Mind Game

by Iris Johansen

  “But he’s alive.” The relief was overwhelming. “Dear God, Caleb. He’s alive.”

  He nodded. “More alive than most people I’ve met. He’s fairly exceptional. I was glad it worked out.”

  “And you couldn’t tell me, dammit?” Then she shook her head. “No, I know you couldn’t. It would have been a risk you couldn’t take if I hadn’t thought he was dead, too.”

  “Judgment call,” he said quietly. “Not one I wanted to make.”

  “I know. I know. I’d probably have done the same.” She swallowed to ease the tightness in her throat. It was hard to think, hard to absorb everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours. Death and pain and violence, and yet a good man who might have died had survived.

  And people she loved had also survived.

  So think of the good things that made life worth living.

  She whirled on Caleb. “Do one more thing for me.”

  “What?”

  “Call Haroun and tell him to pull some strings and get us out of here as soon as possible. I don’t care if you reason or blackmail or even use that damn Persuasion. Make it happen.” She turned and started back up the hill. “Just get me back to Loch Gaelkar to be with Eve.”

  CHAPTER

  20

  DUBAI INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT

  The strings that Haroun had pulled had been both efficient and magically speedy, Jane thought eight hours later as Joe drew up at the terminal in front of Caleb’s Gulfstream.

  “I’ll run up and file the flight plan,” Caleb said as he jumped out of the car and headed toward the jet. “I’ll contact you later, Quinn. If there’s any trouble, call me and I’ll try to straighten it out with Haroun.”

  “I don’t believe I’ll require your help,” Joe called after him drily. “Just get Lisa and Jane back to Gaelkar safely and leave all the diplomacy and legal stuff to me. At least no one is going to hire a hit man to take me out. I’m not too sure about your prospects.”

  Caleb gave him a wave and disappeared into the plane.

  “How long will you have to stay here, Joe?” Jane asked as she and Lisa got out of the car. “I thought we were almost finished.”

  “We are,” Joe said. “The local police just want reports filled out and all the details explained. We tried to blur what had been going on, but explanations will come better from me, since I’m a cop, too. With any luck, I should be only eight or nine hours behind you. I called Jock and asked him to pick you up in Edinburgh when Caleb flies in.” He turned to Lisa and said quietly, “You did very well. You can play on my team anytime.”

  “Thank you.” She smiled faintly. “Told you so. Good-bye, Joe.” She moved toward the steps. “I’ll see you at Gaelkar.”

  Joe was frowning as he watched her climb the steps. “She’s too quiet. She’s been like a zombie since we left Mleiha. I don’t like it.”

  Neither did Jane. But she hadn’t had time to think about a way to get through to Lisa during the past hours. “I’ll work on it.” She turned and went into his arms and held him tightly. “I want you back at Gaelkar, Joe. I want us all together, with no exotic bazaars or burning sands or people wanting to shoot each other. You know I’m going to have to answer to Eve if I show up without you.”

  “Eight or nine hours,” he repeated gently.

  She stepped back and gave him a quick kiss on his cheek. “See to it.” She turned and ran up the steps and into the plane.

  Lisa was sitting on the white leather couch in the main cabin and was staring out the window. She glanced at Jane as she came through the door. “Seth came out of the cockpit and said that he’d been given permission to take off and that we should just relax and try to rest.”

  “Good for him.” Jane was gazing worriedly at her pale face and taut shoulders. “Did he happen to tell you how we’re going to do that? Because I haven’t got a clue right now.”

  “Seth said it would be the best thing to do.” She looked out the window again. “It’s a long flight.”

  “It’s going to seem even longer if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.” She hadn’t meant to jump right into jarring Lisa out of this icy lethargy, but she couldn’t stand it. Lisa was always brimming with vitality and passion. The sight of her like this made Jane ache to reach out to her. “What’s wrong with you? How can I help?”

  “You can’t.” Lisa forced a smile. “I’m fine. Everything is fine. Seth is alive. You’re alive. What could be better?”

