Alayziah II: When Loving Him is Complicated

by B. Love

  “I was just asking because I need closure, Al.”

  “Aight,” Alayziah walked in between the two of us and looked at me. “Terrell, do you want to be with my sister?”

  “Fuck I need with her or anybody else when I got you?”

  Shrugging she turned to face Layyah.

  “There’s your closure. Stay in your lane, Lay. I’m about to cook breakfast. You want some?”

  Alayziah

  I decided to go to my apartment and take out all of the trash and start cleaning up. Yes, I agreed to move in with Rell, but that was temporary. I wasn’t moving in with him until we were married. I’d already had sex with the nigga. If I moved in with him, there was no telling when he would propose and make us official. Since Rell had a few clients to record before he could get to me, I decided to call Marcel so he could help me out. Between his new relationship and my new relationship our friendship had definitely been slacking. So much so that when we were together, it was kind of awkward and I needed to figure out why.

  We were sitting across from each other at my kitchen table drinking bottles of water on our phones and looking everywhere but at each other. When I finally couldn’t take it anymore, I asked him, “Suga, what’s up with us?”

  He sighed heavily as he sat his phone down. “What you mean, Love?”

  “Marcel, you know what I mean. This… is weird. We’re never weird. What’s up?”

  “You want the truth?”

  “Always.”

  “Alayziah, you know you my baby and I want to always see you happy, but… I’m worried about you. I just can’t sit around and watch you live the way you are, seeing the damage it’s doing to you… it’s bothering me.”

  My face scrunched up as I pushed my seat away from the table. “The hell you mean the way I’m living?”

  “See, this is why I didn’t want to talk to you about this. I knew you were going to be overly dramatic.”

  “I’m not being overly dramatic. I just don’t understand why you would even say that. Help me to understand.”

  “Okay. First, it was the nigga that you dated before my cousin. The nigga you were pregnant by. Then, it was my cousin. He’s still a no good ass lying and cheating nigga. Then, it was Andrew, the gay nigga. Then, it was Alex, the married nigga. Now, it’s Terrell, your sister’s ex.”

  “Hold up right there. I didn’t even know I had a sister before I met Terrell, and what we had was already building before I met her. Don’t even include him in the number, but what does that have to do with the way I’m living? Marcel, I’m living and loving. That’s what we’re supposed to do, right? I can’t help it that the niggas I chose to date weren’t any good.”

  “That’s just it, Love. You can choose. You just be choosing recklessly. Take Alex. You knew he was engaged when you entertained him. Even if he might have lied in the beginning, when you found out that he was still messing with the bitch you should have let him go then, but you stayed – and the nigga ended up playing your ass. Same thing with Drew. You thought he was gay because you brought it up to me, but you stayed with him too, and Jabari… I don’t know what the hell that was. Now, with this new nigga, you haven’t even been knowing him for two months and you already staying with the nigga and having sex with him. You fall in love so fast, Love. I just don’t want to see you get hurt anymore. You need to slow down. Be single for a while. Or at least, take things slow with Rell so you won’t make the same mistakes.”

  I scratched the side of my face before folding my arms across my chest. “So, you saying I’m a hoe?”

  “Not at all, Love. I’m just saying, you reckless with your heart.”

  “Well, thanks but… this is just the way I was built. I love hard, and I’m not changing. You know my situation with Terrell and my living arrangements. As far as the time frame of me having sex with him is concerned, how long does it take to choose to love someone, Marcel? I love Terrell, and he loves me. I know you might not be able to understand it from the outside looking in, but yes, I love him and I love Alex and that will never change. My love is unconditional. What they do is irrelevant. I chose to love these niggas. It’s not about what they say or do or give or how they make me feel. My love has nothing to do with them. Alex didn’t understand that, but Terrell does because he loves just the same. I’m not slowing down or giving him up for anything or anyone in this world. Not even you. If my relationship with him bothers you that much, we might need to chill with this friendship because he isn’t going anywhere.”

