by Kate McLay
"I've seen trees looser than you," said Hannah. "Big giant oaks with less knots." She moved from one shoulder to the other, really putting her weight into it. "Besides, you should be blessed. The girls at Brexton loved my massages."
"Brexton?" That was the name of Alyssa's alma mater. It was small enough that she should have known if Hannah had attended the tiny college. "That's where I went."
Hannah laughed a little. "I only survived a year. College wasn't exactly my game." She hit a particularly sensitive knot and Alyssa hissed in pain. Then Hannah laid off, just rubbing her hands back and forth over Alyssa's spine, the motion meant more for comfort than to release tension.
"That's too bad, maybe we could have been friends earlier." Knowing that she could have met Hannah four years ago gave Alyssa the strangest sense of regret and longing. How could she retroactively miss someone who was sitting right next to her?
Hannah traced circles along her roommate's back and Alyssa barely kept herself from shivering. That touch was doing strange things to her, making her tight and wet in ways she didn't understand or know how to deal with.
"So what was it like being straight there? How did you find anyone to date?" Hannah asked it like she didn't know that more than half the student population was straight. But it was an attitude that she'd heard from plenty of people.
Normally Alyssa just laughed it off. There was no reason to reveal personal, private details about her own life. People used the most minuscule facts to judge. It didn't matter whether she'd dated a hundred boys or none, they always found a way to place the fault, as if there were anything wrong with it, squarely on her shoulders. So Alyssa usually chose not to answer, letting her interlocutors draw their own conclusion. But this was Hannah, not some stranger. So Alyssa opened up.
"I didn't date in college." It felt like a bombshell and Hannah's hands did freeze in place for about three seconds. But she started moving almost immediately and there was no dramatic gasp as the revelation echoed through the room.
"High school boyfriend back home?" Hannah guessed.
And if Alyssa ever gave the first fact out, she never revealed the second. No one knew what to do with a twenty-three year old like her. "Um, not exactly," she said. "I didn't really date in high school either."
This time Hannah's hands did freeze, her fingertips resting lightly over her shoulder blades. "Are you a virgin?"
Chapter Twelve
Okay, so she didn't mean for it to come out like that. And she didn't mean to freeze up. But it shocked Hannah just a little. After all, she'd hooked up with her first girlfriend back in high school. And the first of her two doomed relationships with boys had been consummated right after her dad died when she was seventeen. The idea that a cute, funny girl like Alyssa could make it all the way through high school and college without sex seemed wrong.
God, she wanted to see Alyssa open up under her, watch her face as pleasure blossomed for the first time. It was an experience meant to be shared, and she was growing more desperate by the minute to share it.
Ever since that night at the club, this little inconvenient crush had been growing and growing. Now it seemed that there wasn't an hour that went by where Hannah didn't think of Alyssa in some way. She was growing obsessed. She'd see a necklace or a pair of earrings that would look great on her, or almost buy a snack when she picked up a coffee, just to have something to give her, just to see her smile.
Her shock was keeping her too quiet. Hannah had to say something, otherwise Alyssa was going to get up and leave, and Hannah didn't want that. "How'd that happen?" she asked. "Or not happen, I guess."
Alyssa's muscles relaxed a little as Hannah started stroking her again. She almost regretted the massage, it was making her yearn for things that she could not have. Not from this girl.
"I don’t know, it just sort of did," said Alyssa. "I guess I was so busy in high school that I didn't have time for a boyfriend. I mean, I wasn't going to... you know... I'm — my family is super religious. My mom would have..." she trailed off with a little laugh before continuing. Hannah didn't need her to elaborate to understand the issues with her family. "Anyway, there wasn't ever any boy that made it seem worth the trouble or the risk. And college – well, girl's school. No one for me there!" Her voice jumped up an entire octave on 'there.'
"It's not like men didn't live in town!" Brexton wasn't exactly a party school, but even the straight girls knew how to have fun.
Hannah could almost hear Alyssa roll her eyes, but what she said next was so completely unexpected that it took several seconds for it to register. "If you care so much, maybe you should be the one to do it with me."
