by Anne Leigh
“Why do you not say anything about the people I date?” I asked. I had been meaning to ask him this but there never seemed to be the right time.
“Is this about that guy, Zander?” He saw the picture on the website because his buddy sent it to him after recognizing me in it.
“Not really. It’s just about the people I date, in general. I make comments about the girls you date. Why don’t you make comments about my dates?”
“Ace, you’ve only dated 2 guys. It’s not like you have a massive collection of dates that I can critique. Plus, I don’t make comments because you have to figure it out,” he simply said.
“Figure what out?” I looked towards him but the reflection of the sky in the water was causing a glare that it hurt my eyes to look at him directly so I looked away.
His voice clear, “In life, maybe in love, things don’t fall in black and white checkboxes.”
“What do you mean?” I was confused. In our more than 12-year friendship, I knew this was one of those key and extremely rare moments when he was trying to convey a life lesson.
“Ace, exploring the gray areas in life is what brings it color. It may lead to happiness. Life’s not all black and white. Things or people don’t always have to fit in a plan or a schedule.”
He was an introspective guy. One of his many admirable and endearing qualities.
“Ohh-kaay. Are you saying that there’s something wrong with planning? And, what does this have to do with you not making any comments about guys I date?”
His voice solemn, I swam closer to him because the sound of the waves on the shore was disrupting my hearing. “Ace, I love you. You’re the sister I never had. I will always protect you. But I can’t experience life for you. If you date a guy, it means you must have seen something in him that you like. I don’t comment because I want you to decide for yourself whether he’s right for you,” his brown-eyed gaze focused on me.
My vision started blurring, “Do you think there’s something wrong with me? I mean, I gave a guy a chance and look at what happened. Maybe, it’s because I’m too young or too inexperienced. Maybe guys don’t like that.”
With angry eyes, he faced me, “Don’t think every guy is going to be like that asshole, Brennan. He’s a stupid scumbag. He didn’t deserve you. I should have said something from the beginning. He was my friend. I knew he was going to make a play on you once you turned 18. I honestly thought he had changed when he met you and he wasn’t going to play around. That’s why I didn’t say anything. Obviously, I was wrong.”
It wasn’t Kieran’s fault that Brennan became my boyfriend. I first met him at Kieran’s house when I was 15; Brennan was 18 at that time. He thought I was Kieran’s younger sister since I was always around Kieran. Brennan and Kieran attended the same all-boys high school.
The years went by, I saw Brennan time and time again. It was purely coincidental that the three of us ended up going to school in San Francisco. Brennan asked me out on a couple of dates and last year, he asked me to be his girlfriend, I said ‘yes’ before I could even tell Kieran because I liked how Brennan made me feel. He made me feel like a girl. When Kieran found out that Brennan and I were officially dating, he did not say anything about it. Something must have happened between the two of them because every time Brennan was around, Kieran went scarce.
“Kieran, it’s not your fault that it didn’t work out with Brennan.” Maybe it was mine. I did not put out. It was unspoken; however, the look on my face must have clued him into what I was thinking.
“Oh Ace, c’mere,” he stopped gliding in the water and started swimming towards me. He wrapped his right arm around me; our feet waded in the water. There was no malice between us. I could be in my bikini or underwear and he could still hug me and I’d feel safe.
“There’s nothing wrong with you. But I just hope that you’ll give other guys a chance too. Just because Brennan did that, doesn’t mean other guys are like that. You got to give people a chance to know you. You gave me a chance, right? ” he said.
The day I found out Brennan was cheating, I ran to Nalee and Tanya because I knew that if I told Kieran, he would probably have driven out to Brennan’s place and beaten him to a pulp. Nalee and Tanya must have mentioned the “cheating” part to Kieran because I never told him.
“Kieran, thank you for being here, there, and everywhere for me. Sometimes, I feel like I’m not good enough for anybody. I know I have weird quirks. And I’m closed off. I don’t think anyone will ever understand me the way you, Nalee, and Tanya do.”
A long, companionable silence stretched between us. The water was getting chillier by the minute. I was ready to head back to shore.
Kieran still had something to say, “Ace, you’re more than good enough. Look at yourself. You’re gorgeous, smart, and you got some kick-ass legs. The ‘kick-ass part’ is from Duncan.” Duncan was one of his swimming buddies in campus. He was a very good-looking Swedish-Russian guy, who always winked at me when I watched Kieran’s practices.
He continued, “My point is, you have to give people a chance to know you. You didn’t know me before. You didn’t know Nalee or Tanya before. But you gave us all a chance and now we have a great friendship. Any guy would be lucky to have you.”
“I might’ve met someone special but I think I blew it,” my voice wandering off into the distance.
