Amish Brides

by Jennifer Beckstrand

  His family’s faces paled. They gasped.

  Joshua swallowed around the lump in his throat. “She had a boppli out of wedlock, and she left her dochder, Ruthie, named after their mamm, with Madeline. Nothing has altered our plans. We’ll marry in June and bring up Ruthie together. I wanted you to hear this from me and not someone else. The news will travel throughout the community after Madeline takes Ruthie to town and introduces her to friends.”

  Mamm bristled. “You are not going to rear this horrible woman’s child as your own! You must separate yourself from the Lehmans. Now, Joshua. They are nothing but trouble.”

  Nathaniel narrowed his eyes. “Who fathered the child?”

  “I don’t know.” He wouldn’t tell them Catherine had no idea. The less said about his bruder’s former love interest, the better. He wouldn’t inflict more pain on Nathaniel.

  Daed sipped his water and set the glass down with a bang. “The daed could kumme for the boppli at any time.”

  “She assured Madeline this wouldn’t happen.”

  “She has no control over the daed.”

  His mamm crossed her arms. “Catherine doesn’t know who the daed is, does she?”

  The hairs on the back of Joshua’s neck prickled, and he shrugged. He had planned to avoid revealing this information.

  Nathaniel pushed his plate aside, stood, grabbed his coat, and went outside.

  Joshua shrugged into his coat and went after him. “Nathaniel, I can’t imagine your pain at this moment. Please talk to me.”

  “I love her, and I abhor her at the same time. She scared me with her interest in the world. But I put aside my fears she’d leave one day, hoping and praying I was enough for her and she’d stay here for me. Never would I have believed she would give herself to strange men. I thought I meant something to her. How could I have been so wrong and foolish?”

  He hoped his parents wouldn’t kumme and interfere. He and his bruder were discussing a problem the way they used to. “You’re not foolish, Nathaniel. There’s nothing wrong with falling in love with her. She chose to leave. Please put the pain of her betrayal behind you. Search and open your heart to another woman.”

  “Joshua, Catherine’s boppli drives another wedge between us. If you marry Madeline, this boppli will remind us of the anguish her schweschder caused every time we look at her dochder.”

  “You’ll kumme to accept the boppli as belonging to Madeline and me.”

  His mamm and daed stepped outside. “You’re wrong. We’ll never accept the boppli.”

  She turned and went inside.

  Daed and Nathaniel glared at him in stony silence.

  He put his chin to his chest, got in his buggy, and went to town. He needed a new saw blade, and the ride would clear his head. It would take a miracle from God to soften their hearts. He dreaded telling Madeline about this conversation with them. How could they reject this innocent little girl?

  The gray clouds matched his dismal mood. The damp, cold air added to the weight of what was to kumme when gossip passed from person to person about Catherine leaving her boppli behind. There was nothing to say in Catherine’s defense. From what Madeline had told him, she had no remorse for her actions. Shocked at her abandonment of Ruthie, he would never have guessed she was capable of such a thing.

  Tying his horse to the hitching post, he held his hat against the wind. This weather had changed in a hurry. A newspaper blew against his legs. He picked it up and glanced at the page. It was from March third. BIG NEWS! AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH INCORPORATED IN NEW YORK CITY AS A SUBSIDIARY OF AMERICAN BELL TELEPHONE COMPANY. He walked in and handed the paper to the boy behind the counter. “I found this outside and thought I’d return it.”

  “Thank you, Mister. The wind must’ve knocked over the burn barrel out back. I found this in the back room earlier and threw it in there with some others. I’ll go check and make sure we don’t have papers scattering.”

  He’d read the first few lines. Telephones would be convenient for communicating, but he lived by the Amish Ordnung, the agreed-upon rules forbidding any type of modern conveniences in their community. They wanted to keep their lives simple and not get caught up in the types of things the outside world had to offer.

  Two men conversed outside the general store. He overheard them talking about President Grover Cleveland. Amish didn’t pay any mind to politics, and he was glad. Just hearing what little he did gave him the start of a headache. He had enough problems.

