Scarred by Love

by C. A. Harms

  “Grant, slow down…what’s the rush?”

  When he took a step back for a moment he seemed frustrated, but it changed quickly. “Sorry Riley, it’s easy to get carried away kissing you.”

  I smiled at his comment, “Well, it took you over two weeks to kiss me. It shouldn’t be hard to pace yourself…right?”

  He shook his head, “Pace…slower, I got it.”

  I turned to unlock my door and felt his hand touch my lower back. I spun around to face him once more. Grant really was attractive I couldn’t understand why I didn’t feel more into him. His thumb skimming over my arm caused me to look up into his eyes.

  “Next Saturday, my parents are having a celebratory business lunch at our house. It’s kind of a big deal with my dad. I wanted to ask you if you would be my date.”

  “Of course, I’d love to.”

  We ended the night with the agreement of Grant picking me up at eleven next Saturday.

  ***

  I spent my week with my stomach in complete knots. I regretted agreeing to have lunch at Grant’s parents. I debated all week about calling to cancel. I had decided I would go but I needed to tell him that I felt we should just remain friends. There was something lacking within our relationship or whatever you wanted to call it and I needed to be honest with him.

  I stopped by Macy’s Café to grab a Latte before heading home to work on a paper. Walking toward my car I was digging in my bag to find my keys and I heard a screech of tires. At once a cool splash of water covered my entire right side.

  “Oh shit…I’m so sorry.”

  I looked up at the asshole sitting on the street bike idling just five feet from me.

  “Damn it…did you ever think to watch where the hell you were going? Seriously?”

  I was attempting to brush off my pants with the napkins I had in my bag. The biker was completely silent. What the hell was he gonna do, just sit here and watch me clean myself now?

  “What?”

  I couldn’t see his face behind the face-shield of his helmet but I could just imagine his smug look. Jackass…

  He slid his helmet off slowly and when he looked up I almost passed out. “Zander…hmm, it figures it would be you. It’s just the kind of week I’m having.”

  I brushed past him toward my car. Why was I so infuriated at him besides the obvious puddle bath he just gave me?

  “Wait Riley…damn I really am sorry. I tried to stop when I saw you and then the puddle came out of nowhere. It was too late.”

  I threw my bag into the back seat, “I gotta go.”

  “Let me get you a new coffee or something. I feel like such an ass…please let me at least do that.”

  “No thanks, besides I’m sure your girlfriend wouldn’t appreciate you buying another girl a coffee. Oh wait. You don’t give a shit what she thinks do you? I mean you are the same guy that hit on me and then ten minutes later danced around singing to your girlfriend.”

  I crawled into my car and jerked the handle to shut the door. When it stopped abruptly I looked up into his face. He seemed confused as his eyebrows scrunched together.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about Riley. I don’t have a girlfriend.”

  For a moment I almost fell for it.

  “Let go of my door.”

  And he did, without saying another word.

  I slammed it and drove away frustrated. Why in the hell are guys such assholes? It is a gene they carry? I swear if you have a penis then the “Complete Asshole” gene is present.

  ***

  Saturday morning when I woke I had an awaiting text from Grant.

  I can’t wait to see you

  I blew out a deep breath and made a promise to myself that I would talk to him today. I needed to let him know I just wasn’t feeling anything more than friends between us. How do you tell a guy that without sounding like a complete bitch?

  I was getting used to finding my brother walking around our apartment. Kate and Carson have been going strong for almost five weeks now and he stays here most weekends. They were cuddled on the couch when I walked out of my room. “Hey guys.”

  Carson let his head rest against the couch looking back at me, “You got plans with buzz kill today?”

  Kate elbowed him in the ribs and he groaned. “What?”

  I couldn’t help but laughed, “It’s okay Kate, he’s right, Grant is kind of boring.” I flopped down next to them in the recliner. “I’m pretty sure I’m gonna tell him I just want to be friends. I’ve tried to feel something, anything when I’m with him but…nothing.”

  “Oh Ry, I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t worry about me Kate…I’m not sad I just don’t want him thinking it’s more ya know.”

  They both looked at me without saying anything and just then the doorbell rang. I forced a smile, “That would be him.” I stood and walked toward the door.

  Grant stood in the doorway smiling back at me. He handed me one single red rose and my heart instantly sank. Damn it, why couldn’t I feel something for him?

  “You look beautiful Riley.”

  He kissed my cheek and guided me out of the opened door.

  When we pulled into the driveway of the huge house that his parents owned I felt my chest tighten.

  “You ready?”

  He started to open his door and I stopped him. “Wait…please.”

  He looked at me with a confused expression. “Everything okay?”

  I took a few calming breathes before I answered him.

  “Grant I need to talk to you. I don’t want to go into your parent’s house under false pretenses. I like you, I do. But if I’m being honest with myself and with you…I think we’re better friends than a couple.” I saw his jaw tighten and for a moment I felt a little thrown by his expression. I didn’t expect him to get angry. I was trying to be honest with him. “I just needed to tell you before things went any further. You are such a good guy, Grant, you really are. I just think that we’re better as friends.”