“Well, maybe next time you meet someone special, you can let the possibility flow between you and him. You’re special. A guy has to be pretty damned special too to have you. I know because I’m extraordinary so I got an extraordinary best friend.” Those cocky comments were unique to Kieran. He might carry a boatload of confidence but he always spoke the truth.
Chapter Five
“Beauty lies in your eyes. Look at the world with optimism; you will see just how beautiful it is.”
Sedona
Friday night.
Kieran had invited me to attend the College Sports Awards Night with him. It was a last-minute invite. His parents canceled the previous day because his younger brother suffered a concussion during a basketball game so they were unable to make the trip from L.A. to San Francisco. Nalee was also attending the event with me since Kieran had two tickets available.
Kieran had already made me promise not to try and beg him to go home before my bedtime. I conceded because it didn't happen too often that your best friend gets nominated for a prestigious Sportsman of the Year award.
Nalee's petite beauty, with her new pixie haircut, stood out in the little, black dress she was wearing. Her hazel eyes shone and she looked beautiful. Looking at her, I could not help but wonder how Jerome could be such an ass. She was such a sweetheart and in Tanya’s words, "Her heart is bigger than her boobs!" Nalee was very conscious of her 36C breasts because men tended to look at her chest first before her face. She really had a big heart.
I donned a simple, beige blouse with cutout sleeves and paired it with black, silk slacks. Nalee helped me pull of a side ponytail look with soft curls, framing my face.
When Kieran picked us up, he let out a whistle and exclaimed how lucky he was to be attending the ceremony with hotties on both of his arms.
The event was held at a prestigious ballroom club in San Francisco. The invites stated that 100 people attend each year. Could there be that many college athletes in my school? As I looked around, it actually looked more like 200 people were attending this event.
The mood was light and casual. We were seated with 2 baseball players and their parents. They were pleasant to talk to and one of the baseball players was flirting with Nalee. Nalee probably had no clue because she thought everyone was just being friendly with her.
While Kieran was busy mingling with people he knew, I went to the bar and ordered an apple mojito.
I was reaching for $10 in my purse when someone said, "I got it."
Oh my. Clad in a black classic suit, Zander stood a couple of inches away from me. He looked so good!
His intense ga
ze landed on me, as he handed the cash to the bartender.
I handed my money to him. He closed his hand on mine.
"No, my treat,” he smiled. The full effect of his shimmering eyes and his mega-watt smile brought my heart to a thud. I was at a loss for words. Or equations.
People were behind us waiting to give their orders to the bartender so I stepped to the side, holding my drink on my right hand.
"I should probably be the one treating you. I saw your name on the program, you’re also up for the Sportsman of the Year award, even if you won it last year, according to the people in my table. "I sent flickering glances his way.
My heart was still trying to get back to its normal rhythm. If I stole another glance at his yumminess, I would not be able to think straight.
"It's my treat because I'm feeling lucky tonight," he said.
"Oh?"
"Yes, I feel lucky because you're here." His piercing gaze seared into me. How in the world did I resist this man?
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kieran, in his dark green suit, walking towards me.
"Ace, I've been looking for you." Kieran approached me on my side and touched my arm.
I smiled at him and said, "I was just getting a drink at the bar," slowly waving my apple mojito in the air.
Zander's gaze flicked back and forth between Kieran and me. How remiss of me!
"Kieran, this is Zander," I gestured towards Zander, "Zander, this is Kieran."
Zander's look was unflinchingly steady. I noticed a muscle tic in his left jaw. I got the impression that a tic on his facial muscles meant bad news.
His voice was deceptively calm when he spoke and extended his hand to Kieran, "Nice to meet you. I didn't realize you were with Sedona."
I was about to say, "He’s my friend," when Zander continued, "Listen, I'm sorry, I gotta head back to my table. It was nice to see you here, Sedona." His footsteps were hurried as he walked away from Kieran and me.
"Hmm, so that's Mr. Football Wunderkid," Kieran said.
I didn't answer him. I wondered why Zander walked off? That was weird.
We heard an overhead announcement across the room, "Ladies and gentlemen, please return to your seats. We will be starting with our schedule shortly." That was our cue to go back to our table.
The rest of the night passed in a blur. I saw Zander, but he was always mingling with other people. He had no shortage of female admirers. Women of all shapes, sizes, and hair color flocked to his table. I knew I told him I wasn’t ready for dating or anything like that. So, he moved on to his ardent female admirers. It just sucked to see him laughing and flirting with all these women.
A baseball player won the Sportsman of the Year award. Nalee and I talked about how proud we were of Kieran as he drove us home. Kieran, in all his cockiness, said that the baseball player won because he was the Dean's grandchild. I had no inkling of that baseball player’s relationship with the Dean or if it had anything to do with his win. I just knew for sure that Kieran hated to lose, at anything.
