Amish Brides

by Jennifer Beckstrand

  Madeline held the boppli in her arms, threw the note in the crate, pushed the crate with her foot to the side of the porch, and stepped inside the house. She held the boppli close. Catherine’s coldness and disregard for her dochder horrified her. Madeline would never abandon her dochder. She couldn’t understand how any mamm could do such a thing. What would Daed and Joshua say? Joshua wanted kinner, but would he agree to raise Catherine’s boppli? His family would be appalled Madeline would even ask Joshua to include this little one in their new life together. Catherine hadn’t cared how this would alter her life.

  As she pulled back the blanket, big blue eyes stared back at her. She smoothed the boppli’s wispy red hair. The infant’s skin was soft and pale. Would she keep Catherine’s identity a secret from her, or would she tell the little one when she was older all about her mamm? She wasn’t sure what would be best for her niece, now dochder. She’d pray to God for guidance.

  She’d feed her goat’s milk and use the cotton fabric she’d bought for a long skirt to make nappies instead. She didn’t mind a bit. In love with the wee one already, she would do her best to give her a good life.

  She glanced out the window. The barn doors were wide open. Daed had returned. She carried the boppli outside and approached him. “Daed, did you find everything in town we needed?”

  He smiled. “I found everything.” He put his finger in the boppli’s hand. “Girl or boy?”

  “Girl.”

  “She’s a beauty. Are you watching her for a friend? I don’t recognize her.”

  He’d had a difficult time getting over Mamm’s passing, and telling him about Catherine would hurt him deeply. She rolled her tense shoulders. “Meet Catherine’s dochder.”

  “What? Catherine? Where is she?” His expression brightened, hopeful and questioning.

  “Catherine is no longer here, and she gave me her dochder to raise. She’s enthusiastic about living in the world, and she wants nothing to do with her boppli. I asked her to stay and speak to you, but she thought it best to depart before you returned. She claims she’s happy. There’s no talking her into staying in Lancaster.”

  He threw his hat on a haystack and raked a hand through his hair. “I don’t understand her. How did your mamm and I fail her? I’m frustrated, angry, and sad all at the same time. Part of me would have wanted to talk to her one more time, but another part of me says she’s right. It’s best she left if there was no way to reason with her.” His eyes pooled with tears. “How could she walk away from her own boppli?”

  Watching her daed suffer extreme anguish over Catherine filled her with anger at her schweschder’s flagrant disregard for those who loved her. He’d been a faithful and loving daed who didn’t deserve such disrespect and disappointment from his dochder. “I don’t have an answer to your question. Talking to her was as if I had just met her for the first time. I’m still in shock at the way she talked with joy about her new life.”

  Her daed gazed at the child. “What’s her name?”

  “She doesn’t have a name. Catherine wanted to remain detached from her.”

  “The more you tell me about her, the more frustrated I am with her. How can she be so insensitive?”

  She closed her eyes for a moment. The weight of the world pressed on her shoulders with Catherine’s appearance, holding her niece, now dochder, and observing the agony in Daed’s face. It was all too much. Tears streamed onto her cheeks.

  Daed gently wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her to his side. He rested his head on hers. “I’m sorry, Madeline. This must be trampling your heart like a herd of cattle. Don’t worry. We’ll figure this out together.”

  She stared at him. “What should we name her?”

  He didn’t hesitate. “Ruthie, after your mamm.”

  “What a wonderful idea.” Her eyes filled with tears. “Ruthie it is.”

  “When was she born?” He took the boppli in his arms.

  “December second.” How much should she tell him? Everything Catherine divulged to her would upset him.

  “Where was she headed?”

  “I didn’t have much time to ask questions. She didn’t say where she was off to.”

  “How does she earn a living?”

  Madeline cringed. She didn’t want him to ask this question. She had to divert his attention. “The little angel has fallen asleep. Let’s take her inside. I’m glad you milked the goats early this morning. We’ll need it for her instead of using it for my baking recipes.”

