The Earl of Heartbreak

by Bethany M. Sefchick

  Chapter Sixteen

  With a growl, Rayne reached out and grabbed Sarah, spinning her around so that he could pin her to the desk. "I want you," he hissed hotly. "Oh, how I have wanted you these last few days. It nearly killed me to stay away when I all could think of was burying my cock in your delectable heat." He knew his words were both crude and shocking but given the way Sarah drew in her breath and arched against him with need, he didn't think she particularly minded. In fact, she rather seemed to be enjoying herself.

  "Then why did you stay away?" she asked as he began peppering her neck with hot, open-mouthed kisses that left her immediately panting for more. Even though she already knew the answer. She simply wanted to hear him say those words again.

  "Because it was the right thing to do. Or so I thought." Actually, it had been guilt more than anything, but Sarah didn't need to know that.

  "Then I firmly believe that you should stop doing the right thing." Yes, on that point, Sarah was quite certain. After that, however, she was not certain of anything else as Rayne's clever fingers began working at the back of her gown.

  Beneath his lips and his fingertips, Sarah's skin was so soft that Rayne thought he might die of pleasure if nothing else. He could bed a thousand women and he would never, ever find a woman who fired this passion in him the way she did. When the front of her gown gaped open, he delved his hand inside, eager to cup her breast and flick her taut nipples until she begged him to take her. She had foregone undergarments this evening, likely because she was preparing for bed and when he thumbed her nipple now, she hissed in pleasure.

  "Like that?" he asked as he nibbled at her throat.

  "Wretched man," she sighed with delight. "You know that I do."

  "Then more of the same you shall have." With a sharp tug, Rayne relieved Sarah of her gown and laid her back across the desk, her body all but bare to him save for her drawers. "Ah, I have dreamed of you like this, sweetheart." He reached down to find the slit in her undergarments and then slid his finger through, finding her already wet for him. "So many times I have dreamed of taking you thus. Of having you whenever I desire. Wherever I desire."

  Feeling more than a little wanton, Sarah spread her legs wider, a thrill shooting through her at how open she was for him. The fact that he could feel but not see her most secret of areas somehow made the thrill all the greater. "Then I firmly believe that it is time to make your dreams come true, my lord." She knew she was playing the minx but she did not care. She enjoyed teasing him, and after all of the misery he had put them both through the last few days, he deserved it.

  Rayne leaned down and kissed her breasts, savoring the feel of Sarah's delectable body beneath his. In his fantasies, he had imagined her naked and writhing on his desk in unbridled passion. Well, this was not his desk, but it would have to do - for now. After all, he had plenty of other fantasies involving Sarah and furniture. He decided to save the one where she straddled him as he sat in his opulent study chair at Fieldown for later. For now, this would have to do.

  As her nipples hardened with his teasing, she grew wetter still, his questing fingers coaxing more from her than she likely knew she was capable of. Beneath his hands, she thrashed wildly, forcing him to pin her hands to the desk above her, holding her prisoner. All that seemed to do was increase her desire for him, something he made certain to note. Who could have guessed that prim and proper Sarah had something of a wild streak when it came to bedsport?

  "Ah, Sarah, love," Rayne growled. "I find that I cannot wait this time. Next time..." Well, he meant to promise her all manner of things for next time, including bringing her to pleasure first - something he had yet to do, for she drove him so mad with desire. Whatever words he might have said then were lost when she bucked her hips against his hand, driving his questing fingers deeper inside of her.

  "Later," she all but panted. "Tonight. Just please ease this ache, Rayne. I am begging you." Sarah had been completely unaware that this wild and wanton side of her had even existed, but Rayne had brought it to life the night he had made love to her in the summerhouse. Now that she knew this part of her existed, it was all she could think about. No wonder the Society dragons worried so much over just a single kiss. If this was what a kiss could lead to, then it was little wonder they were terrified of anything more.

