Kataomoi

by Hildred Billings

  After the bulk of the party ended and Suzuki said his final farewells to everyone – Reina didn’t jump in, since their camaraderie had largely died since the promotion announcement – he waddled away with tears in his eyes. A few others took their leave before it became too late. Reina wanted to leave and get home to her girlfriend, but her section chief hadn’t gotten up yet.

  A good thing she waited for him.

  “Yamada,” he grumbled, the alcohol making him lethargic. “I’ve been meaning to tell you but haven’t had the chance…another promotional chance is coming up soon. It’s not as fancy as Suzuki’s, but it’s a pay raise. It’s for an assistant manager position in a lateral department.”

  Reina sat up in her seat. “Truly? You think I have a chance for it?” She bowed. “I appreciate your encouragement.”

  The section chief waved his hand at her words. “You’re a hard worker.”

  Then why didn’t I get this promotion? Reina shook it from her mind. No sense making herself upset again.

  When the section chief decided it was time to settle the tab and leave, Reina and the only other remaining person, Kimura, parted ways from him outside the bar. Reina was not in the mood to talk to her one coworker. Instead she focused on the street before her and thought of going home to a hot soak in the bath with Aiko.

  “Ano, Yamada-senpai…”

  Reina’s ears pricked in Kimura’s direction. “Yeah?”

  The man stopped in the middle of the alley, his long face pointed to the ground. “There’s something I want to ask you.”

  She halted her steps as well and turned to face Kimura. Soft light from a streetlamp drifted down on him and illuminated his hair and skin, although shadows claimed his features. Reina opened her mouth to speak again, but retracted the words in her throat.

  “Yamada-senpai…you don’t have a boyfriend, right?”

  Hoping she was too tired to understand his meaning, Reina answered with candidness. “No. I don’t.” She almost had one in middle school – a classmate had a crush on her and asked her out. Her idea of turning him down was by screaming “No!” and running home to her father.

  Kimura lifted his head. “I don’t have a girlfriend either.”

  “I know.” Haven’t we had this conversation before?

  “So…usually, men and women who don’t have either will…” He hid behind his briefcase.

  Reina rolled her eyes. “I would suggest that trying to look for a girlfriend at work is a bad idea.” She knew he didn’t deserve to be let down this easily, but what the hell. “Especially if she’s a professional. Management might not like it, and if your relationship falters, it would be really awkward to work with that person.”

  Kimura’s “hmms” were louder than the buzzing of the lamppost. “You’re really wise Yamada-senpai. I suppose you’re right. I should find a girlfriend from outside of work.”

  “That’s the spirit.” Reina slung her briefcase over her shoulder and continued toward the train station. “Maybe you can be like Suzuki and get your own Atsuko.”

  He smiled again, his mien blooming in sudden hopefulness. “I think I would like that one day!” His shoulders slackened. “If only I could find the right woman.”

  Reina made no comment. She had no desire to encourage this charade.

  Towns, mountains and fertile fields blurred past the window as Aiko and her friends barreled through the Chubu region en route to Osaka. The bullet train lived up to its name and left Aiko little time to look outside and enjoy the October foliage blanketing western Japan. At least it’s not my first time traveling by shinkansen. Nor was it her friends’, from the way they ignored the scenery and instead slept and gossiped with one another.

  After a boxed lunch full of tenpura, rice and vegetables, Aiko settled into her seat and flipped through a magazine Kari loaned her. Beside Aiko, Yatsumi argued with Mio over ways to promote equality while Mari put on her headphones and hummed show tunes.

  Aiko wouldn’t trade it for anything.

  Not even being home with Reina. I hope she’s not starving to death. Aiko left that Thursday morning, aware that Reina could more or less take care of herself through Friday night, even if it meant eating out and shoveling TV dinners into her mouth. That weekend, however, would test her fortitude. Michiko was due to visit. Aiko had reminded her girlfriend she was not to have sex with their guest. She trusted Reina, but only for so long.

  “Nee, Aiko-san?”

  “Huh?” Aiko lowered her magazine and met Yatsumi’s golden gaze. Today her hair was tipped in black.

