Second Thoughts

by Jade Winters

  “Jesus Christ, Mel, Just ’cause you’re on the go twenty-four-seven doesn’t mean the rest of us sane people are.” She flung the door back and turned, walking slowly down the hallway.

  “How are you this morning?”

  Faye stopped, turned around and looked at her as if she had gone insane. “How am...How am I? How the bloody hell do you think? Good to see you looking fresh and breezy though...oh yeah that’s because you left early.”

  Faye had done a lot of stupid impulsive things but this one was the worst yet. Bringing Sara back into her life could have serious repercussions. She tried to keep the anger out of her voice when she spoke.

  “Why didn’t you tell me she was coming back?”

  Faye frowned. “Who?”

  “Don’t play coy with me, Faye. Sara. Why didn’t you tell me you’d invited her?”

  “Because I didn’t know for sure. She didn’t reply so I assumed she wasn’t coming.”

  “It’s really out of order you know. You should have asked me first.”

  “I’m sorry, but I thought you might want to see her again.”

  Melissa looked at her dumbstruck. She couldn’t tell if she was being serious or taking the piss. Why would she want to see the woman who had chewed her up and spat her out? “What on earth gave you that idea, especially after the way we broke up?”

  “I dunno. At the time it seemed like a good idea. Lay old ghosts to rest sort of thing.”

  “Jesus, Faye, that wasn’t your call. I’ve come to terms with our break-up. The last thing I need is to be raking it up again. I had to tell Bettina about her this morning.”

  “And what? As much as Bettina hates to acknowledge it, you did have a life before you met her. And had sex with a hot babe,” she said with a wicked grin. “Now I’m up, I’m gonna have a shower. Make us a coffee please.”

  Melissa walked into the narrow kitchen and switched the kettle on. Quickly making Faye’s coffee, she waited in the adjoining living room until Faye joined her wearing shorts and a t-shirt, rubbing a towel over her hair.

  “So what were you two talking about all night?” Melissa asked, trying to keep her voice level.

  “This and that. Nothing in particular.” She dropped dramatically onto the wide leather sofa.

  Melissa picked up a cushion and playfully threw it at her. “Er you’d better do better than that, after pulling the rug from under my world.”

  “Do I detect a bit of paranoia in your voice?” Faye laughed as she caught the cushion and placed it behind her head.

  Melissa’s eyes widened. “Are you crazy? Don’t be silly. What would I have to be paranoid about?”

  “Melissa, I know you. What’s up?” Faye’s eyebrows shot up a fraction, her bloodshot eyes scrutinising Melissa’s face. “You still got the hots for her?” She jerked up into a sitting position when Melissa remained silent. “You’re fucking kidding me! I knew it. See, how can you marry Bettina when you’ve still got the hots for your ex?”

  Melissa stood and walked over to the window, keeping her back to Faye. “For your information, I don’t have the hots for her. Bettina is my life now.”

  “Right, so does that mean you’re not going see Sara again?”

  She leaned her forehead against the cold glass pane. “No, I’m not.” She tried to ignore the tightening in her stomach. She might not have any control over the way her body reacted to Sara, but she had control of her mind, and she was not about to let it loose like a runaway train. “I don’t think me seeing Sara socially would go down well with Bettina do you?”

  Faye reached for her coffee on the table in front of her. “In that case, you won’t be interested in meeting up with me tomorrow night?”

  Forcing a smile onto her lips, Melissa turned. “Why? What you got planned now?”

  Faye grinned. “A night on the Thames with Sara.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Melissa strode into Scott’s small print shop, gently closing the door behind her. Her eyes took in the rows of printed t-shirts and posters hanging on the wall but her mind was still on her conversation with Faye. That Faye and Sara were going out together was nothing unusual – they’d all been good friends at university. What did bother her was the fact that Faye was being so secretive about what they had discussed. From what she remembered, Sara and Faye had their heads together for hours and they didn’t look like they were talking about the weather.

