The Cold Wife

by Ruth Ann Nordin

  “Do you remember the important matter I had wished to discuss with you on Thursday evening?” she finally asked.

  “Yes,” he replied. He patiently waited for her to continue.

  “I never got the chance to tell you what was on my mind. I’ve been trying to tell you since then. Yesterday, I even went by your work, but the receptionist wouldn’t let me see you. He said you had important meetings half the day and had to prepare for the wedding. Then today, before the wedding, you were at another business meeting and I couldn’t talk to you then either. Apparently, you are difficult to get a hold of.”

  “I’m sorry. No one told me you were trying to talk to me, and my uncle insisted that the business meetings I had to go to were crucial. I made sure that he understood that he is not to intrude on our time together for the rest of this weekend. I have to go to work on Monday, but as I explained on Thursday, I won’t be able to get a day off for another two weeks so we can go on our honeymoon.”

  She glanced at the door.

  “Is it too soon?” he softly asked.

  She looked back at him. “Too soon for what?”

  “To consummate the marriage?” He hated to even ask the question since he had been wishing to make love to her ever since he learned of their engagement. He had thought of little else for the past two days.

  “Well, that’s just it. I don’t want to consummate the marriage at all.”

  He could only stare at her in shock.

  She continued. “We are wrong for each other. I tried to tell you. I told my father but he wouldn’t listen. I asked him to let me out of the engagement so I could move to Oregon with him or stay in town and support myself. He wouldn’t budge. And I wasn’t able to talk to you so here we are. One small thing has turned into a huge mess, but before this becomes a disaster, I have to put a stop to it.”

  “I thought you wanted to marry me.” He could barely speak the words. His heart felt like it was being ripped apart.

  “No,” she softly replied. “I don’t know who gave you that idea but they were wrong. Don’t you understand how we don’t suit each other? I mean, we don’t even know each other. We probably don’t have anything in common.”

  “You’re wrong.”

  She looked startled. “What?”

  “We do have things in common. We have the same faith and similar backgrounds, we can’t dance, and we love the beach. I assume we have more similar interests too. It’s true we don’t know each other well, but don’t we know of each other well enough to start a marriage?”

  She sighed and put her head in her hands. When she looked at him, he could tell that she felt guilty for revealing this to him. “I thought you felt the same way I did. I...”

  The tension in the room was so strong he almost bolted out of the room. After a long moment, he asked, “Why did you say ‘I do’?”

  “I tried to say no but the words wouldn’t come out and then I got nervous with everyone waiting for me to speak. It was a very awkward moment.”

  “Not as awkward as this.”

  She turned her attention back to her hands which were folded in her lap.

  “What do you want now?” He felt hollow as he asked the question. He already knew her answer.

  “An annulment.”

  “Do I have any say in this?”

  “I assumed you would be in agreement with me.”

  “Well, I’m not.”

  “So it’s true? You really do want to be with me?”

  Why did she have to say it as if he was stupid for wanting that? “Of course. What man wouldn’t?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Plenty.”

  “How unfortunate for you that you ended up with the one who does.” He stood up. “I don’t make any rash decisions. I have to think about it.”

  She shook her head. “But this isn’t your decision.”

  “And you think it’s yours?”

  “When one person doesn’t want to be in a marriage, it’s only gracious for the other one to allow her freedom.”

  He couldn’t believe his ears. Freedom? Was being married to him the equivalent of being in prison? “I need to cool down,” he stiffly responded. “I’ll be back later.”

  He knew she was upset but he didn’t care. He had to get out of there before he made a decision he’d regret. He left the house and went to his uncle’s place. The butler led him to the parlor where his uncle was filling out paperwork at his desk.

  As soon as his uncle saw him, he said, “I didn’t expect to see you until Monday after all that fuss you made about not working this weekend. Don’t tell me you changed your mind.”

  Justin looked at the older man. “Carrie didn’t want to marry me. I was under the impression that she wished for the marriage as much as I did. Did you realize that she’s opposed to it?”

  The older man sighed and sat back in his chair. “Are you sure that she is that opposed to it?”

  “She made it clear that she was. She said that she begged her father not to force her into it and she tried to talk to me about it at the engagement party, but since I ran off to attend that business meeting, she wasn’t able to. Oh, there have also been other attempts she made to inform me of her desire to remain single.”

  “Had you been able to talk to her before the ceremony, you would have agreed to call off the wedding?”

  “Of course. I don’t want her to be a part of this if she doesn’t want it.”

  “So it was imperative that you went to the business meetings when you did. All things work out when you notice the details.”

  Justin couldn’t believe his ears. “I missed a big detail on Thursday. I didn’t get it until I was walking over here. She wore her funeral dress that night because she thinks marrying me is equivalent to dying.”

  To his surprise, his uncle chuckled. “Oh, she’s so cute.”

  He groaned. “How can you make light of this?” His heart was breaking because the woman he had hoped to spend the rest of his life with just told him she didn’t want to be with him, and his uncle was acting like it wasn’t important.

  His uncle stopped laughing and motioned for him to sit across from him.

