“Citrine. Real citrine, very rare. A few minor imperfections. This is the fifth or sixth setting I’ve had it in.”
It looked like a heavy-duty class ring without any decoration. Satiny smooth from years of his nervous tic.
“What does it signify?”
He shrugged, and when she released his hand, she sensed his regret. “Protection. At least, that’s what the lore says. It’s always brought me good luck. It has a lot of properties, emotional and physical healing, psychic warning system. Heck, one book I’ve got says it even clears constipation.”
He smiled as she laughed. Alone like this, she knew she was privileged to see the real man, not the mask he wore for everyone else. And he was sweet.
“Remind me, and I’ll loan you my book on crystals. I’ll bring it to the house next time I come down.” He paused. “When I say I don’t remember how long I’ve had it, that’s a fib. It’s over two hundred years old.” His voice was unusually quiet, sad. “I know I’m a pain in the ass, but this was from the one person who could tame me. She knew she was dying. She was worried about me, about what I’d do when she was gone. She wanted me protected. She knew what I was immediately when we first met.”
He paused. She didn’t interrupt, touched to see this side of him. Did anyone else ever see it? He met Taz’s eyes, fully aware of what he was doing.
“When I say Matthias loves you, I say it because I know the pain he’s felt. It’s not unusual for us to love and lose that love through the natural course of time. There’s nothing you can do about it. You are very fortunate you’ve found someone like you, someone who can give you many years of joy.”
He was sincere. He invited her into his mind, enough to see the woman, how much he’d loved her, how she died. And how his grief consumed him, nearly killed him.
“She wasn’t a vampire?”
He shook his head, took a drink of water. “Catydid—Cassandra—was a witch. A true witch, not one of those new age woo-woo Wiccans who light incense and think they’re powerful. I protected her because as you know, back then, it wasn’t popular. She was the closest thing to a doctor there was. She had strong intuitive abilities. Herbs, healing, midwife. She was special. She spent her life helping others, never harmed anyone.” Rafael’s barrier was back up, but now Taz knew more about him, why he was a playboy.
Why he didn’t want to get close to someone else.
“I know I’ve got a reputation, Taz. Everyone handles loss in their own way. Once I got over wanting to kill myself, I learned to move forward. I just decided it’s easier for me not to get too close to others. Play and leave.”
“Matthias knows.” Not a question.
“I’d be dead if it wasn’t for him. I wanted to die. He wouldn’t let me kill myself, promised me it would get easier as time went on. In some ways it did, but in others… No one else knows, and I’d appreciate it if no one else did. They’d all be like, ‘Oh poor Rafe, he’s just so sad, let’s hook him up.’ Frankly, I don’t I want that anymore. I’m beyond that.”
“It hurts too bad.”
He nodded as he smiled. “God, look at me, the wet blanket. Let’s eat.”
They took their time and talked for nearly two hours. He was intelligent, funny, and sensitive. When he mentioned he had a Mustang, her eyes lit up, and they even talked cars for a while. They had a lot in common, and she knew they could easily talk all night.
There was a natural pause in their conversation toward the end of dinner, and she sensed something from him. The longer they were together, the more he let his guard down.
And, she realized, the more she let hers down, too.
“You remind me of her. A lot,” he whispered, meeting her eyes.
Taz quickly looked away. She loved Matthias. Rafael was different than him in so many ways, and yet so damn familiar. If she spent a lot of time around him, would it cause problems for her in her relationship with Matthias?
Rafael reached over and touched her hand. “Taz, baby, I’ll never come between the two of you. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot earlier. I meant it—I’m really sorry about that.”
She turned her hand over, took his, squeezed. “I know.” She forced her eyes back to his, searching. What if she had met Rafael first? What if Matthias hadn’t nearly died, if she didn’t feed him and have that bond with him, would she still feel the same?
Rafael smiled, raised her hand to his lips, and kissed it gently before releasing her. “We’ll never know, will we?” he whispered.