  She ignored Aiko’s impoliteness. “I was saying that it is not enough for a woman to not be automatically fired upon announcing her marriage, but she must be afforded the same opportunities as her male colleagues from the beginning. Don’t you think so?”

  Aiko pursed her lips, the magazine falling into her lap. “Well…”

  “Your girlfriend works a salary desk job, doesn’t she?”

  Across the way, Mio grimaced. Although she and Aiko were not best friends by any stretch, they had a mutual affability as long as Reina wasn’t the topic of discussion. “She does.”

  “And don’t you think she should have every opportunity like her male coworkers?”

  “Of course! In truth, Reina has had two promotional opportunities since July.” Since September, Reina had been working hard again in the hopes of impressing her section chief. She didn’t go in early anymore, for which Aiko was thankful, but she did still come home with kinks in her shoulder and sleep in her eyes. Hard to imagine how quickly their love life crashed since those first two weeks living together. Now the only time they made furious love was on the weekends and sometimes early in the work week.

  “Two promotional opportunities?” Yatsumi’s eyes widened. “Oh, she’s really lucky.”

  Mio clicked her tongue. “It’s hard for me to imagine her being so…corporate.”

  Politely laughing, Aiko decided to let that stop there. She lifted her magazine and peered out the window as they pulled into a station.

  A few passengers got off, but even more got on. Such was every stop. They were fast approaching Nagoya, the main hub of central Japan, and the shinkansen cars would only get fuller with every stop along the way. Then it would start over again from Nagoya to Kyoto, and Kyoto to Osaka, their final destination.

  “I wonder what Hyogo Prefecture looks like in autumn,” Aiko mused as the train departed another station. “I hope there are lots of good colors.”

  Mio sank into her seat, her complexion taking on a dreamy quality. “Hyogo is beautiful any time of the year.”

  “Oh, you like Hyogo a lot, Mio-san? It’s my first time to visit it properly and not pass through.”

  “Of course I like Hyogo. It’s where Takarazuka City is, right?”

  Yatsumi coughed into her hand; Aiko smiled. That’s one reason to love a place.

  “There are other nice things about Hyogo, you know. Like Kobe,” Yatsumi chided her friend. She turned to Aiko. “She can be quite insufferable with her love for musicals, eh?”

  Aiko recalled her conversation in the bath with Reina, and how they deduced Mio acquired a love for takarazuka after losing her girlfriend. “I think it’s admirable there is something she loves so much. And besides, I can’t resent her for liking musicals. Thanks to you I’ve become quite a watcher myself.”

  “Oh, right, I heard you put a dent in Kari’s tape of Gone With the Wind.”

  A blush the size of her love smacked Aiko across the face. When both Yatsumi and Mio raised their eyebrows, she looked away. So many presents! “I liked it very much,” she squeaked.

  “Indeed.” With a heavy, pensive sigh, Mio leaned her chin upon her hand. “Whether it’s Yuki Amami or Yuu Todoroki playing him, Rhett Butler is the ultimate type.” She slunk further into her seat.

  So I guess I should not mention Reina playing Rhett Butler, then. Mio’s brain would have exploded into endless tears. Does she even know what the literary
Rhett Butler was like? Aiko was grateful for those changes made to the stage play – but granted Mio’s history, she probably wouldn’t mind an actual Rhett Butler type. Scary.

  “Make sure you don’t say those things around your queen Miki Maya, otherwise she’ll get jealous and not take your body’s weight in love notes.”

  Mio scoffed. “I would think her rendition goes without saying.” She sat upright. “Nee, Aiko-san, did I tell you I saw her in Gone With the Wind on the national tour earlier this year?”

  “Don’t let her get started.” Yatsumi leaned forward, her palm thrust into Mio’s face. “After she saw that show she was so smitten and randy.”

  “Randy! How dare you!” Mio batted away her friend’s hand and lowered her voice into a hiss. “This is public.”

  “Yeah, and it was public when you kept trying to dry hump me in clubs for a month.”

  “I never!”

  “She did! She really did!” Yatsumi pulled her T-shirt out of her baggy jeans and exposed a petite scar on her abdomen. “I got this from her belt!”