  “You tell me,” Jane said grimly. “You look as if you’re going to shatter in a million pieces if you move the wrong way. Stop pretending and let me do something for you. Talk to me.”

  “I … can’t.” She moistened her lips. “I want to do it. I think I care about you more than I do anybody but Seth. You’d try, but you couldn’t—I’m sorry, Jane.”

  Jane could see that. There was desperation mixed in that fragile balance that was Lisa at this moment. Whatever was bottled up inside her, she wasn’t going to be able to release right now.

  But that didn’t mean that she couldn’t give Lisa the knowledge that she was here for her.

  “Scoot over.” She grabbed a fur coverlet from one of the chairs and sat down on the couch beside Lisa. “You don’t have to say anything.” She pulled her close and tucked the throw over both of them. “Try to nap. If you can’t do that, just relax. That will make Caleb happy, and that’s always the number-one game plan with you.”

  Lisa was still stiff. “What are you doing?”

  “Isn’t it obvious? When I was a kid, I wasn’t easy for Eve. I’d grown up on the streets and in a dozen foster homes. Independent. Stubborn. Afraid to let even her get too close. But sometimes when things went really wrong for me, we’d curl up together on the porch swing, and that helped. So shut up, relax, and let me pass what I learned on to you.”

  Lisa’s back was straight, unyielding, but she gingerly laid her head on Jane’s shoulder. “I’m not a kid.”

  “I know. Neither you nor Caleb really had the chance to be. So make up for lost time.” She was gently stroking back the hair from Lisa’s temple. “Hey, use me. And I’ll use you. It was a bad day for me, too.”

  “I know.” Lisa was gradually relaxing against Jane. “A day you would never have had if I hadn’t come into your life,” she whispered. “I hated it. And I knew I couldn’t ever let Santara hurt you.…”

  EDINBURGH AIRPORT

  Jane opened the cockpit door the moment Caleb turned off the engine after taxiing to the hangar.

  “Go back there and be with Lisa,” she said curtly. “She needs you. And don’t tell me to wait or that it’s not the time. You make it the time.” She dropped down in the copilot’s seat. “I’ll wait here for you. I did my best and it was a good best. But nothing’s going to help until you tell her how to handle this.”

  Caleb’s gaze was on her face. “I knew there would be a problem. Did she talk to you?”

  “Lisa? I tried to get her to talk, but she wouldn’t do it.” She met his eyes. “But I figured it out pretty quickly. She wouldn’t talk to me because she knew I couldn’t understand. No one could understand but you.” She paused. “That was the first time she’d used her blood talent to kill anyone. She’s probably filled with all kinds of confusion and emotions. Even if Santara deserved to die, killing is a terrible thing. To kill as Lisa did must be traumatic.”

  “She’s known it was coming for most of her life,” Caleb said. “She was welcoming it when she thought it would protect me.” He nodded. “But, yes, the first time isn’t easy to accept.” He got to his feet. “I’ll take care of it.”

  “How do you take care of something like that?”

  He smiled. “I talk to her about choices and forgiving herself and then I listen and let it all come out.” He shrugged. “And maybe I tell her about what I went through my first few times. It might help her.”

  It was indicative of Caleb’s feeling for Lisa that he was willing to reveal that vulnerability. “It might
help her more if you can convince her not to do it again.”

  He turned and opened the cockpit door. “That’s included under choices.” He closed the door behind him.

  She leaned back in the seat and tried to relax. It might be a long conversation, because Caleb would take his time and not cheat Lisa of one bit of the attention she needed from him.

  Choices.

  So much of her life since she had met Caleb had been connected with choices. Good choices. Bad choices. Sometimes no choice at all because it was safer. She had made a lot of those decisions over the years.

  And Caleb had made choices, too. One of those choices had been to come after her and save her life when he knew that it could mean losing his own.

  And there had been other choices that had saved both her and Eve and Michael. Easier to sidestep those choices and ignore them because the emotional impact would have been too great to ignore otherwise.

