Finding Pride

by Jill Sanders

  He tortured her lightly with his fingers while his mouth grew stronger, sucking and tugging. His hand slid down slowly towards her heat, playing with her through the thin lace. He could feel her wetness, and, pressing lightly, he rubbed the soft material against her.

  His mouth paused and then began a journey down to replace his hand, his tongue taking the place of his fingers on the lace. He smelled her sweet arousal and almost lost control.

  Slowly, he let his finger slide underneath the elastic to enjoy the soft folds, while his tongue lapped at the lace. And just when he thought he couldn’t wait any longer, he pulled aside the lace and put his mouth to her, again using his tongue to heat her. She tasted of spring; he couldn’t get enough. She pushed her legs apart with his hands and tugged the lace aside, holding her wide open for his exploration. He nibbled lightly on the bud and pushed his tongue far into her core, moaning when a fresh wave of sweet heat hit his mouth.

  She moaned and gripped his hair in her hands, holding him down. In a swift move, he slid the lace down her silky legs, pushing them wider. He was tasting, probing, until she squirmed and tugged on his head.

  “Todd, now, please, now,” she moaned. He quickly discarded his jeans and then he pushed up and in one swift move embedded himself in her heat as she screamed his name, her nails digging into his shoulders.

  His lungs felt like they were on fire, his body screamed for release, but he held off, waiting for her. She had wrapped her legs around his hips and was trying to pull him closer while her back came off the bed. He gripped her hips, placing one hand on her lower back, her legs holding her to him. He reached down between them as her legs held her in place. The slightest touch was all it took. She exploded in one swift movement, and he joined her.

  ********

  Even if the house were on fire, he wouldn’t have been able to move a muscle. His weight pinned her to the mattress, and her hands fell limply by his sides. His breath heated her neck as he buried his face in her hair. This was where he wanted to stay all night, just like this. He started to move aside, but she grabbed him. “No, stay.”

  “I’ve got to be crushing you,” he murmured into her hair.

  “No, you’re very skinny.” Reaching around, she grabbed his butt. “And I like it just like this,” she said in a dreamy voice that was huskier than normal.

  His mind spun. The way he saw it, he had two choices. He could move in here and they could get married by Christmas, or he could take her with him tomorrow, and they could swing through Vegas on the way home. He liked the second idea better. He just needed to convince her. Rolling onto his back, he pulled up the blankets and pulled her closer, her head resting on his chest and her hair fanned out over his shoulder.

  She sighed and settled in as he kissed her head and closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Sometimes it was better not to overthink things.

  “Marry me,” he blurted out, keeping his eyes tightly shut.

  Chapter Thirteen

  He had expected her to be…Well, he didn’t know what he’d expected, but it sure wasn’t what he got.

  She tensed and then sat straight up, pulling the covers with her. He wanted to see her face, but she had turned away from him. Then she quickly jumped out of bed. Not saying a word, she pulled the sheets with her and went into the bathroom, shutting the door just as he sat up in bed.

  Walking over to the bathroom door, he could hear her putting on clothes. As he was about to knock, she yanked open the door.

  “Don’t,” she said, holding up her hands. She’d put on an oversized T-shirt, one of Matt’s. It hit her mid-thigh, leaving her legs bare. “Why can’t we just stay like this?”

  He stood there, naked. “Because I want it all with you,” he said, reaching for her.

  She pulled aside and walked to the French doors, opening them wide and letting in the cool night air. Todd moved over and stood behind her, then pulled her into his arms. She tensed, so he pulled her closer, dipping his mouth to her neck.

  “We’re good together, trust me. It doesn’t happen often that two people who were meant to be together find each other, Megan.”

  Turning her around so that she faced him, he said, “I recognized you the first time I laid eyes on you. You’re for me, Megan.” Dipping his head, he claimed her mouth. The kiss was powerful, and it seared her. She tried to move away, but he held her firmly against his naked body. “Please, let me hold you.”

  After a few seconds of silence, he walked them backward towards the bed, but she stopped him, placing her hands on his chest. “I can’t do this now, Todd. Can you understand? I need time. I-I don’t ever want to get married again, to belong to someone, like property. I won’t do that again, ever.” She pulled farther away, backing up several steps.

  When she just stared at him, he leaned down slowly and claimed her mouth again, this time in a featherlight kiss. “I’ll give you time to get used to it, but we belong together.”

  ********

  A few hours later, Megan lay beside Todd, their legs intertwined. The cat scampered in not long after they settled down and was now curled up on Todd’s chest. Todd, oblivious to the fact, snored lightly, with Boomer’s body rising and falling with each breath. If Megan hadn’t been so lost in her thoughts, she would have laughed at the picture they made.

  Marriage? Never! Or so she’d thought. Would marriage be different with Todd? What was she thinking? She’d known him for only about three months now. She’d known Derek for almost a full year prior to getting married. She knew people could hide things and usually did.

