Plays

by Anton Chekhov

NATASHA [agitated]: I’m sorry, Olya, I’m sorry ... I didn’t mean to upset you.

  [MASHA gets up, takes a pillow and goes out, angry.]

  OLGA: You must understand, my dear ... perhaps we were brought up oddly but I can’t stand it. Behaviour like that brings me down, I become ill ... I simply give up! ...

  NATASHA: I’m sorry, I’m sorry ... [Kisses her.]

  OLGA: Any rudeness, even something small, a roughly spoken word upsets me ...

  NATASHA: I often say too much, that’s true, but you must agree, my dear, she could live in her village.

  OLGA: She’s been with us for thirty years.

  NATASHA: But now she can’t work! Either I don’t understand something or you don’t want to understand me. She is not capable of working, she only sleeps or sits.

  OLGA: Then let her sit.

  NATASHA [surprised]: What do you mean let her sit? But she’s a servant. [With tears in her eyes] I don’t understand you, Olya. I have a nursemaid, a wet-nurse, we have a maid, a cook ... why do we need that old woman as well? Why?

  [Offstage the fire alarm is sounded.]

  OLGA: Tonight I’ve aged ten years.

  NATASHA: We must come to an understanding, Olya. You’re at the Gymnasium, I’m in the house, you have teaching, I have the household. And if I say something about the servants, then I know what I’m saying; I know what I am saying ... And tomorrow I want that old thief, that old hag out of the house ... [Stamps her feet.] That old witch! ... I will not be provoked! I will not! [Pulling herself together.] Really, if you don’t move downstairs we’re always going to be quarrelling. It’s terrible.

  [Enter KULYGIN.]

  KULYGIN: Where’s Masha? It’s time for us to go home now. They say the fire is dying down. [Stretches.] Only one block has burnt down, but there was a wind and at first it seemed the whole town would go up. [Sits down.] I’m exhausted. My dear little Olga ... I often think, if there hadn’t been Masha, I would have married you, Olechka. You’re very nice ... I’m worn out. [Listens.]

  OLGA: What?

  KULYGIN: He had to go and do it, the Doctor went on a bender, he’s got terribly drunk. He just had to go and do it! [Gets up.] I think he’s coming in here ... Can you hear? Yes, here ... [Laughs.] Really, what a funny fellow he is ... I’m going to hide ... [Goes to the cupboard and stands in the comer.] What a rascal!

  OLGA: He hasn’t drunk for two years and now he’s suddenly gone and got drunk ... [Goes with NATASHA to the back of the room.]

  [Enter CHEBUTYKIN; he crosses the room without reeling, like a man not drunk, stops, look about, then goes to the washstand and begins to wash his hands.]

  CHEBUTYKIN [glumly]: To hell with them all ... all to hell ... They think I’m a doctor, can treat all kinds of illnesses, but I know absolutely nothing, I’ve forgotten everything I knew, I remember nothing, absolutely nothing.

  [OLGA and NATASHA go out without his noticing.]

  To hell with them. Last Wednesday I had a patient at Zasyp, a woman - she died and it’s my fault that she died. Yes ... Twenty-five years ago I knew a few things but now I remember nothing. Nothing. Perhaps I am not a man but only look as if I have arms and legs and a head; perhaps I don’t exist at all but only think that I walk, eat, sleep. [Weeps.] Oh if only I could just not exist! [Stops weeping; gloomily] Devil knows ... A couple of days ago they were chatting in the Club; talking about Shakespeare, Voltaire ... I haven’t read them, haven’t read them at all, but I tried to look as if I had. And the others did what I did. How cheap! How low! And I remembered the woman I murdered on Wednesday ... and I remembered everything, and I felt I was morally deformed, vile, loathsome ... I went off and hit the bottle ...

  [Enter IRINA, VERSHININ and TUZENBAKH; TUZENBAKH is wearing new and smart civilian clothes.]

  IRINA: Let’s sit a moment in here. No one will come in.

  VERSHININ: If it hadn’t been for the soldiers, the whole town would have burnt down. Good boys! [Rubs his hands with pleasure.] Pure gold! What good boys!

  KULYGIN [going up to them]: What time is it, my friends?

  TUZENBAKH: Already after three. It’s getting light.

