Follow Your Arrow

by A. M. Willard

  “Justin, you have a job and I understand.”

  “I promise, Leslie, I’ll be back to see you as soon as I can.”

  “I know. Look my food just arrived, I’ll call you later, okay.”

  “Sounds good,” I say before the line goes dead.

  Thoughts of how this is going to work flood my mind. Not to mention, that I’m not sure how she will handle the next release. There’s going to be questions. Ones that I’m not sure I can answer just yet. Hell, I’m worried how the interviews will go since most of the press have already received early copies. I’ve instructed Christina to filter the Q&A, making sure that the public isn’t aware of the contents just yet. Turning back to my computer, I run through my emails and social media, trying to take my mind off Leslie. I can’t help but wonder what it would be like right now if I never fled back to that island. Would I have finished this manuscript? What would Leslie be doing? Would we have ever crossed paths again if I’d not gone there to write? All these unanswered questions cause me to close down my computer. I need to go out and clear my head. Grabbing my phone, I go in search of my keys. There’s not an end destination, I just know I need out of this house.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Leslie

  Things with Justin and I are what I call strained in the least. We both knew that the miles that would separate us would be difficult, but what we didn’t prepare ourselves for was the loneliness that it would bring. Over the short time that he was back here with me, I realized that I missed having someone next to me. That I missed sharing a meal with someone other than my best friend. When I stop to think about it, I realized that I never did that with Jack. Even when we were married, we were apart. There wasn’t conversation while we enjoyed our dinner together. He always had work, or his other activates to keep him company. Now, now I’m restless. I miss having another warm body here to enjoy the day with. To tell them about a new book that I ordered for the store. Or how while standing down on the river I watched the dolphins playing in the water. It’s weird to think back on what I thought was normal and compare it to the few short weeks that Justin and I shared. It’s not over for us, I know this, but it still doesn’t calm down the jitters of love. Nor the feeling that I might have made a big mistake coming here. Justin has no idea that as soon as I ended our call today, I hopped in my car and drove to Jacksonville, FL to catch the next flight to California. I refuse to let history repeat itself. It’s already playing on rewind, and today I’m ready to hit pause.

  Nervous, I ring the doorbell while shifting from side to side out on his doorstep. I’ve got no idea if he’s even home. It’s dark out and the shadow from a lamp shines through the front window.

  “Leslie, what in the world,” he says as he swings the door open.

  “Surprise!” is the only thing I can think of saying.

  “Surprised for sure, come on in,” he says as he opens the door a little wider to allow me inside his home. I can’t help but stop in the foyer and take it all in. We didn’t talk about his home, or much of anything when it came to his life here. I’m about to say something about how his home fits him, but I’m quickly stopped as his arms reach around my midsection and pull me to him.

  “I like it when you surprise me.” Justin’s face is so close to mine. I shiver from his touch. It’s not because I’m scared, or even excited; it’s because I feel at home. It’s a shiver of ease, comfort, and security. That’s what Justin offers me anytime he touches me.

  “I figured history needed to be re-written, and I’ve always wanted to fly across the country…” My words are cut off by his mouth devouring mine. My purse drops to the floor as I wrap my arms around his neck, dragging him closer to me, kissing him back like our lives depend on each other. This is the welcome I wanted.

  A clearing of someone’s throat causes us to break apart. Afraid to look as I didn’t even think about the fact that he could have company or another woman in his house.

  “Christina, I’d like you to meet Leslie,” he says as he turns me toward the intruder. Staring over at her, I want to sink down and let a hole eat me up. She’s tall, like towers over me tall in her heels. Her hair is perfectly placed around her face, loose blonde curls that make me want to replicate it as a wig for myself. Not to mention that her navy dress fits her in like it was handmade for only her to wear. I swallow a little louder before jesting out my hand. “It’s nice to meet you. Sorry if I’m interrupting anything. I just… I… well, I wasn’t thinking when I flew here.”

  “I like it when you don’t think,” Justin says in a growl low enough that hopefully I’m the only one who heard him.