  Justin rolled his eyes but did as instructed.

  Jonathan leaned forward, placing his elbows on the desk in front of him. “I saw the way you two danced at the reception. She wasn’t exactly fighting you on the dance floor. I think she enjoyed herself.”

  “Then when I brought her home, she told me that she doesn’t want to be with me.”

  He waved his hand as if to dismiss his nephew’s words. “She has a classic case of denial.”

  “Denial?”

  “Yes. She finds you interesting but doesn’t want to admit it. I think she’s upset because she wasn’t given a choice in the marriage. Her father probably just told her that she was getting married and that was it. Since she’s twenty-four, she’s had time to gain some independence. As a result, she has discovered that she was able to make decisions for herself and would have liked to decide who to marry. Naturally, this led to her negative attitude toward you.”

  “Why wasn’t she given a choice?”

  “Because her father was sure that she would be miserable if she never married. Let’s face it. She may be pretty and sweet but she’s terribly shy with men, so she wouldn’t have ever found a husband without some help. I could tell that you’ve loved her for the longest time but never made a move. Frankly, this is the best thing her father and I did for both of you.”

  “I’m going to let her get the annulment she asked for.”

  His uncle shook his head. “That isn’t necessary.” He drummed his fingers on the desk. Suddenly, he smiled. “Kiss her.”

  Justin hadn’t expected this. “What?”

  “Take her in your arms and give her a long, passionate kiss. Some tongue action would help.”

  “Uncle Jonathan!”

  “Do you want to stay married to her or not?”

  “You already know the answer t
o that,” he softly stated.

  “Then you need to fight for your marriage. If you kiss her and you detect even the slightest bit of response from her, then you know that there’s a hint of interest she is harboring for you. If that’s the case, then you ask her for one month to be married to you. In that time, let her have her own bedroom and make it clear to the staff that you won’t consummate the marriage so you can protect her reputation in case she insists on the annulment once the month is up. Take that month to court her. Romance her and show her that you honestly care for her. Give her lots of hugs and kisses. Treat her as if she were the most important woman who ever lived. I believe she’ll come around.”

  “That’s crazy.”

  “Is it?” His uncle shrugged. “If you try it, then the worst that can happen is she’ll go through with the annulment. You’ll be in the same position you are in now. However, if you try it and she changes her mind, then you will have the woman you love. Isn’t it worth a month to find out either way?”

  Justin considered his words. He was right, of course. Finally Justin nodded. “I’ll try it.”

  Chapter Seven

  When Justin returned home, he sighed when he saw that Carrie had instructed the maid and butler to leave her things by the front door. He was amazed at how she could take him to the heights of heaven at the wedding and drag him to the lowest depths of hell when he took her to the place he had planned to build their future together. He didn’t know what it was about him that she found so repulsive that she would rather spend her life as a spinster than spend it with him.

  He wasn’t sure where she went so he had to ask the maid.

  “She’s at the gazebo in the backyard,” Constance answered him.

  He thanked her and went out to the veranda. He paused for a moment. He wasn’t sure how he was going to approach her. His uncle seemed to think this was a simple matter that would easily be resolved, but Justin realized that his entire world would fall apart if she left. He saw her as she sat on the bench. The fact that she still wore her wedding dress seemed like one colossal joke, and he was the butt of it. He had stupidly assumed that she was happy to marry him. How could I have been so wrong? He actually thought she had enjoyed dancing with him at the reception. He thought years of doing business with clients had prepared him to notice details, but he wasn’t effective when it came to detecting her subtle cues.

  He was tempted to make her spend the entire night sitting out there, wondering what he would decide, but he couldn’t bring himself to treat her that way. What was the best approach? What would he do if he had a client who was determined not to invest with his uncle’s firm? He thought back to a time when he had to work with several hesitant clients. He had to act casual about it. He couldn’t allow them to see the fact that he stressed over their decision because as soon as he did that, he lost the account. He had to keep a cool head. He took a deep breath and got ready to approach her.

  He was halfway across the lawn when she noticed him. She sat up straight and waited for him to reach her. He was struck by her beauty. It didn’t matter that other men thought she was pretty but not worth pursuing. He thought she was the loveliest creature God ever made.

  When he stood in front of her, he held his hand out to her. “Will you give me one kiss?”

  She appeared startled. “I kissed you at the wedding.”

  And it was good enough that it left him wanting more. “I know but now there’s no one to watch us. It won’t seem so awkward.” Perhaps that wasn’t true. He couldn’t stop his slight trembling but was determined not to let her discover it.

  “There’s no point in it.” Though she protested, she took his hand and stood up.

  “I need to find out something before I tell you what’s on my mind.”

  “And you can find it out by a kiss?”

  He nodded. At least, he hoped he could.

  “Are you going to grant the annulment?” she asked.

  “I’ll tell you after the kiss.”

  Her hand was soft and warm in his. What would her hands feel like on his body? He forced the thought aside and slipped his arms around her. Since his wedding kiss had been his first kiss, it wasn’t easy to figure out how to passionately kiss her as his uncle had suggested. He felt incredibly untrained for this type of thing, but he had to start somewhere. He didn’t start out giving good presentations at work. He had to practice until he was good at it. He would love to practice perfecting his kissing skills on her but wondered if this was going to be his only chance.

