Searching For Who I Am: Book 1 (The Searching Trilogy)

by Paige Orr

  “Sorry to interrupt love, but your friend Gemma is here to see you and I’m sure you don't want to keep her waiting with that lot in there for too long. When I left she was in the process of grilling them, especially Lucien. Do you know what you plan to tell her?”

  She jumps from her seat and is about to run back to the house, before I grab her arms raising my brow at her for an answer. Daddy's little girl needs to learn to listen, or she’ll need to be punished. “I plan to tell her the truth, Gem can handle it and she would know if I was lying. So there's no point trying to make up any silly excuses. Now if you would excuse me I've got some balls to save, before my girl starts ripping them from bodies and then forcing them down throats.”

  At that I let her go, satisfied that she’s been a good girl, she runs off as D and I grab our manhoods with a grimace. “D man, do you think her friend would really do that? It seems a bit on the extreme side, don't you think?” He furiously nods his head and I’m guessing that she told him about her friend, I motion for him to move it, so we can get back and help save the others.

  Once back indoors, we walk in to find Lilith in a bear hug, with her friend rambling on about how she thought we had killed her or something. I watch as our girl pulls back, motioning for Gemma to take a seat. Human women can be a little dramatic, if this is anything to go by, I don’t really have a lot of experience with them so it’s hard to tell. Once they're situated, Lilith begins to tell her everything that she’s found out over the last few days. While she’s busy talking, Gemma begins to look more and more worried for her sanity. When she's finished Gemma’s looking at her in disbelief.

  “You're shitting me right? What the fuck have these arseholes been spiking your drinks with? You do realize how fucking crazy all of that sounds right? If you're too scared to tell me what’s really going on, just blink twice and I'll totally help you fucking kill these bastards!”

  Lilith begins to chuckle, the rest of us though just look damn fucking worried. We may be demons but human women are fucking scary! I haven't survived as long as I have just for a human to kill me over a misunderstanding. Thankfully Lilith tells her that's unnecessary. “Look, I get that it's hard to believe, I didn't at first either but I’ve seen plenty of proof and I've experienced things that would never happen to a normal human. Honestly, I wish I could tell you that it's all some sick sort of joke, but it isn't and to be fair I’m really happy Gem. All this craziness brought me to these four amazing guys, who’ve done everything they possibly can to make this whole thing a lot easier on me.”

  She reaches across, grabbing Gemma's hand and the fear on her face is fucking killing me, so I step forward. Approaching them like Gemma is a cornered animal, with my hands out placatingly. Gemma looks at me wearily and I gulp, here's hoping my little idea isn't about to end up with my guts on the floor. “Lilith, I can show her if you want? I just don’t want to overwhelm her. If you think she can handle it though, I don't have a problem with doing it.”

  Lilith looks at me gratefully and I feel a small smile covering my face. Witnessing our interaction, I watch as Gemma begins to soften toward us, filling me with pride. I really do want her to like her, the last thing any of us would want, is to effect their relationship. With Lilith nodding her approval, I close my eyes and begin to shift to my demon form. Hearing a gasp, I open my eyes to make sure that Gemma hasn’t passed out. Looking at her, I find her sitting with her mouth open, at least she's still upright though that’s always a bonus.

  “Fucking hell, you weren’t lying! Though, can you really blame me for not believing this shit? Who could have thought that they were sitting in a house full of demons, including their best friend! So now you're some sort of demon Princess? Shit girl, you're moving up in the world.” At that they both crack up laughing and my brothers and I let out a collective sigh of relief. At least we aren’t about to have our balls removed from where they were intended to be.

  Lilith

  I can’t believe that Gem is here! It feels like weeks ago that I sent her my new address, when in reality it’s only been a few days. It’s complete madness how the time has passed, especially with how close I already feel to my guys. Don't get me wrong, I’m so fucking happy to see her but I’ve also been so caught up in everything else, that I havn’t had the chance to come up with anything else to tell her apart from the truth.