  But after today, it was time to look at all those choices and make a few more of her own.…

  * * *

  “Better?” Jane asked quietly as she walked down the airplane steps with Lisa after Jock’s car drew up in front of the hangar.

  Lisa nodded. “Much better.”

  Jane smiled. “I should have known that Caleb would be able to ‘fix what ailed’ you as they say in Atlanta.”

  “What a peculiar saying.” Lisa smiled faintly. “And Seth told me to fix myself and he’d always be around with a Band-Aid. I told him that you’d already given me one.”

  “Not nearly as effective, I’m certain.”

  Lisa stopped as they reached the bottom of the steps. “No, but healing, very healing.” She gave Jane an awkward hug. “It made me feel … wanted.”

  “And you are.” Her arms tightened around Lisa and then she took a step back. “Go on. Eve’s going to want to know everything that happened. Joe has already talked to her, but the main thing she’s going to want to know is that he’s safe. Make sure you tell her that this final cleanup he’s doing isn’t dangerous.”

  Lisa frowned. “You’re not coming with me?”

  Jane shook her head. “I have a few things I need to talk to Caleb about. Tell Jock I’ll wait until Joe flies in and return to Gaelkar with him.”

  Lisa nodded. “Whatever.” She moved toward Jock’s car. “Seth didn’t mention you weren’t going with me.” She smiled mischievously at Jane over her shoulder. “But I was talking all about me, wasn’t I? He probably couldn’t get a word in edgewise. I can never imagine anything more interesting than what I’m going through.” She picked up her pace as she saw Jock wave to her. “See you later, Jane.”

  Jane lifted her hand and watched Lisa get into the car. Lisa was always making flip comments about herself and her own self-absorption, but she had tried to protect Jane today at the risk of her own life. So how did that relate? She was probably as complicated in her way as her brother.

  What was she thinking? No one was as complicated as Caleb. She turned and went back up the steps of the plane.

  Caleb was waiting for her at the top of the steps with a cup of coffee in his hand. “Hello.” He handed her the cup. “I thought you’d be back. You were far too quiet when I came back after talking to Lisa. But then Jock called and said he was coming onto the airport grounds, and I knew you wouldn’t be happy until you knew for sure that Lisa was going to be all right.”

  She took a drink of the coffee. “You’re right. I had to know.” She smiled. “So I had to ask her. That’s why I went down to the tarmac with her. It was far more reassuring coming from her than it would have been from you.”

  He went still. “Then why did you come back?”

  “Unfinished business.” She set her cup down on the table beside the door. “We have so much unfinished business, Caleb.” She moistened her lips. “And I’m going to choose to finish it tonight, if you’re willing.” She began to unbutton her blouse. “Choices, Caleb. How many times have you told me that I was afraid of you, that otherwise I’d—”

  “What is this?” He was very still, his eyes on her fingers moving on the buttons. “Why now? What are you doing?”

  “You didn’t let me finish.” She shrugged, her fingers dropping away from the open shirt. “I was afraid of you. I always felt too much whenever I was around you. You played all those mind games with me and I never knew where I was at.” She met his eyes. “Or where you were going to take me. I still don’t. But I’m choosing to take a chance on you.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you mean something to me. I don’t know what it is yet, but I get angry when I think of what you went through all those years ago. I’m mad at myself that I might have treated you like that, too, because you made me feel—”

  “Don’t be foolish. You never treated me like them,” he said harshly. “You don’t know anything about what I—”

  “No, I don’t. And I probably won’t ever know. But I know I’ll never judge you because of fear or ignorance again.”

  “No, you’d rather melt all over me with that crappy sympathy,” he said through set teeth. “I told you I didn’t want or need it. I’ve never needed it. My terms, Jane. Always, my terms. So get the hell out of here.”

  “Why? Because you’ll only come after me again.” She took a step toward him. “Or I’ll come after you. Because it’s not finished.”

