Shattered Strength: Shadowcrest Pack Series Book Two

by B. Livingstone

  “Fucking hell, Riley. It’s not a story I like to relive and telling it is just that. But you need to know everything before we take this any further. And that ass of yours, shoved in the air when you’re bent over, is making it really fucking hard not to take this further. My wolf wants you in that position, naked, ass up, hair in a ponytail to hold, while we claim you as ours. And you should know how hard it is to fucking hold him back. He’s like a dog being teased with a new bone that he can’t yet have. Makes him a whiny fucker, Riley.”

  Enzo

  “Enzo,” Riley stammers out breathlessly. My words affecting her as much as myself. Dropping my arms, I take a step back. Confused and a bit irritated, she spins on her heels to confront me. I pick up my phone in one hand while raising my other in the air to halt her protests.

  “If I’m going to do this sharing thing, I’ll need a distraction.” Lewis Capaldi starts to sing from my phone, counting days, counting days since my love up and got lost on me. Walking over to Riley, I take her hand in mine and spin her, pull her into me, and begin to dance close.

  “Is that Lewis Capaldi’s Bruises? Enzo what kind of story is this?” she questions.

  “One of love and loss. Of betrayal and sacrifice.” Riley rests her head on my chest, releases my hand and wraps her arms firmly around me, as though she can hold me together, protect me from the past. Strangely, I feel safe in her arms, like the memories can’t hurt me as long as she’s with me. I find myself wanting to share this with her, to not have to carry this alone. Before I know it, I’m spilling every last memory.

  “I was married once before,” I quietly state knowing she’s going to jump on that. Riley does not disappoint; her head immediately snaps up and her eyes are huge. Smiling, I continue, “Let me finish before you react or say anything, please.” She nods her head and lays it back down, waiting for me to go on. Just as Before You Go by Lewis Capaldi begins to play, the memories begin to take hold.

  “Laura, I am going to marry you one day. Just you wait and see,” I declare to my mate.

  “Enzo, you’re only fifteen years old. How can you know that?” Laura questions me.

  “You’re my mate, can’t you feel it?”

  “What does it feel like?”

  Pulling Laura into my lap as I sit at the base of our Willow tree. I caress her cheek and stare her in the eye so she will see the depth of my feelings for her. “When I’m around you nothing else exists for me, you’re it. When I’m not around you, I can’t fucking breathe. All the air is where you are. When I see you, hear your voice, or smell your sweet scent my heart skips a beat. Every time. You’re my first and last thought of every day. The beginning and end of me.”

  Leaning in, I take her lips and pour every ounce of my feeling into that connection.

  “Marry me, Laura,” I plead.

  With a tear tracking down her cheek, Laura whispers, “Yes.”

  “And so we were, right after we both turned eighteen. We were wed and five months later I was deployed overseas.” Taking a second to let the memories settle, we continue to dance and I pull Riley a little closer, borrowing some of her strength to go on, which she gives freely.

  “We promised to write to each other every day and video call as much as possible. Which was great, until it wasn’t.”

  “Enzo, I need to tell you something. I don’t really know how to say this,” Laura’s voice wavers.

  “Laura, baby, whatever it is, it’s going to be okay.”

  Laura picks up what looks like a little printed picture, but it’s mostly black and hard to see in a video chat with a poor connection. We’ve been apart for three months now and this is our first chance to see each other.

  “Enzo, I’m pregnant.” She turns the picture around and holds it to the camera. It’s an ultrasound picture of my baby. My baby. I can see his head and little feet. My baby.

  I feel the trace of wetness on my face as my vision starts to blur and I whisper, “My baby. Gods, Laura.”

  “Enzo. I’m so sorry.”

  “Fuck no, baby. Don’t you be sorry. Look at that little baby. We created that. Fuck, I’m gonna be a daddy!” I exclaim loudly. Laura starts to laugh and it’s a beautiful sound.

  I run to the edge of the tent and poke my head out and shout, “I’m gonna be a daddy!”