  “Yatsu!” Mio leaped up from her seat as if a tack jammed into her ass. “I don’t have to take this. I’m going to see what Mari is doing.”

  The twins were a few rows up, Kari still dozing against the window while Mari buried herself in a dirty novel covered in brown paper. Mio planted herself on the opposite side of them and immediately engaged Mari in conversation.

  Aiko repressed a devilish smirk. “Did Mio-san really do that to you?”

  Yatsumi fixed her clothing, unable to repress her own grin. “Yes. Not on purpose, obviously. But she can get really…ah, intense, when she’s needy like that.”

  A hint of pink graced Yatsumi’s otherwise pale cheeks. Curiosity won out over Aiko’s propriety. “You two don’t date, right?”

  “No. We’ve never dated.” Yatsumi cleared her throat and fumbled with the messenger bag in her lap. “She hasn’t dated anybody since your girlfriend.”

  Skyscrapers from Nagoya’s downtown district loomed in the zooming horizon outside Aiko’s window. The train slowed as it approached the metropolis’s main station. Dozens of people gathered on the platforms, mostly men in business suits, but also plenty of aunties on outings and children on school trips. Aiko decided she needed to satiate her overall curiosity before the train became packed with people. “Do you have kataomoi for Mio-san?”

  Bristling, Yatsumi shifted in her seat and bit the inside of her cheek. Mio laughed at Mari’s joke, one hand over her mouth. “She has a lot of issues she’s still working through.”

  She must if she thinks Rhett is the ultimate type. “Ara! That doesn’t answer the question!”

  “I don’t know!” Yatsumi yanked on her bag straps so hard she almost snapped them in two. “It’s futile, isn’t it? She isn’t interested in anyone ‘real.’ You heard her that one time.”

  Aiko rolled her eyes. “You should tell her how you feel anyway.”

  She expected Yatsumi to make excuses and change the subject, but she merely sat still in her seat, contemplating the opening doors and people getting on. Mio hopped up and returned to her assigned seat across from them. Yatsumi cleared her throat. “Maybe some other time.”

  The train departed again, Mio asking Yatsumi what she meant. Aiko buried her face in her magazine so she wouldn’t betray her friend’s kataomoi.

  * * *

  The moment a familiar silhouette passed by the cursed front window, Reina ran to the genkan.

  She intercepted Michiko there in the front yard, practically tackling her for a hug before kissing her cheek. Michiko laughed loud enough to alert a neighbor riding on a bicycle. “Ohisashiburi!” she said with a slap to Reina’s chest. “I’ve missed you too!”

  Reina acquired the guise of graceful hostess long enough to show her best friend into the house. Look at her! She took in a breath to reorient herself, gazing upon Michiko’s lithe figure clad in a baggy sweater falling off one shoulder. Reina couldn’t believe it had been nearly a year since she last saw her.

  “Sugoi! It really is a decent house.” Michiko shook off her boots and slipped into the guest slippers. “A bit old fashioned, but a good size! You really lucked out!”

  Hands in pockets, Reina remained near the genkan while her friend poked her nose into multiple rooms, some of them still not cleaned out. “It has two bedrooms.”

  Michiko grinned over her shoulder, white teeth complimenting her round, Western eyes. “You and Ai-chan only need one, right?”

  “Maa, of course.”

  After having her fill, Michiko followed Reina into the living area and sat at the dining table. Reina fumbled with the tea but managed to make it without setting anything on fire.

  “It’s getting weirder and weirder visiting Japan again.” Michiko accepted her teacup with a gracious bow. “At first it was weird moving back to America, but now that I’ve been there for so long, it’s weird coming back here.” She shook her head. “Even my Japanese is rusty.”

  Reina sipped her hot tea, unable to take her eyes off Michiko’s hair. The first time she visited after moving back to America, she had chopped it into a pixie cut and let her natural black color return. She claimed it was for Basic Training, but the stark contrast to the carefully kempt femme Reina knew and loved was startling. Now, four years later, it was back to a luscious bob, dyed a soft brown. I would never guess she’s in the military. Until she looked at the hard biceps, of course. “I think your Japanese is fine.”

  “Oh, good! My mother told me last night I sounded like a gaijin. I was starting to worry.”