There was stunned, and then there was whatever Hannah was feeling at that moment. From the few weeks she'd known Alyssa, she couldn't believe that she'd even joke about lesbian sex. Let alone offer the joke like a dare. But Hannah didn't want it to be a dare, and she didn't want Alyssa to take the words back.
Until that moment, she'd been highly conscious of where her hands were placed. She didn't want to freak Alyssa out. But right then she let her fingers drift lower until her fingertips brushed right over the swell of Alyssa's ass and her thumb burrowed under her shirt. "Maybe I should," she agreed, her voice breathy.
"How would it even work? What would you do to me?" Alyssa asked, voice low. She was a mix of scared, aroused, and curious.
Hannah recognized the tone because she felt the exact same way. Fire zinged through her veins at the question. "It's not a matter of to you," she said, letting her fingers draw lazy circles in the skin of her back. "It's what I'd do for you, what I'd do with you." She traced her fingers up under Alyssa's shirt, hiking it up and exposing her pale, freckled skin. Hannah's fingers crept around toward one side of Alyssa's body, not quite touching her breast, but so close that the slightest movement would bring her fingertips into contact with the tender flesh.
Alyssa turned toward the touch and sucked in a breath when Hannah's fingers scraped across the edge of her nipple. It hardened under Hannah's touch, stiffening into a taut peak. "I want you." Alyssa licked her lips and her cheeks turned bright red, catching her bottom lip under her teeth. "I want you to touch me." It was quiet enough that they could have heard a pin drop, and somehow Alyssa's voice was even quieter still. But it scorched through Hannah, louder than an L train.
All thoughts of not wanting a so-called straight girl flew from her head. She didn't care about how her previous relationship ended when Alyssa was laying in front of her, begging to be touched. Yes, it might complicate things, but life was complicated, and her feelings for Alyssa were absolutely true. Had she ever wanted anyone as much as she wanted Alyssa? Hannah didn't think so.
"Take your shirt off," she gently commanded.
Alyssa took a moment, steeling her shoulders before reaching down and carefully lifting the fabric up over her head. She had to push herself off the floor a little to get it off, but she immediately returned to lying flat on her stomach, not giving Hannah the chance to see her breasts.
It was time to fix that.
"Turn over," Hannah said. This was the moment of truth. Alyssa could easily tuck tail and run back to her room, leaving Hannah out here by herself. That fear niggled at the back of her mind while the moments dragged out.
Slowly, interminably slowly, Alyssa reached out one hand and then another, spreading her fingers out on the floor and leaning into them. But she didn't turn, not yet. A part of Hannah wanted to push her over, help her over this hurdle. But she couldn't do that. Pushing was a surefire way to scare this girl away.
Somewhere in her mind, Alyssa screwed up the courage and turned over, laying face up in front of Hannah, naked and waiting.
Chapter Thirteen
There was probably a sane, safe girl hiding inside of Alyssa at the moment. But she was hiding so well that Alyssa couldn't find the courage to run away. Was it courage? Or was it courage to flip herself over and lie practically naked in front of her roommate after asking, practic
ally begging, for sex?
If Hannah hadn't touched her, maybe this storm churning inside wouldn't have taken her over. If Hannah hadn't asked about her past, maybe Alyssa could have found her calm. But Hannah had done both of those things, and Alyssa had made the crazy proposal.
She wanted Hannah. She'd wanted Hannah for a while now. And she could figure out the labels later. Whether this made her gay or bi or just curious, all she knew was that she wanted Alyssa's hands - and lips - on her tonight. Whatever happened after that would happen.
But Hannah wasn't touching her. She drank her in, brown eyes alight with an inner fire. Her hair fell down over her head, nearly brushing over one shoulder. She seemed as frozen as Alyssa had been a moment ago.
Alyssa reached out and grabbed her hand. Their skin touched and the contact was almost alive with electricity. "What are you waiting for?" she pleaded.