  She smiled at Scott as he looked up from the computer screen he was hovering over. It was strange thinking of her dad’s best friend as Eli’s partner.

  When Eli had reconnected with Scott at her parent’s funeral Melissa had never imagined that the two of them would ever be more than just friends. Not only was Scott mourning the loss of two of his best friends but also the demise of his thirty-year marriage. Melissa was surprised when, what started between them as a place of solace and comfort between two lost souls, had blossomed into a passionate affair despite the twenty year age gap.

  “Melissa,” Scott said as he moved around the counter dressed casually in dark blue jeans and a white shirt. She could smell the sour odour of whiskey on his breath as he leant down and kissed her cheek, his morning stubble prickling her skin. “I didn’t think you’d be here so early, what after having a late night and everything.”

  She looked up into his almond-shaped eyes. Did Scott know something about Sara? Was her guilt that obvious? Common sense told her she was being paranoid, that Scott was just being his usual friendly self, but she couldn’t help but wonder.

  “The party wasn’t as boisterous as I thought it was going to be,” she murmured. She saw Sara in her mind’s eye, the image so vivid she could have been standing right there in front of her.

  “So, not long now before your big day. I can tell you Eli is beside herself with excitement, as am I.”

  Melissa rubbed her forehead, forcing herself to banish the thoughts of Sara from her mind and focus on what Scott was saying. “Um yes. I can’t wait.”

  He leaned his back against the counter. “I hope you’ll tell me if I’m over-stepping the mark here.” He tapped his chin with his finger as his eyes weighed her up. “But it seems to me that you aren’t that involved with your wedding preparations.”

  Melissa smiled. “I appreciate your concern Scott, but it’s fine, really. Wedding planning isn’t my thing if I’m honest. I find it rather boring. I’d just get in the way.”

  “You’re so much like your mother. She couldn’t abide all that girly stuff either.”

  Melissa glanced down at her hands. Everyone always commented on how alike she was to her mother but if truth be known she was closer to her father. She always had the feeling her mother regretted having her. She couldn’t put her finger on why, but sometimes she would catch her staring at her with a sadness that was hard to miss. Perhaps that’s why she looked for the security she lacked in Bettina.

  “It’s hard not having my parents around. Especially at a time like this. It’s as if I can’t immerse myself into the whole wedding thing without feeling a deep sense of sadness.”

  “I know, dear, I know. As you’re aware I lost my parents at a young age. It can have a devastating effect on a person’s life. Just know that I’m here for you, Melissa. Always.”

  Scott’s eyes grew misty. For a second she thought he was going to cry. Instead he cleared his throat. The moment between them broken.

  “Anyway, back to business. The menus are all ready. If you need another run give me a bell.”

  “I will do.”

  A door behind the counter opened and a teenager with unruly red hair walked in carrying a box. The baggy faded jeans he wore hung loose around his waist.

  “Ah, here’s Luke now,” he said taking the box from the boy, withdrawing a couple of menus and handing them to Melissa. “I can’t wait to come and try out your chilli hot chocolate.”

  She toyed with the ends of her hair as she scanned the menu. It had taken her two months of trying every combination
of coffee with different flavours until she’d found the right concoction. As she had used them as her guinea pigs, Bettina and Eli had sworn blind they’d never drink another coffee as long as they lived.

  Satisfied there weren’t any mistakes with names, or ingredients, she looked up at him with a smile. “Drop by whenever you like. It’ll be on the house. I just hope everyone else is going to be as open-minded as you.”

  “I’m sure they will. Is everything okay with the design?”

  “Yes, perfect. I’d better make a move and put these out on display.”

  “See you at lunch then.”

  Scott gave her shoulder a quick squeeze before she turned to leave. Reaching her car she fished her phone out of her pocket as it began to ring. Glancing down at the small screen, she didn’t recognise the telephone number. That wasn’t unusual; it could be anyone from her suppliers to one of her customers.

  “Hello,” she said cheerfully.

  “Missy, it’s Sara.”

  She hesitated. How was it possible that it only took her voice to electrify her? “Sara?”