  The hardware store was crowded. He maneuvered his way to the tools section. He found the saw blade he wanted, walked to the front, and stood in the long line of customers waiting to pay for their purchases.

  Mr. Chupp spoke to Mr. Beachy way ahead of him. “I passed a woman who looked like Catherine Lehman driving a fancy buggy with velvet seats. She wore a fancy Englischer wool coat and hat.”

  “I thought she and Nathaniel Stutzman would marry, but she left to live in the outside world. I’d be surprised if the woman you passed on the road was her. She’s been gone for a while now.”

  “I’m sure you’re right.” He crossed his arms. “My fraa told me Joshua Stutzman has eyes for Madeline Lehman, Catherine’s schweschder. The man better reconsider. She might leave him in the dust with a bunch of kinner to raise on his own if he marries her.”

  “If he’s smart, he’ll change his mind.” The men stepped up to the counter together to pay for their purchases.

  Joshua winced. He ducked behind the tall man in front of him. He didn’t want his friends to know he was in the store. Their comparison of Catherine and Madeline angered him. He had half a mind to confront them, but this wasn’t the place, in front of customers. It wasn’t the first time he’d overheard disparaging remarks about Catherine. The gossipers assumed Madeline was the same by association. He ached at the unjust way she was being judged.

  The men walked out the door. He paid for his saw blade and went to Madeline’s.

  She opened the door with Ruthie in her arms and waved him in, putting a finger to her lips. “She’s been fussy, and she just fell asleep. I’ll lay her in the cradle, and we can talk.”

  “I’ll wait here for you.” He smiled at Madeline.

  She glowed with the sweet boppli in her arms. His news would stir up the turmoil within her again. The last thing he wanted to do, but keeping each other informed was best. How much more was she willing to put up with from his parents now that Ruthie would be a part of their intolerance? Worry circled in him.

  Chapter 4

  Madeline joined Joshua in the front room. “This is an odd time for you to visit. You’re usually very busy during this time of day.”

  “Elijah came over early this morning, and he advised me not to wait to tell my parents about Catherine and Ruthie.” He grinned. “He knows how I like to avoid unpleasant conversations. I told them earlier today.”

  “What did they say, and please don’t hold back anything.”

  “Catherine leaving her child for you to care for substantiates why I should stay away from your family, according to them. They don’t understand why I would agree to accept your niece after what Catherine did to Nathaniel.”

  “I’d be lying if I said I was surprised.” She hurt each time they treated her like a leper. Madeline knew what she had to do, as much as it would bring anguish to her very soul.

  His parents loved Joshua and, in their own way, they thought they were protecting him. She didn’t agree with them, but she understood their love for Joshua. She’d pray for God’s intervention, but until then, she had to do what was best for now.

  Madeline took a deep breath. “Joshua, I’m convinced God wouldn’t want us to marry and go against your parents’ wishes. A black cloud would hang over us, and I’d blame myself for tearing your family apart. You’ve been close with them. Your marriage should bring your family joy, not heartache.”

  Joshua put a finger to her lips. “Are you saying you won’t ever marry me?”

  “Your fa
mily may never accept Ruthie and me into their fold. I can’t ask you to wait indefinitely.”

  “This is my family’s problem, not ours. Madeline, I love you and Ruthie, and I’m not giving up so easily. I have faith God will fix this.” He turned and left.

  She couldn’t bear the agony on his face. Her body ached, and she was certain she’d never love anyone again like she loved Joshua, the perfect man for her. She hoped he wouldn’t pursue her. She’d weaken, and she mustn’t, for she truly believed she was doing the right thing. She slumped in achair, buried her head in her hands, wept, and prayed.

  Daed entered the room and sat beside her. “Madeline, I talked to Joshua at his wagon. The man is shattered. He loves you. Work this out together. Please.”

  She raised her head and dabbed her wet cheeks with her sleeve. “Our families should be uniting and not causing strife over our impending marriage. I don’t believe God would bless our union if it means destroying Joshua’s relationship with his family.”