  IRINA: They’re all sitting in the hall, no one is leaving. And your friend Solyony is sitting there too ... [To Chebutykin] You should go to bed, Doctor.

  CHEBUTYKIN: It’s all right ... Thank you ... [Combs his beard.]

  KULYGIN [laughs]: Ivan Romanych has got quite tiddly! [Claps him on the shoulder.] Good chap! In vino veritas3 - as the ancients said.

  TUZENBAKH: People keep asking me to organize a concert for the benefit of the fire victims.

  IRINA: Well, who could you have ... ?

  TUZENBAKH: With a bit of will it could be organized. I think Marya Sergeyevna plays the piano beautifully ...

  KULYGIN: She does play beautifully.

  IRINA: She’s forgotten it all now. She hasn’t played for three years ... or four.

  TUZENBAKH: In this town absolutely no one understands music, not a soul, but I, I do understand it and I honestly assure you that Mariya Sergeyevna plays splendidly, she’s almost got a real gift.

  KULYGIN: You’re right, Baron. I love Masha very much. She’s lovely.

  TUZENBAKH: To be able to play so superbly and at the same time to know that no one, no one appreciates you!

  KULYGIN [sighing]: Yes ... But is it proper for her to play at a public concert?

  [A pause.]

  You see, my friends, I don’t know anything about these things. Maybe it will be all right. I have to admit our Principal is a good man, even a very good man, he’s very clever, but he has such particular views ... Of course it isn’t anything to do with him, but still if you like, I’ll have a word with him.

  [CHEBUTYKIN picks up a china clock and examines it.]

  VERSHININ: I’ve got quite filthy in the fire, I look like I don’t know what.

  [A pause.]

  Yesterday I heard a rumour that they’re planning to transfer our brigade somewhere far off. Some are saying to the Kingdom of Poland, others to Chita.4

  TUZENBAKH: I heard that too. Well then! Then the town will be quite empty.

  IRINA: And we will be leaving!

  CHEBUTYKIN [dropping the clock, which breaks]: To smithereens!

  [A pause; everyone is annoyed and embarrassed.]

  KULYGIN [picking up the bits]: Really, Ivan Romanych, Ivan Romanych - breaking such a valuable object! Zero minus for behaviour!

  IRINA: It was Mama’s clock.

  CHEBUTYKIN: Perhaps it was ... Mama’s clock was Mama’s clock. Perhaps I didn’t break it but it just looks as if I did. Perhaps we just think we exist but really we don’t. I don’t know anything, no one knows anything. [By the door.] What are you looking at? Natasha is having a little affair with Protopopov but you don’t see anything ... You just sit here and don’t see anything, and Natasha is having a little affair with Protopopov ... [Sings] ‘Won’t you sample a date from the palm-tree ...’5 [Exit.]

  VERSHININ: Yes ... [Laughs.] Really, how strange it all is!

  [A pause.]

  When the fire began, I quickly rushed home; I go up and look - our house is safe and sound and out of danger, but there are my two little girls standing on the doorstep in just their night clothes, their mother isn’t there, people are rushing about, horses and dogs running free, and what a look of fright, terror, supplication, I don’t know what, on those girls’ faces; my heart was wrung when I saw those faces. My God, I thought, what will these girls still have to live through in the course of a long life! I grab them, I run and all the time I’m thinking one thing: what will they still have to live through in this world!

  [The alarm; apause.]

  I come here and their mother is here, shouting, angry.

  [MASHA comes in with her cushion and sits down on the divan.]

  And when my girls were standing at the door in just their night clothes and the street was red from the fire and the noise was terrifying, I thought that it must have been something l
ike this many years ago when an enemy attacked suddenly and pillaged and burned ... At the same time what a difference there is in reality between what is now and what was! And when just a bit more time goes by, say two or three hundred years, people will look at our life today both with alarm and with mockery, everything we have now will seem clumsy and burdensome and very inconvenient and strange. Ah, what a life that will surely be, what a life! [Laughs.] I’m sorry, I’ve begun to talk philosophy again. Let me go on, my friends. I terribly want to talk philosophy, I’m in the mood for it.

  [A pause.]

