything, and that was unlike him. He always had some smooth or smart shit to say. I turned around to face him and he just… looked at me. “Rell…” his hand wrapped around my throat and he pulled me into him.

  “You don’t respect me,” he said finally.

  My eyes watered. I’d never wanted him to be hurt, angry with me, or disappointed, but shit, I couldn’t help it. “I do respect you, baby.”

  “No, you don’t, Alayziah. You don’t take me or what we have seriously.”

  “Yes, I do, Terrell. I promise I do.”

  “Then, why don’t you fucking listen to me? Do you know how scared I was? All fucking day I’ve been calling you and texting you and you didn’t respond. I didn’t know what the fuck happened to your ass. Did you not take into consideration that you’d just gotten into a fight with a crazy ass bitch that I don’t know anything about? I didn’t know where she went or how she got there. Anything could have fucking happened to you and I wouldn’t have been able to do anything to protect you. Do you know how helpless that made me feel? How bad that shit hurt, Alayziah?”

  I blinked my eyes a couple of times fighting back my tears as his grip around my neck tightened. “Do you?”

  “I’m sorry…” was all I could think of to say. I didn’t think he cared this much or that it would bother him this much.

  “You sorry?” he asked shaking me a little bit. I nodded my head and closed my eyes.

  “Rell, I’m sorry.”

  “Alayziah, I can’t function like this. I’m not tryna be with your sister all over again. If you can’t handle your emotions and let that shit with that nigga go, tell me. We can be done tonight.”

  “But I don’t want you to be done with me, Terrell.”

  “Then, fucking act like it woman.”

  “I will, baby. I’m sorry.”

  His grip around my neck loosened. “You ain’t getting off that easy. I’m about to punish that pussy. Fuck that nigga outta your system. Go into our bedroom and strip. Take a shower. Get on the bed on all fours. I’ve been waiting to get you on your knees.”

  Rell

  As I waited for Alayziah to get out of the shower, I went through her cell phone. I had to get this shit with Carmen taken care of ASAP. I went through her recent calls and found the Terrance niggas number. I stepped into my home studio and called him.

  “You good, Al?” he asked.

  “This ain’t Al. This her nigga.”

  “Rell?”

  I smiled. She’d told him about me. “Yeah.”

  “What’s up nigga? She was telling me about you earlier.”

  “That’s what’s up. What’s this shit going on with her and this Carmen chick? I need some insight.”

  “Man… my brother Alex met Carmen a while ago. They started off as friends and shit. My brother, the nigga craved love and a family. Carmen had three children and my brother instantly stepped up and played the daddy role. So, they started kicking it tough and eventually he proposed, but her daddy didn’t like my brother once he found out who my brother used to be in the streets. So, he tried to get Carmen to leave him. They started beefing tough. Then, he met Al. Nigga instantly changed. She was there for that nigga. He fell for her on sight. She was good to and for him, but he just couldn’t let Carmen’s ass go. He broke up with her and tried to see what was up with Al, but he was still messing off with Carmen.

  She ended up getting pregnant and he thought the baby was his so they got married. He tried to cut Al off, but he ran into her and started talking to her again. Then, Al went to a church service he and Carmen were at. Carmen confronted Al. Al snapped on her pregnant ass, punched her and everything. She found out that they were married and she tried to cut him off, but he wouldn’t let her go. He chased her for months. He ended up divorcing Carmen and he found out the baby wasn’t his so he planned on making it up to Al but… my bro ain’t have the chance to make it right with her. He uh… he was in a horrible car accident and… the whole time that nigga was in the hospital Al was there, right by his side. Nigga wanted nobody but her, and she was there, but he ain’t make it. So, Carmen’s mad at Al because she felt like Al took Alex from her, and Al mad at Carmen because she feels like Carmen stood in the way of her being with my brother.”

  “Damn.”

  “Al is a good girl, man. She’s like my brother. They crave love. They desperate for the shit, and anybody that gives them an ounce of it – they cling to. Whether they good for them or not. That’s why my brother couldn’t let Carmen go, and that’s why Al couldn’t let Alex go. His ass didn’t deserve her, but they loved each other in a twisted kind of way that only they understood. Shit was so unhealthy. I honestly believe that’s why my brother was taken. Ain’t no way in the world he was gone let her go. Ain’t no way in the world Carmen was gone let him go.”

  “I appreciate you telling me all this. That shit makes sense now.”

  “No problem. I’d do anything for Al for how she was there for my brother. I’m working on finding Carmen now. I’m handling her ass when I find her. I never did like her ass.”

  “I’m about to call you from my line. Lock my number in and let me know when you find her.”