  He pushed the depressing thought aside and softly kissed her. He didn’t notice any response from her. She stood still and allowed him to deepen the kiss. As he continued kissing her, he began to overcome his shyness. She brought out yearnings that he hadn’t been aware of. He longed to explore them but he had asked for one kiss and it was all she was prepared to give him. She leaned into him and finally returned his passion with her own. He was relieved. He was beginning to think that she really didn’t have any interest in him. The realization that his uncle was right about her gave him a new confidence he hadn’t had with her before.

  If she wasn’t so insistent on the annulment, he would have picked her up and taken her to their bedroom. But he knew that option wasn’t available so he settled for the agreement he hoped he could talk her into. He reluctantly ended the kiss, which he had been enjoying far too much, and motioned for her to sit next to him. She took a moment before she sat next to him. He noticed that she looked flushed by their kiss. Was it possible that she enjoyed it, even a little bit?

  He waited until his breathing returned to normal before speaking. He was acutely aware that she sat close to him, making it hard for him to concentrate on the matter at hand, but he was determined to act as if he had perfect control over the situation.

  “I have a proposal for you,” he finally began.

  “What are you talking about?” She didn’t hide her confusion.

  “I would like to give our marriage a try.” When he saw that she was ready to protest, he quickly explained, “Give me one month. We will not consummate the marriage. You will have your own bedroom and I will make it clear to the staff and everyone else what the arrangement is between us so no one will think you are compromising your virtue. I would like a chance to court you since I didn’t get that opportunity. If one month from now, you still want the annulment, I will consent to it without any questions.”

  She frowned. “It isn’t what I expected, but I suppose it’s the best thing to do given the circumstances.”

  He sighed with relief.

  “I suppose I should unpack my things. Can I have the Egyptian bedroom?” she asked.

  He grinned. “You noticed the themes?”

  “I got a good look at every room but yours on Thursday. What is your theme?”

  “Modern times. It’s a typical 19th century bedroom.”

  She softly chuckled. “I should have known.”

  He watched her. Her smile reached her eyes and made them sparkle, and her laughter was the sound of wind chimes. He sensed that she was a lot of fun to be around once she overcame her shyness.

  “I will get to the task at hand,” she stated as she stood up. “Are you coming into the house?”

  “Not yet.” He wanted to stay out there for a few moments so he could replay their kiss in his mind.

  She nodded and left. He watched her as she walked past him in her gown. She was so beautiful that his body responded to her. He longed to take her in his arms and act on the many thoughts that raced through his mind. She was his wife but he had to keep his distance. He loved her and ached for her. He almost felt like a starving man who was invited to a feast but not allowed to eat anything.

  One month. One month from now I’ll either be the happiest man in the world or... He couldn’t bring himself to end the thought. When dealing with a client, failure was not an option. And it wasn’t an option with her either. It wasn’t a matter of if they consummated the marriage. It was a que
stion of when.

  ***

  Justin had no experience with courting women. Since his uncle introduced him to the investment business as soon as he turned eighteen, his life had been one business meeting after another. When he wasn’t dealing with clients, he was researching current investment trends, talking with other investors around the nation, or preparing and maintaining the clients’ portfolios. Many times he worked at least six days a week but even on his day off, which was Sunday, he would relax by doing more research. He attended and held dinner parties after normal business hours in order to learn about the clients and establish relationships with them.

  When it came to his love life, he hadn’t given it much thought. He didn’t have much time to think of anything but the next business meeting. He just went from one day to another and did what needed to be done with little thought to the future. Occasionally, he would be envious when he saw other men with their wives. Sometimes, late at night, he would lie in bed and contemplate his life. Though he had a relationship with God, it didn’t seem to be enough. Something was missing, and all the work in the world didn’t satisfy his craving for more. There has to be more to life than business meetings and clients. Lord, what is it that will make my life have meaning? He prayed that often, and when the news came of the engagement, he understood what it was that God was showing him all along. He needed a wife, and there was no one he wanted more than Carrie Allen.

  Once again, he was in bed, staring at the ceiling and alone. Of all nights, he was alone on his wedding night. He looked at the empty spot next to him in his bed and sighed. Images of what he wanted to do to his wife played themselves over and over again in his mind. How was a man to sleep under the strain of longing for something he couldn’t have? The answer was simple: he didn’t. He bathed, got dressed and went to the small den off to the side of the kitchen so he could do some work. It was three o’clock and everyone was asleep.

  Despite the paperwork in front of him, his thoughts kept drifting to the woman who was sleeping upstairs. His uncle said that he should romance her. What exactly did that entail? Sure, he knew of her. He knew she visited the nursing home and helped with the church functions. But who was she really? What were her interests? It suddenly occurred to him that she had a point when she said they didn’t know each other. He decided that the situation would have to change. He spent the rest of the early morning hours trying to come up with ways to do just that.