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Leslie. You’re just in time to help Justin approve some images for the book. Isn’t that right, Justin?”

  “Yes, we were just getting some things finished before I leave in a few days. Come on,” he says, and I can’t help but look at my carry-on bag that he placed near the table by the door.

  “Oh no, I don’t want to interrupt you guys. If you’d show me the spare room, I’ll just get comfortable.”

  “Christina, I’ll be right up. Can you give us a moment?”

  I watch as she glances down to her wrist, checking the time before answering. “Sure, but make it quick.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing, I just… I don’t want to get in the way.”

  “You could never get in my way. Oh and the spare room is off limits to you. You belong in my bed where I’ll make sure sleep is the last thing on your mind while you’re here.”

  I can’t help but smile as heat rises up in my face. I swat at his arm and let him lead me out of the foyer and around the same corner that Christina just disappeared around.

  Justin’s hand is placed on my lower back, guiding me down an open concept hallway where I try to take in the rest of the downstairs. I spot the kitchen, and what looks to be the living room before we stop and enter his office. I slow my stride, looking around and noticing how it’s set up. Against the back wall is a bank of windows, that I imagine let in a ton of natural light during the day. Along one whole wall are custom-made bookshelves that are housing his books and some older looking ones. On the opposite wall are pictures, but not just any pictures. Nope, there are book covers matted and framed like art; along the side are a few from home. It shocks me that he’d have pictures of Kingston Island here in his house. A man who disappeared from us all those years ago never forgot where he came from.

  Justin leans in, placing a kiss on my temple before stepping away. The sudden loss of his body next to mine causes a chill. Christina’s sitting in his chair behind the computer staring at the massive screen that takes up half the desk. She’s clicking the mouse, making a face that I can’t help but wonder what it would look like if her face actually moved. Did I mention that she’s older than both Justin and myself and doesn’t have one crease on her face? If I made a face right now, I’m sure it would reflect wrinkles on the forehead, creases around my mouth and eyes. My hand instantly touches the side of my face to feel around for said creases.

  “Come,” Justin says as he nods in his direction at me. I step around, standing next to him as I look over Christina’s head at the images across his screen. There are four concepts, but I can’t help but stare at the one in the middle. It’s breathtaking. In muted colors, all you see is marsh and water with fog filtering up from the bottom. In block letters the title is bold and white just like the rest of his books in the series have been. Justin’s name in thick red letters across the top showcasing his NY Times Bestselling Author title underneath. I can’t take my eyes off this one. The others are good, but this one screams mystery. It says Pick me up and read me. Not to mention, it gives me a sense of home. It’s almost as if the designer went to Kingston on a foggy morning and took this picture. In the faint of the background you can see a person. Like they’re walking on the water, but you can’t make out the legs. They’re half in and half out, as if the river has engulfed them in the mys
tery.

  “What do you think, Leslie?” Christina asks, breaking me from my thoughts.

  “Umm, well this one,” I say, pointing to the one I can’t stop looking at.

  “That’s the same one we picked. You have great taste,” she says in a tone that I’m not familiar with. One that’s never used back home.

  “I told you she was great,” Justin tells her as he nudges me in the shoulder. My head turns toward him, offering a gentle smile in return.

  “Since you own a bookstore, do you feel this is too dark for the crowd?”

  “No, it actually pulls you in. It’ll make them stop and pick it up. The reader’s going to want to see what’s happening in the background. It’ll work even in store windows.”

  “Well, I think my work is done here tonight. Justin, you just need to respond that you approve this one, and they’ll get the book in production. I’ll leave you two at it for the night. Oh, don’t forget you have your breakfast meeting in the morning.”

  “Thanks, Christina, and I’m aware.”

  I back away giving them space to finish up. I’m pulled to his shelves, running my fingers along the spines of the same books I’ve read over the last month. I stop when I spot his old Sherlock Holmes books. I remember back when we were younger how he’d curl up and read them over and over again. It’s no wonder he chose to be a mystery writer. He’s our modern day Sherlock Holmes. I continue down the rest of the way, only to stop again on a framed picture. I can’t help but pick it up and smile. It’s from before we graduated high school. It’s of him, Nan, and me in front of the bookstore.

