Scarred by Love

by C. A. Harms

  Mark came in followed by the waitress. She was carrying a tray of shots. Yeah this could be good. I needed to stay calm. I stumbled when I saw Riley at the party, this time I needed to be less frantic.

  “To Zander landing the girl of his dreams…cheers.”

  I flipped off Cody and tipped back the shot glass.

  We each had three shots and by the time eight o’clock rolled around I felt less spastic. Beth snuck out to get us all a beer to have on stage and once she got back it’d be show time.

  She came back in carrying four beers and when our eyes connected she winked. My heart raced and I felt pumped. Riley was out there somewhere and I was ready to make an impression.

  We only played Gilbert’s two nights a month and every time we do it gets packed. They seemed to love us and we equally loved their energy.

  We made our way to the stage as the waitress Kami announced the band.

  “Let’s give a Gilbert’s welcome to The Deadly Storm.” Whistling and squeals erupted as I strapped my guitar over my shoulder. I knew she was out there but I made the conscious decision to focus on my song. Mark started with the introduction music while Beth played the keyboard.

  I took a deep breath, “How’s everybody doing tonight?”

  “Whew Yeah…Z,” someone yelled from the darkness.

  “Well we’ve been working on some new songs this past week. Song’s that uh…we normally don’t play so we’re gonna break um out for ya tonight.” Whistles once again with a few comments that would embarrass the normal person but I forced forward.

  “This first song makes me think of a certain girl.” Squeals erupted throughout the bar and I fought my grin. “Yeah…” I chuckled, “Stormy by Hedly…It really wasn’t just a cheesy pickup line.”

  Chapter Eleven

  ~Riley~

  I felt my heart race the moment I saw Zander walk onto the stage. The second he spoke into the microphone…my stomach tightened. “Oh my god,” I whispered which only caused Kate to question me.

  “What?”

  “That’s him, Zander.”

  Her eyes went wide and she smiled, “Holy Fuck Ry, he’s hot, babe.”

  I took in his words and when his voice filled the bar I melted. He sang about Stormy eyes and my chest tightened instantly.

  “Stormy eyes,” Kate questioned, “Is he talking about you?” I couldn’t answer her, I just nodded my head. “Damn Riley if you don’t want him…I’ll take him.” We came here alone but Carson was meeting us here along with a few of his friends later.

  Kate and I sat in a booth off to the left side of the stage and I had the perfect view of Zander. He wore torn and frayed jeans with a tight fitting red t-shirt. He had his hair all spiked going in every direction and he looked completely mouthwatering. Zander sang one more song before the shaggy haired guy took over. I watched as he played along with the band. His expressions were addicting. He would close his eyes and bite his lip as he played.

  The way his head would rock side to side on certain beats was so sexy. When he approached Beth and together the two of them did a solo together I watched them closely.

  Zander made my heart flutter more in the first hour I was there then it had in the last year.

  “This band fuckin’ rocks man. Have you heard them before?” Pearce flopped down next to me hollering across the table as Carson slid in next to Kate.

  “Well you guys missed his dedication to Riley…seems Zander up there has a thing for our girl.”

  All eyes were on me and I knew my cheeks were red. Thank goodness for the dark room.

  “Zander…seriously Ry? That dude is cool as hell.” I turned to face Carson a little shocked that he said that about a guy that liked me. Usually his defenses were up.

  “He’s had a pretty shitty couple years though man. It’s a shame about his mom.”

  I faced Pearce, “What happen to his mom?”

  “Cancer.”

  My heart sank as I looked back up to Zander. His back was to us and I watched his shoulders flex under his shirt as he continued to play.

  The last song Zander joined once again to sing alongside the other guy. His voice gave me chills and I caught myself closing my eyes to focus solely on the soothing tone. When it was gone I missed it…I could have listened to him all night and still needed more.

  They switched on the overhead stereo so that the band could have a break as they each stepped slowly from the stage. My heart raced once again when Carson yelled out for Zander.

