Andy's Song

by Beth Burnett

  “So, do we pick him up and put him somewhere, or pretend this hasn’t happened?”

  “What the fuck?” Some woman comes running over and kicks the drunk guy. “I’m so sick of you always getting drunk and passing out!” She aims another kick at his prone body. He groans a couple of times, but doesn’t move.

  Danny stands up. “Okay, let’s do this.”

  I stand up to help him. The woman has the man’s car keys out of his pocket by the time we get over to him. Danny is speaking to her in his soft, caring voice. I wish I could master that. He is the picture of sincerity. Of course, he means it, which makes it a little easier to believe. I think he just cares about people way more than I do. I care about people, sure, but mostly only the ones I have let into my life. Strangers don’t really pull my heartstrings. Danny has his arm around the woman’s shoulders. A waiter has approached me and we are trying to heft the drunk guy up. He isn’t waking up. I check his pulse.

  “He’s not dead, just drunk. What should we do with him?”

  Another waiter comes over, followed by a guy who can only be the manager. “Let’s put him in the conference room until we can get him in a cab.

  The woman has calmed down considerably since talking to Danny. “I’ll go pull the car around and if you would just help me get him into the car, I’ll take him home. He can sleep it off in the car.”

  I help the waiters haul the guy up and drag him out to the front door. The woman drives up in a four door car. I open the back door and we manhandle the guy into the backseat. The waiter bends the guy’s legs and forces them in as I push the door closed. Good enough. The woman drives off and the waiters go back inside. Danny and I sit down on a bench.

  “Nice work back there,” he says.

  “You too.”

  “I’m the mediator, you’re the one who handles the hard labor.”

  “Not always. Remember when you punched Joe?”

  He chuckles. “He richly deserved it.”

  “Yes, how dare he call me a dyke?”

  “You can call yourself a dyke. He doesn’t get to do it for you.”

  I put my arm around Danny. “For the record, I do like you.”

  He kisses me on the cheek and stands up. “For the record, I love you. I consider you my family.”

  We go back inside to find Davey and Heather deep in conversation. They stop when we approach the table.

  “Our heroes,” Davey says.

  Heather winks at me and smiles. I suddenly want to skip dinner and take her home. I’m feeling all macho and excited.

  “We went ahead and ordered while you two were being all heroic.”

  Heather nods. “Davey said she knew what you would want.”

  “Probably true.”

  I take a long gulp of my beer and lean back in my chair. Heather and Danny are laughing with each other. Davey keeps smiling at Heather. I think she likes her, but she’s keeping her at a distance. She has always been a bit standoffish with women I’ve dated.

  Davey and Danny are drawn to each other. He touches the back of her hand to get her attention, she moves closer to him when she speaks. They lock eyes and smile often. I’m trying not to be jealous, but I can see the love as we’re sitting here. When the food arrives, they share bites with each other. Of course, Davey and I have that, too, and we have had it for a lot longer. Still, I think I’m beginning to see the difference between the kind of long-term friendship love that Davey and I have and the romantic love between the two of them.

  “So, Heather,” Davey is saying.

  I drag myself back to the conversation.

  “We’ll have to get together soon and have lunch.”

  Heather smiles. “Of course.”

  “I’m pretty slammed at work right now with the post-fundraiser clean up, but maybe we could get together in the beginning of August?”

  “I’ll be at the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival in August. We’ll just have to work around it.”

  Danny raises an eyebrow. “That’s pretty controversial, isn’t it?”

  I’m surprised. “Not really. It’s just a group of women getting together in the woods to camp and listen to music.”

  Heather glances at me. “It’s far more than that. Have you ever been?”

  “Never in my life. Camping isn’t for me.”

  “You could rent an RV.”

  “Still not interested.”

  Davey looks intrigued. “Of course I’ve heard of it, though I never thought about going.”

  Danny shakes his head. “It’s trans exclusive.”

  Heather shrugs. “It isn’t about excluding anyone. It’s about creating a safe space for women to go and be completely free of all of the perils and irritations of the rest of the world for a short time.”

  “Without trans people.”

  Davey speaks carefully. “Danny, I would think that you wouldn’t want to go seeing as how it is meant for women.”

  “I wouldn’t want to go,” he says adamantly. “I just don’t think it’s right that trans women aren’t allowed in.”

  Heather is angry now. “Danny, what happens when a woman who has been sexually abused looks up in the showers and there’s a dick in front of her?”

  “Seriously, how often do you think that happens?”

  “It doesn’t matter if it only happens once. It’s once too often.”

  Danny shakes his head. “A woman who was born in a man’s body is a woman.”

  “So where do you draw the line? What happens if some guys just dress like women and say that they were born in the wrong body?”

  “I guess you have to do it on a case by case basis.”

  “And who’s going to do that, Danny? Who’s going to be in charge of the screening process?”

  I hold up my hands. “Hey, settle down everyone. I can see where Danny is coming from. If we are all in agreement that trans people are unfortunate victims of a biological snafu, then don’t trans women have the same right to be in a safe space for women, too?”