  “Bet.”

  After I disconnected the call and stepped out of the studio, I heard the water in the bathroom cut off. I called Terrance’s number from my phone and let it ring enough times for it to show up before I hung up. He sent me a text saying he got it so I put my phone in my pocket and made my way to my woman.

  Alayziah

  After my shower, I did as I was told and crawled into b
ed. I was using some of his cocoa butter lotion until he made his way upstairs. When he did, I put the lotion on the floor and got on all fours. I watched him slowly walk over to me as he rubbed his hands together.

  “Don’t look at me, I’m still mad at you,” he commanded lightly.

  “Relll…” I whined, lifting myself up. “I apologized!”

  “Shut that shit up.”

  Biting my lip, I fought the urge to moan. Damn, this nigga was turning me on heavy. I got back in position and rested my forearms and forehead on the bed; my hair fell off my shoulders onto the bed. After undressing, he crawled behind me and gripped my waist with one hand as he pulled my hair and lifted my head off the bed with the other. This time, I couldn’t hold my moan in as he bit my neck. “Shit Rell,” I whispered as he slapped my ass.

  “You like that?” he asked slapping my ass again.

  “Yes, baby. I love the way you handle me.”

  “Yeah?” he started licking down my spine and placing light bites all over my ass.

  “Mmmmm yes, Rell. Yesss…”

  After pushing me further into the bed, he spread my ass cheeks and ran his pointing finger from my clit to my asshole. I jumped involuntarily and tried to scoot up in the bed, but he gripped my waist.

  “Where you think you going?” he asked spreading my legs wider. He slid under me, positioning his face between my thighs.

  His tongue found its way to my clit. His pointing finger inside my pussy. He alternated between licking and sucking my clit. Biting and blowing. Pushing his finger in and out. Fast and slow. Then, he began to make the come here motion with his finger inside of me. Sending me into my first orgasm of the night – but this was no ordinary orgasm. I felt my entire body heat up, and I had the strongest desire to pee. I quickly jumped off his face, but when I did, clear liquid squirted out of me as I moaned out in pleasure.

  “What the fuck was that?” I asked breathlessly falling into the bed.

  He smiled as he grabbed my ankle and pulled me back to him.

  “You squirted,” he said, laying me flat on my back.

  After he wrapped my legs around his waist, he put the tip of his dick at my opening, grabbed two handfuls of my hair, and entered me slow and deep. So deep, I couldn’t speak, but he talked to me.

  “Look at me baby,” he whispered.

  I opened my eyes slowly and saw love and care inside of his. The passion. The hurt. The yearning. I cupped his face and kissed him deeply. His tongue was so deep in my mouth I thought we’d choke each other. I’d never been kissed so passionately before. Slowly, he pulled himself out of me. Left the tip in as he kissed me. Plunged deep inside of me. I threw my head back in delight.

  “Ohhhhh my uh…”

  My legs began to shake. He slapped my breasts lightly before sucking them and sending me into my second orgasm.

  “Mmmm, Rell!” I screamed out as he continued to punish my pussy with his long and deep strokes. “Fuck, Rell… stoppp…” I pleaded.

  I couldn’t take it. It was feeling too good. Too good, too slow, too deep, like he was digging up any memories of any man that had been in me, completely erasing them and claiming me. He moaned sweetly into my ear and breathed deeply and I swear I’ve never heard anything sound so good in my life.

  “Alayziah…” he moaned in my ear. “Alayziah…” he moaned as I grabbed his dreads and pulled his head back. “Shit, don’t do that,” he said pushing my legs back until my feet were touching my ears.

  “Aaaahhhh…” I moaned as he entered me deeply. “God I love you,” I said as he sucked on my neck.

  “You love me or you love the dick?” he asked as I stroked his chest up and down.

  “Both, but I was talking about you, Terrell. I love you,”

  Looking into my eyes, he smiled. “I love you too, Alayziah. Swear I do.”

  Massaging my clit with one hand, he played with my nipples with the other.

  “Shit King,” I moaned as my legs began to shake. “You feel so good inside of me.”

  “I feel good inside my pussy?” he asked making me cum yet again.

  “Yes, baby. You feel soo good. You the King of this pussy, baby. Fuck.”

  “Watch your mouth, girl,” he said, pulling out of me and putting me back on my knees. Entering me deeply, he said, “Fuck me back, Ziah. Show me you the Queen of this dick.”

  He started slow and deep. Then, he sped up his movements. I matched his strokes until I could no longer moan and he couldn’t stop moaning. Just the sound of him expressing his pleasure, a pleasure that I was giving him… was making me weak – literally. I came and was about to slow down and tap out until he said, “Don’t you stop. I’m coming.”