  “I got your number from Faye. I hope you don’t mind me calling.”

  Her hand squeezed the keys she was holding, until she felt the metal imprinting on the softness of her skin. “No, of course not. How’re you doing?”

  “To be honest I’m feeling a bit in limbo today. I was wondering if you want to meet up for a coffee.”

  Melissa’s throat constricted. “When?”

  “How about now?”

  A long pause ensued as Melissa’s lips struggled to form the words she knew she should be saying. “I...I...”

  Melissa heard Sara exhale down the line. “I don’t bite, you should know that.”

  “I don’t know, Sara.” Melissa swallowed hard. What if Bettina found out about them meeting up? She wouldn’t like it one little bit. But if she didn’t get her out of her system things could get a lot worse. What you resist persists.

  “Oh come on. I travelled all this way to see you and we’ve barely spoken. Come to my hotel for a drink,” Sara’s voice cajoled smoothly over the phone.

  When she eventually spoke again, common sense had become a distant memory. Maybe if she met up with her in the cold light of day her feelings would become clear. Were they a reality or a fantasy she’d made up in her head? There was only one way to find out. “Okay, but it will have to be in an hour or so. I’ve got a few things to do first. And Sara, just one coffee, then I’m leaving.”

  “Whatever you say. I’m at the Flynn Hotel along the River Thames. I’ll text you the address.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Bettina put her phone down on the table. I bet she’s with Sara. Though she hoped it wasn’t true, there was no other explanation. Why else would she have her phone switched off? She felt powerless – as if she were on a plane in a nose dive, just waiting for the inevitable.

  She turned to Eli and Scott who sat next to each other as if they were strangers on a train, which was odd seeing as they normally acted like teenage love birds. Perhaps they’ve been arguing.

  Eli met her eyes and for the first time Bettina noticed the red rim around them, as if she’d been crying all night. “Are you okay?” she mouthed to her as Scott turned his attention to the Sunday paper.

  Eli’s jaw tightened as she nodded. “Are you?” she mouthed back.

  Bettina smiled trying to act as if she didn’t have a care in the world despite feeling like everything was falling apart around her. Twenty-four hours ago, things were going according to plan and now – she was waiting for the storm she knew was on its way.

  “Melissa’s phone’s still turned off.” She bit the inside of her cheek. Why the hell had that woman returned when she was so close to achieving everything she wanted with Melissa? Was this karma coming back to bite her on the behind?

  Scott looked up and smiled at her sympathetically. “I’m sure it’s nothing serious. She most probably got an onslaught of customers wanting to try out her new coffee range.”

  “I’ve called the shop. No one’s picking up in the office,” she said lightly. “Shall we tuck in? I’m sure she’ll be back any minute.” She gestured for them to eat, reaching over to fill their glasses with ice water.

  “So bride-to-be, are you getting nervous about your big day,” Scott asked, putting the paper to one side before piling salad onto his plate and looking at her with a grin.

  Bettina stabbed a piece of chicken and bit into it, chewing it slowly before finally speaking. “You know I always thought I would. But I’m not in the slightest. I can’t wait for it to all be over if I’m honest.” Especially now Sara was back. If Sara had told Melissa the truth there might not be a wedding taking place at all.

  Scott rested his knife and fork on his plate. “So now the hen nights are over, no more partying for you two aye?”

  Her head thumped as she tried to keep her composure. She didn’t want Eli and Scott to be aware of the upcoming bomb that was about to explode in her face. “Definitely not. Those days are well and truly over for us. I’d feel like a teacher at a school dance. All the women in the bars today are so young.”

  Scott leaned back in his seat. “You’re not quite a dinosaur yet, Bettina.”

  “Well it certainly feels that way sometimes.”

  He smiled at her. “Eli said they all had a great time at the hen do. I’m sure Melissa isn’t quite ready to trade her party shoes for slippers.” He chuckled.

  “I’m afraid that’s not debatable. She’s going to have to be a lot more responsible when the baby arrives.” Panic gripped her. If Melissa found out the truth was she even going to come home?