  “Wait a moment.” He walked over to the corner of the barn and uncovered a beautiful maple cradle with a few scratches on the sides. “You and Catherine slept in this, now we’ll use it for Ruthie.” He carried the cradle inside and put it in Madeline’s bedroom, grabbed a blanket, and arranged a soft bed for the boppli.

  Madeline gently lowered her into the cradle. She tiptoed out of the room, leaving the door open so she could keep an eye on her. “Let’s go to the front room.”

  Daed settled back on the settee across from Madeline’s favorite oak chair. “You avoided my question. Why?”

  Her daed had just begun to heal from Mamm’s death. He had gotten the sparkle back in his eyes, and he’d walked straighter and laughed more in the last six months. She didn’t want Catherine’s ill-mannered behavior to destroy his resolve to be joyful. “I’d rather not say.”

  “Please tell me, Madeline.”

  She gripped her apron and stared at her white knuckles. He wasn’t going to leave this alone. She’d have to tell him the truth. “She works in saloons. She loves dancing and music. I don’t know much more.”

  “A saloon? Has she lost her mind?” He paced the floor. “You said she didn’t tell you much more? Tell me all of what she said. Don’t hold anything back.”

  The ache in the pit of her stomach got worse. Catherine’s declaration about entertaining men had been difficult for her to swallow. For Daed, she couldn’t imagine the pain it would cause him. What should she do? What she’d shared already had him pressing a hand to his heart in anguish. She’d never lied to him. She wouldn’t start now. “Catherine told me she meets men traveling through the towns where she works. She dines and dances with them. In exchange for her time, they pay her.” She stole a glance at him.

  His body shook with his pitiful sobs. His agony broke her heart.

  She knelt before him and gently held his arm. Tears pooled in her eyes. “I didn’t want to tell you. I can’t bear to watch you suffer. Please, Daed, don’t cry.”

  He caressed her cheek. “My dear Madeline. Your heart is compassionate. I’m blessed to call you my dochder.” He heaved a ragged breath. “Catherine has chosen her road to destruction. We can’t do anything for her. She has to want to change. All we can do is pray for God to protect her from harm and to bring her to her senses.”

  A knock at the door startled them. She answered the door. “Joshua, kumme in.”

  “You’ve been crying. What’s happened?”

  Daed rose. “Joshua, would you like water or lemonade?”

  “Don’t worry about me. Please tell me what’s wrong, Mr. Lehman.”

  “Madeline, you talk to Joshua. I’ll fetch some water.” He dragged his feet to the kitchen.

  “Please sit.” She gestured to the chair. “Catherine came here.”

  He darted a glance around the property. “Is she inside?”

  “She left.” She folded her hands in her lap. “She abandoned her boppli on the porch in the cold and headed back to her buggy without knocking on the door. I heard a cry, opened the door, found the boppli, and ran after Catherine. She stopped and talked to me for a few moments. I told her Daed was in town and asked would she please wait and speak to him before she left. She refused.”

  Bewildered, he said, “She left her boppli with you? Is she kumming back? I don’t understand.”

  Madeline told him the disheartening story. She waited for him to ask more questions.

  “I’ve never known a woman who would
leave her child for such selfish reasons. It’s appalling. Everything Catherine told you is inexcusable.”

  She hadn’t had time to let Catherine’s words sink in. The story she’d shared with Joshua and her daed was kumming out of her mouth, but the immoral life her schweschder was leading hadn’t fully registered in her mind until this moment. Madeline had become an instant mamm who wasn’t married yet. Her life had changed forever. The bishop and friends would ask questions. Gossip about Catherine and the boppli would start all over again, just when it had quieted down.

  Joshua held her hands in his. “Your raising Ruthie doesn’t change anything. We’ll get married as planned, and we’ll treat her as if she’s our own. She’ll need tender loving care, and you and I will give her all the love we can muster. If God blesses us with kinner, she’ll have siblings.”

  Daed hadn’t returned with the water. She suspected he’d been listening from the kitchen and trying to figure out the best time to make an appearance. “Daed, you can join us. I’ve told Joshua everything.”

  He came in and handed them each a glass of water. “Joshua, I overheard most of your conversation. You’re a good man to take on Catherine’s child as your own. I’m sorry she’s put you both in this predicament.”

