The Cold Wife

by Ruth Ann Nordin

  Brad caught up to her and wrapped his arms around her so she couldn’t run anymore. He picked her up and took her back to the bridal chamber. Turning to Mary, he said, “Lock the door from the outside so she can’t get back out until it’s time for the ceremony.”

  “You can’t betray me like this,” Carrie screamed to Mary as she fought to get out of her brother’s arms. “You’re supposed to be my best friend.”

  Her friend looked sympathetically at her. “It’s because I’m your best friend that I’m going to do as your brother said. I honestly believe you’ll be giving up a wonderful husband if you don’t marry Justin.”

  “You’ll thank us someday,” Brad agreed.

  He dropped her in a chair and kept her in place until Mary shut and locked the door. Mary stood outside the room so she could unlock it when it was time for the wedding.

  Carrie had never felt more betrayed in her life. Her brother and best friend were active participants in the worst day of her life. “I’ll never forgive either of you for this,” she loudly stated so Mary could hear her from the other side of the door.

  “Yes, you will,” Brad simply replied, not disturbed by her anger at him. “You’ve been mad at me for worse things.”

  “I can’t think of what’s worse than this.”

  She crossed her arms and turned away from him. Just because he was in the room, it didn’t mean she had to look at or speak to him. She considered her options. One, she could continue to try to talk sense into her brother and friend. That, however, didn’t seem to be working. In fact, the more she protested, the more they wanted to see her with Justin. So she thought over her other option. She could say no when the preacher asked if she would fulfill her marital vows. She was nervous enough about being in front of a church full of people, but it was an option worth considering. Sure, her family and friends would be upset. But they weren’t the ones being forced into this marriage. Naturally, they wouldn’t care if her heart was breaking over it. She finally decided that she would simply refuse to marry him during the ceremony.

  She spent the rest of the hour in silence. Her brother tried to reason with her but she ignored him. She even refused to look at him.

  Mary unlocked the door. “Everyone is ready for the bride.”

  “Don’t you mean, ‘Justin Monroe is ready for the bride’?” Carrie sarcastically stated.

  “Carrie, please don’t make a scene out there,” her brother pleaded with her. “Justin’s a good man who honestly cares for you. He doesn’t deserve to look like a fool on his wedding day.”

  She didn’t respond. She stood up and stomped past Mary and Julie who had been waiting outside the door. She briefly noted that Mary looked upset, but she had a feeling that Mary wasn’t upset about the wedding, her or Justin. Something else is bothering her. She has that same look she gets when she hears unpleasant news. Julie was grinning from ear to ear, so obviously, whatever was bothering Mary, it had nothing to do with Julie.

  Mrs. Parker handed her the white flowers. “You do look lovely. The dress really enhances your figure. Mr. Monroe will be pleased.”

  She gritted her teeth so she wouldn’t roll her eyes. She waited as Julie and Brad walked down the aisle and separated so that Julie stood on her side and Brad went to Justin’s side. She couldn’t see the altar but knew that this was the procedure. Mary and Nathan followed. Then it was her turn. She didn’t bother to look at her father as she put her hand on his arm.

  “Carrie, must you be cold on your wedding day?” he sadly whispered.

  “Are you surprised? You know very well that I don’t want to be here,” she whispered back.

  He sighed. “I had wished my last day here would be a joyous one.”

  She glanced at him. “You’re leaving today?”

  “After the reception.”

  She forced back her tears. She didn’t want people whispering to each other and wondering why she was crying. She took a deep breath and looked ahead.

  “I love you, honey,” he said. “I wouldn’t be giving you to Justin if I didn’t believe he was the right one for you.”

  She couldn’t respond. If she started telling him that she loved him too, then she would cry.

  He smiled at her and patted her hand. “I know.”

  He did know. He could tell how she felt just by looking at her. She took comfort in that. She allowed him to lead her down the aisle. Her face grew hot from the awareness that everyone was watching her. She hadn’t been the center of attention before and found that it made her nervous. She could barely concentrate on walking. By the time she reached the altar, she could barely hear what the preacher was saying. It was hard to focus when she could feel everyone staring at her.

  Her father took her hand and put it around Justin’s arm. For the first time, she took a good look at Mr. Monroe. It suddenly occurred to her that he was a handsome man. It was odd that she hadn’t noticed that he was so attractive before.

  The preacher began talking and her heart beat faster and faster with each word he spoke. Soon it would be her chance to say that she wasn’t going to marry Justin. When the preacher expects me to say, “I do,” I’ll say, “I don’t.”

  She took a couple of deep breaths, hoping to calm down enough so she could concentrate on what was going on around her. Just forget that a room full of people are listening and watching. Unfortunately, telling herself that didn’t make it that easy.

  The preacher stopped talking and looked at her.

  Startled, she blinked.

  “Miss Allen?” he gently asked.

  She cleared her throat. She hadn’t realized that the ceremony had progressed so quickly. Say no! She glanced at Mary who looked as if she was silently pleading for her to say “I do.” Julie didn’t seem to be paying attention. Justin looked worried. Nathan looked concerned. Brad gave her a warning look.