  “No. But then it will be on my terms. It won’t be because you think I saved your damn life and—”

  “Which you did.”

  “Or because you listened to all that crap from Lisa about how we grew up.”

  “Not crap. But in the end, the main effect of that was that it held up a mirror to me.”

  His lips twisted. “And judging by the fact that you’re taking off your clothes, you’re letting that mirror reflect a person dripping with pity who’s trying to save me from myself with sex.” He added mockingly, “Not that I don’t approve of the means. It’s my very favorite. It’s just in this case, I resent the implication that I—”

  “Shut up.” Her hands clenched into fists at her sides. “Don’t you know how hard this is for me? I’m trying to be honest with you because I believe it’s the only chance we have. But truth makes me incredibly vulnerable with someone like you.” She moistened her lips. “But there’s really no one like you, is there? You developed that Persuasion as a protective device, but you became too good at it. For heaven’s sake, when you were only a kid, you found a way to dominate Teresa Romano. The only way she thought she could regain control was to kill you.”

  “Extreme example, Jane.”

  “Is it? It’s one of the things I have to learn about you. I want to learn, Caleb. I don’t think you want me to be anyone but who I am, but I could be wrong.” She stared him in the eye. “Am I?”

  He was silent. “God no,” he finally said roughly. “I have more than enough to deal with in you as you are.”

  “Then deal with me.” She shrugged out of her shirt and let it drop to the floor. “But no hallucinations about rose gardens or Cira and her Antonio or any of the other tricks you can pull out of your hat. All very fascinating and addictive.” She was walking toward him. “But I want it to be honest, Caleb. Please. No Persuasion.”

  He let her come within a foot of him before he spoke. “You made the choice. This may not be what you want from me. Too bad. I’m not going to let you go.”

  She took another step. “Honesty is all I want from you, Caleb.”

  He gazed at her for an instant and then slowly nodded. “No hallucinations, no game playing.” He was smiling at her. “This time. But I’m not going to be able to hold off forever. I want you addicted.” He was shrugging out of his clothes. “I want you to wake in the middle of the night burning. I want you to reach out for me in the dark and feel empty if I’m not there. I want you to look at me across a room and feel your stomach clench because you want to take me inside you.” He was quickly stripping off her clothes. “Too long, Jane. We’ve waited too long.”r />
  Yes, we have, she thought dazedly. And she couldn’t wait any longer. She could feel the warmth his naked body was emitting. She tried to step closer to him.

  “No.” He was lifting her, sliding her legs around his hips. “Let me.…” He was sitting down on the couch, positioning her, while his lips moved across her breasts, biting and licking.

  She inhaled sharply as he took her nipple in his teeth and shook it. More. She needed more. She tried to move closer.

  “No.”

  “Don’t tell me no. I need it. Don’t try to control me.”

  He stopped and then chuckled. “Control can be good in this position.” He looked her in the eyes. “But have it your way.”

  He was suddenly inside her.

  But still moving excruciatingly slowly, filling her, teasing her.

  She couldn’t breathe. She was dizzy, shaking.

  Then she was burning, throbbing, her skin flushed, her whole body racked with sensation.

  “I could go on like this.” His voice was suddenly thick, tense. “But it will kill me.”

  “That can’t happen.” Her nails dug into his shoulders. “I won’t—allow it.”

  “Thank God.” He lifted her and then plunged deep.

  She cried out.

  Wildness.

  Fullness.

  Deeper.

  She heard him muttering in her ear, but she couldn’t make out the words.

  Fast.

  Fierce.

  Lifting.

  Moving.

  Strong. He was so strong.…

  He was looking down at her, his face flushed, his lips beautifully sensual. “I … need—” He broke off. “Don’t look now, but that control you were so afraid of is about to … shatter.” His head lowered until their lips were only a breath apart. “With your permission…”

  She couldn’t answer. She lunged upward, taking his mouth, taking anything and everything he was offering.

  Madness.

  Wildness.