  Joshua smiled at Madeline and her daed. “Madeline’s problems are mine. We solve them together. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her.”

  Ruthie cried.

  Madeline headed to the bedroom. “I’ll bring her in to meet you, Joshua. She’s precious.”

  Daed returned to the kitchen. “I poured goat’s milk in a pan to warm. I thought she might wake soon and be hungry.”

  “Mamm kept our old bottles in a box.” She glanced over her shoulder before rounding the corner. Stepping into the bedroom, she searched for the box and called to him. “Found them.” She grinned at wide-awake Ruthie. “I’ll be right back, little one.”

  She carried the box to the kitchen. “Ruthie’s awake. I’ll wash one of these out for her goat’s milk. Do you mind taking her to Joshua?”

  “I’ll wash the bottle for you. This is a big moment for you and Ruthie. You should take her to him.”

  “Danki, Daed.” She kissed his cheek. She re-entered the bedroom and lifted the precious bundle from the cradle and brought her to Joshua. “Would you like to hold her?”

  He uncovered the boppli. “She’s beautiful.” He touched her tiny nose and cuddled her in his strong arms.

  Madeline relaxed for the first time since Catherine’s appearance. She watched Joshua croon over Ruthie. He had fallen in love with the angel in an instant. He hadn’t taken his eyes off her, and he hadn’t stopped talking to her.

  ” Oh, Ruthie, you are adorable. Soon, I’ll be your daed. We’re going to get along just fine. You already have your own room in a new haus.” Joshua kissed her tiny cheek. “I don’t know if I can part with her, but I must get home and let you tend to this dear boppli.”

  “I’m thankful for your understanding. We have more to talk about with how your parents and the community will react to Ruthie once they find out she’s Catherine’s.”

  Madeline darted her gaze from his.

  “Don’t worry about them for now. You’ve been through enough emotional upheaval today. Enjoy Ruthie and don’t lose sleep over worrying about what people will say. We’ll take it one step at a time.”

  Daed held a bottle of warm milk. “Do you want me to feed her while you walk Joshua out?”

  Joshua squeezed Madeline’s hand. “You stay. I’ll show myself out. Again, don’t worry. I’m confident our friends will love Ruthie and support our choice to raise her. As for all the others, we’ll ignore them.”

  “You make it sound so easy.” Her heart swelled at the fine man she’d promised to marry. Her mind swirled with trepidation.

  “No, not easy, but we’ll face whatever kummes our way together.” He smiled, passed Ruthie to her, and left. She settled into a chair.

  Daed handed her the bottle and plopped into the chair next to her. “Joshua didn’t hesitate to accept Ruthie. He won’t let anything stand in his way of your marriage. You’re blessed to have him in your life. I am too. I already think of him as my son.”

  “He’s a wonderful man.”

  Ruthie had half her bottle gone.

  The little one must’ve been ravenous. Madeline stared at the innocent face and wondered what life had in store for them. She didn’t want to imagine the Stutzmans’ reaction to Ruthie. Exhausted, she would feed her unexpected dochder, fix something quick for her and her daed for supper, and head to bed early tonight. She doubted she’d sleep. She’d probably toss and turn, wondering what she would encounter from the Stutzmans. She had more than herself to consider. Her future looked very uncertain.

  * * *

  Joshua had put on a good front for Madeline, but he dreaded his family’s reaction to finding out about Ruthie. He didn’t want Madeline to slip away from him based on their opinion. They’d badger him even more to reconsider his plans to wed Madeline. Would they refuse to speak to him again when they found out he and Madeline were going to accept Ruthie as their dochder? The gossipers in the community would spread Catherine’s reappearance and abhorrent behavior like wildfire. He arrived home, fixed and ate a sandwich, and stared out the window as darkness fell. He and Madeline had more turmoil to kumme.

  * * *

  He met Elijah outside early the next day. “Good morning.”

  “I’m on way to town and thought I’d stop by for a few minutes. Are you enjoying the haus?”