  “Our video calls ended too soon but the letters with inserts of ultrasound pictures continued while I was deployed for the next six months. I had made it home on leave between tours for his birth but had to redeploy only a few days later. Then the pictures of Declan came instead. Laura was great at keeping me involved, making it as if I were there rather than thousands of miles away. This went on for two years, through multiple tours and urgent missions. Then one day the letters stopped and the video calls never connected.”

  Hold me while you wait begins to play and I can feel Riley’s tears soaking into my shirt. She feels what’s coming.

  “Two months later, I was granted emergency leave to go back to the States and check on them since we couldn’t reach anyone. Not my parents, her parents, friends, or any other family.” My breathing begins to quicken as the onslaught of memories burst free of their steel boxes and I’m suddenly drowning under the weight of them. I sink to the floor, Riley following me down as I break.

  Driving onto the pack lands found in the Cibola Forest in Albuquerque, New Mexico the smell of death hangs heavy in the air. My wolf is restless and becoming more agitated the further in we drive. “Easy. We need to get to the house and find out what’s going on,” I tell him and myself. Pulling into my driveway, I see Laura’s car. The front door to the house is hanging open. From outside the curtains look torn and there are red smears across the door and one window.

  I throw the truck in park and jump from the cab, racing to the door only to come to an abrupt stop in the doorway. Furniture is broken, tables upended, pictures broken on the floor that used to hang on the walls. But that’s not what caused me to freeze, frozen in my tracks. No, what stops me is what I find on the floor by the door, something I could never have prepared for. At my feet is the body of what looks to be a small child, maybe two or three years old half shifted into the form of a wolf. Less than four feet from him is a woman’s remains, arm and hand outstretched towards the child, straining to reach him. The dried blood smeared across the floor shows how hard she fought to reach her child.

  Head spinning, breath frozen in my lungs, my knees break and I’m sinking to the floor. I tentatively reach out and touch the hands of Laura and Declan as my whole world shatters.

  “They were gone. All of them, fucking dead. Murdered. Most of their bodies were unidentifiable. That’s where Reed found me, sitting in the doorway of that house 16 hours later. He forced me up and out of the house. I don’t remember much of what happened the few days after that. He arranged my discharge and his. He started his security business, where I tried to work, but my anger was too strong and I needed an outlet for it. I tried drinking away my pain, which worked until it didn’t. After that I tried drugs, got into the street stuff more than the prescriptions. When that stopped working, I tried both. That’s how we met Cree, Wilder, and Axel.

  “Wild was celebrating a win with a few bunnies at Cree’s and I was in a piss-pot mood. All of his positive energy and excitement was pissing me off so I decided to fuck with his night. I picked a fight over one of his bunnies that I had no interest in and Wild, with his mouth, wouldn’t back down. I ended up beating the shit out of him, and Axel, who just happened to be there, fixed him up. Cree threatened to ban me from the bar but Reed smoothed the whole thing over somehow. The next day Reed helped me get this gym set up and scheduled some fights so I could deal with my anger in a safer and more controlled environment. He’s been by my side ever since.”

  We shifted our seating so we were sitting against the pillar side by side. She was holding my hand so tightly as though she thought I would run, but I had no desire to run from her.

  “There was only one body w
e didn’t find, the beta. The only thing we found in his place was a note.”

  “What did it say?”

  “The consequences of not falling in line. Enclosed with pictures of our alpha bound and forced to watch while his wife, daughters, and grandson were murdered. Then after all that was one last picture of him in pieces.”

  “Your alpha, was he your father?”

  Looking Riley in the eyes, I whisper, “Yeah.”

  “Enzo, I don’t know what to say.”

  “There’s nothing to say, Riley. It’s in the past. And until that traitor is found, I’d like to leave it there. I just want you to understand. I never thought I’d have a second mate in my life, or that I’d want to chance another relationship after everything I’d lost. I didn’t just lose my pack, my parents. I lost my mate, my son, my life. I couldn’t protect them and that fact has been killing me inside. I died a little more with every day that passed, for the last four years. Until I met you.”

