Searching For Who I Am: Book 1 (The Searching Trilogy)

by Paige Orr

  Such an innocent girl, taken from the people who care about her, from the life she was supposed to live before this sick fuck got his hands on her. Feeling the anger rising, something inside of me, seems to open its eyes taking notice of the carnage around me. Without conscious thought, I feel the entity trying to take over and I can do nothing to stop it. Though I also can’t really find it within myself to stop the darkness I feel clawing itself to the surface.

  For the first time since I woke up in this room, I see fear in my captor's eyes and it brings a vengeful smile to my face. Finally succumbing to the presence inside me, I feel her take control. (Don’t ask me how I know it's a she, I just feel it deep in my gut). The same as how I can feel that she's here to protect me. She's my strength and with sudden clarity, I realize that she's my demon.

  As I look out from inside of my body. It feels disorientating as can be, but I feel the presence speak to me. “Hello little one, my name is Tunrida. I am so glad that you have finally realized that together, we are strong enough to gut this worthless maggot. You see I am a part of you and now with you accepting me, I can do what needs to be done. I will get us to safety. Do not fear this place as it is your safe haven. Nothing can hurt you in here. You will be able to see what is done but if it becomes too much for you, all you have to do is concentrate on not being able to see and you will not. Now, it is about time that someone teaches this coward his place.”

  As she retreats I'm able to see into the world through our eyes and seeing how my captor cowers, I feel glee washing over me. This will all be over soon.

  Tunrida

  I cannot believe this pathetic excuse of a being thought he could hurt us. Now that she has accepted me, he is nothing but a pitiful little bug on our shoe. We could have this whole filthy nest of his decimated without even lifting a finger. This is typical of a power-hungry male though, they think a powerful woman under their thumb can give them the fucking world. So now we have to show him how wrong he truly was.

  I feel Lilith's presence, as she peeks out of our eyes to see the man simpering at our feet. The pleasure we feel at making him feel as weak and powerless as he made us feel, is unprecedented. We pull our arms free and raise ourselves up pulling the blades from our arms, reaching down, we remove the pathetic blades still pinning our legs and swing our feet around the edge of the bed.

  Hopping down on to the floor we begin to stalk towards our prey. “Poor little vampire, it seems you have bitten off more than you can chew!” We let out a cackle as he scoots away from us, backing himself into the corner of the room.

  “Poor, Poor little boy. You really thought you could be a match for us? You really have no idea who you are fucking with. We are your queen! And now you will receive the harshest punishment you could ever imagine. We will take so much pleasure from watching you fucking squirm!”

  He finally realizes that he has nowhere left to run and the indecision in his eyes sends a pleasurable shiver down our spine. His choice made, he leaps to his feet, trying to use his extra speed to run from the room. Such a fucking fool; he can never escape us. Before he knows it, we have blocked his only means of escape.

  “How does it feel little boy? To be trapped, knowing that you're not strong enough to fight your way out? We have big plans for you and they do not involve your escape. We seem to remember how much you enjoy blood, especially from the innocent, so it is time for us to enjoy your blood and the blood of your kin.”

  We swing our arm towards the carcass left to rot in our ‘living quarters’. As we tut, returning our gaze to him, we see him gulping. “Yes little vampire, you should fear us. We are your worst fucking nightmare come to life, we can do things that could only ever dream of.”

  Fast as lightning we grip his hair and begin to drag him from the room. Once in the corridor, a guard rounds the corner and immediately tries to rush us. As we hold out our arm he drops to the floor, blood spilling from his pale lips, such a disgusting waste of life.

  “Such a shame. You know, we really don’t like causing a mess but they all have it coming for being so idiotic to follow you.” Sneering down our nose at the pitiful creature in our grasp, we continue on our way to where we can hear the majority of his clan lying in wait.

  He tries to call out a warning to them as we approach the clan’s main hall but we simply silence him with a raised finger. “Now now, you've gotten to have your fun. It’s our turn now.” With a hideous smile we pull him into the room.

  All of the vampires lunge to their feet and try to get to their master but we force them to their knees with a flick of our wrist. “Now children, behave! Don’t you see that you are in the presence of royalty? Your knees are where you all belong. Your master here has been a naughty, naughty boy and you have all just blindly followed him. So now we have brought the sheep, which is all of you, to the slaughter so to speak. Yet being the reasonable queen that we are, we shall ask you a few questions. Depending on your answers you will live or die. Now do not even think about lying, we can read you all too easily for such trivialities.”

  We walk towards what we expect is their dickless fool of a master’s ‘throne’, taking a seat and crossing one leg over the other, whilst forcing him to his knees like a good little puppy. We force the first group of his followers to their feet dragging them to stand before us. By the looks of them they're his guards, what a perfect place to start. We know that at least a few of them were involved in the debacle in our quarters.

  “What a perfect starting point, we know that you are guilty but we shall ask the questions of you all anyway. Everyone is entitled to a fair trial afterall, even disgusting creatures such as yourselves. Now, Do you enjoy forcing people to your will? Does forcing yourself upon the innocent and partaking in their blood turn you on?.... Well? We are awaiting your answers, and we are not in the mood to be patient.”