  Thank fuck she didn’t pass out like I did, she would have been fucking mortified. All this does is prove how strong she is, she always could deal with everything thrown at us, a lot better than I could. I love that even though she thought I was here against my will, she still offered to kill bitches right in front of them, that takes some huge lady balls. To be perfectly honest I would have done the exact same thing, that's why we're best bitches for life.

  I turn to find my guys and Lucien, standing holding their junk with scared expressions on their faces, causing me and Gem to burst out laughing. For fucks sake, one little human has five big scary demons acting like scared little boys. Who would’ve thought it?

  “So I haven’t had the chance to tell you everything yet, it turns out that demons have multiple mates and those four over there, are mine.” I turn to find my guys a lot more relaxed, with proud smiles on their faces. Strangely though Lucien looks like someone has just kicked him in the balls. I look at him quizzically, but he refuses to meet my eyes, I wonder what that’s all about? I shrug, turning back to Gem, to find her trying to cover her shocked expression.

  “So, what you're saying, is that you're now in a relationship with those four drop dead gorgeous guys? Well I'll be damned, ain’t you a lucky bitch!” She laughs while fanning her face and I lose it all over again. God I fucking love this girl, she took something that I was scared to tell her and made me completely relax about it, everyone needs a best friend like her.

  Finally having everyone settled, I go to grab a bottle of wine from the kitchen, so that I can sit and catch up with my girl. While I’m fetching glasses from the cupboard, I hear someone approaching me from behind. I feel arms wrapping around me and D rests his head on my shoulder with a sigh. “Hey big guy, I’m sorry our first date got cut short. Although it does seem to be a running theme.”

  He gives me a small squeeze, burrowing his nose in the crook of my neck, taking a deep breath of my scent. “You don’t have to worry about it Princess, I‘m just glad to see you so happy. We can have a date anytime, you haven't had the chance to see her since this all started, now why don’t you go and sit with your girl and I'll bring these in for you. Me and the guys have some work to do, we need to see if we can see if we can track down this arsehole who scared you so much last night. So we'll leave you in peace to have some girl time.”

  Turning in his arms, I give him a warm smile and a small peck. “She's right you know, I'm one lucky girl. Thank you for understanding that I need this time with her. Thank you for being there for me big guy, now you bring that bottle in for us then work your magic to track this creep down. I-”

  My eyes widen as I realize that I was about to tell him that I love him. Come on though it’s way too early to be feeling anything close to love, right? In my confusion, I don't realize that he's speaking to me until he tilts my head towards him. “I know you're too scared to say it right now but I’m not. I love you Princess, and I always will.”

  With that he turns me towards the door, giving me a little nudge, forcing me to start walking. I head into the living room in a daze, with a big goofy grin and Gemma just stares at me with laughter in her eyes. Plopping down beside her, pulling her into a hug. “I fucking missed you beautiful, I’ve needed my girl the last few days but I could barely come to grips with everything, never mind explaining it to someone else. Thank you for coming over to check on me. It's really freaking appreciated!”

  She gives me a big squeeze, before sitting back and joining our hands on her lap. “Shit chica, I've been hella worried about you. One minute you were going to sign some papers, then next I didn't hear from you f
or a few days. With everything that’s happened, I thought you may have been up to your old tricks and I would get a phone call telling me that I'd lost you. I don’t want to lose my best friend, you mean everything to me.”

  I take a deep breath, knowing I've got to tell her what I did that first night, I just don’t want her to be disappointed with me. “Alright, don’t get mad at me please. I kind of did hurt myself really bad when I came into my powers. I cut myself a lot but I healed almost straight away. I know that doesn't make it better but it's one positive to take away from it all. I don’t want you to fall out with me, I know it was fucking stupid and I fucked up, I just couldn’t take anymore. Learning what I am really really fucked with me.”