  Her daed sighed. “I’m sorry our family problems have caused so much heartache for you and Joshua. I understand why the Stutzmans are skeptical of you, since they haven’t gotten to know you. Your schweschder, unwed and abandoning her boppli, disgusts me. I can imagine how they must feel. I’m sure they’re afraid that you do not have a true commitment to Joshua after what Catherine has done to their family. They just need to know you to realize they can trust you. I understand waiting to marry, but don’t give up. Have faith, like Joshua, this will all work out.”

  “It will take a miracle to change the Stutzmans’ minds. God tells us to honor our daed and mamm. If I marry Joshua against his family’s wishes, and our marriage hurts his relationship with them, the blame will rest on me.”

  “You’re hurt and frustrated. I’m here for you. Together, we’ll get through this. Pray and ask God for His guidance and His purpose for our families.” He kissed her forehead.

  She had never been more heartsick in her life than now. Joshua, the love of her life, had been the only man she’d wanted to spend her life with besides her daed. The thought his parents would forever oppose their marriage, and the idea he might propose to another woman someday, sent a ripple of pain through her heart. She couldn’t concentrate on what might be. She had to think of what she believed God would have her do for now. She loved the Bible story of how Ruth left her family and country and clung to her husband’s mamm, Naomi. Ruth and Naomi had such a close relationship. She wished she could have the same relationship with Mrs. Stutzman someday, but she and Joshua’s mamm having this same bond didn’t seem possible.

  * * *

  Madeline dressed Ruthie and grinned at the clear sky through the window Friday morning. “Ruthie, we’re going to Addie’s today. She’ll be delighted to meet you.” She said good-bye to her daed and carried Ruthie to the buggy in a crate lined with blankets. She roped and secured it to the bench and headed to Addie’s haus.

  Addie opened the door and gasped. “What a wilkom surprise to have you here. Elijah told me about Catherine and Ruthie. I want you to tell me what happened.”

  “Oh, Addie, I was shocked.” Madeline shared her story.

  Addie reached for Ruthie. “She’s beautiful. I don’t understand how Catherine could leave this beloved little girl.” Her lips quivered. “I wish I could talk you into marrying Joshua, but I understand. I love Elijah’s family. I’m not sure I could’ve married him if they had objected to our future together. I wouldn’t have wanted him to have to choose me over them. We socialize and help each other a lot. I’d be crushed his parents weren’t a part of our lives. I don’t think God would honor such a marriage. I will pray God convinces them they are wrong about you.”

  “I knew you’d understand. Danki.” Madeline covered her friend’s hand.

  “Let’s take your mind off this.” She pointed to a stack of folded clothes. “Beth Troyer brought over dresses and kapps her dochder has outgrown. She said if I don’t have a girl, to pass them onto a mamm who does. You can have them for Ruthie. I’m sure some of our other friends who have had girls will offer me more clothes if I have a dochder. There are also glass bottles.”

  “Danki, I’ll need them. Catherine left dresses with her, but not Amish ones. I’ll put them to good use.” She hugged her friend. “I’ll need you to lean on. Danki.” She stayed an hour, bid her friend farewell, and drove home.

  Daed approached her. “I’ll take the horse and put him in the barn. You tend to Ruthie.” He untied the crate and lifted it out of the buggy. He kissed Ruthie’s forehead. “Did you enjoy your visit at Addie’s?”

  “Jah, she lifted my mood and offered her unwavering support. I’m fortunate to have her loyal friendship. I trust her to keep anything I tell in her confidence, and she accepts me unconditionally.”

  “True friends like Addie aren’t easy to find.”

  Madeline gazed into his wise eyes. Addie had provided additional strength and encouragement throughout her troublesome relationship with Joshua’s parents after Catherine’s abrupt departure. She enjoyed sharing a laugh, a secret, or everyday conversation with her best friend. They gave each other advice and hugs. She’d look forward to the birth of Addie’s boppli, and she hoped Ruthie and Addie’s little one would become close friends.