  Riley’s eyes meet mine; they’re shining with the light reflecting off the unshed tears pooling in them. Those eyes are also filled with understanding and compassion, not the pity I was expecting to see. “Riley, the day I met you and followed you into that Gods forsaken alley, I felt like I was starting to feel, to live again. All those feelings I felt holding you in my arms, then kissing you when you woke up, they were unexpected and fucking scary as hell. I’m sorry I hurt you when I ran from you, I didn’t know how to process what was happening. I still don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.”

  “Can I tell you a secret?”

  “Sure, Riley. I am the keeper of many secrets.”

  “I’m fucking terrified of this, too,” she states with a smile.

  Riley and I sit on the gym floor till the sun goes down. She shares her story with me and now I want to go find this Alastair fuck and fucking murder him. I can understand where she’s come from and why she spiraled as far as she has. She has dealt with so much betrayal, loss, and heartbreak in her short life.

  I am fucking pissed for her. My body hums with the adrenaline-fueled rage building inside me. I don’t know what to do with that anger. Peering around the room I hunt for a place to put my feelings.

  Standing, I move over to a bag and start to beat it. Riley moves in behind me and wraps her arms around my waist, rests her cheek between my shoulder blades halting all movement from me. “Enzo, it’s okay. I’m okay now. Besides, I wouldn’t change anything. If I did, I may have never met you or the guys. I think Grace was right that everything in life has a purpose, even if we can’t see it or understand it at the time.” Turning in her arms, I wrap her in a tight embrace. I wish I could share in that sentiment but I just can’t believe there was a purpose to my son and wife being murdered. Even if it did lead me here, to her.

  Chapter Six

  Riley

  I left Enzo in his office to go over the gym's books, one set of accounting books is enough for me. I also needed to go for a walk and clear my head. I couldn’t get the image of Enzo on the floor of his old house, sitting beside the bodies of his dead wife and son, out of my head. The thought alone sent me into a rage.

  Mindlessly walking down the streets of Vancouver, I find myself in front of Reed’s office building, only a few blocks from Enzo’s gym. Needing a change of pace, I decide a visit is in order, seeing as he never offered to give me a tour. The inside is very minimalist in fashion with a lot of gray and white décor, not a single plant or wall decor. There’s an L-shaped reception desk as you enter the front door, minus the receptionist. To the right is a waiting area with two gray couches facing each other and a simple glass coffee table between them. Something tells me he doesn’t have clients waiting there often considering there is no form of entertainment for while they wait.

  Turning left down the only hall I hear quiet whispers coming from the office at the end. It’s the only room lit with light streaming into the hall. I can only hear Reed’s side of the conversation, so I figure he must be on the phone. Stopping in the hall to wait for him to finish up, I hear the name Alastair come from Reed. What the fuck?

  Listening closely, I try to pick up more of his conversation.

  “If he’s not on his pack lands, I need to know where the hell he is. Do you understand me? Good, just find him.”

  Fuck, Alastair isn’t at home. Where is he? Did he find me? Does he know Grace is alive? Fuck, fuck, fuck!

  My breathing intensifies and my pulse begins to race as I try to wrap my head around this new information. I need to get out of here.

  Calm. My wolf tries to soothe my racing mind.

  “Riley?” Reed’s concerned and confused voice pierces my thoughts, “What are you doing here?”

  “Not eavesdropping that’s for sure,” I mutter quietly, “I, ah, needed some air so I went for a walk and found myself out front and just thought I’d stop in and say hello. So, hello and I’ll just, well…” I point my thumb towards the front door as I attempt to get off the wall that has been holding me up since my freak out began.

  “You don’t have to go. Come on, I’ll show you around.” Reed takes my hand and I immediately begin to feel calmer, more centered.

  Reed leads me on a tour of his office showing me the restrooms, conference room, spare office room, and supply room. My favorite, the training room, where I would love to sit in the corner and watch him do his thing. Looking Reed over, my mind flashes back to the first time I saw him, arms crossed over his bare chest, muscles rippling as he raked his eyes over my body. Hot, tight, large… Fuck!