Hannah's eyes scraped over her until she made it up to her face, piercing her with her dark gaze. This was one of those moments that meant something, one of the things that a girl couldn't take back. There was no running away from this thing between them. Perhaps there never had been. From the moment they'd seen each other, from the moment they'd clicked, it had been leading to this point.
Hannah leaned down, one hand sliding behind Alyssa's red hair, bringing her head up just a few inches. And then her lips were being kissed and Alyssa almost forgot about being naked, almost forgot about what all this meant. She almost forgot everything except for the soft feel of Hannah pressed against her and the sweet taste of her full lips.
This wasn't her first kiss, but within seconds it was already her best. It blew her dreams of kissing Hannah out of the water. She'd thought that the dream felt real, but reality was so much more potent than fantasy.
Alyssa wrenched herself up, wrapping an arm around Hannah and pulling her close. Hannah's tank top brushed up against her naked breasts and Alyssa gasped at the sensation. Hannah took advantage, her tongue playing with Alyssa's in a heady, sexual game. But Alyssa was a quick learner and a dedicated student and her desire matched Hannah's with every caress.
But it was not only Alyssa's lips that Hannah wanted. Her hand found one of Alyssa's breasts, fingers dancing around, paying close attention to the sensitive flesh at the center. She kept it up until Alyssa was gasping and squirming against her, pleasure heavy in her belly, leaving her wet.
Alyssa had heard the term before, but she hadn't realized exactly how accurate it was. She could feel it in the seat of her pleasure and ached to be touched. Was it always like this? So fast and furious?
When Hannah pulled away, Alyssa tried to follow, but she stopped when Hannah bent down and took one of her stiff nipples into her mouth. Alyssa gasped, nearly cursing - and she never cursed - as lightning flashed behind her eyes and thunder rumbled in her ears. She fell back until she was lying down again, and this time Hannah took full advantage, her fingers landing on Alyssa's crotch, still covered by her sweatpants.
Alyssa's hips arched up against her fingers as Hannah applied pressure to that mound. She was casting a spell of ecstasy on Alyssa, and she was a slave to it. She wanted to reach out and touch Hannah, give her back some inkling of this pleasure, but she was drunk on it, lost at sea and unable to do anything but rock helplessly as Hannah gave her this beautiful gift.
"I want to touch you," Hannah said, lips rasping against her breast. "I'm going to slide your pants down," she warned.
Alyssa was too far gone to speak, but she wanted it. She lifted up her hips to help, letting her legs splay open as Hannah bared her sex. She should have felt some concern for her nudity. After all, Hannah was still fully clothed, but under Hannah's fingers, Alyssa felt free, freer than she'd ever felt in her entire life.
This was living.
And when Hannah's fingers found her this time, Alyssa couldn't bite back her exclamation any longer. "Oh. My. God." Hannah's fingers circled the hard nub of her clit until she was strung as tight as a bow, ready to snap and fracture into a million pieces.
Alyssa jerked and moaned helplessly as pleasure coursed through her. If this was sex, she couldn't believe she had waited so long. This was clearly what everyone craved. And still it got better, she could feel it building toward something, the tornado inside of her spinning faster and tighter, condensing and focusing until with a final snap she shuddered against Hannah's hand and broke as the pleasure took her over.
She came once, but Hannah didn't let up. She slid down Alyssa’s body and placed her lips on Alyssa’s sex, licking and sucking. Oh, mercy! She wanted to scream, but all she could do was jerk her hips and bury her fingers hard in Hannah’s hair.
Alyssa came again, this time even stronger than the first. Only when Alyssa stopped shuddering did Hannah pull away and take her mouth once more. Alyssa could taste herself on her lover’s lips.
Alyssa needed a moment to catch her breath. Sweat beaded her brow and her heart pounded faster than if she'd just run a marathon. She felt more awake, more alive than she'd ever felt in her life. Her blood sang with pleasure.
She reached down and grabbed the bottom of Hannah's tank top with a fumbling hand. She couldn't imaging pleasure greater than what she'd just received, but goodness knew that she really wanted to return that pleasure to Hannah. It was her turn to kiss her and touch her and make her explode with passion.