  “So, you gone choose that nigga over me?”

  “It ain’t even a choice, baby. It shouldn’t be. That’s my nigga. You are my best friend. Y’all ain’t even in the same lane.”

  He nodded as he stood. He walked over to me, kissed my temple, and stared at me for a second before grabbing his phone and leaving. I groaned heavily as I grabbed my phone. Terrell’s ass better do right since he may have just cost me my best friend. After I dialed his number, I put the call on speakerphone and sat in on my table.

  “Ziah… where you at, baby? I need some Peace.”

  I blushed. For whatever reason he decided to name my kitty cat Peace. “Why Terrell? What’s going on?”

  “These niggas I’m recording. Niggas suck, man. Then, they expect me to work a fucking miracle. Got my head throbbing.”

  “Awww baby, you got it. You the King, that’s why they came to you.”

  “Look at you. Where you at, though? You gone be able to slide through so I can slide in you for a few seconds? We ain’t gotta have sex. Just let me put it in for a few seconds.”

  “Terrell, that is not going to work.”

  “Yes, it will. I’ll behave. I promise.”

  “Nigga, why you just lie like that?”

  He laughed. I laughed. “Alright. Alright. What’s going on, though? Aren’t you with Marvell?”

  “Marcel, nigga. You know his name, quit playing.”

  “Whatever, you know who I mean.”

  “He left. He’s mad at me.”

  “Why? What happened?” I heard his chair creak as he sat up and I smiled at his concern.

  “He don’t wanna be my best friend anymore. He said I love too recklessly and he don’t want to see me get hurt again.”

  “Type of shit is that?” I shrugged as if he could see me. “What that nigga say? He just left?”

  “He was like I need to slow down with you or be by myself for a while, but I was like nah. Losing you ain’t even an option.”

  “Baaabyy… I don’t want to be the reason you lose your best friend. But… I’ll be your best friend. I promise you won’t even notice he’s not in your life anymore. If you want me to talk to him or some shit, though, I will. I’m with you no matter what.”

  “I’m good. It will work itself out in its own time. If not, it was fun while it lasted, feel me?”

  “Nah, Ion feel you, but I’m trying to.”

  “Terrell!”

  Rell

  Alayziah and Layyah were pacing in front of me like crazy. Bishop texted me to let me know that BJ was ready to come so we met Layyah up here. Now, they were wearing a hole in the floor in front of me and it was taking all the patience I had to not snatch them both by the hair and sit their nervous asses down. Bishop came waltzing out and I stood and walked towards him. Stopping midway to turn and look at them. They both were on my heels and one of them stepped on the back of my shoe.

  “Will y’all chill? Stepping all on me and shit.”

  Alayziah smiled and Layyah mugged me.

  “We sorry, baby.”

  “Nigga, shut up,” they replied simultaneously.

  I shook my head and turned around to face Bishop.

  “What’s up nigga?” I asked.

  “She can have one more person in the room. It’s time.”

  “Okay… who y’all want?”

  Bishop looked at all three of us and sighed. “You nigga.”

  My eyes bucked.

  “Me? Ion know nothing
about birthing no babies.”

  “Nigga, you ain’t got to birth no baby country ass, nigga. We just gotta stand there and hold her hand and tell her she’s doing good the nurse said.”

  “Fine, but if she start screaming too loud and shit I’m ghost.”

  Carmen

  My plan would soon be in full effect. I was worried that I wouldn’t have a way to get to her now that she knew I was coming for her, but thanks to one of the men in her life practically handing her to me I was going to soon get my full revenge. Since she wanted my husband so bad, she was about to meet him in hell.

  Alayziah

  Layyah and I were sitting in the waiting room and we were a nervous wreck. Layyah was sitting next to me with her forearms resting on her thighs and her head hanging. I was sitting so far down in my chair the back of my head was where my back should have been and my ass was almost out of the chair. My legs were shaking and I couldn’t help but wonder how long this was going to take. I’d never been in the hospital while someone was giving birth before. Usually, I just got the call or text that the baby had been born, but this shit was nerve wracking. I closed my eyes and shortly after Layyah began to speak.