  After his first nut, I pushed him out of me and laid him on the bed. Slowly, I slid down on him and smiled as he bit his lip and gripped my hips. I positioned myself at the top of his dick and grinded my pussy against him, squeezing just the head of his dick before sliding down his shaft slowly – making my walls throb against him with every inch I covered.

  “God that feels so good, Ziah. Swear it feels like your pussy got a fucking heartbeat,” he said softly as I wrapped my hands around his neck and squeezed lightly. “You so nasty. Choke my ass. Show me you can handle this dick.”

  “Shut up before you make me cum again,” I pleaded, speeding up my movements.

  “Slow down, Alayziah. I’m not ready to cum.”

  His knees went up to my back and he tried to control my movements, but I wouldn’t let him, I couldn’t let him. My orgasm was building and I couldn’t stop it. I moaned, he moaned, we came – together. I fell on top of his body and tried to catch my breath. We laid there in silence until out heartbeats synced.

  “You tryna make sure a nigga never let you go, huh?” he asked, wrapping his arms around me. I nodded yes, as I stroked his chest. “You staying tonight?” He ran his fingers through my hair.

  “Yes, baby. I’m moving in. If you still want me to.”

  He flipped me over and slid inside of me again. “There is nothing that I want more.”

  Rell

  I’ll admit, Kai was my dream girl, but sometimes a dream don’t have shit on your reality, and this morning, I woke up to my reality. Alayziah. Having her in my arms was better than any dream I’d ever had. She was laying slightly on my chest. Her hair was all over her head and my neck and her hand was holding a handful of my dreads. I don’t know how her ass managed to hold them in her sleep but somehow she did. I caressed her back lightly after I pulled her on top of me completely.

  “Good morning,” she mumbled letting my hair go and running her hand down my face and my chest, stopping at my dick.

  “Good morning, baby. Sorry to wake you. I just wanted you closer.”

  “It’s cool. You hungry?”

  “I could eat.”

  “You got something for me to cook?”

  “Yeah, breakfast is the only time of the day I eat here.”

  She pulled the top part of her body off me and sat on my lap. For a moment, we just stared into each other’s eyes, smiling. A nigga could definitely get used to this. I ran my hands up her thighs before cupping her ass and grinding her pussy against me slightly.

  “Stop, Bae, or I’m not gone be able to fix breakfast.”

  “Ion care. I’ma still eat,” I replied flipping her over and crawling between her legs. She smiled and grabbed my hair as I spread her legs.

  “You be the 6. I’ll be the 9,” she said closing her legs. Her ass ain’t have to tell me twice. I laid on the bed and held my hands out for her, but she stopped when my doorbell rang.

  “Who the fuck is that?” I asked in frustration.

  “Ion know. This your house.”

  “Our house. Don’t get amnesia now since the dick done wore off.”

  Smiling she rolled out of my bed. “I haven’t changed my mind, Terrell. I’m here and I’m yours. I’ll start breakfast when I’m done in the bathroom.”

  I nodded as I watched her nake
d ass walk into my bathroom. Once she closed the door, I got up, put on my boxers, and grabbed the bottle of water that was sitting on my dresser before heading for the door. It was one thing for my girl to smell my morning breath. I didn't want anybody else to have to. Even though it would have been their fault for popping up at a nigga, house this early in the morning anyway. When I opened the door and saw Layyah standing on the other side I took a step back.

  “Damn, nigga. The hell happened to your face?” she asked making her way inside without waiting for my invitation.

  “Yo sister is what happened to my face.”

  “What you do to her?” she asked turning to face me.

  “I ain’t do shit to her,” I smiled at the thought of what happened last night. She rolled her eyes and walked down my hallway.

  “Where she at? I need to talk to her.”

  “How you know she was here?”

  “I didn’t. I don’t know where she stays so I was just gone make you take her to me.”

  “She stays with me. What are you doing here anyway?”

  “What? I was with you for a year and you hardly let me spend more than two nights here in a row. I’m here for Kai and BJ. You know she’s due to have him any day now.”

  “Yeah. Well. I’ll get her for you,” I turned to walk away but her calling my name stopped me. “Yeah?” I said, turning back around to face her.

  Avoiding my eyes, she asked, “You love her yet?”

  “I do. You know it don’t take me long to decide whether to give a woman my love or not.”

  “So, I really have no chance now huh?”

  I looked at her ass like she was crazy.

  “Layyah, get fucked up if you want to. Don’t come for my man,” Alayziah said calmly. I didn’t even hear her walk up. I guess she wanted to see where our conversation was going to go.