  Davey shakes her head. “I’m sorry, Danny, but I don’t agree with that. Heather is right. There are all sorts of places that are meant for like people to get together. Men have groups that are just for men. Trans people have trans camps and parades. I know a deaf woman who goes to gatherings that are only for deaf people. No one is accusing them of being exclusionary.”

  “That’s totally different,” Danny says. “By excluding trans women from the festival, you are basically saying that they aren’t real women.”

  “Danny,” Heather says softly. “They were not raised as women. They have male bodies. They did not suffer from female oppression.”

  “So suffering is a prerequisite? What about completely put together women who haven’t been raped or abused or oppressed? Are they still allowed to go?”

  “Okay, everyone.” I put my arm around Heather and put my hand over Danny’s. “Maybe we should just agree to disagree on this one. Let’s just put it aside.”

  Danny looks sideways at Davey. “I’m kind of surprised to hear the anti-trans speak coming from you.”

  Davey glares at him. “That’s bullshit! I think it is safe to say that I am most adamantly not anti-trans. That’s like saying that when a group of black people want to get together, they are anti-white. Not true. They just want a place where they can meet and commune in regard to one thing that they all have in common. Why shouldn’t women be allowed to have that, too?”

  Heather looks at me. “I didn’t mean to start anything.”

  “I know you didn’t. It’s just I have some great friends who are transgendered, and I think it is shitty to cast them out of the female experience just because they weren’t born female.”

  Davey puts her fork down. “Andy, I can’t believe we haven’t had this conversation before.”

  “I can’t believe you’re coming down on that side of it.”

  Danny puts his hand over Davey’s. “Andy was right. We should all agree to not discuss this an
ymore.”

  Heather looks at him. “Danny, I don’t want you to think...”

  He holds up a hand, cutting her off. “Really. I don’t think we should discuss it anymore.”

  Heather nods. Davey looks at Danny once and then squeezes her fingers around his. Danny looks down at his plate sadly.

  I signal the waiter and ask for the check. Davey starts to say something, but stops.

  Finally, I can’t stand the silence. “So, I’m not sure this is a great time to mention this, but I’m having a dinner gathering on Sunday, if you two are available.”

  Davey touches Danny’s hand. “Andy told me on the phone. I forgot to mention it.”

  Danny looks at her. “Sounds good.”

  I look at Heather. “I hope you aren’t working.”

  “I’m working until five. What time does it start?”

  “Five fifteen.”

  Heather laughs. “Seriously.”

  “Seriously. Come over after work.”

  “Can you make it five forty-five so I have time to change out of my uniform?”

  Davey laughs. “Oh, I don’t know, it might be a new trend.”

  “I can see it now. The grocery store look!” Heather is giggling.

  The idea is ridiculous, but adorable. “Maybe you can bring your apron over later and help me find the kale.”

  Danny shakes his head. “Hey, I don’t care what you do in the privacy of your own home, but if it involves grocery store fantasies, leave me out of it.”

  Everyone laughs. I can tell that Davey is still looking at Danny out of the corner of her eye. I’m betting that discussion isn’t over. I look over at Heather. She’s smiling, but she looks subdued.

  The waiter brings our check, and we quietly settle up and say our goodbyes. I escort Heather out and see her into the passenger side of the SUV. Glancing at her as I pull out of the parking lot, I notice she looks thoughtful.

  “Hey. What are you thinking about?”

  She smiles at me. “Just processing the whole evening.”

  “Any specific parts?”

  She shakes her head. “It was interesting to meet Danny. I’ve never really spent time around any trans people.”

  “Danny is a good man. I care about him a lot.”

  “Even though Davey is in love with him and not you?”

  “Davey and I are best friends.”

  “But you have feelings for her that go beyond friendship?”

  “It doesn’t matter. We have been friends for over thirty years. What I may have felt doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.”

  “It does to me.”

  “Why is that?”

  “Because if you’re still in love with her, it could affect how we move forward.”

  I take her hand and kiss it. “You need to know this. Davey and Danny may have met and fallen in love and moved in together in a month, but that is not my style. We are on a date. It has been a good date. But it is a date. I don’t want to discuss the future.”

  She runs her finger over my wrist and grins. “So does that mean talking about what you’re going to do to me when we get back to my place is off limits?”

  I growl at her. “Oh, that far into the future is fine.”

  We race back to her place and I chase her up the stairs to her apartment, watching her small, round butt as she trips lightly up the stairs in her high heels. My arms are around her before she finishes unlocking the door, and I’m picking her up and carrying her to the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind me as I go. She has one arm around my neck while the other starts working at my tie, pulling it down far enough for her to press her lips against my throat.

  I push her down onto the bed, laying my full weight carefully on her. We’re looking at each other, breathing hard. Her eyes slowly close as her hand relaxes its grip on my tie and moves to stroke my head. She pulls me down harder as her hips begin to undulate and her hands grip tighter around my head.