It was almost 1 AM when we got home. I didn't receive any texts from Zander. The last time I saw him was 3 weeks ago and that was when I told him I wasn’t ready for anything. However, every single night since then, he had texted me. Just a simple, ‘Nite’ or ‘Sleep tight’. His texts made me think that he was waiting for me, until I was ready.
Seeing him tonight made me think of him again. It awakened my thoughts and desires to maybe pursue this attraction between us.
The way he left after Kieran showed up bothered me so, I texted him;
Congrats on your nomination 2nite! It was nice seeing you again.
I fell asleep waiting for his response.
*****
Two days after the awards ceremony, Kieran and I were eating a very late lunch at our favorite Chinese restaurant. He was busy scrolling through his phone when Mrs. Wei, the owner, came up to greet us.
"It’s nice to see you here, pretty eyes.” She had called me ‘pretty eyes’ from the very first time Kieran and I discovered this place. I thought it was so cute the way she said it so the name stuck.
I smiled at her and she said, “Mr. Kieran is too busy, huh?” Noticing that Kieran was on his phone and not conversing with me.
“Yes, I think he has a couple of e-mails to answer,” I answered for him. Kieran glanced up and smiled at the both of us.
Mrs. Wei was a charming Asian lady who owned the place with her husband. She was also a hands-on owner and was very friendly to the staff and customers. She always took the time to chat with everybody.
Kieran was still busy responding to e-mails when our orders arrived. When our server placed our orders of Cashew Chicken and Kung Pao on the table, he set his phone aside. He started removing the hot chili peppers from the Kung Pao chicken. I hated the hot chili peppers, especially when I unexpectedly bit into them, so Kieran always took them out.
The orange chicken and sweet and sour shrimp plates were also brought to our table. Kieran moved the shrimp dish to his side. I was allergic to shrimp so he was the only one who ate the dish.
We were in the middle of talking about our upcoming schedules, when my phone pinged from my purse. I normally let it go, especially when I was eating. Kieran signaled me to check it.
Nalee: Check ChattyPepper.com now!
Kieran saw the change in my expression, he asked, “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. Nalee wants me to check that Chatty Pepper gossip website now.” I put my phone back in my purse. It pinged again.
Tanya: You gotta check ChattyPepper.com
“Now what?” Kieran asked again.
“It’s Tanya, she said to check that Chatty Pepper site. What is it with that site?” I resumed eating the cashew chicken on my plate. Kieran picked up his phone.
“Oh,” he said as his gaze landed on mine.
“Now what?” It was my turn to ask. So much for eating. Too many interruptions were going on.
He handed me his phone. My heart dropped when I saw the screen. There were two images juxtaposed against each other. The first picture was of me in my light yellow bikini and Kieran in his trunks. We were at the beach; we both had sunglasses on, his left arm wrapped around my shoulder. This must have been taken a few weeks back during semester break. The second image showed Kieran in his dark, green suit smiling at me. This was obviously taken at the awards gala.
Under the picture, the words “Mighty Z’s girl seen with our swim SEX-sation, Kieran” were displayed. A short paragraph described Kieran as ‘hot and hunky’ and a love triangle between Zander, Kieran, and I was insinuated by the writer.
I felt suffocated, violated. I was in my bikini, spending time with my best friend, and someone took a picture of us to put it up in a sleazy gossip website, without my permission! I lost my appetite. Kieran saw my face getting paler.
“Ace, it’s no big deal. These people have nothing else to do,” His voice calm but his eyes were anything but. He was tamping down his rising anger.
I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream at the writer. I wanted to tear down this website.
“I don’t know what to do.” I was livid with anger and mortification. Who were these people? What right did they have to take pictures of us? Or, better yet, why did people even care what I was doing?
“You can have this ruin your day or ignore it. Listen, I’ll talk to my dad to see what we can do against the site,” Kieran’s dad was a lawyer. He would know if we could file any legal action against the website or maybe just have our pictures taken down.
As upset as I was, for some strange, unknown reason, my thoughts drifted off to Zander. Was that why Zander acted weird that awards night? Did he think Kieran and I were together? Why didn’t he ask me? As silly as it sounded, I wanted to go to Zander and explain. But then again, what would I explain to him? I was probably the furthest thing on his mind. He had dozens of women waiting by the sidelines.
I decided to do nothing. Nothing was probably for t
he best. Nothing left a hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Zander
She told me she was not ready for anything.
Not ready, my ass.
John sent me a pic from that Chatty Pepper website. Who the fuck were these people anyways?
I was sitting on a metal bench in the locker room, stretching and warming up for football practice.