And then they could start again. After one night, Alyssa already knew that she was addicted to the taste of Hannah. She didn't know if she'd ever get over her. Or if she would ever want to.
Chapter Fifteen
It wasn't a dream. Hannah woke with an arm draped lazily around Alyssa's naked waist. Sometime in the night they'd retreated to Alyssa's tidy room to sleep. And sleep had happened... eventually. But they kept putting it off in favor of more kissing, more fucking.
Alyssa was an almost alarmingly quick study.
She looked peaceful in sleep, though her auburn hair was caught in tangles around her face. Hannah wanted to reach over and push them away, but she didn't want to risk waking her... her what? Was Alyssa her girlfriend now? Did she want to date? Or would she awaken horrified at what had happened the night before, content to write it off to drowsiness and a seductive massage?
Worse yet, would she remember the night fondly but not want a relationship? Would Hannah be her one bad deed?
Hannah sat up, careful not to disturb her partner. She couldn't deal with it right now, didn't want to face a rejection before she had a chance to work out what she even wanted from Alyssa. The slight chill in the air made her immediately regret getting up, but her clothes were in the other room and she wouldn't get any warmer standing around in the nude.
She ducked into the bathroom and grabbed her robe from its hook, slipping into it before she started to tidy up the living room. The robe was much warmer than her flimsy cotton shorts and loose tank-top.
They'd made a bit of a mess during their lovemaking. Papers had been bumped off the coffee table and the blankets that had been neatly folded on the couch were piled up in a nest in the middle of the room. A cup - thankfully empty - had tipped over and rolled under the table and was lying against Alyssa's underwear.
They'd really had sex.
Before Hannah could start obsessing again she heard her phone ring. At first she wondered why anyone would call so early, but a glance at the clock told her that it was nearly noon. Not so early after all.
"Hello? This is Hannah," she answered. She didn't recognize the number.
"Hannah! I'm so glad I could get a hold of you," a deep yet unmistakably female voice said. "It's Cherise. You performed at my club the other night."
They'd only met briefly. Cherise was a bubbly, six foot two black woman who owned the lesbian bar where Hannah had last performed.
"Oh, hey!" Hannah didn't know why she was calling, but she hoped that Cherise had another gig lined up for her. The job had paid well and she'd gotten about a dozen more hits than usual on the YouTube videos that she'd posted of
her songs. "What's up?"
"We've got another show coming up and I wanted to see if you were available for a set. The crowd's going to be bigger this time and I think I'm going to be hosting a few industry people. One of them is a newbie agent just looking for new acts. I think he'll like you. What do you say?" Cherise spoke fast and loud, like she was in a hurry and didn't realize how big of an opportunity this was for Hannah.
"Of course!" said Hannah, "When do you need me?" An agent could lead to a record deal. That could lead to a real music career. And if it did, she was just about the luckiest girl in Chicago.
"Next Thursday." They set up the appointment and then Cherise hung up, leaving Hannah bouncing from foot to foot, excitement bubbling in her veins.
"You look chipper," said Alyssa. Hannah hadn't heard her get up. But Alyssa was standing in the doorway of her room, illuminated by the light behind her. She wore a long, white tunic and looked angelic in the light.
The sight of her took Hannah's breath away. Forget the excitement for her music. She wanted to rush over there and pick up right where she and Alyssa had left off.
"I just booked a gig," she answered cautiously. It felt like she was walking on uneven ground filled with crevices, any unwise step could lead to her doom. Hannah had never felt like that before. With a jolt, Hannah realized that it was because no one had mattered to her as much as Alyssa did. Not at the beginning of a relationship. She'd never wanted to keep anyone, to have anyone, to be with anyone as much as she wanted that with Alyssa.
Okay, so maybe she was just a little possessive.
But Alyssa seemed almost oblivious to Hannah's caution. She clapped her hands together once before rushing across the room and engulfing Hannah in a big hug. "That's awesome!" She didn't let go, but merely loosened her grip a little, her arms draped loosely over Hannah's shoulders.