  With what seemed like a sigh of relief, Rayne reached down and undid the placket on his breeches, freeing his already hard cock. "Some time, I will do this right, I swear to you, Sarah," he growled, "but that time is not now." Then he thrust inside of her hard and fast, using the silt in her drawers to guide him.

  It was both so unexpected and yet so erotic at the same time, that Sarah cried out her release as soon as Rayne entered her, her body tightening quickly as passions swirled within her. As she looked down, she could see him thrusting into her, his hips driving fast, all while she remained completely covered. The sight of him plunging into her through her drawers was, for some reason, the most erotic thing she had ever seen - and that included an entire book filled with numerous depictions of how a woman might be pleasured by multiple men that she had discovered in Frost's London study one day last year. At the very thought of one of those erotic drawings, Sarah felt her body begin to tighten again, her first release not nearly enough to soothe the ache inside of her.

  "Ah, there is my girl. My Sarah." Rayne's voice was thick as he leaned over her, his thrusts shallower now and somehow far more pleasurable. He still held her hands pinned above her head with his much larger one. His free hand was at her waist, holding her still, as if commanding her to take all that he had to give her and more. "Come for me, Sarah. I want to feel you find your release as I drive into that sweet little cunny of yours."

  The words were scandalous, not truly fit for a lady's ears, but yet, somehow, they fed Sarah's desire even more. She was The One, the single lady in all of Society that was above reproach in all things. That sort of talk should not excite her. But it did. Very much so. And she was not in the least bit ashamed.

  Rayne's thrusts changed again as he shifted above her once more. Now they were slower and deeper as he leaned over to take one taut nipple in his mouth to suckle. She thrashed from side to side on the top of the desk, his hard body pinning her in place, forcing her to take all that he had to give.

  Then, finally, when she thought she could endure no more, she felt the same familiar tug of ultimate pleasure begin to wash over her once more and with a strangled cry, Sarah let herself go. She felt Rayne begin to pull away from her then, his own release likely close as well. But she would not let him go. They were in this together or not at all. Arching up, she wrapped her legs around his waist, holding him in place so that once more, he would spill his seed inside of her.

  "Sarah!" Her name was a cry on Rayne's lips, though a cry of pleasure or fear she did not know. Nor did she care. If they were going to embark upon an affair, they would not do so by half measures. She wanted to feel him inside of her - whatever the consequences. After a lifetime of denial, she wanted it all. Even if there were consequences later on.

  Rayne came with one final thrust, roaring out his release as he drove into her so hard that she thought she might split in two. He released her hands and she reached up to clutch his shoulders, fearful that he might pull away. She need not have worried for when he came, he gave her all that he had, spilling his seed inside of her tight sheath as he had done the other night. When she felt that, Sarah gave herself over to the blackness that had been threatening the very edges of her vision from the moment she had stormed into the study. She had never been happier. Or more content. She would not think of the future. All she would think of was now.

  When she finally awoke, Sarah was a bit surprised to see that she was in her own bed. She was not surprised, however, to find Rayne lying beside her watching her with drowsy eyes. He was also, thankfully, just as naked as she was. She had no idea when he had removed her drawers or how he had managed to get her upstairs and into her chambers without
anyone on the staff spotting them, but she found she didn't care over much. She was with Rayne. In bed. After he had tumbled her on her brother's desk. The rest of the details didn't seem all that important at the moment.

  "I thought I would need to retrieve your smelling salts," he teased as she yawned and stretched in his embrace like a cat in need of a good scratch. Much like Taffy and Toffee did. "You were out of things for quite some time."

  "That was quite some experience," she tossed back as she luxuriated in the feel of his warm, hard body against hers.

  Rayne smiled down at her, his head propped on his hand. "Did you enjoy yourself?"

  "You know that I did." How could she not have? This was what she wanted, what she had longed for, after all. "My question is, did you?"

  For a moment his expression grew serious before widening into that lopsided smile again. "Of course I did. How can you doubt that for a moment?"