  “Z…What the hell have you been up to man? No football this year?” Carson stood up grabbing Zander’s hand and doing the whole guy hug slapping one shoulder thing that they always share.

  “Not after I hurt my back last season. It wasn’t worth the pain every time I took a hit, I work out with the team still but that’s about it.” His eyes scanned the group until he found me.

  He smiled at me followed by a wink. “Hi Riley.”

  Carson leaned back against the table, “You know that’s my little sister you’re lusting after?”

  “No fuckin’ way…Riley’s your sister?”

  They both laughed and Carson introduced Zander to everyone. Pearce even got up and told Zander to sit down next to me.

  When he slid close his manly scent filled the area. He leaned in close and his mouth was near my ear. “What’d you think?”

  Before I could answer Kate spoke up, “I think it was the sweetest thing.”

  I laughed, “Zander meet my best friend Kate. Kate this is Zander.”

  She smiled and he chuckled, “Well thanks Kate. Your friend here,” He nudged his thumb in my direction, “She’s a tough one.”

  I laughed and glanced up, surprised when my eyes connected with Grant’s across the room. It had been weeks since I talked to him. He looked pissed and stood with his shoulders squared. He was drinking a beer, which was odd because he told me he never drank. He also wore torn jeans and had on a baseball cap backwards.

  Grant was built completely different from Zander. They are both tall but Grant was built more like a swimmer. Zander definitely had the body for football.

  He was watching us and I wondered if he would cause trouble. When a blond with the barely there shorts sat on his lap blocking his view I was thankful. I knew he was in fact the person I thought he was.

  “Do you want a drink Riley?”

  I looked up at the waitress who stood next to us. I hadn’t even heard them all ordering their drinks. Kate chimed in once more. “She’ll have a tall glass of ‘Sex on the Beach’.” I glared at her and she laughed.

  “Bitch.”

  I shook my head and noticed Zander watching me from the corner of my eye. I bit my lip and faced him. I was really close to him, closer than I had been in the past. The moment I looked into his eyes my chest tightened. I know now why Grant’s eyes had always seemed familiar to me. They shared the same ones. They just did something to my insides when they were Zander’s.

  “Can I get you to walk outside with me? It’s really loud in here and I kinda wanted to talk to you.” Zander held his beer bottle tightly and waited for me to respond.

  “Okay.”

  His grin spread across his face as he stood, “Carson I’m gonna borrow Riley for a few minutes. We’ll be right back.” Carson just nodded in agreement and Zander guided me through the crowd toward the doors.

  Once we walked outside we stepped around to the side of the building.

  “Listen Riley, I wanna apologize for the way I acted toward you that day at the house. That place and those people get to me and I took it out on you. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said before I left. Grant just isn’t the good guy. I just hated to see you two together. You’re too good for him.”

  His size over powered me. He was tall and built. The way his lips formed his words was so appealing. I had a hard time focusing on what he was actually saying. This feeling that I had flowing through me at this moment was exactly what was missing when I was with Grant. The raci
ng heart, the sweaty palms and the magnetic pull to touch him was so strong. I squeezed my hands into fist next to me and leaned back against the wall.

  Zander leaned forward placing a hand against the wall next to my head. “Do you forgive me for acting like a complete ass that day?” I nodded my head and watch his lips curl into a sexy grin. He licked his lower lip softly, “Good, because I was hoping that you and I could maybe get to know each other. That would be kinda hard if you spent every day avoiding me because of my jerkish ways.”

  His eyes flickered to my lips, “I like you Riley. You’re different, you’re sweet and I really wanna spend more time with you if you’ll allow me to.”

  I don’t know what possessed me but I pushed forward off the wall. This brought our lips only inches apart because he was hunched over me. “I think getting to know each other sounds great. Can we start now?”

  My heart was racing but I pushed it further. I gripped his shirt with my fingers and pulled him closer. I could feel his breath against my lips. “What were you thinking?”