Taz blushed, unaware she’d broadcasted her thought to him. She knew this was the real Rafael, not the playful flirt everyone else saw.
She didn’t raise her barrier against him.
“And don’t forget, baby girl, my blood runs though the big guy’s veins. And his through mine. Centuries of saving each other’s asses,” he smirked. “So you’ve had a taste of me, too.” He paused. “Just promise me one thing.”
“What?”
He gently touched her chin, and the heat in that simple gesture made her shiver with desire.
Rafael’s eyes fixed hers. She struggled to hear his low, emotion-filled voice. “Please, promise me if there’s ever a chance, you’ll give it to me first.”
Her heart raced. It was suddenly hard to breathe. It felt like hours that she stared into his eyes, knowing he wasn’t trying to control her but feeling that deep-seated connection she couldn’t explain. She wished she could give him that chance now, God help her.
She nodded and whispered, “I will. I promise.”
He smiled, sad and wistful. “I know I’ll never get that chance, because I know you love each other. I just want you to know how I feel. Just in case.” He squeezed her hand again. “I’ll make sure to look for you in my next life.” He laughed. “Dibs.”
She smiled and nodded again. “Me too. Dibs on you.” What was it about him? With Matthias she felt a pull, the attraction, at the very depths of her soul. This was even more still. This was familiar.
Like she’d loved him before. She knew it wasn’t due to his vampire charm, either. She felt it on a deeper level, similar to what she felt for Matthias, only different.
“Why do we feel this way?” she asked, speaking what they both felt. “Why do I love you, Rafe?”
He looked down at the table. She sensed he was holding back. “I don’t know.”
She waited, but he didn’t continue. “You have an idea, don’t you?”
He nodded, still not meeting her eyes.
It was like pulling teeth. She couldn’t stand it. “Rafe—”
He shook his head, looking at her again. “Water under the bridge, Taz baby. It doesn’t matter, does it? I know you and Matthias love each other. You have a chance to be happy together. And I am happy for you—both of you.”
She didn’t pry, but sensed more.
* * * *
How could he ever tell her? Not that he had proof. That she was once Cassandra.
His Cassandra. His sweet, beautiful Catydid.
And beyond that, even… He had his suspicions, but why give Matthias even more reason not to screw up?
“Do you have your camera with you?” he asked.
She felt her pockets and nodded. “Why?”
“I’d like a couple of pictures. You can e-mail them to me later.”
He flagged the waiter over, moved to sit next to her, and the waiter took several pictures of them smiling, happy. Rafael asked for one more, and she turned to look at him, instinctively knowing what he wanted, letting him touch his forehead to hers like two intimate lovers instead of friends.
He managed to hold his tears at bay. He was convinced now more than ever of who she was, because of the things he felt from and about her.
She didn’t know. She couldn’t ever know. He couldn’t do that to Matthias or to her. She already loved his cousin. Perhaps one day he might have another chance with her. Until that time, he’d have to be content with his memories. And pictures.
“Thank y
ou,” he whispered.
She smiled. Before he could move away, she touched his face and gently kissed him on the lips, but it was a good-bye, not the passionate embrace of earlier.
“I love you, Rafe. I’m sorry I can’t give you more than that right now.”
He met her eyes, nodded, stroked her cheek. “I know. It’s okay. I love you, too, Taz baby.”
You have no idea how much, baby girl.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
“Matthias knows, by the way,” Rafael said on their way back from dinner. “You can quit stressing.”
“What?”
“About this afternoon. Our little indiscretion.”
She groaned, stopping. “You told him?”
“I didn’t have to.”
“What?”
“Do you really think he’d leave me alone with you during an experiment like that, when you were so vulnerable?”
“What do you mean?”
Rafe laughed, putting an arm around her, hugging her to him and walking with her. “He was there the whole time, in your mind.”
Taz gasped, horrified. “No!”
“I didn’t realize it either. He told me you forget when he’s there.”
“He was there all day?”
