Crushed

by Amity Hope

  He was glad it was him that she collided with.

  “Can I take you home?” he asked. They were both soaked by then. He had no intention of going inside now that he was so drenched.

  “No!” And then she really started to cry. “I don’t want to go home. I can’t stand being there,” she said into his chest.

  The minute she said those words he understood. Everyone knew that Cleo’s mom had died less than two weeks ago. It was never determined if it was a suicide or accidental overdose. Cleo was convinced it was a suicide. She was the one to find her. At home, where she did not want to go at that moment.

  There were all sorts of rumors floating around. The one he thought he believed at the time—the one Cleo later confirmed—was that most likely her mom had meant for her husband to find her. The story was he’d been having an affair. Cleo’s mom, to put it politely, wasn’t in her right mind. Apparently she thought that was an apt punishment for him. But Cleo had forgotten part of her work uniform and had to run home after school to get it. She was the one who found her mom.

  “Come on,” Reece said as he slid an arm around her waist. He thought she’d argue with him. She didn’t. He led her to his vehicle and drove her to his house. An hour later she’d finally cried herself out and was sound asleep on his bed. Wearing—practically swimming in—a dry pair of his sweats.

  He didn’t realize until much later, when she finally admitted to him, that she didn’t sleep well most of the time. Her nights were plagued with nightmares, memories of that day. When she crashed, she usually crashed hard.

  After lots of pushing and prying on his part, he found out that the school secretary had walked by. Apparently she wore the same perfume that Cleo’s mom had worn. After holding everything inside, being reminded of her mom like that, when she wasn’t prepared for it, it caused her to crumble.

  Maybe he should’ve gone into the other room to watch TV or something. He hadn’t. He’d grabbed a hunting magazine and flopped down next to her. At some point, she sleepily tossed an arm around him, curling right into him. He knew then he was hers for as long as she wanted him. And even longer than that, apparently.

  There was a lot of hugging and handholding those first few months while she recovered from the tragedy that life had thrown at her. And kisses carefully placed on her cheeks and forehead. It was months before he got around to kissing her for real. He’d known who Cleo was since middle school. But it wasn’t until the end of sophomore year that he actually met her. The girl he’d met was a broken mess but slowly, with the help of Emma and Reece, she managed to put herself back together again.

  Chapter 7

  Paul cringed at the sight of the food on the table. “How damn hard can it be to make a decent meal?”

  Pretty damn hard, Cleo wanted to tell him, when I’m in school all day and then work for three hours after.

  She worked at a little gift shop that was within walking distance from their house. In the summer, she’d worked full-time. Despite the fact that meant Luci was alone. A lot. But Cleo would take her to the library on Saturday and Luci would stock up for the week. Now, she only worked two nights a week and every other weekend.

  But even that got to be a lot when she was trying to squeeze everything else in. Dinner complaints were a nightly thing. She figured she should be used to it. Or that she could ignore it by now. Mostly she did but that didn’t mean that it didn’t get old, too.

  Tonight, she’d tried to plan ahead. She’d put dinner in the crockpot. Crockpots, as far as Cleo was concerned, were tricky to use. Or maybe she’d just cut the potatoes too small. Either way, the vegetables had turned to slop.

  “It’s not that bad, Dad,” Luci chimed in. She took a bite of mushy carrots. Despite the fact she hated carrots even when cooked right, just to prove her point. To her credit, she didn’t even cringe.

  “Don’t eat it then,” Cleo said with a shrug. “I’m sure you could find someone else to make you dinner.” She knew she shouldn’t go there. Usually she avoided it at all costs. She knew he was seeing someone, had been for years. It was the same ‘someone’ he’d been seeing before her mom died. Before he pushed her over the edge. Why anyone would want him, she could not comprehend. Despite the fact that apparently her mom had.

  But everyone knew, most of all Cleo, that her mom had not always made the best choices. Sometimes, she’d had trouble thinking clearly. So knowing that, she could excuse her for the mistake that had been her husband.

