The Me I Used to Be

by Jennifer Ryan

  “He told me he’s working at Cross Cellars. He discovered he had a palate for wine. I’m guessing he’s stealing cheaper bottles of wine, doctoring them to have the flavor of something more expensive, rebottling and relabeling them, and selling them for something with a much higher price tag.”

  “We suspect he sells the counterfeit wine to unsuspecting high-end clients with deep wallets.”

  “I saw Darren with a woman. He called her his client, up from L.A. I didn’t see him hand her anything, but she walked out of the restaurant carrying a huge purse. They could have made the exchange over lunch and she put the wine bottles in her bag.”

  “Or set up a time and place for delivery.”

  “So, you want me to get close to Darren and find out the nitty-gritty of what he’s doing, and how, so you can bust him.”

  Chris washed down the slider he’d devoured with the last of his beer. “I want you sitting behind your computer on the porch with the sun on your face and your hair falling over your shoulders. I don’t want to see how you flinch away from everyone, including me. I want you to walk into a restaurant and sit wherever the hell you want without having to protect your back. I want you happy and doing what you love.”

  “You’re sitting with your back to the wall, too, you know.”

  “I’m a cop. You’re a web designer.”

  “I’m different now. I’m not the girl you used to know.”

  “You’re even more than that girl ever was, and she was pretty damn good. She had potential. You, you could do anything you set your mind to.”

  “Well, my mind is set on revenge. Darren stuck me in that cell. He took four years of my life. He made my father worry and hurt because he tried to take him down. He made my family turn their backs on me. So I’ll do what you ask and take him down and take my life back.”

  Chris stared at her in awe. “Okay. I’ll have your back. You need to keep in contact with me, but we can’t be seen together like this anymore.”

  She smiled, because the last part of that statement came out with a lot of disappointment that they wouldn’t be having drinks and appetizers together anytime soon. “I guess he wouldn’t believe we still hate each other if he saw you in here flirting with me,” she teased, but she liked it. In fact, she warmed up to him the longer they talked and sat close together.

  It could be the wine, but she thought it had everything to do with him.

  “You shouldn’t smile at me like that unless you want a deeper glimpse at how much I don’t hate you.”

  As much as that appealed, she’d been alone a long time. She needed to stay focused on the job ahead, not fall into old habits and run after fun, avoiding responsibility. “Darren will be back for more soon. Next time, I’ll be more open to his advances.”

  One side of Chris’s mouth drew back into a half frown filled with contempt. “You don’t need to be too receptive.”

  “The last thing I want is that scum putting his hands on me. I don’t think that’s what he intends. I think he wants something from me.”

  Chris’s gaze dropped and burned a trail down her body.

  “He doesn’t look at me like he wants me.” Not like you just did. Damn. Her whole body blazed with heat, but she tamped it down and focused. “I’m a means to an end.”

  “For what purpose?”

  “I don’t know yet, but I’m going to find out.” Because she wouldn’t let him get away with what he’d done and what he was doing anymore.

  “Be careful. You don’t know him the way you used to, either.”

  “He’s going to find I’m a woman he never should have crossed.”

  Bree brought the check.

  Evangeline tried to get her wallet, but Chris put his card on the tray and Bree rushed off with it. “Hey, I would have paid. You bought lunch when you drove me home from prison.”

  “Nope.”

  “This wasn’t a date.”

  “What else do you call two people having food and drinks? And I’m driving you home. That’s a date.”

  “Now who’s stubborn?”

  He chuckled, signed the receipt Bree brought back, then showed Bree the hefty tip. “If Darren asks, we had an argument and I left her here alone and pissed.”

  Bree nodded and snatched the small folder and walked off.

  “You think she’ll keep quiet?”

  “Probably. She has a thing for Darren, but knows he’s not dedicated to any one woman. What women see in him . . .” Chris shook his head.

  “He’s good-looking and knows all the right things to say to get a woman, he just doesn’t know how to keep one because he’s all about him.” I wish I’d figured that out sooner.

  Chris picked up her laptop bag and stood. “Shall we?” He held his arm out toward the door.

  She slipped the purse strap over her shoulder and walked ahead of him and out of the restaurant. She stopped on the sidewalk, unsure which car belonged to him.

  He put his hand on the small of her back and guided her down the street to a black Charger parked around the corner. He hit the unlock button on the key fob and held her door open for her, then handed her the computer bag. He walked around the car and slipped behind the wheel. The engine rumbled to life with the turn of the key. “How’s the bowling alley website coming?”

  She filled him in on the ride home. He liked her ideas and concept and even offered his opinion and suggestions. It had been forever since her parents took her and her brothers bowling. She appreciated Chris’s ideas, based on current experience, on how to make it easier to keep score and add more fun for customers.

  By the time they pulled into her driveway, she had a dozen notes she’d entered into her phone notepad.

  Chris parked, but didn’t cut the engine. “Hand me your phone.”

  She did.

