Good Morning Heartache

by Audrey Dacey

  “I wrote something.”

  Ryan gave her his crooked, amused smile. “I see that.” He swooped down and picked up a ball of paper that had been blown across the porch.

  “I haven't written anything in seven years.” She lowered her feet to the porch floor and smoothed out her dress as Ryan made his way over to the chair on the side of the table closest to him.

  “You've told me,” he pointed out as he sat down.

  “I don't know what happened. It just poured out of me like I knew exactly what I was doing, like I'd been planning it for weeks.” Alexis looked down at her sloppy handwriting, expecting it to disappear, but it remained steadfast on the paper.

  “Can I read it?” he asked calmly, as if this wasn't a life-changing event.

  Alexis was hesitant. It was one thing to have something written. It was something completely different to have someone read it.

  “Please,” he added. His blue eyes kindly stared her down and into submission. She slowly pushed the notebook across the table toward the waiting man on the other side. “I should warn you,” she started.

  “No disclaimers. Just let me read it.” Ryan pulled the notebook from underneath her fingertips. Alexis bore them into the page, not quite willing to allow him to take it, but for fear of ripping the page she let it go.

  She watched as he flipped several pages back to the beginning, and then as he read each line carefully. Her stomach knotted and flipped with each page turn. Stopping herself from reaching across the table and snatching the notebook away, she gulped hard and gripped the sides of her chair tightly.

  It wasn't until he flipped to the last page, read, and then looked up at her that she could feel comfortable. At least she didn’t have to wait any longer to hear that it was the worst thing he’d ever read.

  Ryan set the notebook back on the table and slid it across the table back to Alexis. “It’s really good.”

  “What do you mean?” she asked, not understanding the vagueness of “really good.”

  “It was real. Intense and sad. It was brilliant. I've never read anything like it.”

  Alexis took the feedback to heart. She felt unsteady in her chair and held on to the notebook for support. Tears began to form behind her eyes, but she fought them off with a deep, staggered breath and a shake of her head.

  “What do you do next?” he asked, still calm.

  Alexis hadn't thought about a next step. This step was too big for her to just jump to the next step quickly. She was still too concerned that this was a fleeting gift. That maybe she would get this one story and nothing else. The pressure of the next step was too much for her to even consider, until he forced her with his question.

  “I don't know. I guess I could send it to Dr. Lehrer. I could see what she thinks. I guess.” Alexis shrugged. She didn't really think it was a good idea. Having Ryan read it was hard enough. Giving it to someone with a discerning eye and a Doctorate in literature was an agonizing prospect. “I don't think I should do that yet. I have to edit it first.”

  “What's the worst that could happen?” He looked at her intently, but in a way that gave her great comfort, like he truly believed in what she was doing.

  “Nothing. The worst thing that could happen is nothing.”

  A smile lit up half his face, “Then you have nothing to lose.”

  Alexis had never considered it that way. At this point she had written something, it would need to be processed and edited, but once it was done, the worst thing someone could say was no. Even if she got rejected, at least she had something to reject. “I guess,” she admitted after her reflection.

  Ryan stood up from the chair and grabbed her wrist, “Let's go celebrate with breakfast.”

  Sex, work, and food. The three things that held his attention.

  Alexis ran up to her room and grabbed her purse. She didn’t know what she was going to say to him over a meal. Talking about the weather, news, and sports didn’t seem appropriate, but the details of the previous night were a topic she’d rather not broach, ever. She couldn’t decide if she would rather have this conversation with him or a real sex talk with Riley. Both choices were horrible.

  She met him on the porch where she had left him, and they proceeded to the car silently. When they turned the corner, someone unexpected was standing in the driveway next to a beat-up Toyota.

  “Hello, Alexis,” a deep voice grunted. “Did you get my flowers?”

  Alexis took a deep breath to try to control herself. It didn’t work. “Get the hell off my property, Richard. You’re breaking the restraining order.” Alexis paused for a moment. The police weren’t able to serve this guy with a restraining order, but he seemed to know she didn’t send the flowers back. Either someone was really incompetent or…she didn’t want to think about the “or.” Anxiety pricked the edge of her heart. “If you’re not out of my driveway in ten seconds, I swear to God, I am calling the cops.” She was going to anyway, but she thought the threat might discourage him any further.

  Richard threw his head back in laughter. “I don’t think that you actually want me to leave. Our relationship has changed. You’ve accepted my flowers.”

  Ryan started to move toward the short, muscular man, but Alexis stopped him. “Stay out of it,” she warned, accompanied with a glare. Then she turned back to Richard, “My garbage disposal accepted your flowers. And let me spell it out for you again real slow. We…don’t…have…a…relationship. Did you get it this time?”

  “When are you going to come to your senses and come back to me? I think your little charade has lasted long enough.” Richard began moving toward the porch steps. Alexis pulled out her cell phone, and Ryan stepped in front of her.

  “She said that you need to leave,” Ryan said in a deep growl, and Alexis saw his hands ball up into tight fists.

  “What the hell are you going to do about it?”