  Cleo knew the lady’s name. She even had a vague idea of where she lived. She had found out from Emma, who had found out from her mom. Being Cleo’s best friend, Emma hadn’t wanted to keep it from her once she’d found out. Cleo kept to herself that it was one piece of information she could’ve lived without.

  She’d never had a desire to meet her, or even see her. A part of her hated this woman. Hated her for the part Cleo was sure that she played in her mom’s death. And yet now, as much as she despised admitting it, now she was grateful for her.

  Because when Paul was with her…It meant he was not with them. And she preferred to have him gone. Fortunately, he was. Much of the time. Just not tonight.

  “You got something on your mind, Cleo?” he asked as he dropped his fork onto his plate. The sound seemed much louder than it should be. His voice was cutting as it boomed through the room and Luci cringed.

  “Dad, you should see the library at the middle school,” Luci said in an effort to pull the attention away from her sister. “It’s huge. It’s so awesome! Cleo isn’t even going to need to take me to the public library anymore. They have almost every book on my reading list.”

  Paul, of course, ignored her. His gaze was on Cleo. “I asked you a question.”

  “No,” she finally replied, just wishing he would leave. “Nothing on my mind.”

  Only that she wished he would leave and never come back. Or better yet, she wished she could take Luci and just go. Somewhere, anywhere. Just the two of them. But that wasn’t going to happen. Besides, Cleo knew Luci would miss her dad. Even though he was a lousy one, he was still her dad. And the only parent she had left.

  He stared at her for longer than necessary, trying to intimidate her. It worked though she tried not to show it. Then he pushed back from the table so hard the chair went flying. She didn’t mean to flinch but she did as she flew back in her own seat. In that same amount of time, Luci darted in front of her.

  Paul just stood there glaring as Cleo scooted Luci out of the way.

  “Sit down and eat,” Cleo whispered in her ear.

  Luci sat back down, hesitantly, not taking her wary eyes off of her dad. Cleo didn’t know if he meant to hit her and he stopped because Luci was in the way. Or if he was just getting ready to storm out again.

  “You just think about where you would be Cleo. If it weren’t for me, you think about where you would be right now,” he said coldly.

  She knew what he was threatening. He thought she owed him the world because he let her stay there. Never mind that she did more of the housework than her mom ever had because even back then, Cleo always helped her out.

  She wanted to ask him where he would be if it weren’t for her. Who would keep the house picked up? Who would do the laundry? The grocery shopping? The cooking, no matter how inadequate? Who would take care of Luci? But she knew better.

  He hadn’t been drinking. Yet. But he was still on edge. He hadn’t hit her for a while, though the summer had been bad. Cleo’s anger had spiraled out of control and keeping her mouth shut had become too hard. Her hatred of him ran too deep and it was hard not to antagonize him. He had never hit her when he was sober, though. She knew there was a first time for everything. She was smart enough not to provoke him into making that first time be tonight.

  She was also smart enough not to tell him that she would be fine without him. She had worked hard—literally—to make sure of that. He had no idea how much money she had managed to put away into her savings account. It was an account her m
om helped her to set up right after she turned sixteen. Right after she got her first job.

  At first, she had started putting away just a little bit. Then this past year, she had put away every dollar she could. Paul had no idea just how much Cleo worked the past summer because a lot of her hours overlapped his. If he kicked her out, as he had often threatened to do, she thought she had enough money to get by for at least a little while.

  The money was supposed to be for college. She’d rather not waste it on rent because she knew how fast it would go. But it was a comfort to know it was there if she needed it.

  “I don’t have to let you live in this house,” he said. It was as if he was reading her mind and driving home his threat.

  “Dad!” Luci exclaimed. It was almost a sob.

  Cleo didn’t say anything. She didn’t want Luci any more upset than she already was.