  Just say no! She tried to speak but the words wouldn’t come out of her mouth. Maybe I can talk to him after the reception, when no one is watching. “I do,” she finally said.

  Mary, Justin, Nathan and Brad looked relieved.

  After the ceremony was over and they had eaten their lunch, it was time for dessert. She hadn’t touched Justin since the ceremony, and since Nathan and Brad sat at their table, he spent most of his time answering their investment questions. She, in turn, talked to Mary and Julie. She noticed that Julie was acting strange, though she didn’t know exactly why or how. It seemed that Mary knew the reason but chose to act as if nothing was wrong. Carrie knew both of her friends well enough to understand that something wasn’t right.

  Fifteen minutes after dessert, it was time for the first dance and Justin and Carrie had to be the first ones on the floor. Her nerves had settled during the lunch since people were no longer watching her, but as she joined Justin on the dance floor, her anxiety returned.

  “Forgive me if I step on your feet,” he softly told her so that no one would overhear.

  His words helped to ease her own fear of dancing in front of everyone. She accepted his hand. She was four inches shorter than him and she thought it was a pleasant difference. He wrapped an arm around her waist and gently held her hand in his. She didn’t want to enjoy being so close to him. Embarrassed, she couldn’t bring herself to look at him.

  “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on,” he told her.

  She accidently stepped on his foot. “I’m sorry,” she immediately said.

  He smiled. “I don’t mind. I’m just glad I’m not the only one who’s not very good at dancing.”

  She chuckled despite herself. “I always hope no one else notices.”

  “I’m the same way.”

  She looked at him. “You don’t like to be in the spotlight?”

  “No. I know my job requires it on occasion, so I have to force myself to talk in front of a group of people. To be honest, I’d rather just sit back and watch someone else give the presentation.”

  “Do you do that a lot?”
/>   “I have to muddle through it twice a month. Most of the time my uncle gives the speeches.”

  “What do you speak about?”

  He accidently stepped on her foot. He winced.

  “I’m fine,” she assured him.

  He seemed relieved.

  “I’m sure I’ll step on your feet a couple more times before the dance is over,” she warned him.

  “I won’t tell anyone if you don’t tell them that I step on your feet too,” he said.

  “It’s a deal.” She was beginning to feel better about dancing. She noticed that other people had joined them as well. Realizing their focus was no longer on her and Justin, she could relax. “What do you have to talk about when you work?”

  “Some of what I do is a sales pitch. I have to convince men that a certain stock or bond is worth buying, but most of the time, I have to show them how their investments are maturing and if they should keep or sell them. I sent some investment ideas to your father. I think they’ll prove profitable for him.”

  She realized that he didn’t get paid for doing that since her father could barely afford to pay for his train ticket and living allowances as he began his life in Oregon.

  “Thank you for doing that,” she replied.

  “It wasn’t a big deal. I just told him what I invest in.”

  She suddenly realized that he was humble. He probably did things for people without expecting anything in return. After a couple moments of silence, she said, “I wouldn’t want your job. It was bad enough talking to the preacher.”

  “That’s why you looked like you were ready to bolt for the door.”

  She glanced at him. He didn’t realize that she wanted to bolt because she didn’t want to marry him. She would have to wait until later to explain that to him. “I guess my father and brother were right. You are a good man.” And it was going to make it that much harder to do what she needed to do.

  “Well, from what I hear, you’re an outstanding woman. I’m a lucky man to have you as my wife.”

  A momentary flicker of guilt raced through her. He wasn’t going to think that after she asked for an annulment. The dance ended and she looked back at the table. She noticed that Mary and Julie seemed to be arguing. “Do you mind if I see what is troubling my friends?” she asked him.

  He turned his attention to the two women who were obviously upset. “No, I don’t mind.” He led her back to the table. “I’ll leave you alone with them.” He pulled out her chair and waited for her to sit. Then he lightly kissed her on the cheek before leaving so he could speak with his uncle.

  “Mary, Julie, what’s wrong?” she asked.

  Mary shook her head, her irritation apparent on her pretty round face. She stared at Julie. “Tell her,” she demanded.

  Carrie had the overwhelming urge to flee but remained still in her chair.

  Julie hesitated to say anything.

  Mary narrowed her eyes at their friend. “She’ll find out sooner or later. She might as well find out from you.”

  Carrie looked at Julie who shifted uneasily in her chair.

  “I don’t know what the problem is,” the dark blond finally stated. “Carrie, you’re married to Justin now. From what I hear, he’s a wonderful man. You’ll be fine.”

  “Tell her,” Mary ordered through clenched teeth.

  “Harrison asked me if he could court me and I said yes,” Julie admitted. “But you’re not even available so it’s not an issue.”

  “Tell her the other thing,” Mary pressed.

  “I told her what she needs to know.”

  “No, you didn’t.” Mary turned to Carrie. “Harrison has been making his affections known to Julie for the past two months. I just found out when I saw Harrison drop her off at the church. I overheard them talking. Little do people realize that when windows are open, voices carry.”

  Carrie waited until the room stopped spinning around her before she spoke. “Julie, why didn’t you tell me when he began to court you? You were with him for one month before he started to pay attention to me.”