  His eyes flipped back to the house in front of us. He continued to stare forward, “Okay.”

  “Okay?”

  He chuckled, “Ya… okay. I mean I can’t get mad at you for being honest, can I? Let’s just go in here and have lunch with my parents as two good friends that have a good time together.”

  I nodded my head, “Sounds perfect…thank you.”

  Chapter Eight

  ~Zander~

  I decided today was the day I would go get my check from the prick. I felt good about the fact that I was going on my own free will and not because he asked me to.

  When I pulled up in front of the house and saw about twenty five cars in the driveway it just made it better. All my Sperm donor’s friends were here, this should be fun.

  Walking up the drive I spotted the fucktard’s BMW and fought the urge to kick it. The greatest thing about having a dad that can’t keep it in his pants is that not only did he knock up my mom…he knocked his wife up at the same time. I was cursed with the half-brother from hell.

  Grant, the perfect son, living in his perfect house, with his perfect little family.

  I needed to get this shit over with.

  I pushed through the door and looked around. This house just pissed me off. All the years my mother and I lived in a two bedroom shithole…Grant got to live it up here.

  “Zander…what are you doing here?”

  Time to put on my asshole suit, “Hey Vic…how’s life with your cheating husband?” I brushed passed her in searched of Mr. District Attorney himself. Victoria gripped my elbow as I walked passed. “Let go of my arm…Now!”

  “Zander I think you should leave.”

  “Well thanks for your opinion but personally I don’t give a fuck what you think.”

  I heard her gasp as I walked toward the open glass doors leading out to the backyard. I had one person I was looking for and he was about fifteen feet away. When he looked up his eyes opened wide and he walked quickly in my direction. />
  “Son, I didn’t expect you today.”

  “Again, don’t call me “son”…and I’m here for my check. Get it quickly and I won’t embarrass you in front of your groupies.”

  He hung his head for a short moment and then reached out to squeeze my shoulder. “Follow me.”

  The moment I turned back toward the house my eyes connected with her…Riley. What the fuck was she doing here with these people?

  Grant stood next to her with his hand resting on her lower back. When he looked over and saw me he tensed and pulled Riley closer to him. He smiled just before he bent down and kissed her lips briefly.

  I felt anger boil seeing him with her. I barely knew the girl but I knew that Grant of all people didn’t deserve her. She was too pure. Grant was the biggest fucking joke and he shouldn’t be allowed to touch her. I took a step toward them when I saw Riley step back. She crossed her arms over her chest appearing irritated. She followed his line of sight and then her stormy eyes connected with mine. She looked between Grant and me a few times before saying something to Grant.

  “Do you know Riley?”

  My father threw me off and I stumbled with my reply. “Uh…um yeah. How does Grant know her?” I had a feeling I already knew the answer but I waited, hoping I was wrong.

  “Oh Riley and Grant have been dating for about a month. She is a very sweet girl.”

  FUCK! Exactly what I feared. That fucktard was the biggest ass. He played girls and then dropped them like they meant nothing. He throws around his father’s money and gets the girls, charming the pants right off every girl he meets.

  When Riley spun around and walked toward the house I couldn’t stop myself from following.

  I found her in the front yard near the driveway. She had her back to the house. I slowed just before I reached her. “So Grant huh?” I couldn’t hold back the laugh, “You do know he’s a fuck ‘em and leave ‘em kinda guy right?”

  When she whipped around glaring at me I regretted saying it.

  “What does he have that I don’t Riley? I mean you ran away from me so fast that night at the party because you thought I was spouting off cheesy pickup lines. How did he convince you to date him? Was it the BMW or maybe the expensive gifts?”

  “Maybe it was the fact that he didn’t have a girlfriend waiting on the side lines. How do you two know each other anyway?”

  What the fuck was she talking about? The whole girlfriend thing I still hadn’t figured out. “The Douchebag and I share the same fucked up dad.” Her eyes grew two times in size as it sank in that we were brothers. “And for the second time…I don’t have a girlfriend. We had a moment at that party. I know you thought so too…I could tell. I wasn’t trying to get laid like you think I was. Everything I said was me being honest with you…and you shot me down.”

  “Brothers?”

  I nodded my head answering her question.

  “I can’t believe you two are related.”

  “Well I don’t go around telling people, I hate the fucking punk.”

  Riley was silent as she stood there staring at me. Finally she spoke, “I saw you dancing and singing to the blond on the side of the house Zander. That’s awful…what kind of guy does that?”

  Wow…there it is. She saw me with Beth. “That was my best friend Riley. Beth and I have been best friends since we were little. She’s not my girlfriend.”

  She laughed, “Really…your best friend. You must think I’m some dumbass girl that falls for some dumbass story.”

  Her comments just pissed me off. Combined with the pissed off attitude I was already carrying left me with no filter. “Well let’s see Riley, you fell for Grant’s lame ass act, so there’s your answer babe.”

  Her mouth had fallen open and I pushed past her to walk toward my bike. Fuck this; I needed to get out of here. I never turned to look back as I slipped my helmet on and climbed onto my bike. I made sure when I left to kick loose gravel up onto Grant car as I sped away.