  You all seem to have gone to sleep. I was saying, what a life it will be! You can just imagine ... In this town now there are only three people like you, but in the generations to come there will be more, more and more, and a time will come when it’ll all change your way, everyone will be living your way, and later still you too will become obsolete and people will be born who will be better than you ... [Laughs.] Today I’m in a strange kind of mood. I have a passionate longing to live ... [Sings] ‘All to love the knee must bow, bounteously love’s blessings flow ...’6 [Laughs.]

  MASHA: Tram-tam-tam ...

  VERSHININ: Tram-tam ...

  MASHA: Tra-ra-ra?

  VERSHININ: Tra-ta-ta. [Laughs.]

  [Enter FEDOTIK.]

  FEDOTIK [dancing]: Burnt, burnt! Quite cleaned out!

  [Laughter.]

  IRINA: There’s not much to laugh at. Is everything burnt?

  FEDOTIK [laughing]: Cleaned out. Nothing is left. My guitar is burnt and my photography things are burnt and all my letters ... And I’d got you a notebook as a present - that’s gone too.

  [Enter SOLYONY.]

  IRINA: No, please go away, Vasily Vasilyich. You can’t come in here.

  SOLYONY: Why is the Baron allowed in and I am not?

  VERSHININ: We really should be going. How is the fire?

  SOLYONY: They’re saying it’s dying down. No, I find it decidedly strange that the Baron is allowed in and I am not. [Takes out his bottle of scent and sprinkles himself.]

  VERSHININ: Tram-tarn-tam?

  MASHA: Tram-tam.

  VERSHININ [laughing, to Solyony]: Let’s go into the hall.

  SOLYONY: Very well, I’ll just make a note of this. ‘My thought could well be made more clear, but that would scare the geese I fear ...’7 [Looking at Tuzenbakh] Cluck, cluck, cluck ...

  [Goes out with VERSHININ and FEDOTIK.]

  IRINA: That Solyony has smoked the house out ... [In astonishment] The Baron’s asleep! Baron! Baron!

  TUZENBAKH [waking up]: Actually I’m tired ... The brick factory ... I’m not talking in my sleep, I really will soon be going to a brick factory, I shall be starting work ... I’ve already had a discussion with them. [To Irina, tenderly] You’re so pale, so lovely, so entrancing ... Your pallor seems to illumine the darkness like the light ... You are sad, you’re dissatisfied with life ... Oh come with me, come away and let’s work together!

  MASHA: Nikolay Lvovich, go away.

  TUZENBAKH [laughing]: Are you here? I can’t see. [Kisses Irina’s hand.] Goodbye, I’ll go ... I look at you now and I remember how, long ago, on your name-day, you were talking of the joys of work, full of enthusiasm and cheer ... And what a vision I had then of a happy life! Where has it gone? [Kisses her hand.] You have tears in your eyes. Go to bed, it’s already getting light ... morning is coming ... If only I were allowed to give up my life for you!

  MASHA: Nikolay Lvovich, go away! Really ...

  TUZENBAKH: I’m going ... [Exit.]

  MASHA [lying down]: Are you asleep, Fyodor?

  KULYGIN: What?

  MASHA: You should go home.

  KULYGIN: My sweet Masha, my darling Masha ...

  IRINA: She’s exhausted. Let her have some rest, Fedya.

  KULYGIN: I’m going right away ... My good wife, my wonderful wife ... I love you, my only ...

  MASHA [crossy]: Amo, amas, amat, amamus, amatis, amant.8

  KULYGIN [laughing]: No, really, she’s astonishing. I’ve been married to you for seven years, but it seems as if we only got married yesterday. I swear it. No, really, you’re an astonishing woman. I’m happy, I’m happy, I’m happy!

  MASHA: I’m fed up, fed up, fed up ... [Gets up and talks from a sitting position.] I just can’t get it out of my head ... It’s simply outrageous. It’s a nail hammered into my head, I can’t not say anything. I mean about Andrey ... He’s mortgaged this house to the bank and his wife has grabbed all the money, but the house doesn’t belong just to him but to all four of us! He must know that if he’s a decent man.

  KULYGIN: You’re really looking for trouble, Masha! Why, why? Andryusha is up to his neck in debt, so good luck to him.

  MASHA: However you look at it, it’s outrageous. [Lies down.]