  Grinning as I feel her fingers scrambling fruitlessly for purchase on my shaved head, I sink my teeth into the skin on her neck while pressing hard against her. I part her legs with one thigh, moving against her with my hips. My teeth are all over her neck and shoulders, giving little bites and following each of them with a slow kiss. She’s starting to make little noises in the back of her throat that urge me to move faster, but I want to prolong this. I want to explore her for as long as possible. I lift up a bit to pull her dress up over her hips, slowly, but she pushes me, half sits up and pulls the whole thing over her head. I unhook her bra and press her back against the bed, nuzzling against first her right breast, then her left.

  My teeth, lips, and tongue are everywhere. I want to taste everything. She’s moaning louder now, grinding her hips up against my thigh, pressing her wetness against my skin. Moving my face back up to her mouth, I softly kiss her, letting my tongue slip into her mouth, rolling it along the inside of her lips. I slide my hand between our bodies and slip my fingers inside of her, using the heel of my hand to put gentle pressure on her clit. She groans and sinks her teeth into my bottom lip. My hand is moving in circles, while my fingers reach deeper into her. She has one hand in a death grip on the back of my neck; the other is pressed down against my hand, pushing me harder against her. She’s moving against me, pressing me down, guiding my hand to just the right spot.

  My mouth is exploring hers, and my hand is bringing her closer. As I find just the right combination of pressure and release, she groans again, yanking down on my neck, shuddering hard underneath me. I stay inside of her, kissing her lightly as she gets her breathing under control. She’s stroking my head and making little loving noises under her breath. When she finally catches her breath, I lift off of her a bit and remove my hand, curling her into my arms. She nestles her head under my chin and sighs.

  “You’re wonderful,” she mutters.

  “We’ve just begun.”

  “Give me a couple of minutes.”

  “Of course.”

  I move my arm out and quickly strip off my clothes. Debating about the tie, I decide to leave it close to the bed, just in case. We cuddle and chat and make love and talk some more. Hours later, I’m ready to pass out. She’s amazing in bed. She’s kind of cool outside of bed, too. I really like her. She’s smart and funny and isn’t willing to put up with my usual crap. Not that I am looking for a girlfriend or anything right now, but it might be nice to have a regular thing for a while. I give her shoulder once last kiss before I drift off to sleep

  Chapter Eight

  Driving home from Heather’s place, I can’t keep the stupid grin off of my face. She is a sweet one, that’s for sure. I’ve got my mind on her long legs and the swing of her red hair. Turning out of her parking lot, I flip in “Court and Spark” and sing along with Joni. I think about calling Davey, but for some reason, it doesn’t feel right to do the post-date playback with her this time. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because of the feelings that passed between us. Maybe I just want to savor my time with Heather a little bit longer. Rolling the windows down as I drive, I let the music wash over me as I replay the night in my head.

  Heather was amazing, pushing me off her at one point, straddling me and having her way with me. Not usually one to relinquish control, I gave up and let her take me beyond my usual comfort zone. I don’t know what it is about this woman, but I’m willing to ride the wave for a while and enjoy the feelings. The noise of my cell phone is barely audible over the music. I flip down the volume and pick up the phone.

  “Hello.”

  The sweet voice of Renee. “Hey.”

  “Renee, my darling. Talk to me.”

  “You talk to me. You sound chipper.”

  “Chipper? Is chipper really a word that can be used to describe me?”

  “Perky?” She’s laughing.

  “Perky! Perky? I am pretty sure I have never been perky in my life.”

  “You sound pretty perky. Let me guess. A new woman?”

  “I
did go on a date last night.”

  “It was obviously pleasant.”

  “It was pleasant.”

  “I’m pleased. Be kind to her. It will make you happier.”

  “I’ve never been cruel.”

  Renee sighs. “I love you, Andy. What’s on your docket for today?”

  “A hard workout and a smoothie. After that, anything is open. Why? What’s on your mind?”

  “Yoga. I want you to come with me.”

  “Yoga isn’t really my thing. Why don’t we go get a big juicy burger instead?”

  “Why don’t we go do yoga and then I’ll buy you a burger?”

  “What’s with the yoga all of a sudden?”

  “It’s not sudden. I’ve been going for years.”

  “I mean for me. You’re the second person to mention it to me this week.”

  “I ran into Leah in town last night. We discussed it. It might help center you.”

  “A. I don’t like people talking about me behind my back. And B. I am centered.”

  “We’re just worried about you.”

  “I’m perfectly fine.”

  “Something is missing. Yoga will help.”

  Renee. I shake my head at the phone. If I don’t agree, Leah will be on the phone next.

  “I could use some muscle relaxation after last night.”

  “I’ll pick you up in an hour.”

  “I’ll be ready.”

  The call is over about the time I pull into my parking lot. Forget the hard workout. A quick shower and a smoothie send my energy soaring. I really have no interest in yoga, but it will be nice to move around and I want to talk to Renee.

  She pulls up to my door and taps the horn, but I’m already jogging out and jumping into her car. She gives me a sidelong look.

  “I brought an extra mat.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Thanks for coming with me.”

  “Not like I had a choice.”

  “None at all. Leah is going to meet us there.”

  We head across town to the yoga studio. Renee grins at me as we take off our shoes and enter the class. Leah waves from across the room and motions for us to spread out mats out next to her.