  Mate. My wolf chimes in with an unhelpful suggestion.

  Would you cross your legs please? I understand you’re ready and that my body obviously is too, but I am not. I swear she just rolled her eyes at me… fucking wolves.

  Heading back towards Reed’s office I confess the reason for my visit. “Enzo told me his story. He had a wife and son, Reed. I just, I don’t know how to process that.”

  “He loved them, very much, Riley. But they are his past. He’s working to move forward. To let go, for himself and for you.”

  “But he didn’t lose them, Reed. They were fuckin’ taken from him. It wasn’t a choice he made. If this whole mate thing is going to work I can’t compete with a ghost.”

  Spinning me to face him, Reed responds with more authority than I have ever heard, “Riley, hear me when I say this. I mean really hear me."

  Startled by his stern expression I only nod my head to indicate I am listening.

  "What Enzo did today, telling you his story, about his wife and son is monumental. He has never told another living soul about his past. I only know because I found him there that day and I’ve been helping him deal with his anger and pain since."

  His face softens as he rests a hand on my heart. "If he didn’t have feelings for you or didn’t want this bond. He never would have opened up to you. He knows this won’t work otherwise. You of all people can relate to the pain and anger he faces every day from the loss of his family. Am I wrong?” Shaking my head no, I think about what he’s saying. He hasn’t shared his pain and anger with anyone except me and Reed. Does that mean he trusts me? Does he really want this to work between us? Is he really trying to move forward? I’m sure Reed can see the turmoil racing through my mind as he watches me closely.

  “Riley, stop overthinking this. You can no more control what Enzo does then he can you. It will all work out the way it should, just let it happen.” Pulling me in closer, he wraps me in his arms, protective and comforting. “Love and relationships can’t be forced, Riley. We all feel the pull to you, and you’ve admitted to feeling the pull with each of us. We all need to embrace and build upon the connections we feel, to embrace each other.”

  Wrapping my arms around him, I place my hand flat against his back. I can feel the area beneath my hand tense before he speaks again. “Riley, do you want this? This connection with each of us? To be our mate?”

  His lungs feel frozen in place, as though he’s waiting for
me to answer before he takes another breath. “Breathe, Reed,” I tell him and his body sinks into mine as he releases the air he locked inside. “Yes, I want this. I just can’t do the whole, you are my mate so let’s mate thing. And yes, my wolf has a few choice words to say about the matter. I’ve gotten enough eye rolls from her over the last few weeks. If she had her way we’d all be in bed together fucking like bunnies every night.”

  Reed laughs at that as he takes a step back. “I don’t know about that last part but the part about being in bed together doesn’t sound half bad. I wouldn’t mind waking up in the morning to your beauty.” The smile he flashes my way is magnificent, mesmerizing, one you have to return.

  Smiling, I walk over to where he leans against his desk, ankles crossed and hands braced at his sides on the desk. “Oh yeah?” I bracket his legs with mine as I shimmy closer, sliding my hands up his chest coming to rest on his shoulders. “You wanna wake to this mess every morning? I don’t know, Reed. That just sounds like trouble if you ask me. You see I’m a bed hog, and a blanket hog. My toes are always cold. And I’ve been told, I talk in my sleep, when I’m not snoring.”

  Reed laughs again this time a full-on belly laugh and I can’t help but join him. He gathers himself and places his hands on my hips lifting me so I can wrap my legs around his waist. “Truth is, I snore too. I also hog the bed and blankets, so we’ll have to cuddle so we can share the center of the bed.”

  Sliding one hand around to the nape of his neck I lean and whisper in his ear, “Okay.” Before I kiss just behind his ear, eliciting a shiver even I can feel to pass through his body. “A little sensitive there, huh?” I whisper again before hopping down and backing towards the door with a grin on my face. “Good to know,” I state with a wiggle of my eyebrows.

  With a chuckle, I exit Reed’s office as he shakes his head at my antics. “See you later, Reed,” I call to him.