  Cleo’s birthday was coming up soon. She’d be eighteen then. She knew what he was really threatening her with was foster care. But that wasn’t going to be a viable threat much longer. Cleo wasn’t sure if he was actually aware of this. Her birthday was probably the last thing on his mind. She was honestly not sure that Paul even knew when it was. It wasn’t like it had enough importance to him that he’d actually remember.

  But even then, she didn’t plan on going anywhere. No matter how badly she might want to.

  She’d never leave Luci behind. And Paul knew this.

  “You think about that, Cleo. You just think about how lucky you are because I could’ve kicked you out on your ass a long time ago.”

  ***

  She was awake again, way before her alarm went off. Sometimes, it seemed the more exhausted she was, the harder it was to sleep. She’d had to work right up until dinner time. After Paul’s tirade, he’d left. Then she’d had dinner to put away and the kitchen to clean. Luci hadn’t folded the load of clothes like she’d been asked. She claimed to have homework. Cleo had a hunch that it had more to do with her class’ trip to the library. She was pretty sure that she couldn’t tear herself away from whatever book she’d delved into before Cleo got home. So after dinner Cleo had folded the laundry. Helped Luci with the math homework she always seemed to need help with. Had gotten her to bed and then spent a few hours doing her own homework.

  She’d tumbled into bed exhausted, yet wide awake, finally drifting off what felt like hours later. And now, she was awake again

  Her conversation with Reece, that horrible conversation in the classroom, seemed to be on an instant replay.

  And she couldn’t get memories from the past out of her head.

  Fall, junior year…

  “I need something to drink,” Reece said as he slid off his bed. “Do you want something?”

  “Sure,” she replied with a shrug. She sat up as she watched Reece go. Then busied herself organizing the homework they’d just finished.

  “Is that girl here again?” Landon Hildenbrandt demanded as Reece entered the kitchen. His voice blasted down the staircase, across the family room to Reece’s open bedroom door.

  “Dad—,” Reece started but Landon cut him off.

  “Reece, I’ve told you I don’t want that little gold digger in this house!” he shouted. His voice was so loud. Cleo was sure it was his intent for her to hear him.

  She wasn’t stupid. His coldness toward her the two times that she’d met him had tipped her off that he didn’t like her. She hadn’t realized that, perhaps, he went so far as to hate her. Reece hadn’t clued her in on the fact that she wasn’t welcomed there. She thought maybe, he hadn’t really understood the depth of his father’s hatred of her yet, either.

  “We’re just doing homework,” Reece explained.

  “Find someone else to do your homework with! Did you purposefully set out to find the biggest piece of trash in town? Her family is a disgrace! Her mother was certifiably loony! Her father is a falling-down-drunk! He’d rob me blind if he had half a chance. Don’t think for one second that girl isn’t after money. I can guarantee the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and everyone knows it!” He paused and she thought he was done. He wasn’t. “Are you trying to embarrass your mother and me?”

  She had tiptoed to the door. She was leaning against it. Her knees felt like they were about to give out on her.

  Her mother hadn’t been crazy. Despite how humiliated she felt because of what Landon was saying about her, she was livid over what he’d implied about her mother. She had been quiet, withdrawn. She’d never been a very social person. But she wasn’t crazy.

  She couldn’t hear Reece’s response to his father’s accusations. Whatever he said, he said it quietly. Or possibly, her out of control heartbeat had the blood sloshing so loudly in her ears that she simply couldn’t hear what he said.

  “I will not keep my voice down! This is my house! Not yours! That means that I make the rules,” Landon boomed. “Do you know what her father is telling everyone at the mill? That his daughter is screwing the boss’ son!”

  She had been mortified. Under other circumstances it would be laughable that Paul claimed her as his daughter. He’d never done that before. But if it gave him what he thought were bragging rights among his co-workers? Yes, she could see that happening.