  When I got home about two hours later Beth took one look at me and knew what my mood was. “What happened?”

  I slammed my fist into the side door of the garage. “Grant…she’s fucking dating Grant. Of all the fuckin’ guys out there Beth…why him? Like the bastard needs any other thing to hold over my head. He’s always been the better son. He got the happy family with the loving dad. He got all the fancy shit and now he gets the girl. He gets the fuckin’ girl I want because she thought you were my girlfriend.”

  She stood staring at me as I ranted and she just listened. That was Beth; she has always been the one person I could count on since my mom passed away. She wrapped her arms around me tightly.

  “Hey listen to me…I mean it. Stop and listen.” I nodded my head against her and she continued.

  “Zander you are an amazing guy. You have the biggest heart and one day the right girl will come along and she’ll see that. You’re wrong about Grant always getting everything…because Grant didn’t have Nora. We both know that when you have Nora in your corner you have it all…because Nora rocked.”

  I swiped the tear from my cheek, “You’re right Beth…my mom did fuckin’ rock.”

  Chapter Nine

  ~Riley~

  It’s been two weeks since I called Carson to pick me up from Grant’s parents’ house. I was still pissed that he kissed me just to get to Zander. What I couldn’t figure out was how he knew it would bother him? When Carson and Kate asked what happened I just told them that Grant had a few drinks and he didn’t feel comfortable driving.

  “You’re Riley, right?” I looked up from my kindle quickly. I had been on the same page for the last thirty minutes.

  It was the cute blond girl Zander was dancing with on the side of the house the night of the party.

  “Um…yeah, I’m Riley.”

  She didn’t wait for an invitation she just pulled the chair out across from me. Macy’s Café had become my hangout lately. Kate was always with Carson and the rest of my friends had boyfriends and obligations so this is what I had left.

  “Have you figured out yet how big of a dick Grant is, or is he still playing you completely?” The look on her face was so casual. It was as if she just asked me what time it was. She caught me off guard and I had no idea what to say.

  “I was just wondering if you’ve realized that you kinda chose the wrong brother. I mean Zander would never try to convince a girl he was perfect. He’s honest and caring. Zander isn’t one to lie to a girl just to get laid.”

  I was speechless. “Um…I’m not dating Grant anymore. It was um…it was never really anything more than friends. I know that um, he tried to make it seem like more than that but it wasn’t.”

  This girl watched me closely and for some reason I felt like I needed to explain everything. “I haven’t had the greatest luck with boyfriends and um, I really thought that night at the party, Zander was trying to play me. I saw you and him dancing next to the house later and he was singing to you. You both looked really happy and I assumed that you were his girlfriend.”

  She laughed out loud, “Zander is like my brother. I love the guy to the moon and back but no way ever would it be more than that.” She paused a few minutes to write something onto a piece of paper before handing it to me. “Here…for some reason the guy has spent the last two weeks thinking about nothing but you. He doesn’t know you but he can’t get you out of his head. I’m doing this because I love him and I want to see him happy more than anything. He seems to think you can make him happy.”

  She stood from the table and left the café. I held the paper in my hand and when I could no longer see her I read what she wrote.

  Gilbert’s on Main Street

  8pm Friday night. There will be a cover charge.

  Come and meet the real Zander.

  I stared at the paper in my hands wondering what it meant. Gilbert’s was a club. So, what he worked there?

  I needed to talk to Kate, like now.

  I sent a quick text.
/>   Are you Home?

  Just as I was getting into my car she replied.

  Yes and your brother just left. What’s up?

  STAY THERE!

  She was coming out of her bedroom just as I came in the front door. She looked up and smiled as she towel dried her hair. “Hey you…everything okay?”

  “I need your opinion on something.”

  Kate joined me on the couch and I started from the beginning. I told her about the party and Zander up to today at the Café with Beth. She stared at me without a word until I was finished.

  “I feel horrible Ry. I’ve been a terrible best friend. Why didn’t you talk to me sooner?” She hugged me hard. “So we’re going, right? I mean we have to. I gotta check this Zander guy out for myself.”

  I was hoping she would say that. Now I just had to figure out what I would say. The last time we talked it didn’t end well. I wondered if he knew Beth invited me to the club.

  Chapter Ten

  ~Zander~

  “What if she doesn’t show? She thinks I’m some kinda asshole.”

  I was pacing the backroom and my nerves were shot. I usually didn’t get nervous performing but tonight was different. Riley may show up and I wanted to impress her. I had never in my life wanted to impress someone more.

  Mark chuckled and lifted Beth off his lap to stand. “Dude calm down, you need a shot or something. You’re a fucking basket case.” He brushed passed me leaving me with Beth and Cody our drummer. Mark played the guitar and sang just as I did so we usually shared the songs throughout the set. I had been working on some new songs since Beth told me Riley may show up.

  “You look like you’re gonna pass out Zander. Breathe.”

  I looked up and smiled at Beth. “I hope she shows up B…I’m wired but seeing her here would be fuckin’ awesome.”