  “Do you remember that day?” he asks as he wraps his arms around my waist and nuzzles his chin in the crook of my neck.

  “I do, it was the day you got your acceptance letter to Stanford. Nan was so proud of you. Do you know that every time a customer came in to buy one of your books, she’d gush about you nonstop? It was kind of embarrassing.”

  “For you or her?”

  “For me, I’d walk away shaking my head as she’d talk about how wonderful you were and stuff.”

  “You know she shaped me. That woman believed in me more than anyone else in this world. Not even my parents thought I could do it.”

  “I know; she’d always tell me how you were going to make a name for yourself.”

  “Every book I’ve written; it’s been for her. I wanted to make her proud, make each one better than the last.”

  “You do know she was proud; you didn’t have to prove anything to her.”

  “I know, but I still had to make a name and life for myself. I didn’t want my parents to have anything to do with this. I wanted to do this on my own. It would’ve been easy to just have my father pick up the phone and make a call. It’s always been like that. This had to be done the hard way. You have no idea how many rejection letters we received for the first book. I swore that the last one was going to be the last. It wasn’t until Christina told me to give it one more try that I got picked up. The first person I called was Nan.”

  “I didn’t know that. She never told me,” I say softy as I run my fingers across the glass of the picture I’m holding.

  “Because I made her promise to not talk about my life with you. I’d only ever ask if you were okay. I didn’t want to know how happy or unhappy you were, just that you were okay.”

  “What do you think would’ve happened if she did talk to me about you? What if she gave me pieces of your life? Do you think we would have found each other sooner?”

  “No, I don’t think about it. I think the two of us had to live as we did in order to find ourselves again.”

  I don’t respond to his last words; instead, I place the frame on the shelf and stand here in Justin’s arms. Taking in the way this feels different. Here it’s like I’m getting a whole new Justin. He’s in his world, his surroundings, and I’m the visitor this time around. No longer are we viewed as Justin and Leslie. Now, it’s Justin and I’m a stranger in this life.

  “Enough work for tonight, let’s get you settled.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Justin

  Opening the door tonight, that was the biggest surprise I’ve ever received. It topped everything in my life. I’ve never expected to answer and have her standing on the other side with a smile on her face. I can’t help but think what it would be like to come home to her embrace every night. Could we shuttle back and forth between here and Georgia? What would that kind of life be like? Would we do a few months there and then back here to California for a few? In reality, I don’t have to be here, but I have people who work for me here. This is home, and my career is settled in these roots.

  I watch as Leslie undresses in my bathroom as I sit on the edge of my bed. Embedding the vision of her in my space is something that I’ll hold onto for a lifetime. She seems comfortable in my space, not like a visitor unaware of her surroundings. I push up from the mattress and head toward her.

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “Sure,” she says as she shrugs and steps into my shower. Instead of giving her space, I rid myself of my clothes and follow in behind her.

  “I think you forgot to ask if you could join me,” she says as she puts her head under the water.

  “No, I’ll never ask to be next to you. Especially when you have this body on display for me.”

  “Are you trying to flatter me, Mr. Albott?”

  “Maybe. No, I want to know the truth about why you married Jack. You never talk about that part of your life; you only give cliff notes and move past it quickly.”

  “I just don’t like talking about him.”

  “I’ve just been curious, that’s all.”

  “Curious about what, Justin?”

  “I don’t know; just never thought you’d end up with a guy like him.”

  “Correction—I’ve not ended up with a guy like him. He was a speed bump.”

  “You know what I mean,” I say, but she laughs before responding.

  “I know, and if you want the truth, I’ll tell you.”

  “That’s all I ever want, Leslie.”

  “This is not shower conversation. Hurry up, I’m hungry,” she says as she slips behind me and out of the shower faster than I can blink. How did this turn so quickly? I watch as she dries off, and I finish up so I can join her. Standing here letting the water slide over me, I question if I truly want to know the answers to why she raced to Jack so fast. I can’t fight it any longer. I need to know if she thought it was over between us or was she trying to hide her heart from me.