  She was sick with the thought of Paul’s gossip but to be honest, not at all surprised. She and Reece had been together half a year by that point but they’d barely done more than kissed. Cleo wasn’t in the best place, emotionally. Reece was always cautious of that. That was why he had, many times, spent the night. He knew she had nightmares after her mom’s death and when things got bad, when she hadn’t slept for days, he’d stay with her. Because those nights, the nightmares stayed away.

  One night, apparently they hadn’t pushed her door shut tight. It had swung open while they were sleeping. For some reason, Paul had come home that night. He’d turned on the light as he stumbled down the hallway in a drunken stupor. He realized Reece was in her bed before she could get up to shut the door.

  “Don’t let Luci see you,” he ordered. It was the single most paternal comment he’d ever made.

  She had expected him to throw a fit but he’d simply pulled her door shut. Tight this time so Luci wouldn’t catch them. She figured since she wasn’t his kid, he simply didn’t care. Or maybe he was, in some perverse way, pleased with her.

  Reece was, after all, the boss’ son.

  “If it weren’t for that damn contract, I’d fire his ass. I’ve been looking for ways around it. With this recession, I think I might have found a loophole.”

  Her heart lurched at that. If Paul lost his job, she didn’t know where that would leave her and Luci. He’d been hired when they had first moved to town, right after Luci was born. She had a hunch that his reputation would keep him from getting a new job too easily. For all of his drunkenness, she had to grudgingly admit that he had miraculously managed to keep a steady job at the mill. A mill owned by Landon Hildenbrandt, who employed a good chunk of the town.

  She started to panic that Landon would come downstairs and physically remove her from his home. The humiliation of the conversation was already too much. She couldn’t deal with anything more. She gathered her things and crept up the staircase.

  “As if this situation isn’t disgraceful enough I have to hear rumors of that bastard bragging it up every day. It makes me look bad. It makes this family look bad. I know my workers are laughing their asses. My son is slumming with the likes of the town drunk’s daughter. We want you to end it with her. Now,” Landon commanded.

  “Not happening,” Reece quietly told his father. “I love her. So you better get used to the idea of us together.”

  This was news to Cleo as she edged her way up the stairs. Landon let out a colorful, hurtful, degrading string of expletives at Reece’s proclamation.

  Cleo let herself out of the front door.

  She didn’t know how long she’d been sitting in Reece’s Navigator, out in the dark. Waiting for him to realize she was ou
t there. She didn’t know how much longer he argued with his father. Or how much time he spent trying to figure out where she’d gone.

  It was long enough for her to pull herself together. Something she was an expert at doing. Hiding her emotions from people was something she had mastered after her mom’s death.

  But she couldn’t always hide them from Reece. He could find the crack in the wall she had carefully constructed to hide what was really going on inside. He and Emma, they were the only two who knew how often she faked things back then. How often she faked being happy or even just okay.

  That night, when he finally found her, she wasn’t sure which one of them looked more mortified.

  “Cleo,” he’d started as he slid into the driver’s seat and reached for her.

  “Is that what everyone thinks of me?” she’d whispered as she backed away from him. “Is that what they say?”

  Reece shook his head. Appalled. “No, Cleo, not at all.”

  “People at school?” she asked, clarifying. “Is that what they think of me, too?”

  “No,” was his firm reply.

  She didn’t wonder until later if they did and he didn’t know. Or maybe they didn’t because she was lucky enough to be with Reece. And Reece Hildenbrandt wasn’t the kind of guy that got made fun of. Ever.

  “I don’t want your money,” she told him.

  The concept was so ludicrous that the words sounded crazy rolling off of her tongue. As if what? Reece was going to pay her to date him? Or she was just going to swipe some cash right out of his wallet? Landon thought she was after his money? What did that even mean? How could he think that?

  “I’m going to start paying for half of our dates,” she insisted. As far as disagreements went, that had been their biggest one. He always insisted that he ate dinner at their house too often; eating groceries that Cleo had had to pay for. So he never let her pay when they did go out. Never mind that he frequently ordered pizza for him and her and Luci. And often Paul ate the leftovers.