“He said unless you deliberately block him, he’s there.”
“So he’s here right now?”
“Oh, I doubt that. Only when he’s close to you.” Rafael staggered as she pulled away from him and slammed her defenses closed.
“Uh, wow. Or unless you do that.”
“He saw us kissing? He heard…” She felt nauseous.
“Oh yeah, all afternoon. Hey, I’m embarrassed about it, too. Like I said, I thought—”
“Why the hell didn’t he stop us? And what the hell right does he have to stay in my head unless I tell him he can be there?”
“Uh, listen, Taz baby, I—”
“I’m going to kill him.” She stormed toward the cabins when around the corner walked Matthias, Albert, and Tim.
Matthias was smiling. It wasn’t until he was close enough to see Taz’s face in the fading light that he realized she was pissed.
“Taz, what’s—”
SLAP! Her hand stung, but the stunned look on Matthias’ face made it worth it. She didn’t know which was worse, her anger at his betrayal of her privacy and trust or her guilt over what she’d done with Rafe.
Nope, definitely anger in the lead.
“How dare you? You’ve been staying in my head all this time? You saw me kiss him this afternoon and you didn’t stop it? How”—SLAP—“dare you!”
* * * *
She stormed to their cabin while Matthias contemplated the stinging in both cheeks.
Tim stepped up to him. “See, I told you so.”
“Shut up.”
Matthias turned to Rafael. “What the hell did you say to her?”
Rafael looked sheepish. “I told her you knew about the kiss. She was worried how you’d react. I was trying to make her feel better.”
“Yeah, that worked.”
“Hey, it’s not my fault you haven’t told her all this stuff yet. I apologized, told her the only reason I’d played around with her was because I thought you’d marked her.”
“Oh, no. Please tell me you didn’t?”
“Well how the hell was I supposed to know she didn’t know anything about that? What you haven’t told her would fill a friggin’ book, Matts. I figured you and Mr. Nanny here had at least taught her some basics. Considering there will be strong vampires at the meeting, it might be a good idea she kept her distance from them.”
“We hadn’t got that far.”
“Well, duh. When were you going to clue me in? How am I supposed to help her if I don’t know what the hell is going on, big guy?”
Matthias turned and followed Taz, but she’d locked the cabin door. “Come on, Taz, please. Anastazia, don’t do this.” He reached out with his mind and met a razor wire barrier.
“Go away, Matthias.”
He tried the doorknob again and realized he didn’t have his key with him. He knocked. “Anastazia, please—”
Matthias felt the force of her anger slam into him, blasting him off the stoop and onto the ground nearly three feet below, knocking the wind out of him. He lay in the dirt trying to catch his breath while Tim looked down at him, not offering a hand.
“I told you so.” Tim had apparently slipped into protective father mode.
“Shut up!” Matthias got up, brushed his clothes off, and climbed the steps to try again. “Anastazia, would you please give me a chance—”
“Go away, Matthias. I don’t even want to look at you right now.”
“We have to prepare for tomorrow.”
“I’m not going.”
“You have to.”
“No, I don’t.” He could barely hear her through the door. It hit him for the first time that he couldn’t make her go if she decided she wasn’t going unless he physically dragged her there.
And even then, she was so powerful, she might be able to resist that.
He rested his head against the door and dropped his voice. “Please, let me explain.”
“No. Go away. I’m too angry to talk to you right now.”
He looked to Tim, who shrugged. No help there. “All you can do is wait for her to calm down,” he told Matthias.
“How long will that take?”
“At the rate you’re going? Maybe half past the Apocalypse. If you’re lucky, you stupid sod.”
* * * *
Matthias shared Albert’s room that night. Rafael offered to let Matthias bunk with him, but his cabin was on the other side of the compound, and Matthias didn’t want to be that far from her. At least Albert’s room was just a wall away, in the same cabin. The guards remained at her door, two at a time.
Through the wall, Matthias heard her take a shower. He lay on his bed, his eyes closed, reaching out to her.