  She shrugged. “He insisted we keep it a secret. I don’t know why. He’s so charming that he talked me into keeping quiet. Then yesterday afternoon, he told me that we can let everyone know we’re courting. You’re with Justin. Things have worked out.”

  Carrie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “You don’t understand, Julie. If I had known you were interested in him, I never would have entertained romantic notions about him. Surely, it must have bothered you when you saw him speaking with me.”

  “It did,” she softly confessed. She stared at the purple napkin which matched the purple ribbons in the church. “But he assured me that he had no lasting interest in you.”

  This is getting worse and worse with each passing minute. “I don’t know what to say.” Or what to feel. Part of her couldn’t believe what was happening. She felt as if she was in a dream that was going in slow motion. Everyone around her was laughing and having a good time, unaware of the realization that the one man she thought had showed a genuine interest in her as a person hadn’t been interested in her after all. She could have handled that well enough, but knowing her childhood friend had let him do such a thing was too much to take.

  Mary held her hand. “Carrie, Harrison is not a good man. You are much better off with Justin.”

  “Harrison is just fine,” Julie argued. “We’re going to marry in one week.”

  Mary looked as shocked as Carrie felt. “And how long have you been engaged?” Mary snapped.

  “Since this morning,” she shot back. “Really, I don’t see what the problem is. Everything has worked out well for everyone.”

  Mary shook her head in disgust.

  Finally, Carrie whispered, “Why?”

  Her two friends seemed as if they didn’t expect her to say anything.

  “Why what?” Julie wondered.

  “Why didn’t you tell me that Harrison had no right to ask if he could court me? He did ask that, if you recall.” Carrie’s words got louder as she continued to speak.

  “He said he had to take care of something. I don’t know what it was but it’s over now.”

  “He sat in my parlor and asked me if he could court me, and the entire time, he was secretly seeing you and you didn’t say anything. Do you understand how much that hurts me?”

  “He’s no good, Carrie,” Mary assured her. “Now you know that he wasn’t worth the effort.”

  “He’s not the one who’s hurting me,” Carrie said, turning to Julie. “His betrayal is a little thing but yours...” She took a deep breath. “We’ve been friends since we were sixteen.” Her voice choked as tears fell from her eyes.

  Mary grabbed a handkerchief and gave it to her so she could wipe her eyes.

  “I didn’t betray you,” Julie insisted. “If I had thought for a moment that you and Harrison were going to marry, I would have said something.”

  “But you knew he was lying to me and didn’t say anything,” Carrie replied.

  Julie sighed. “I can’t do anything about it now. As I said, it’s all worked out.”

  “Why did he pretend to like me?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Do you really want to marry someone like that?” Mary hissed at Julie. “What if he does this after you’re married?”

  “He loves me,” Julie argued. “He won’t pretend to like another woman after we wed.”

  Mary shook her head. “If he’s doing this now, he will likely do it again. Not all men take the marriage vows seriously. What will you do if he decides to get a mistress? Will you be happy then?”

  “I told you that he loves me. He doesn’t want another woman.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “If you knew him like I do, you would understand.” She stood up, looking upset. “It’s apparent that neither one of you will be happy for me. I thought our friendship could survive anything but it seems that I was wrong.”

  Mary stood up. “Don�
��t you dare turn this on us!” Her voice was low enough so the guests wouldn’t overhear. “If you had shown enough decency to apologize to Carrie, then we could work through this. But you act as if Carrie’s feelings don’t even matter. She did care for Harrison and had hoped to marry him. Thankfully, God made other arrangements for her, but what will you do if you marry him and end up miserable?”

  Julie didn’t speak. She grabbed her purse and left.

  Carrie closed her eyes. In one moment, she lost her friend.

  Mary hugged her. “Carrie, I’m sorry. I wasn’t sure if you should know but the more I prayed about it, the more it seemed like you should find out.”

  She hugged her friend back. “I still don’t understand why Julie didn’t tell me.”

  “Perhaps she feared that Harrison would choose not to court her anymore.”

  “Perhaps.”

  Justin and Brad walked over to them.

  “Carrie, are you feeling alright?” Justin asked.

  “She and Julie had to work through something,” Mary answered for her.

  “I’ll be fine,” Carrie replied. She was surprised that he seemed to be concerned about her feelings. “Did you want something?” She looked at Justin.

  “Actually, I was going to ask if you wanted to dance, but if you’re upset, then we don’t have to.”

  Dancing would be a good distraction from her conversation with Julie. “I’ll dance,” she said.

  Brad asked Mary to dance and she accepted.

  Carrie hated to admit it, but she did enjoy dancing with Justin. His touch was gentle but firm. Don’t get attached to him. You were forced into this marriage. Once you explain the situation, he’ll understand and agree that an annulment is best for both of us.

  Chapter Six

  Justin and Carrie had just arrived home when she asked to speak with him in private. He agreed and took her to one of the parlors and shut the door. Since she sat in a chair, he sat in another chair that was across from her. She sat for a couple of minutes and stared at her hands, as if trying to determine what to say. He shifted uneasily in his chair, knowing this wasn’t going to be a good conversation.