  “Al, what was it like growing up with pops?”

  Surprised by her question I opened my eyes, sat up, and looked at her. “It was cool. He’s… a great dad,” she nodded as she looked away. “I’m sorry you didn’t get to grow up with him,” I added sincerely.

  “It’s cool. I mean, it ain’t… but it is what it is.”

  “Well, you can have a better relationship with him now if you want.”

  “What about you?”

  “I mean, I don’t really have anything against you personally. Just, don’t come for my man.”

  “I’m not. Rell and I are past over. He made it very clear that he was done with me. Besides, I’m with Mike.”

  “The nigga we had to come to Miami for?”

  “Yeap.” She blushed and I shook my head at her crazy ass.

  “Lay…”

  “I know it might seem crazy but that’s my baby. He cheated on me because I cheated on him. I was scared to commit honestly, but after almost losing him for the second time I want to do whatever it takes to make it work.”

  “I hear you.”

  “So, what’s up with you? I want us to really get to know each other, but for now, give me the basics about my little sis. You know you were born because of me? Pops felt so bad about what he did with my mother that he took yours on a weeklong vacation and that’s when you were conceived.”

  “Layyah, only you would take credit for somebody’s birth but um, I just started back going to school. I’ve got two more years before I have my Bachelors in Creative Writing. I want to use it to teach, but the ultimate goal is to make it as a poet and writer. I’m working as a copywriter, well I was until Rell made me quit. Um, I, I don’t know Lay. I’m just living. I’m working on a poetry CD and DVD with Rell. That’s actually how we met. Kai invited him to my poetry set and he wore me down.”

  “You really like him huh?”

  “I do. My best friend and I had this little spat because he doesn’t understand me and my love, but Terrell does. We vibe in such a way that throughout the day I can’t tell if I’m thinking for me or for him. He gets me. He handles me. He appreciates me. He adores me, Lay. Why wouldn’t I want to spend my life with him?”

  Sadness filled her eyes temporarily, but she quickly put her poker face back on.

  “Well, he deserves to be happy Al, and if you bring him that I’m glad you two found each other.”

  “What about you? What you got going?”

  “Shit. I ain’t into the arts and dreaming big and all that shit like y’all. I’m just a normal girl living a normal life. My family moved to Cali. When the shit went down with Kai and Rell I moved there but I came back when Mike started snooping around trying to find out who killed Courtney.”

  “Courtney? Who is Courtney?”

  “Girl… that’s a long ass story.”

  “We got time.”

  Rell

  “Well, when is he gone let me come and see the baby? He’s been home two whole weeks and I ain’t had time to see BJ yet.”

  I sighed as my mother asked me the same question that she’d been asking me since BJ was born. “Ma, Bishop and Kailani don’t mind you coming over. You just want to come when ain’t nobody else there so you can hog BJ, but I’m telling you that ain’t gone happen no time soon.”

  “I bet it’s not. That little boy is the most handsome little thing. He’s got Bishop’s eyes and Kailani’s color and cheeks. Oh, he’s going to be a heartbreaker. Speaking of which, when you gone give me some grandbabies?”

  “I don’t know, ma,” I stood and took my plate to the sink. It was time to bounce when she started bringing this shit up.

  “Well, are you dating anybody? I’m so glad you didn’t get Layyah pregnant. I couldn’t take her for the rest of my life.”

  “Ma…”

  “I’m just saying, baby. I told you she wasn’t good for you.”

  “That you did,” I sat back down and pulled my chair closer to hers before I continued. “Honestly, ma, I know I’ve found the one. She’s amazing. She’s creative. She’s beautiful. She’s corny funny. She’s submissive and respectful, but she don’t take no sh— no stuff from me or anyone else. She’s passionate. She’s everything, ma.”