  Madeline wished Catherine had loved her as a schweschder and best friend the way Addie did. She resented Catherine for turning her world upside down. How could she and Catherine have been raised by the same parents? The woman lived a sinful life Madeline could never understand. Catherine didn’t get her curious and rebellious nature from their parents. She really didn’t know Catherine at all. She rolled her shoulders. God had a plan for her and Ruthie. She had to quit dwelling on her schweschder and get on with life for Ruthie and her daed’s sake.

  Ruthie had fallen asleep on the ride home and soiled her dress. Madeline changed Ruthie into a fresh nappy and selected one of the dresses Addie had given her.

  The boppli woke for a few moments and fell asleep again in her arms as she entered the front room. Madeline jerked to a stop and gasped. Joshua. Her heart skipped a beat. She met his gaze and held it.

  Daed pushed the door open and headed outside. “I’ll be in the barn.” He glanced over his shoulder.

  Joshua rushed to her. “Madeline, I can’t lose you. Please reconsider.” He caressed Ruthie’s cheek. “She needs a daed, and it should be me.”

  She gave him an endearing glance. “Let me put her in her cradle. She just fell back to sleep.” She left the room and lowered Ruthie into the cradle. Shaking, she returned to Joshua. She had missed his face and his hand in hers. But she saw no hope for a future for them. Not as long as it meant going against his parents’ wishes.

  She faced him. “Joshua, your parents don’t want you to suffer the ridicule we are going to get from others about Catherine and Ruthie. They don’t trust me not to run away like Catherine and take the kinner we have together. I understand their position, even if I don’t like it. Can you honestly say you think God would honor our marriage under the present circumstances?”

  He reached for her hands. “I believe God will turn this around for us. Is there anything I can say to sway your decision?”

  “Please understand I will always love you, but I feel I’m right.” She stared at their hands. “I wish it weren’t so.”

  Daed walked in and put a hand on Joshua’s shoulder. “I’m sorry you and Madeline are suffering. Please know I am confident you and my dochder will be together someday.”

  “Danki. I should go finish working on the haus. I just had to stop by.”

  “Good day, son.” Her daed left them alone.

  Joshua opened the door for her.

  Madeline stepped outside and accompanied him to his buggy.

  “I love you, Madeline.” He pulled her to him and kissed her on the lips.

  Warmth filled her. She couldn’t breathe. A thrill ignited her very soul. She gazed into his soulful eyes. “Joshua, I’ll remember this kiss
for the rest of my life.” She let the tears fall onto her cheeks.

  Ruthie cried.

  “I must go to her. I’m sorry, Joshua.” She ran inside.

  * * *

  Joshua watched her go in the haus. He touched his mouth. The softness of her lips lingered. He shouldn’t have given her such a passionate kiss, but he had to hold her. It might be his last chance to kiss her. Why couldn’t he make her understand they weren’t responsible for his parents’ implacable judgments?

  * * *

  Dressed for church and in his warm coat, Joshua breathed in the cool, crisp air on this first Sunday in April as he headed to the Yosts’ haus for the service. A little over a week had passed since Madeline had told him she wouldn’t marry him because of his parents’ disapproval. Church service wasn’t held last week, and he would’ve spent the day with her family, but he’d thought it best not to pressure her for now. The Yosts were hosting church today. She would probably be in attendance. He was anxious to talk to her.

  He tied his horse to the big oak tree. He went inside and sat next to Elijah.

  Elijah patted his knee. “Addie and I have been praying for you and Madeline. How are you holding up?”

  “Not good. I’m at a loss as to what to say or do to convince her we should marry. As her daed said, it’s in God’s hands.”

  “The Lehmans arrived early, and the bishop met Ruthie. He stated Ruthie is fortunate to have Madeline and her daed to take her in. He’ll announce her addition to their family after the service.”

  “Madeline must be pleased to have the bishop’s blessing. His support will encourage the congregation to accept Ruthie with joyful hearts. I’ve overheard gossip in our community from friends and neighbors expressing their distaste for Catherine abandoning her boppli. They don’t approve of Madeline raising Ruthie and think she should’ve insisted Catherine live up to her responsibility. My parents are feeling justified in their position on this matter. I’m disheartened she won’t allow me to share this difficult time with her.”