  They all look to their master, as if hoping that he will save them from our wrath. We almost pity the poor bastards but alas they show no pity for their victims. Without his help they know nothing but to tell me the truth, and as each of them reply yes we raise our arm and watch as hell fire engulfs their bodies. Hearing the shocked whispers spreading throughout the room, a malicious smile covers our face.

  We motion for the next group and ask the same questions of them. This lot at least looks more wary of us, much to our delight. This may be a long night but it is one we shall enjoy greatly.

  Taehyung

  We all stand around our captive, debating how to end him, this has been going on for fucking hours! All we’re doing is wasting time, sick of all of their shit I walk to the vamp, punching my fist through his ribs and ripping his heart out. All conversation stops as the others turn to me in astonishment.

  “You were all taking way too long to decide and while you were, anything could be happening to our girl! I wanted him to suffer just as much as all of you but we have a den to find. D, clean this shit up. Sam, get to work locating their den. I need to go and fucking clean myself up, I ruined my fucking shirt!”

  I feel a sense of relief washing over me. Finally we're starting to get somewhere, I’m sure it won’t take Sam long to locate their den. We've been going out of our minds trying to track down our girl. Now finally we can work on bringing her home, back where she belongs. It helps that I’ll finally be able to get my hands on that bastard Michael.

  I head upstairs to my room and into the ensuite. Looking down at my shirt as I take it off, I curse underneath my breath. This was one of my favorite shirts and vamp blood is a fucking bitch to get out. Balling it up I throw it into the trash can, finding our girl is a lot more important than a fucking shirt, I can buy a new one when this is all finally over.

  Heading into the shower, I let my head hang once I’m under the spray. I try to empty my thoughts but as usual since she was taken, my thoughts return to Lilith, her beauty and the way she moaned beneath me. I can’t believe that I finally got a chance to be with her and then she was taken from right under my nose!
All because I didn’t listen to my fucking team like they begged.

  I should have followed her, I knew how much danger she was in and yet I did nothing. Drawing my fist back, I punch a hole in the shower wall. As the tiles crack and splinter around me, I finally let the tears fall, I’m supposed to be the leader, the one that keeps us all safe. How could I fail her so miserably. The guys warned me this would happen and because of my own selfish need to keep her out of the situation as much as possible, now she’s gone.

  Why didn’t I just fucking listen to them? All I had to do was prepare her a little more, let her in on everything we’d found. But thanks to my stupidity she didn’t know what to expect. I really am the worst fucking mate ever. I step out of the shower toweling off, feeling the determination building inside me. We will find her and end Michael’s pitiful fucking life. The bastard is going to pay and I'll love nothing more than ripping him limb from fucking limb. Throwing on any clothes laying around, I head off to Sam’s room.

  Knocking on the door, I wait for him to allow me in. Once inside I began to question him. “Have you found a location yet? Do we have numbers? I don't want us to be unprepared again. Has a team been called in to help handle the situation? I don’t want to walk into a trap. The longer we take, the more chance he has of hurting her. I-I don’t know how much longer I can wait, we need to get her back now!”

  Turning to me I see the happy gleam in his eyes and without him opening his mouth, I know he found it, finally luck is on our side. I run into the hallway calling the others and as we all gather around Sam’s computers, he begins to tell us his findings.

  “Okay, as we all know the official vampire clan location is downtown, but what we didn’t know is that there's a secret faction called the brotherhood. They're the most lethal, dangerous and downright vicious of the clan, who are sick of following the rules. Basically they've let their bloodlust consume them. Lucky for us I've got fucking mad skills and my database has clocked a large scale of vampire activity on the outskirts of town in a mansion. That stupid fucker of a master didn’t use his tiny little brain because only he and the guy that is now dead, can cloak themselves from my surveillance. I’ve sent the coordinates to the GPS systems in our cars so go get ready boys, we have some vamps to kill!”

  We all head to our own rooms to get our kits ready and we meet in the garage in ten minutes flat. I start to load up our equipment and I fucking swear D brought the whole goddamn armory. He comes back into the garage with even more bags of weapons and instead of arguing I just add them to the others. Every little bit helps at this point.

  Next Gale hands us all protective neckwear to stop any vamps from having access to our jugulars and vests that are spelled to stop anything from piercing our chests, which I quickly hand out. Finally Sam brings his laptop and as we all pile into D’s car. I see that Sam has hacked the CCTV around the city, this is why we need the smart bastard, we don’t want them to get the slip on us.

  “Hey Sam, finding anything useful there? Any clue of the number we can expect?” He turns to me with a determined smile. “Sure thing, so it seems the average number of vamps in the house is around one hundred and twenty-three. The cameras show that there are no humans around the property, which is good for us. I just have to check my thermal imaging program to see if I can get an exact body count of how many are there right now.”

  Turning to Gale, I find him making phone calls and when he finishes the one he was having, he turns to me. “I thought we might need some back up, so I called our most trusted allies and also called the main office to get as many non-vamp agents to head to the coordinates. I made sure to tell them to keep it quiet, I've got a sinking feeling we have to go through all of our vamp employees, we don’t know if they can be trusted!”