  “Well, if she’s everything to you why haven’t I met her yet?”

  “It’s been a lot going on, but you’ll meet her soon.”

  “Y’all having sex?”

  “Ma…”

  “What? That’s how I know you serious about a woman. You having sex with her?”

  “Ma, I am not talking about my sex life with you, man.”

  “I’ll take that as a yes. You really like her huh?”

  I nodded as the wheels in my head began to spin. We have been getting it in on the regular without a condom, and I never pull out. I needed to see if she was on birth control. If not ma might have a grandbaby on the way sooner than we thought.

  Carmen

  I wasn’t sure how Rell was going to react to seeing me, but we had a contract. I signed to his label. So, for the next seven years, we were going to be tied to each other. When I pulled up at his studio, I made sure to ride around the entire building to see who all was there. Since I didn’t see Alayziah’s car I went on in. As soon as I opened the door this nigga pulled a gun on me, and Bishop wasn’t far behind with his. I immediately raised my hands and yelled.

  “Don’t shoot! I’m not here to cause any trouble. I just want to work, Rell. We signed a contract, remember?”

  “Fuck you and that contract. Did you think you were gone get away with the shit you been doing to my girl?” he asked stepping towards me.

  “Rell, I told my mother where I’d be this afternoon. If I don’t call her every hour she’s going to call the police.”

  Slowly, he lowered his gun. Bishop stubbornly kept his in the air.

  “Bishop…” Rell said.

  “Fuck that. Her mama don’t know shit about me. She came for Al she came for you, she came for you, she came for me.”

  “I told her about you too, Bishop. I’m not stupid.”

  “Ion believe you,” he said taking a step towards me and cocking his gun. I took a step back.

  “I can call her. I told her that you were here my first time coming. If anything happens to me, she’s going to the police and tell them I had beef with Alayziah, her boyfriend Terrell, and his best friend Bishop. I don't want any problems with y’all. My problem is with her. And that don’t have shit to do with what’s going on here.”

  “That has everything to do with what’s going on here. The fuck? That’s my woman!” Rell yelled lowering Bishop’s gun.

  “Rell, I just want to sing.”

  “Alright. I got some for your ass. You ain’t stupid but I ain’t either. Section L paragraph 6 of your contract says that at any p
oint I can ship your ass to Peyton and The Cannon Sisters and still make my profit off of you. So, don’t think about stepping foot in my studio again, and if I catch you anywhere near my woman again I’m not gone touch you. I’m touching everyone around you. Play with me if you want to, Carmen.”

  He pulled his phone out and made a call. I stood there to see what he was up to even though I was clearly unwanted.

  “Layyah, where you at? Meet me at the studio. I got some shit I need you to handle.” Ending the call, he returned his attention to me. “Aye, if you don’t want to get your ass beat I suggest you leave. Now.”

  “Nah, let her ass stay. I wanna see Lay tag into her.”

  I didn’t know who this Lay character was, but seeing as I was dressed in a skirt and pumps, I decided to leave. Not because I was scared, but because I was a lady. I didn’t do this fighting shit on the regular, but I definitely knew how to get even.

  Alayziah

  “He treating you good?” Jabari asked.

  I had Jessica to come with me to pick out some new furniture for my apartment. What I wanted for my living room area had to be custom made, so I decided to have the entire order shipped to me in a few weeks. I was sitting on the steps in front of my apartment waiting for him to pick her up. I offered to take her home, but since he was at the restaurant, he decided to come and pick her up. After we hugged, goodbye and she walked to the car he sat next to me and asked me the same question he’d been asking me every time he saw me.

  “Jabari, why do you always ask me that? I don’t ask you about your woman every time I see you.”

  “I ask you because I know what you’ve been through, Al.”

  My heart softened. “He’s treating me really good, Jabari.”

  He nodded. We sat there for a few minutes before he spoke again. “I want you to know that I appreciate you so much Al for being here for my sister, and me. I didn’t tell her that you told me about that nigga, but I took care of him.”