  Alexis had backed up a little, afraid of what was going to happen, and dialed 911. She was whispering to the operator when she heard the hard thud of skin against skin. When she looked up, Ryan was slouched over and holding his jaw; a droplet of blood forming at the corner of his mouth.

  “Please,” Alexis begged the operator in a whisper. “My friend has just been assaulted. I need someone here immediately.”

  “There’s one car on patrol in your area. Officers Reynolds and Whitley should be there in a few moments. Try to stay calm.”

  Before Alexis could lay into the woman about the difficulties of staying calm when someone was attacking the people she cared about, Ryan looked up and swung up at Richard’s gut, but Richard moved back a little to avoid the brunt of the blow and returned with a quick jab to Ryan’s mouth.

  “Ahhh,” Ryan cried, seeming more frustrated than hurt. “You son of a bitch.” Ryan lowered his shoulder and broke into a sprint, ramming his entire, massive body into Richard.

  “Ugh” was the only sound Richard made as he fell to the ground. He kicked Ryan off his body and crawled away. Sirens sounded in the distance. The good news about a town like this was the cops were never too busy or too far.

  “They’re coming for you,” she scolded as she moved toward him.

  He moved away from the house, stepping backward. “I’m not done with you Alexis,” Richard threatened before turning around and sprinting to his car.

  Alexis wrapped her arm around Ryan, who looked like he would start foaming at the mouth soon, and guided him to the nearby porch swing. “Are you okay?” she asked as she watched blood trickle from the middle of his lip. “Can I get you anything?”

  He huffed. “I really should have had breakfast before fighting.”

  Alexis gave him a gentle, caring smile. If she ever got her hands on Richard Dunn, she’d kill him. She ran a hand along Ryan’s jaw but pulled away when he winced.

  “Sorry.” She clenched her hands into tight fists.

  He looked down at her with a half-smile and calm blue eyes. “It’s okay; it just stung a little.”

/>   A police car’s tires crunched on the gravel driveway, its lights flashing and its siren ripping apart the peaceful morning. They both stood and walked toward the welcome discord. Alexis stepped off the porch and approached the officers lifting themselves out of the squad car.

  “Breakfast?” Ryan called after her. She looked back and watched as he carefully lowered himself on a porch step. She shrugged and smiled before turning back to the approaching police offices.

  Much to Ryan’s chagrin, breakfast was delayed for an hour. The officers confirmed the protection order and took statements from them while Alexis cleaned up Ryan’s lip and made him an ice pack. But when the cops left, he was ready to dismiss his private nurse in favor of something to eat.

  They decided on brunch at the Blue Heron Café in the center of town. It was a quaint, quiet place with six tables and an eggs Benedict that Alexis would crave for weeks to come.

  When she recommended the eggs Benedict, he ordered two. Alexis enjoyed the way he ate without restraint. His eating habits had initially bothered her, but it was one of the ways that she could truly see him being carefree, which, she was learning, was a rarity for him.

  At first Alexis was able to keep the conversation about him, carefully avoiding anything that would lead to discussion of their sleepover.

  He talked about growing up in Iowa, living with his father, and escaping to Arizona. He was fairly candid, but she could tell that he held some things back. Ryan never mentioned his mother, for one.

  A burden weighed heavily in his eyes. She decided that's why most of the time they seemed icy, not because he was critical of everything around him, but because there was an unhealed wound festering there.

  She didn't mind that he was discreet; she understood that some people liked to keep their dirty laundry out of sight. Being in a family that was as rich as hers, people were constantly digging through her dirty laundry, so she figured she might as well air it with pride. Though, she didn’t mind having light conversation after a heavy, draining morning.

  Once they were eating, Ryan jumped into his inquiry of the morning’s events. “You really have stalkers.”

  Alexis took a sip of her orange juice and then explained. “Technically, I’ve had stalkers. Right now, I just have stalker.”

  “For how long?”

  “Richard’s been around for about a year and a half now. He was in the army, but they discharged him—I’m light on the details—and I met him right after that.”

  “I bet I know why he was discharged…he packs a hell of a punch.”

  Alexis smiled. “I tried to warn you.” She hesitated before saying, “He’s all gung-ho about Mixed Martial Arts. I wouldn’t fight him again if I were you.”

  Ryan glared at her, and she thought he was going to yell at her for not disclosing that information before he took a fist to the face, but he was concerned about something else. “Are you safe?”

  “This is the worst it’s been. Mostly he’s creepy. Sitting outside my house, leaving dozens of messages every day, showing up at the bars I went to. After I filed for a protection order, he mostly disappeared; apparently this was so that he could avoid being served. He was only sending flowers for a while, which I had been cutting up and sending back to his house, but he popped up again the night we ran into each other at the drugstore. Made some threats, so I called the sheriff’s office when I got home, and they told me that the order was never served. Apparently if he doesn’t get it, it doesn’t count.”

  “Sounds like a load of crap if you ask me.”

  Alexis forced a smile and smoothed the napkin in her lap. “I’m working on getting it fixed. Of course he doesn’t seem to care about it, and if he continually dodges the police, there isn’t much I can do about it. Protection order or not.”