  Bettina picked up her phone again and pressed redial. “And that includes making sure I can contact her.” Her face turned into a scowl. “I’ve lost count how many times I’ve told her to make sure her phone is charged. Honestly, it’s like dealing with a child sometimes.”

  Eli pushed back her chair and stood. “I’m sorry Bettina; I’m going to have to go home. I’m not feeling too well.”

  “You should have said. Would you like some Alka Seltzer? I think I’ve got some in the cupboard.”

  “No... I think I just need to lie down for a while.”

  Bettina cocked her head. “You can always use the guest room if you like.”

  Eli shook her head. “I’ve got too much on my mind at the moment. I need to be at home.”

  “Has something happened?” she asked, looking first at Eli then at Scott.

  The core of his body was erect and his face was suddenly pale as he jumped to his feet. “No, everything’s fine. Eli’s right. She just needs to rest.”

  “You know you can always talk to me Eli–”

  Eli smiled faintly. “No. Like Scott said, I’m just tired. I shouldn’t have drank so much yesterday. Tell Melissa I’ll call her tomorrow. I’m sorry you went to all this effort for nothing.”

  They bypassed Bettina, kissing her on the cheek before leaving. Bettina glanced at the half empty plates. What on earth was all that about? she wondered as she gulped a large mouthful of the water. She wished Melissa would hurry home – one way or another she needed to know what the future held for them now Sara was back.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Sara’s diaphragm spasmed as she watched Melissa alight from her car and hand the valet her keys. She couldn’t believe Melissa was actually there in the flesh. It still felt like a dream.

  She kept her eyes trained on Melissa as she walked confidently towards the hotel’s entrance. As she reached the sliding glass doors, Sara walked through them to meet her.

  Sara reached out and hugged her, enjoying the firmness of Melissa’s body. Reluctantly, after a few seconds, she withdrew her arms and stepped back. “You look beautiful.”

  A small laugh escaped Melissa’s lips, her flawless cheeks turning crimson. “I wouldn’t go that far.”

  Sara opened her mouth to speak, then closed it abruptly. She didn’t know how to frame the nex
t question without it sounding as if she was coming on too strong. She wanted to speak to Melissa alone, without any distractions, and there was only one place that she could do that.

  She finally settled on something that sounded plausible. “Do you mind if we have a drink in my room. I’m waiting for a call from the US.” She laughed when she saw a look of doubt flicker on Melissa’s face. “I swear to God I’m not going to jump you as soon as we’re alone.”

  “I never said...”

  A faint smile curved Sara’s lips. “You didn’t have to. Your face said it all. Come on,” she enthused. “My dad footed the bill for my stay here. You’ve got to see how cool the steam shower is.” She realised she’d stuck her foot in her mouth when she saw Melissa’s jaw tense. Though the memories of their showers together still gave her goose pimples, it was obvious that their last encounter was the one that was stuck in Melissa’s mind – or rather what happened afterwards.

  “I’ll come up with you Sara, but only for coffee.”

  Sara held her hands up in a gesture of surrender. “Okay, okay. Message received loud and clear.”

  “Good.” Melissa smiled brightly as she reached into her pocket and switched her phone off.

  Minutes later they sat in Sara’s modest but tastefully decorated hotel room. Melissa lowered herself onto one of the lime-coloured leather chairs while Sara made coffee. Handing it to her, she sat opposite on the edge of the bed.

  “I can’t believe you haven’t changed a bit.” Sara eyed Melissa as she sipped the coffee and leaned over to place it on the table.

  Melissa looked doubtful. “I feel like I’ve aged a hundred years.”

  “Not even a year. You look exactly the same even with your hair shorter.” Her heart thundering in her chest, Sara instinctively reached over to brush Melissa’s hair away from her face. Their eyes locked for several seconds before Melissa leaned away slightly, causing Sara to snatch her hand back.

  “I can’t believe we hardly spoke yesterday. There’s so much I want to know.”