  Reina forced a laugh. Michiko’s mother was not the type of woman to call her daughter a “foreigner” in jest. More like an insult.

  Michiko asked her about what was happening in life and love. For a half hour they chatted, drinking down tea without a thought while laughing at stories of Ni-chome and the fact that Shizuka, a mutual ex-coworker of theirs, was already on her second child. Michiko leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms over her breasts. Reina averted her eyes.

  It seems so long ago. Michiko was the first woman Reina confessed her feelings to and the first woman to turn her down. Reina had loved her, that much was certain. Back then Michiko was not just a best friend, but also her number one lover, the sole woman who could reassure her with both words and pleasure. Now their lovemaking was dictated by Aiko’s whims when she was willing to chaperone or partake in a threesome. But sometimes Reina still remembered that hurt Michiko had given her, the saddest parting gift.

  She turned me down because she was looking for her dead girlfriend. When Reina thought about it, her brain hurt.

  “What’s new in America?” Reina finished her tea and poured herself a new cup. “Any hot ladies I should know about?”

  Michiko flipped her hair and exposed the white of her throat. What I would give to kiss her there. No, not as long as Aiko was away. Reina promised not to fool around with Michiko until Aiko came home. Easier said than done when her heart wasn’t quickening with forgotten desires.

  “America is America.” Michiko motioned for more tea. “I’m considering buying a house. I dare say seeing this place of yours now has inspired me to take the step the moment I fly back.”

  “Eh? A house!” Reina wasn’t familiar with where Michiko lived in America, but she remembered it being one of the most expensive places. “Can you afford that?”

  “Hmm. Yes, I think so.”

  Reina studied her best friend’s dangling foot. “I didn’t think military people made that much money. Aren’t you only a…”

  “Lieutenant.” Michiko shrugged. “My father is rich. He gives me money.”

  “Ah.” Reina knew next to little about Michiko’s father, an American. Who is apparently loaded. Around the time Michiko reconnected with him in high school, she started walking around in designer clothes and bags. Daddy wanted to make up his absence to her, I guess. Reina couldn’t be jealous, considering how she and Aiko got their house. �
�How is it? Being in the military, that is. Do you shoot a lot of guns?” Reina couldn’t imagine it. Not her Mi-chan.

  However, that made her laugh. “Guns? Well, I can shoot them, but I rarely do. I’ve told you, I work an office job. I have for a year now. I play on computers and push documents around, just like you.”

  “Yeah, but I don’t do it for the American government.”

  “Well, no. But it’s really boring. I have to wear a uniform.”

  “So do I.”

  “And I have to call my superior various titles.”

  “So do I!”

  Michiko laughed again. “I guess our jobs aren’t so different. Except I’m trained to fire machine guns.”

  Reina downed another cup of tea. “You didn’t answer the other part. About ladies. You’re still fucking half the town, right?” Back in their day, Michiko had been almost as promiscuous as Reina. It was a badge of their dual honor.

  Michiko looked into the distance, her dark eyes whirling in mischief. “I don’t get to do that as much anymore. I have to be careful. There’s a thing called Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.”

  Reina stroked her chin. “I think I’ve heard of it on TV.”

  “So, it can be difficult to meet women, let alone sleep with them. But you know that’s not why I went back.”

  Yeah, your dead girlfriend. Reina could see Michiko crying about her as clearly as she could see Mio crying about being dumped. “You said you were lonely. I’m guessing you haven’t found what you were looking for, then.”

  Michiko’s eyes lit up. “Actually, I met someone.”

  “Really?” Reina’s heart both burst at the gossip and dropped into her stomach. “Who? An American, right?”

  “Yes, of course. I met her a couple of years ago, actually. But we haven’t talked much. In truth, we aren’t dating. I don’t even think she knows I exist. She reminds me of somebody…” A frown creased her face.

  A replacement for her dead girlfriend. A replacement Reina could never be. “If she doesn’t know you, how can you say you’ve met her?”

  “I suppose I can’t, not yet, anyway. But I like her. Thinking about her makes me happy.” Michiko snorted through a smile. “I must sound like some love sick teen.”