  He punched something in and swiped at the screen. “I don’t like using you to take down Darren. In fact, I hate it. You need to be extra careful around him. He’s seen us together. He knows I want to take him down. Make him think you still hate me.” Chris looked up from her phone. “Convince him of it. Then get pictures, recordings, anything you can without getting caught. If you get him to trust you enough to tell you where he’s storing and counterfeiting the wine, a customer list, anything like that, let me know immediately. I’ll get a search warrant and we’ll finally have him. Under no circumstances are you to let him take you anywhere. You drive. Make sure you have a way out. Don’t let him trap you.”

  She rolled her eyes and drew back one side of her mouth. “He’s not going to hurt me.”

  “He had no problem setting up your father to go to jail. He didn’t bat an eye when it turned out to be you. He could have come forward and taken the heat for you. He’s looking out for the only person who counts. Himself.” Chris turned the phone to her and showed her what he’d done. “Tap this icon and the phone will start recording. I don’t need him to spill his guts. If he incriminates himself, it should be enough for a warrant.” Chris tapped another app. “This is a tracker for your phone.” He pulled out his phone, touched an icon, and the screen showed a map of her property with two blips on it. “That’s us. We can see where our phones are, so make sure you keep yours with you everywhere you go. Don’t let him take it from you. For any reason.”

  “I got it. I’ll be careful.”

  “You better be, because if anything happens to you . . . I don’t think I can endure carrying any more guilt where you’re concerned.” The sincerity in his words touched her deeply. He meant it.

  She meant something to him.

  It had been a long time since anyone cared about her. Her heart melted because he made her feel like she mattered. And as surprising as it seemed because of their past, she found herself drawn to him. She liked him. She didn’t expect that, but tonight she saw him in a whole new light.

  “I won’t let Darren get the jump on me again. I learned my lesson. I’m also tougher than I look, despite the scars.”

  “Because o
f them. I’ve read in your file every detail of what happened to you. You gave as good as you got in there.” His gaze turned to the view outside, but she knew he was thinking about every time she’d been attacked in prison.

  She put her hand on his arm. “Chris. You need to let it go. You are not responsible for what I did. I could have spoken up and told you that I didn’t know anything about that wine. I could have begged you to listen to me. I chose to stay silent. I tied your hands. That’s on me. Not you.”

  He held her hand. “You do anything like that again, I won’t be held responsible for what I’ll do. You need to be up front and honest about what you find out, even if you want to protect someone. I can only help you and keep you out of more trouble if you tell me everything.”

  “There is no way in hell I’ll cover for anyone else, especially Darren and Tom. I’ll get you what you need.” With that, she reluctantly slipped her hand free, missed the warmth of his, grabbed her bags, opened the door, and slipped out of the car. Before she closed the door, she stuck her head back in. “Thank you. That’s the best date I’ve ever had.”

  Before she pulled back, he hooked his hand at the back of her head and drew her closer as he leaned in. “Dates end with a kiss.” His lips were warm and soft against hers. He didn’t push or demand, but simply drew out the simple and wonderful kiss, which sent a wave of heat rippling through her, waking up desires she hadn’t felt this strongly ever. He ended it by pressing his forehead to hers, his breath whispering across her skin, his hand strong and steady at the back of her head, his eyes still closed. “Please, stay safe.” He said it like a prayer that made her want to promise him the world.

  All too soon, he released her and fell back into his seat. “Go. I’ll be in touch.”

  Stunned, her world spinning, she closed the door and watched him drive away. When he’d walked into the parole hearing, she’d feared him. Now she wanted to know if the strange feeling running through her was real or just her need to connect with someone who knew her past and the truth and saw her for who she really was, not what people thought she’d become.

  She hoisted her computer bag and purse up on her shoulder and walked to the house with her fingertips pressed to her lips where the warmth and taste of him lingered.

  She hoped for more. Because in one evening he’d come to mean something special to her.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Charlie kneeled and picked up the oversized building blocks and tossed them into the toy basket. Will loved seeing how high he could stack them before they fell over. His new obsession was creating long bridges. Charlie grabbed a plastic apple and carton of milk and tossed them into the mini–shopping cart.

  “Leave it.” Lindsey wiped her hands on a dish towel. “Let her see how even a small mess in this tiny place makes it hard to move around without stepping on or tripping over a toy. Let her see how we live and that we deserve better.”

  Charlie dropped a banana back on the floor, where it joined a wedge of cheese and a cake that was the same size as all the other plastic pieces. In his opinion, the manufacturer could have scaled things better. Even a three-year-old needed to know cakes and bananas were not the same size. Toys were meant to teach them these things.

  “She’s not going to care about the mess.” Lindsey patted his shoulder. “She knows why we asked her here. It’s going to be okay.”

  “I hope so. I just want her to do what’s right.”

  “She will. You’re her big brother. She looks up to you. Tell her what you want, what you expect, and ask her to follow through and back you.”

  “I wish Dad was still here.”

  Lindsey squatted in front of him. “I know how much you miss him, sweetheart. If he was still here, this deal would have been done.”

  “It’s like he knew he wouldn’t be here when she got home.”

  “His health had been failing for a long time. The doctors told him he needed to eat better, drink less, and decrease stress.”