  "Rogue." She slapped at his arm playfully, which she had come to learn he rather enjoyed. "You had me worried for a moment."

  He kissed her lightly on her forehead. "No, Sarah, never doubt how much pleasure you bring me." Rayne had been with countless women over the years. Likely more than he should have been. However none of them, not even the most sexually skilled lovers, compared to the sheer joy and pleasure Sarah brought him.

  After she had fainted in the study, Rayne had quickly scooped her into his arms and carried her to her bedchamber, being careful to avoid the myriad of servants who still roamed the house. His greatest fear was that her maid Colleen would catch him as he undid the latch to Sarah's chambers and slipped inside. It wasn't as if he could be quiet about it.

  Once he had laid Sarah down on her bed, he had thought about slipping back out just as quietly and returning to his own chambers. It would have been the right thing to do. The proper thing to do. However, Rayne was finished with doing what was right and proper. He had wanted to stay and continue to make love with Sarah throughout the night. So he had decided to do just that.

  Now, she was naked in his arms. Precisely where he had dreamed of her for so long. She was also extremely curious and eager for more of his tender caresses and lovemaking, much to his delight. Had there ever been a woman so perfect? He doubted it very much.

  Sarah stroked her fingertips along his bare arm, enjoying the feel of the crisp hair there. "Until the other night, I was an innocent," she reminded him. "I fear I do not have the skills other women do."

  Sarah shrieked as Rayne grasped her and rolled her beneath him so that he could raise up on his arms and peer down at her. "I have said this before but I shall say it again. All of those other women? No matter how many of them there were, they were always poor substitutes for you. As I bedded them, it was you I was imagining beneath me, Sarah. You that I was pleasuring. Horrible as that may sound and awful as it was of me, it is the absolute truth. In many ways, I am not a good man, sweetheart. What I did to those women was wrong, but after a lifetime of torment, of being near you but never being able to have you? I did what I could to ease that ache. I am only a man."

  Currently, the very male part of Rayne was pressing against her stomach, so Sarah was supremely aware of how very much a man he was. "You do not have to explain." She reached up and stroked his hair back. "Those men I danced with at those balls over the years? In my mind they were all you. My transgressions were not so graphic as yours, but they were sins against those men just the same. We are not so very different after all, you and I." Arching up, she kissed him, allowing her aching breasts to brush against the coarse hair of his chest, making her shiver again with need. Would there ever be a time when she would have her fill of him? She thought not.

  That, of course, presented something of a problem. Or would when Frost returned. But he was not here yet, nor did she had a firm idea of when he would be. So for tonight and the days that came after, Sarah decided that she would adhere to her word. She would enjoy Rayne and all that he offered. She would face the future when it happened.

  "So you think we are alike?" Rayne teased. He was thoroughly enjoying himself in a way he never did with the other women he had bedded. He never revealed much of himself to them, but with Sarah, she already knew all of his secrets - or most of them anyway - so there was nothing to hide.

  She ran a finger down his chest, as if she was an experienced courtesan - which she most certainly was not. "I know so. For instance, I like to learn."

  "And what, precisely, would you like to learn at this moment?" Rayne rolled her over as he said this so that she could straddle his hips. It was not exactly like his fantasy but it would do for now.

  "How to please you." She leaned forward over the length of his body as he had done to her in the study and kissed his bare shoulder. "For I know there is more. Much more. And I wish for you to teach me." Then she bit Rayne's earlobe lightly before she whispered her next words rather seductively. "I saw Frost's naughty books. The ones he keeps behind that globe in his study."

  Rayne yelped as she reached between them to cup his hard length. "Sarah!" For as shocked as he was that she had peeked into Frost's private book collection, he was just as aroused by the thought.

  "What?" she questioned with a naughty grin, her eyebrow quirked. "Do not tell me you have not imagined me doing some of those naughty things to you, Brook Bexley, for I know that would be a lie."