  She looks at me in disbelief, before whacking me on the back of the head. Yelping, I rub my head in mock outrage, before she pulls me into a hug so tight I swear I can feel my ribs creaking. I can feel her tears slowly soaking through my shirt and I feel like utter shit. She whispers into my ear. “Fuck me chica, you promised you weren’t going to do that shit anymore. If you were struggling, you should have called me, you don't have to tell me what made you feel that way. But you know that I’m here and I'll always listen and help you talk yourself down.”

  I feel the tears welling in my eyes, as Demetrius walks into the room with a tray of wine and some nibbles. Gem leans back, wiping her eyes as I give him a weak smile. Placing the tray on the coffee table, he leaves the room after giving my shoulder a supportive touch. I pour us both a tall glass as Gem composes herself.

  “Look, I know that I shouldn’t have done it but everything was so overwhelming, when I got to the house It was like I’d been here before, even if that does sound impossible, I swear I dreamt of sitting on my dad's lap in his study as he read to me. I felt like I would just be a burden to you, like seriously who would want a demon as a best friend? I've learned a lot since then though, my opinion has changed and I'm a lot more level headed. I was already in so much pain from my awakening and I’d just found out what I am, well a rough idea of what I am anyway. Seeing as the guys haven’t been able to tell me what breed of demon I could be. I just felt so low and all I could think about was hurting myself, I'm sorry though I swear to you I'll do better. I've already decided it’s time to take control of my life back!”

  I give her a watery smile as I toss my drink back. I was hoping for it to give me a buzz to take the edge off after all these emotions but it seems that my demon blood won't allow that. Like shit, what’s a girl gotta do to get tipsy.

  Lilith

  We finish off our drinks and nibbles and I show Gem to one of the empty guest rooms for the night. As I’m walking back to my room, I bump into Tae and he gives me a nervous smile. “Hey kitten, could we maybe talk? I just wanted to check how you're holding up after everything last night.”

  I motion for him to follow me into the room, before closing the door behind us. Turning to him, I wait for a moment to hear what he has to say, when he doesn’t speak I head towards my closet. I really can’t be fucked waiting around for him to talk, today has been long as hell. I’m really fucking tired and I just want to get ready for bed but I've got a better idea first. I go in and find a sexy little white silk sleep set, which has a strappy top and booty shorts, quickly changing into it before heading back into the room. When Tae sees me, the look in his eyes is nothing short of predatory. Straightening my shoulders, I saunter across the room, till I’m standing a few feet away from him.

  He stalks towards me with his eyes gleaming, stopping a hair's breadth away. I feel my breath catch as he reaches out grabbing my hair, tilting my head back until I'm looking into his hooded eyes as he growls at me. "It's not very nice to tease kitten. That is unless you’re ready to be punished for it? What should we do with such a naughty little girl like you?"

  A dangerous smile covers his face, that causes shivers to run through my body as I lick my lips. He pulls me closer, bringing his lips down until I can feel his hot breath against my wet lips and I go weak at the knees. By this point I'm nothing more than putty in his hands and I wouldn’t want it to be any other way. His wolf's dominance has me ready to beg for what his eyes are promising. I know that what he has planned for me will be the best sexual experience of my life.

  "I can see just how much you want me in your needy expression. Do you want me to kiss you and make you feel good kitten?" I nod my head in a daze, knowing that’s exactly what I need, I would do anything to have him closer to me. He has me feeling like his prey, with the triumphant smirk on his face. His predatory gaze causes liquid heat to pool between my thighs and I can't wait for him to explore my body. Slowly he touches his lips to mine, in a firm yet gentle kiss. After a moment of this, his tongue runs along the seam of my lips asking for entrance, and without a second thought, I give myself over to him. He kisses me so thoroughly, that I forget everything else apart from the feeling of his lips on mine. Our tongues tangle in a battle of wills, but I know I’m no match for him,. Finally I submit and he begins to devour me.