  “Maybe you should hire a bodyguard. I’d do it, but…” Ryan pointed to his face, “I don’t think I’m qualified in this particular case.”

  The thought of a stranger watching her constantly and staying in her home sent a shiver down her spine—or maybe it was Ryan’s offering—all she knew was that it wasn’t an option. “I’d rather not pay someone else to stalk me. Besides, I have a great alarm system at my house in Maple Field. It wasn’t something I considered for this weekend, but I’ll just have to stay away from the Cape until this all gets sorted out.”

  “What about when you’re not home?” He stopped to look at his empty plate. “When you’re trolling the bars?”

  This was it. The conversation she was actually dreading. She wouldn’t mind talking for hours about Richard, as long as it didn’t segue into love and relationships. Normally, Alexis would just laugh at him and his apparent jealously over the thought of her at a bar picking up another guy, but this time it wasn’t funny. Fear in the form of a cold sweat rose to the surface of her skin, chilling her and giving her goose bumps in the thick, warm morning air.

  “I—I’m not really doing that right now.” What? Why would she say that? She was leading him on, even if she was telling the truth. “Because my sister is around.” This didn’t sound right, but it’s all she could muster.

  Ryan’s blue eyes carefully studied her, and she was sure he was searching for the hope of an “us” in her.

  “Alexis, if you’re that afraid of this guy, I can pick you up and take you on your errands. After work, of course.”

  “Wait. What?” This wasn’t about love and marriage. It was about protecting her, which had the potential of being worse in the long run. But at least he wasn’t negotiating the number of children they would have.

  “I’ll pick you up to go grocery shopping. I’m not much of a fighter, but there’s strength in numbers. If we’re in public places, I doubt he’ll punch me in the face—or stomach—again.”

  Blood rushed back through Alexis’s entire body, the goose skin subsided, and her breath was no longer tight.

  “That’s sweet, but I have protection.” Alexis lifted her purse from its perch on the back of her chair and slowly lifted her Taser out of her purse far enough so Ryan could see what it was, but quickly put it back when the waitress walked by.

  Ryan leaned forward on the table and whispered, “Is that even legal here?”

  Alexis shook her head. “But I don’t plan to let that stop me if that idiot tries anything serious.”

  “And today wasn’t serious enough?” Ryan sat up and pushed his plate to the side.

  A grin crossed Alexis’s face. “It was upstairs. By the time I would have gotten it out of my purse and back down to the porch, he would have been gone and I would have been fined by the police officers.”

  “Sure,” Ryan said with a smile. “Because a fine is a big deal to someone like you.”

  “Someone like me?”

  “You have more money than you know what to do with. I think you could pay a small fine to prevent me from getting sucker punched in the gut.” His smile faded. “But seriously, I’ve got a bad feeling about this guy, and it’s not just the ache in my jaw. He’s dangerous. You need to be really careful.”

  Alexis waved her hand at him. “I’ll be fine. I’ve been taking care of myself for quite some time now. Besides it’s only a matter of time before he’s in prison.”

  Ryan started to say something but stopped himself. “Ready to go?”

  Alexis lay her napkin on the table and stood. “My restful weekend ended a few hours ago. Let’s head home.”

  As they exited the restaurant, Alexis’s phone rang. She hesitated when she saw that it was Riley calling. She took a deep breath and answered.

  Riley was screaming. “You need to get home right now.”

  Suddenly home was no longer appealing. Safer than the beach house—yes—but not better for her sanity. She looked up at Ryan, who gave her a half smile.

  In her head she knew that she had made a mistake the night before, but as he smiled at her, her body ached to hold him against her again. She considered bringing him back to the beach house and having her way with him all d
ay. A naked day. She would run her fingers—and tongue—along the length of his body. If he would agree to just sex and a secondary friendship, which seemed more likely as each minute passed, Alexis could certainly find a way to enjoy him. That wouldn't be hard at all.

  Her clouded judgment was cleared when Riley continued her rant. “The damn dog puked in the living room! It’s all over my clothes.”

  Alexis smiled in satisfaction. Served her right for leaving her clothes all over the floor.

  “We’re just leaving now,” Alexis said without raising her voice or acknowledging anything that Riley was saying. “I’ll be home in a few hours.” She hung up the phone without another word, though she could hear Riley shrieking until she hit the “end” button.

  “Problem at home?” Ryan asked as they sat in the car.

  “Not mine.”

  Alexis started the car, put it into gear, and headed in the direction of Maple Field. Not once on the drive was the sex mentioned. With each exhalation, Alexis released some of her anxiety. With each inhalation of his scent, the desire for more of him settled in, starting at her inner thighs and eventually working its way up across her chest and to her lips.

  As she pulled into Michael and Caitlyn's driveway, she was suddenly struck with an idea. “Do you eat hot dogs?”

  Ryan gave her a look that seemed to question her sanity. “First baseball and now hot dogs. Who doesn't eat hot dogs? I think it may be treason in this country not to like hot dogs.”

  She breathed out a chuckle. “We should eat hot dogs tomorrow.” She stopped the car and pulled the brake. Ryan stared at her as though she was speaking a foreign language, so she added, “At my house.” And then,” For Memorial Day.”