  Settling her more fully over his hips, Rayne reached up to run his fingertip over her breast and across her nipple, making her shudder. "Oh, I shan't deny it, my darling Sarah. In fact, I have imagined far worse things than those you found in those books." He couldn't help it. He grinned again, thoroughly enjoying himself now. "Or better things, depending on one's definition, I suppose."

  Rayne adored this side of Sarah, one that nobody - not even him - ever saw. This side of her was young and playful, full of life and more than just a little bit naughty. This was the Sarah that might have been had her father not used her against her brother as a pawn in his awful power games. This was the side of her that he had first glimpsed so long ago, that year that she was eighteen and bouncing about Fieldown as if she owned the place. He had fallen in love with her that day and he loved her still.

  Love.

  Yes, he thought as he looked up at her, her green eyes dancing with mischief mixed with heated desire. He loved her. Which was why, when the time came, he would do the hard but right thing. He would walk away.

  In the end, Sarah might hate him. In fact, Rayne was all but certain she would. In the process, he would likely destroy her love for him, the same love that he could see reflected in her eyes. But it would be for the best. Because he had learned long ago that love was giving up one's own desires for someone else's. He might desire her and she him, but she also desired to keep her place in her family. After years of having the value of family beaten into his head, Rayne knew that Frost would never allow Sarah to be taken away from those she loved. Especially not by a reprobate like Rayne. So therefore, in order for Sarah to keep her family, Rayne would have to be the one to walk away.

  He had expected that, of course. Knew it deep down in his very bones. What he hadn't expected was how much the idea of walking away from Sarah would hurt. Because beneath everything that made him who he was, beneath all of the charm and all of the roguish behavior, Brook Bexley was more than just the Earl of Heartbreak.

  He was a man who had only ever wished to do good things, to make a positive impact on Society by being more than just another lazy, worthless lord of the land. By studying the past so that the present could learn. By bringing ancient treasures to light so that everyone could enjoy them once more. And, most of all, by loving a woman who might not need him, but one that he needed as much as he needed air to breathe.

  Yet Rayne had been trapped by the constraints of his own birth. Lords and heirs did not work or study or investigate the past. His time abroad was seen as playing and not really anything serious, just a frivolous way to kill time until he was ready to take his place in
Society. Those same men - men like he and his friends - were expected to make the best possible matches to ensure the continuation of their line, to choose a woman who was meek and mild, who would breed well and ask no questions.

  And all of those things were things that Rayne could not do. He had tried. And he had failed. But most of all, he had been forced to walk away from the one thing - the one woman - he desired most in the world. Sarah. He had never been the same since.

  Rayne had been denied the woman he loved, chosen to bed other women in order to soothe the hurt he felt inside. All of those things had combined into creating the man who lay beneath Lady Sarah Tillsbury now, ready to offer her his heart and knowing all the while that he could not. And that in the end, he would crush hers.

  Because he had to. Because it was the best thing for her. After all, she could pick another husband if she chose. Even another lover if she was so bold. She could not find another family. Therefore, what she desired had to come first. He had to place her needs before his, because in his mind, that was what love meant. Choosing another over self. It was the only sort of love that he knew. In the end, it was all Rayne had to offer Sarah, even though he knew it could never, ever be enough.

  Looking up into Sarah's beautiful face, Rayne knew he would never do this again. He might bed other women, but only for a night. No more mistresses or long-term affairs. He might not be able to have Sarah forever, but he would also not betray her or spoil their time together by inviting another woman to take her place. The Marietta Crestwoods of the world would simply have to find other fools and idiots to prey upon.

  All of this and more flashed through Rayne's mind in an instant, but he carefully tucked all of those thoughts back down inside of him where they could not harm anyone - especially him.

  "So what would you like to learn then, Sarah?" Rayne asked, reaching up to stroke away a lock of hair that had fallen into her eyes. "Would you like to learn all of those naughty things that you saw in Frost's book? For I can teach you." Then he grinned wickedly. "Among other things, I am an excellent teacher."