  Entering my bedroom, I notice it’s empty. Quickly, I put on a pair of low hanging sweats and go in search of Leslie. Finding her in nothing but one of my t-shirts standing in front of the fridge, I clear my throat to get her attention.

  “You have nothing to eat.”

  “Menus are in the drawer next to you. I usually don’t cook just for myself; takeout is my friend.”

  “That’s just sad, Justin.”

  “No, what’s sad is that you don’t have Chinese takeout at home. You eat with Haddie way too much,” I tell her and watch as she opens the drawer. Pulling out the top menu, she slings it across the kitchen island at me. “Okay, Mr. Smarty Pants, order it up and show me what I’m missing.” I take her facial expression in, knowing that she means business. I step away, going back to the office to grab my cell phone. I don’t need the menu to order, I have it memorized. I hit the saved number for The Noodle Bowl and wait for them to answer.

  “Yes, this is Mr. Albott, I need to place a delivery order. Yes, that’s the correct address,” I say as I round the corner and face Leslie. “Two chicken Pad Thais, an order of spring rolls, and an order of dumplings. Yes, charge to my account.” I end the call, still holding her stare.

  “You have them on speed dial?”

  “Is that wrong?”

  “There’s all kinds of wrong with that, Justin. You need to cook more, it’s healthier for you.”

  “I’m usually not ho
me to cook, so when I need to eat I order in or toss something in the microwave.”

  “Just going on the record that it’s not healthy,” Leslie tells me as she leans across the counter putting her hands out for me to take.

  “Now, stop skirting around my question.”

  “I don’t know how to answer it. Honestly, I never thought of why.”

  “That’s bullshit, you not coming up with a plan of knowing what you’re doing?”

  “Fine, you want the truth, I’ll give it to you. I was at Skipper’s one night with Elliott and Haddie. We were talking and going over old times. Jack came in that night and pushed himself in our table. Elliott must have been talking about you, and Jack mentioned something about he heard you had a girlfriend. Elliott confirmed, and I kind of lost my shit that night when I got home. I knew it was time to get over you, and if you could move on, so could I. The next day Jack was in the store, and Nan thought it would be an amazing idea if we ventured to dinner. After that, it just flowed. We dated, you never came home, and he asked me to marry him. I thought, at the time, it was the right thing to do. You know, become a wife, a house maker, and maybe a mother. I just didn’t stop long enough to notice the person I was getting married to. In my mind, I thought he’d changed; thought that one day he would wake up and not be so restless.” She stops for a moment, glances down to the granite counter, and back up at me. “I wanted this perfect life. I wanted him to love me. I wanted to love him back, but I couldn’t. I’d get upset when he accused me of still loving you. Even when I confronted him of his affairs, he threw that in my face. We argued about you all the time. The day we got married, he’d texted me that morning to make sure I wanted to go through with it, asking me if I could give him an honest try at this. I agreed, and I failed. Now… now when I look back on it all, I know I helped in ending my marriage. Justin, I never stopped loving you. I just tried to cover it up. I compared everything between the two of you. I’d watch your interviews and wonder what it would be like to stand on the sidelines. If I would be enough for you. One day, I woke up with Jack next to me; I knew that day that I wasn’t enough for him nor would I be enough for him. He wanted me to be someone different, someone that I wasn’t. Then Elliott told me about more rumors and showed me a picture of him and some girl. That was it, I took my out. In a way, I loved Jack. In a strange way, I thought we would grow old together. Whether we would be happy or not, it wasn’t important all of a sudden. I was getting older, and I wanted a family. Jack could provide me that. So I gave it a go. Tried to be the perfect housewife, burying my heart so deep that it took me years to find it again. When Nan passed, I thought I could continue. It wasn’t until the reading of her will that I woke up. I mean, I woke up and saw what my life was. I didn’t want that anymore. I made a promise to myself to get out of it. Even if I grew old and restless alone, it would be my life to live. I was no longer going to live, breath, or do anything that was solely dependent on Jack.”