  Agreeing with him I finally turn to D for an update on our position. “We're about twenty minutes out boss. I can make it fifteen but I don't want the human cops on our ass. We've enough weapons to sink a boat as you know. We’re ready! They don't stand a chance.”

  A grin crosses my face, it’s time to get our girl back!

  Tunrida

  We tilt our head, peering down at the vampire master at our feet as he doubles over writhing in pain and roaring in anger. We would love to take the credit for his little outburst, but we have not done anything to him, yet. We definitely have plenty planned for him and his filthy nest though. As we watch him in morbid fascination, he begins to shout at the top of his lungs. “No! Alessandro! Those fucking bastards! They killed my son!”

  At this little nugget of information, we let out a menacing laugh. “It seems as if our mates have been busy. Don’t worry my pet you will be joining him soon enough, he will not be alone for long!” He turns on us, with a vicious sneer and tries to lunge, aiming for our throat. Yet we simply bat him out of the air, you would think by now he would understand that he is no match for us.

  “Now now my pet, do not go and spoil our fun. You got to have yours uninterrupted, fret not you will get your turn, after you finish witnessing the demise of your pitiful nest. Seeing how our mates will soon find us, we best speed up the proceedings. We don’t want them to have to get their hands dirty with this lot.”

  He turns to us with a snarl. “Which two of those arseholes are your mates then? I can't wait to tear their throats out!” With a maniacal giggle we look down our nose at him. “Two? It looks like you did not do your homework my pet. We have five mates. You really never stood a chance. Now, if you do not mind we would like to continue with the festivities, there is much to be getting on with and the fun has only just started.”

  We turn back to the crowd forcing all the rest of these disgusting creatures to their feet, we have barely broken a sweat as of yet and it is leaving us rather unsatisfied. “As you all just heard, things have to move on a little quicker. As much as we would love to spend all day culling your ranks, that is just not possible at this time. By now you all know the questions but we can already tell by the look in all of your eyes that you are indeed guilty. Since we have only given you a taste of our power, we will choose groups to die by different means. We don’t want the rest of the onlookers getting bored now!”

  With that we turn to the first group and with our arms raised we begin to pull them apart with our mind. With the overwhelming smell of blood in the air, the others in the room begin to lose control, turning on each other and making our job easier. That's the thing with blood thirsty vamps, they never can keep a lid on the monster inside, it is such a waste. They could have had a better life, if it wasn’t for the fool the followed right to their death.

  Watching them succumbing to the animal inside, fills us with a sick satisfaction and facing their master we decide to ridicule him some more. “Look at how easily they try to destroy each other. You wanted all of our power, yet look at what a small taste of that power has done to your people. Do you see now how weak you all are? Do you like being in the same shoes as your victims, too weak to protect yourself from the big bad monster.”

  Finally bored with their antics we raise our hands, summoning a wall of hellfire between the different factions. So very rude trying to take the pleasure of killing them from their queen, what are we supposed to do for our enjoyment if they kill each other completely. We proceed to call to the hounds of hell, bringing them forth to follow our commands, our friends have waited a long time for such a feast and we can feel the hunger growing inside of them.

  We motion our arms, towards the waiting crowd and they turn beginning to rip their way through them. Sitting back, we relax on the ‘throne’, watching the show as we reach out dragging their master to kneel before us. “Now my pet, we think that we shall leave you to our mates to do with as they please. Call it a gift from us, that you will not perish by our hands.”

  As we watch the carnage brewing, there is an explosion that rocks the building and we know that they are here. When they finally reach the room we are in and witness everything around them, they look around in shock until the
ir eyes land upon us. With a grin, we raise our tormentor into the air, floating him over and dropping him at their feet. As soon as we let him go I recede into our body, allowing Lilith control again.

  She does not need me now, for she has our men!

  Lilith

  As I regain control, locking eyes with my men, the relief of not needing to be strong anymore completely drains me. As I slump in this fucking gaudy throne, I hear Tunrida whisper to me. “Go to our men, they need us as we need them. I can see the ache in their hearts from your disappearance. They need the reassurance that you are indeed alive and well, physically at least.”

  With those words spoken, I feel her receding to that space in my head where I went while she was in control, and I stumble getting to my feet. As I begin to stagger my way through the crowd, my hounds flank me to ensure no more harm befalls me and I reach out patting their heads. They are such magnificent creatures and I’m glad that I had them by my side. Fuck pissing them off, the damage they’ve inflicted is unreal.

  The guys watch on in amazement, as the animals completely surround me. Giving them a weak smile, I stumble the last few steps to them and as I’m about to fall, Lucien catches me in his strong arms. The hounds return to their work, knowing that I’m safe with my mates, and I turn to find Tae with his hands wrapped around the vampire master's throat. A weak grin covers my face, knowing the bastard will be dead soon.

  I watch in morbid fascination as he rips his arms and head clean from his body, dropping them both in an unceremonious heap as they begin to turn to ash. Relief washes through me knowing that it's finally over and my legs give out, causing Lucien to catch me sgain, and scoop me up into his arms. I wrap my arms around his neck and breathe in his comforting scent as he leans down to whisper in my ear.