  “I was actually thinking that maybe you could kiss me.” I smiled, “I mean if you wanted to.”

  Once again his tongue traced his lower lip, “You have no idea how much I want to kiss you Riley.” Zander fingers ran up into my hair and pulled me to him. The moment his lips touched mine I melted into him for support. Zander’s other hand grabbed my hip and squeezed me.

  He kissed me with such smoothness. The feeling of his lips lingering over mine just for seconds before once again touching mine was so sexy. I needed more though. I laced my fingers together around his neck and pulled him tightly against me.

  When I brought my tongue out to run along his lip a deep moan escaped him. At once his tongue grazed mine and I became putty; instant mush through and through, because holy hell this boy could kiss.

  “Z, I don’t mean to interrupt but we go back on in two minutes.”

  We both turned to find Beth smiling so big I was sure her cheeks had to hurt from it.

  “I got it Beth. Fifteen seconds, that’s all I need.”

  She never said anything more as she snuck away. The moment she was gone Zander gripped both of my hips and pulled me tightly against him. “One more kiss…just one more.”

  I giggled and his lips took mine over once more. When he pulled back I felt dizzy.

  “Damn,” He mumbled and shook his head. “Fuckin’ sweet.” I blinked in confusion and he grinned. “Just one more kiss who the hell was I kidding? One kiss will never be enough.”

  He blew out a long breath and took my hand in his pulling me back toward the bar. I couldn’t stop smiling. Of course when we reached the table Kate noticed.

  “Holy hell, you have those just kissed lips Riley. You two were just making out weren’t you?”

  My cheeks felt hot and I could hear Zander chuckle next to me.

  “You’re gonna stay right?” Zander asked and his eyes watched mine closely. I nodded, “Yes.”

  There was no way I was leaving. I was gonna need him to kiss me again, just like he did outside. Hot damn! If I hadn’t been such an idiot I could have been having those kisses for over five weeks now. He leaned forward placing a kiss on my cheek before walking back towards the stage.

  “Hey Kate, I’ll be right back. I wanna use the restroom before they start again.”

  I had forgotten all about Grant being there until I heard my name being called. When I turned around he was walking toward me. He looked different from the way he was with me. He seemed almost the opposite of what he pretended to be around me.

  “I figured it was another guy Riley, but my brother? Come on are you trying to humiliate me?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  He laughed, “Well he’s singing you songs and you two were making out outside. So how long were you seeing both of us?”

  I rolled my eyes at him, “You’re a jerk. You had me fooled for a while but you really aren’t the nice guy I thought you were. For your information I met Zander before I even knew who you were. Tonight is the first night we have…you know what? I don’t owe you an explanation.”

  I turned around going back to the table to listen to the band. I chose to ignore Grant and his accusations. I wasn’t going to let him ruin my night. I told him I just wanted to be friends. He was the one that kissed me in front of everyone at his parents’ party. I know it was only to get to Zander and I wasn’t a toy he could play with.

  Kate sensed my aggravation, “Ouch what’s with the nasty ass look?”

  “Grant’s here.”

  Her head started flipping around working the room until I saw her eyes squint and her nose wrinkle up. “What did he say to you?”

  “Oh ya know, just basically wanted to know how long I had been playing him and Zander. He thinks I was dating both of them at the same time.”

  “What a dick. And what’s with his get up. I don’t think I ever seen him wear anything with a tear or rip in it the entire time you two dated. The fact that he has a t-shirt on is crazy, I thought the only thing that boy owned was button up shirts.”

  Now it was my turn to laugh. “Well I guess the Grant I was dating wasn’t the real Grant after all.”

  When Zander’s voice flowed from the speakers my attention was solely on him. He winked and I felt like a groupie. I felt fluttery and giddy. My stomach tightened and my heart raced once again. I think he could tell he had an effect on me because he couldn’t stop smiling.