  Charlie chucked a race car into the toy basket. “He spent more time complaining about what they told him to do than actually doing what they said.”

  “Your mother tried, but he did what he wanted.”

  Someone knocked on the door.

  Lindsey stood with him. “She’s here. Invite her in. I’ll check on dinner.”

  Charlie stepped over the remaining toys and stood in front of the door with his hand on the knob. He took a breath and prayed this went well. He needed Evangeline to see how much this meant to him.

  He opened the door and stepped back, allowing Evangeline to come inside. “Hey, sis. Thanks for coming.” Her slim figure and the scars still took him aback. He didn’t know if he’d ever get used to seeing those scars and not think about the terrible way she got them.

  “Free food without Mom glaring at me across the table. And my nephews. I’m in.” Evangeline leaned down and scooped up Will as he ran down the short hall and right into her arms.

  “Auntie.”

  Evangeline hugged Will close. The biggest smile Charlie had seen from her bloomed on her face and brightened her eyes. “Hello, monster. How are you?”

  “Food.”

  “A man after my own heart. I’m hungry, too.”

  Will nodded. “Mama said when you come.”

  “I’m here. Let’s eat.” Evangeline walked off-kilter toward the kitchen with Will on her hip.

  “How’s the leg?” Charlie hated how she limped under Will’s added weight, knowing the hit she took from the car to save Will had added to her pain.

  “Better. Don’t worry about it. Where’s Henry?”

  “He went down late for his nap. He’s still sleeping.”

  Lindsey came out of the kitchen. “Which means he’ll be up late tonight.”

  Evangeline had no hesitation in accepting and returning Lindsey’s hug. Charlie hoped they’d hit it off and be friends.

  Things got off to a rocky start. His fault. He should have introduced them before the funeral. He should have at the very least acknowledged her in the church. Instead, she’d had to save his son for him to even consider letting her off the hook for what she’d done.

  But it wasn’t the reason for the arrest that set him off. Watching his strong, determined, put-in-a-hundred-percent-or-don’t-bother-showing-up father fall apart over what she did was what tore at him. Charlie had no problem picking up the slack on the ranch and taking over riding Joey to do his part, but trying and failing at every turn to get Dad back on track only made him resent the hell out of Evangeline. And her damn silence. She refused to speak about what had happened.

  He admired that she admitted responsibility, but cursed the way she took her punishment and made Dad feel like he couldn’t protect her.

  With children of his own to look after, Charlie understood the need to keep his children safe and provide for them, but Dad had taken that to a whole other level. He’d acted like it was some kind of personal tragedy that he hadn’t kept Evangeline out of jail.

  “I’ll go get Henry up. Charlie can get you something to drink, then we’ll eat. I hope you like lasagna.”

  “One of my favorites.” Evangeline looked at him. “But I’m sure Charlie told you that.”

  Lindsey put her hand on Evangeline’s arm as she walked toward the hallway. “We want you to feel welcome.”

  Judging by Evangeline’s flinch at the simple, friendly touch, she wasn’t used to being welcome anywhere anymore. She tried to hide it, but Lindsey felt it and Charlie saw it.

  Evangeline focused on Will. “Do you like lasagna?”

  Will nodded and traced his finger along the long scar on Evangeline’s neck. She didn’t acknowledge it or make Will stop.

  “Beer? Soda? Wine?”

  Evangeline eyed him. “Is that last one some kind of joke?”

  He hadn’t meant anything by it, but understood her resistance to even an innocuous drink request.

  She hadn’t been welcomed home.

  If you can’t count o
n family, how can you count on anyone?

  She didn’t trust him anymore. She didn’t seem to trust anyone, based on the hesitant way she dealt with Lindsey. So how could he expect her to trust that what he wanted for the ranch was the right thing? “I simply want to get you whatever you want to drink. I’m putting the past in the past and focusing on the future.”

  “That’s why I’m here.” She didn’t make it sound like she’d come just because he wanted to talk about the contract. She seemed genuinely open to moving forward.

  Lindsey walked in with Henry.

  Evangeline didn’t hesitate to reach out and brush her hand over Henry’s hair. “Hello, sweet boy.”

  Henry smiled at her, then shyly hid his face in Lindsey’s neck before looking back at Evangeline, who immediately covered her face with one hand, then dropped it. “Boo.”

  Henry squealed, hid his face, then looked at her again.

  Evangeline did peekaboo again.

  Henry ate it up. His son was in love. And why not? Evangeline had always been sweet and fun. They’d gotten along as kids. They exchanged the usual teasing, but it never went too far, because he’d never wanted to hurt her feelings. But he had hurt her now by ignoring her and not understanding what she was going through the last four years.

  “Sis?”

  She peekabooed Henry one more time, then glanced at Charlie. “Yeah?”

  “I’m sorry.” He meant it.

  Evangeline set Will down next to Lindsey and walked right into Charlie’s chest and hugged him close. He held her and kissed her on the head.

  He’d missed her. All his anger and resentment slipped away as his mind filled with memories of how close they were growing up and how she’d always been the first to cheer for him, lend him a hand, or tease him out of a bad mood.