  KULYGIN: You and I aren’t poor. I work, I go to the Gymnasium, then I give lessons ... I am an honest man. A simple man ... Omnia mea mecum porto,9as the saying goes.

  MASHA: I don’t need anything, but injustice outrages me.

  [A pause.]

  Fyodor, go.

  KULYGIN [kisses her]: You’re tired, have a little rest for half an hour, and I’ll sit down at home and wait. Have some sleep ... [Walks off.] I’m happy, I’m happy, I’m happy. [Exit.]

  IRINA: Really, what a trivial man our Andrey has become, he has lost his way and become really old in the company of that woman! He was once aiming at a professor’s chair, and yesterday he was boasting that finally he’s become a member of the District Council. He’s a member of the Council, and Protopopov chairman ... The whole town is talking and laughing, and he’s the only one who knows nothing and sees nothing ... And now everyone has rushed off to the fire and he sits in his room and pays no attention. He just plays his violin. [Fretfully] Oh, it’s terrible, terrible, terrible! [Weeps.] I can‘t, I can’t stand any more! ... I can’t, I can’t! ...

  [Enter OLGA and tidies things up by her table.]

  [Sobs loudly.] Throw me out, throw me out, I can’t stand any more! ...

  OLGA [alarmed]: What’s the matter, what’s the matter? Darling!

  IRINA [sobbing]: Where, where has it all gone? Where is it? My God, my God! I’ve forgotten everything, everything ... My head is all muddled ... I don’t remember ‘window’ in Italian, or ‘ceiling’ say ... I forget everything, every day I forget something, and life slips away and will never come back, we will never, never go to Moscow ... I can see we won’t go ...

  OLGA: Darling, darling ...

  IRINA [pulling herself together]: I’m so unhappy ... I can’t work, I’m not going to work. I’ve had enough, enough! I used to be in the Telegraph Office, now I work in the Town Council and I hate and despise every single thing they give me to do ... I’m already twenty-three, I’ve been working for a long time, and my brain is dried up, I’ve become thin and ugly and old, and nothing, nothing gives me any satisfaction, and time is going on, and I keep on thinking I’m moving away from any genuine, free life, moving further and further away, into some abyss. I’m in despair, and I can’t understand how I’m alive, how I haven’t yet killed myself ...

  OLGA: Don’t cry, little sister, don’t cry ... it makes me wretched too.

  IRINA: I’m not crying, I’m not crying ... I’ve stopped ... There, I’m not crying. I’ve stopped ... Stopped!

  OLGA: Darling, I tell you as a sister, as a friend, if you want my advice, marry the Baron!

  [IRINA is crying quietly.]

  I know you respect him and think highly of him ... True, he’s not good-looking, but he’s so decent and honest ... After all, we marry not for love but just to do our duty. At any rate that’s what I think, and I would marry without being in love. I would accept whoever proposed, provided only he was a decent man. I would even marry someone old ...

  IRINA: I’ve been waiting. We were going to move to Moscow and there I would meet my true love, I dreamed of him, I loved him ... But all that’s turned out to be nonsense, all nonsense ...

 
OLGA [embracing her sister]: My darling, lovely sister, I understand it all. When Baron Nikolay Lvovich left the army and visited us wearing a civilian jacket, I found him so ugly I even cried ... He asked me, ‘Why are you crying?’ How could I tell him! But if God made him your husband, I’d be happy. You see that’s something quite different, quite different.

  [NATASHA crosses the stage from the right-hand door to the left-hand one, carrying a candle and without saying anything.]

  MASHA [sitting down]: She’s walking about as if she’d started the fire.

  OLGA: You’re silly, Masha. You’re the silliest one in our family. I’m sorry.

  [A pause.]

  MASHA: My dear sisters, I want to confess. My spirit is heavy. I’ll make my confession to you and then to no one else, ever ... I’ll say it right now. [Quietly] It’s my secret, but you have to know everything ... I cannot be silent ...

  [A pause.]

  I love, I love ... I love this man ... You’ve just seen him ... So. In a word, I love Vershinin ...

  OLGA [going behind her screen]: Stop it. I can’t hear you, anyway.

  MASHA: What can I do! [Clutching her head.] First I thought he was strange, then I was sorry for him ... then I fell in love with him ... I loved him for his voice, his speeches, his unhappinesses, his two little girls ...