  I wondered what it would be like to hear Zander’s voice singing in my ear. Imaging him holding me close and that soothing sexy voice against my neck had my cheeks feeling flushed. There was something about seeing him in all his hotness, rocker style that made me wanna just attack him.

  “You’re drooling Ry…” Kate laughed and Carson rolled his eyes.

  I took the opportunity to make Carson uncomfortable for once. “Sorry I was just admiring his mouth…so damn sexy. I have this strong urge to just lick ‘em.”

  “Really Riley…Fuck really, I’m right here and I don’t wanna hear about it.”

  “Oh, so you screwing my best friend in the room next to me night after night is okay?”

  Kate and I both laughed when Carson got up from the table and went toward the bar.

  I let my eyes scan the bar and watched as a few girls made their way to the edge of the stage. They were directly in front of Zander when they started dancing with one another. Their hands roaming over each other and at one point the shorter girl ran her tongue over the other girl’s upper chest.

  “Oh please.”

  “What?” Kate shot me a look of confusion. She must have picked up on what I was referring to quickly. “Nasty.”

  “I guess we’re just getting a front row seat to what female on female looks like…and I’m disgusted.” My eyes flickered to Zander’s and he got major bonus points because his eyes weren’t on the bimbo’s in front of him. They were on me…I smiled before I could stop it.

  Damn…the Zander effect was an awesome high. How could I have ever been a bitch to him? I instantly felt horrible for all the things I had said to him, all the mean thoughts I had. Every time he winked at me my heart raced.

  Chapter Twelve

  ~Zander~

  I could tell I was being put through some sort of girl test. Riley was watching me closely and occasionally her eyes flashed to Carrie and Miranda. These girls were regulars and have made several attempts to gain Cody’s and my attention every time we played. They all knew Mark and Beth were together so they hounded the two single guys. If I had my way maybe I wouldn’t be single anymore.

  To be honest I couldn’t even take my eyes off Riley. Those gorgeous legs of hers were spilling out from under her little skirt. I’ve never wanted to get a gig done faster more in my life than I had at this moment. The kiss we shared was still racing through my mind and I wanted more. I was feeling extremely greedy. It felt great to have something to smile about. The last couple years have really been rough, bu
t for once something great may have stumbled into my life.

  “You all have a safe night.”

  Cody ended the night winking down at the swarm of girls hanging out at the edge of the stage. I couldn’t get my guitar put away fast enough. I was at the side of the stage rolling up the cords when I felt a hand slide across my lower back.

  I turned and was face to face with a blond girl that was wearing entirely too much eye makeup.

  “You have a really sexy voice.”

  I forced a smile, “Thanks.”

  I shot a look in Riley’s direction and noticed her back was to me. She was talking to the group she showed up with. I had to get rid of this chick. The last thing I needed was for Riley to think I picked up bar girls. “So you wanna hang out. We can go back to my place…or yours.”

  “Sorry I um…got a girlfriend.”

  Blond girl laughed, “Well I won’t tell her if you don’t.”

  Fuck…she needed to back off and go hit up Cody. He would be all up on this. I was about to tell her to walk away when I saw Riley approaching cautiously. I couldn’t stop myself from watching her movements. She was a gorgeous girl but she didn’t act like she was.

  “So what do you say…wanna sneak away with me?” Blond chick was still not getting the hint. Did she not notice my attention was fully focused on someone other than her?

  “You may not tell her…but I’m still not going home with you.” My grin spread wide as Riley reached blond girl’s side.

  I reached out my hand and took hers.

  “Hey.”

  I pulled Riley to my side and chose to completely ignore the girl still standing in front of us. When Riley looked up at me my stomach tightened. I wanted to kiss her so fuckin’ bad but I wanted to play it cool too.

  “Wanna grab a bite at Sony’s…my treat?” Riley’s smile was like a quick high, you couldn’t help feeling good when you got to witness it.

  “As long as I can get cheese fries.”

  I chuckled, “Baby, you can get whatever you want.” This time I did kiss her. Just a quick one but hell it felt good.