  I didn’t realize before this moment that a dominant man was what I was craving, but now I’m completely under his spell. He wraps his free arm around me pulling me into his hard chest as I loop my arms around his neck. Feeling his hard cock pressing against my stomach just spurs me on as I moan into his mouth. He reaches down grabbing my ass and grinding against me, causing my pussy to clench in eagerness, pulling back he whispers across my damp lips.

  “Do you feel what you do to me kitten? How hard you have me? You drive me crazy with how fucking beautiful you are. I can’t wait to have you at my mercy as you scream out my name as you cum all over me!” He places his strong hands on my thighs, before lifting me up so I can wrap my legs around his waist. His rigid cock settling against my soaking wet, sensitive pussy. He walks us back until we're at the bed, laying me back gently while cradling my head. He climbs over the top of me, settling himself between my thighs as he takes my lips again.

  I rub my pussy against him, mewling at the pleasure it sends cascading through me, I run my hand under his shirt dragging my nails down his abs. I can feel them tensing as he shivers, moaning against my lips. I feel a delighted smile spread across my face as he slides his hands up my sides, stopping just below my breasts, causing me to let out a whimper of frustration.

  Chuckling, he sits back on his heels looking down at me with lust filling his gaze. “You're absolutely perfect kitten, are you sure this is what you want? I don't want to pressure you, but I need to feel your tight little cunt gripping my cock.” I blush as I avert my eyes, nodding my head. His dirty words have me melting below him. I’m more than ready for him, even if I can't help the nerves going through me. No man has ever looked at me with such adoration and desire, that’s how I know I’m making the right choice.

  He takes the bottom of my top in his hands, sliding it sensually up my body and over my head. He throws it to the side then gives all his attention to my bare skin. Reaching forward he tweaks my nipples, before leaning down and soothing them with his mouth causing me to gasp and arch my back.

  He gives them a little nip before straightening up, beginning to unbutton his shirt, slipping it from his shoulders, leaving him in nothing but dress trousers with a belt. I’m totally transfixed with the sight before me. His body looks as if it has been carved from stone, with his wide shoulders and toned chest. He is truly drool worthy and I can’t take my eyes off him, he’s a fucking masterpiece.

  I watch as he runs his hand slowly down his stomach, stopping on his belt buckle. He takes his time undoing it, and slipping it from his trousers. Reaching forward, he takes my wrists into his hands before looking to me for permission. With my approval he loops the belt around my wrists, cinching it to the point where I’m unable to move them but it’s not hurting me. He leans up over me tying the other end to the headboard so that I'm restrained, leaving me feeling completely under his control.

  He steps off the bed, taking my shorts off and throwing them to join my top on
the floor. For a moment he just stands there, watching my body's reaction to him as I squirm around on the sheets. He takes his time removing his trousers before joining me on the bed again. Slipping my legs over his shoulders and slowly massaging down my calf to my thigh. Stopping just as he reaches where I need him the most. He begins to kiss down the same path as his hands, before stopping at the edge of my panties. He buries his nose in my mound, taking a deep breath of my scent, before ripping them from my body.

  There's a slight sting with them being torn from me, but that is soon forgotten, as I feel his breath on my dripping wet cunt. He leaves me waiting to the point I’m ready to beg, and then finally gives me what I need as he begins to caress me with his tongue. The feeling of his piercing caressing my folds has my breath catching and I can’t wait to feel more. The whole time he avoids my clit, driving me out of my mind with need, to the point I’m covered in sweat and gasping for breath. Finally, he attaches his mouth to my bud and I cry out, using his piercing he adds a whole other level to what he’s doing to me and the pressure it’s adding is driving me wild! He slowly continues to drive me crazy with his ministrations, plunging a couple of fingers into my opening. I feel my orgasm building hard and fast as he begins to devour me like a man possessed. My back arches off the bed as my orgasm hits like a freight train and I see stars. He sits back on his haunches and I watch as with deliberate slowness he licks my juices from his fingers.