* * * *
Taz ignored Matthias hovering outside her mind. Keeping the barrier up that long exhausted her, but she wasn’t about to drop it. She fought the urge to reach out and hurt him even though she knew he couldn’t stop her. She was powerful—she realized that now. She hadn’t understood how powerful until her talks with Rafe. He must have sensed her looking through his mind at dinner, trying to find more information about Matthias, yet he hadn’t tried to stop her.
And Rafael was attracted to her, too. Why did he feel so damn familiar, when she’d only met him that morning? It was more than just the trace of his blood in Matthias’ veins.
Why do I love him?
Well, how about that? Not one, but two gorgeous guys who wanted her. Loved her.
Hallelujah, it’s raining vampires. Amen.
She lay in bed and ignored Matthias tapping at her mental barrier. Vindictive? Hell yes. Matthias could have stopped her. And he spied on her. She didn’t know which made her angrier. To think she’d felt mortified that she kissed Rafael while Matthias knew the whole time and let it happen.
Big fink! Ugh.
Or voyeur. Ick!
She closed her eyes and let her mind drift across the compound. She found Rafael lying in his bed and not quite asleep yet.
Naughty boy. She sensed what was in his mind, saw that she was the star in a pretty hot fantasy. He was a bit of a perv, but harmless.
She withdrew then hesitated. Let Matthias have a taste of his own medicine. He wanted to watch? Fine. She’d give him an eyeful. She couldn’t deny her steamy afternoon kiss with Rafael left her wanting more.
A lot more.
Rafael was easy to take control of, especially so close to sleep. She infiltrated his fantasies and teased, taunted, deliciously tortured him. This is where succubi must have come from. Pissed-off vampires like herself getting even with their boyfriends and husbands.
Rafael squirmed in his bed, naked, powerless against her, begging her for release.
How much would he remember in the mor
ning? Or would he think it was just a really hot wet dream? She toyed with him for nearly an hour, enjoying the power and control surging through her. Even more, she enjoyed knowing exactly what he wanted, as if she knew his body. Even though it was only in his mind, she saw his body, ran her hands all over him.
She enjoyed feeling his attention in return. In real life, she knew he was one hell of a lover. Probably even better than Matthias. It felt like she’d made love with Rafe countless times before, yet still felt passionate.
She smiled as he rolled over, his erection springing free from the sheets.
“Oh, naughty Rafe,” she whispered to him, bending her mouth to him, knowing even though it wasn’t real he felt her lips grip him, her tongue caress him.
He moaned as her own desire grew, knowing she was giving him pleasure.
She felt Matthias’ presence hovering near. Watching?
She hoped so. It would serve him right. She’d teach him not to use her as some damn guinea pig.
Rafael’s words at dinner suddenly came back to her. Matthias hadn’t marked her, wanted her to have free will to choose her path. And then Rafael moaned.
“Cassandra!”
Her stomach rolled as her own mind suddenly slammed back into alignment. This wasn’t how she wanted to be. If this was what power did to people, it wasn’t worth it. She did not want to control someone like this. Hurt someone with her powers just to get revenge.
That was enough to quench her desire faster than a bucket of ice water and pictures of dead puppies.
Unfortunately, she’d already done a damn good job of driving Rafael into a frenzied state of sexual limbo. She’d worked him to the point he clung to her mind, pleading with her for release, and she didn’t know how to extricate herself without finishing what she started. Feeling more than a little nauseous and self-loathful now, she gently pushed him away and allowed him to climax, not sure how else to break the connection without hurting him.
Taz felt his orgasm as if it was her own, heard him moan her name in his mind, and then she was able to withdraw without him clinging to her mind.
Oh, I’m going to be apologizing in the morning. From her to Rafe. No matter how mad she was, she had no right to do that to him. Especially after he’d opened up to her at dinner.
Dalton, Tymber - Love and Brimstone [Brimstone Vampires 1] (Siren Publishing Classic) Page 22