  “I am, and you are responsible for a lot of the work. Danki.” He pointed and grinned. “I put some finishing touches on the outhaus. Now, I have a cook-stove and a dry sink in the kitchen. I have a bed, furniture for the front room, and a table and chairs for the kitchen. Mr. Lapp offered me a good deal on everything from his store.” He gestured to the door. “I’ll show it to you.”

  Elijah went in and ran his hand along the back of a smooth maple chair. “Looks nice.”

  “I really like it.” He leaned against the back of the chair. “I’ve got some shocking news to tell you.” Joshua told Elijah the heartbreaking story.

  Elijah clapped a hand to his chest. “What about her husband? Is she married?”

  He shook his head. “She doesn’t even know who fathered the boppli.”

  “Joshua, Joshua, Joshua. Your parents will be outraged when you tell them.” He stared at him. “You are going to tell them, right? You don’t want them finding out from someone else.”

  He had planned on putting off talking to them about Catherine and Ruthie, but Elijah had a point. Someone might’ve already seen Catherine in town. The gossip might have started. He groaned. “I considered waiting to tell them but after talking with you, I don’t think I have any choice but to tell them right away.”

  “Today, Joshua. You can’t delay. You want to improve your relationship with them, not make it worse. If they learn about Catherine’s return and Ruthie from someone else, they’ll be hurt and frustrated you didn’t tell them.”

  He grimaced. “I’m doomed either way. They’re never going to wilkom Ruthie into their lives because of Catherine’s betrayal of Nathaniel. And her abandonment of her dochder gives them more reasons to justify their closed-mindedness toward the Lehmans. I’m afraid Madeline will shy away from me and from them.”

  “If you need to talk, I’m here for you, my friend. This will be a tough road for you to travel. Do you mind if I share your story with Addie?”

  “Jah, tell her. She’ll offer the encouragement and support Madeline will need.”

  “Would you like to pray together?”

  “Please.” Joshua bowed his head.

  Elijah put his hand on Joshua’s shoulder, and they closed their eyes. “Dear Heavenly Father, we lift Your name on high. Please give Joshua the words to tell his story to his parents. Please help them to accept Madeline and Ruthie and support the union of their son to this lovely woman. We love You. Amen.
”

  “Danki, Elijah.”

  “God doesn’t always answer our prayers right away.”

  “I know, but I trust God will help me remain calm and give me the words to say amidst the storm I’m facing with them and maybe others in the community. I worry more about Madeline. She’s suffered enough criticism from my parents for Catherine’s selfish decisions.”

  “We’ll stand by her, and she’ll be fine.”

  “I want to believe you’re right. I can’t imagine not having her in my life. I don’t want anything to change her mind about marrying me. I suppose many women wouldn’t put up with what she has from my parents’ rejection of her.”

  “Take it one day at a time, friend.”

  Joshua bid Elijah farewell and sat on the porch step. Why put off going to his parents’? He might as well tell them sooner than later. He secured his horse to the harness and buggy and guided the animal to his childhood home. He went home, and his Mamm was outside.

  Carrying a basket of eggs on her way to the front door, Mamm stopped, her eyebrows raised. “Joshua, would you like some breakfast?”

  She wore a smile and was pleasant. His announcement would ruin her day. Dread washed over him. “Are Daed and Nathaniel inside?”

  “Jah, in the kitchen. Neither cared for breakfast earlier this morning, so they did some chores and then came back in. Join us.”

  He secured his horse, went inside, and hung his coat on a hook. He sat next to Nathaniel at the round maple table. “Good morning.”

  “Are you finished with your haus?” Daed moved his fork and knife to the side.

  “I have to build cabinets and put finishing touches here and there, but jah, it’s finished. I’m satisfied with the way it turned out. You’re wilkom to stop by.”

  Nathaniel grinned. “I would like to have a look. Maybe I’ll stop by this afternoon.”

  Mamm served eggs, bacon, and grits with gravy and joined them.

  Joshua’s lips parted. I can’t believe it. The conversation was enjoyable. Something he hadn’t experienced for a while, without their badgering him about marrying Madeline. He didn’t want to dampen their mood, but he must. “Catherine came to the Lehmans’ yesterday.”