  Would Todd be like that? Controlling, domineering, abusive? Everything inside her heart and head said no. His family was proof enough of that, and if she wanted additional proof, all she had to do was turn her head and take a look at the black cat purring between Todd’s light snores. Derek had hated all animals. When they got married, he’d forced her to get rid of the small tabby she’d had since moving out on her own. The cat had always hissed at him when he came into a room.

  As she lay there, her legs intertwined with his, she remembered the scene the first day Derek had told her to get rid of the cat.

  “That cat obviously has issues. I mean, every time someone walks into a room, it goes crazy. Do you really want to have it go ape-shit every time we have people over? You know my job has expectations and I have responsibilities to the firm. Just get rid of it, or I will.”

  Back then, Megan would have done anything to please him. She had thought it was love, but she’d been so naive.

  Turning her head now, she glanced over at Todd’s silhouette. His mouth was slightly open, the cat comfortably snoring along. Todd had a great profile. Her gaze traveled from his straight forehead, down the bridge of his nose, which had a slight upward turn at the end that made her think of a small ski slope. She looked at his lips next. Remembering how they felt on her, she smiled and blushed slightly.

  He had a strong chin. She liked looking at him. He was a lot easier on the eyes than Derek had ever been. Todd was tall and thin. Derek had a stocky build, with thinning blond hair. He’d been in good shape when they met but had quickly gained thirty pounds after the wedding. Todd would still look thin with an extra thirty pounds.

  She reached over and scratched Boomer’s ears and curled up to the pair, falling asleep to the soft snoring of man and beast.

  Megan woke to a rich aroma drifting from the kitchen; she could get used to having someone cook for her. The cat snored comfortably on her stomach. She reached down and scratched his head, and he gave a quick yawn and stretched.

  “Well, Boomer, I guess we better go see what Todd’s cooking.”

  The cat let out a meow and jogged behind her into the kitchen. They ate French toast and eggs. Todd demanded that she go relax after breakfast, and he put away the dishes. She could definitely get used to this.

  Walking into the living room, she took the photo album to the couch and started looking through one of Matt’s old photo books. r />
  “Are those your parents?” Todd asked over her shoulder. Megan jumped. She hadn’t heard him approach from behind. “Sorry.” He reached over and started lightly rubbing her shoulders. Leaning in, he placed a kiss on her neck.

  “Yes,” she said, glancing down at the old photo. It had to be the only family picture she’d ever seen. “I didn’t know Matt had this. I’ve never seen it.”

  Todd walked around and sat next to her, looking down at the photo. “You look a lot like your mother. You and Matt have her eyes.”

  Megan smiled at this. “I can remember her singing to me at night.” She leaned her head on his shoulder. “She would sing Amazing Grace or”—Megan chuckled—“You Are My Sunshine. I always asked for the sun song. I can’t really remember my father. Is that bad?”

  “No, not from what Matt told me about him. Sounds like your mother was a wonderful woman, though. Matt never told me exactly how they died, only that they both went at the same time, and that’s when he gained custody of you. I think he was… what? Nineteen? One of the reasons we became so close was that we had both lost our parents and had family that needed us.”

  “Nineteen, a very young age for a boy to become father and mother rolled into one.” Megan took a deep breath. “My father killed her and then tried to strangle me. I guess he couldn’t do it, though. He shot himself before the neighbors found me, bruised, half-naked, walking through the streets. He was always very possessive and controlling. She was trying to leave him.”

  Todd didn’t say anything; he gripped her hand.

  Megan smiled to herself. “I loved her very much when I was little, and I wanted to grow up to be just like her. I guess I did, in more ways than I wanted.”

  “Don’t. You’ve had some bad luck with men, until now.” Todd turned her to face him and set the book down. “I’ll never hurt you. That’s my promise to you, Megan. I’ve never raised a hand to a woman, and I never will. I’m not saying we’ll always get along. I’m smarter than that. I know relationships take twists and turns, but I can promise you this—I’ll never hurt you.”

  Megan leaned her forehead against his. “I know. I trust you completely, and it scares me, but now…”

  Todd reached up and pulled her face to his. The kiss was light and soothed Megan’s tortured mind. An image of this scene years from now flashed in her mind. She could see them sitting before a fire, older, with kids running around the house. Letting out a sigh, she kissed him back with something that had been building up inside her.

  When their lips parted, he whispered, “Let me take you upstairs.” He pulled closer and started to pick her up.

  “Don’t you have a plane to catch?” she teased.

  “There’s always another one,” he said between kisses.

  “No, you need to get going. There will be time when you get home.” She pulled away, dodging his lips, and laughed at the face he made at her.

  ********

  Megan kept herself busy the next few days. Todd had left on his trip with a promise to call every day, and he did. She kept telling herself she didn’t miss him, but every time she turned around, she thought about him.

  She was sitting at her desk, running over some ad ideas, when the phone rang. When she hung up five minutes later, she was jumping around, laughing. She had her first customers! She had booked a family for three nights starting this weekend. Then, as it hit her—this weekend!—she promptly sat back down.

  There was so much left to do, and she hadn’t figured out yet how to work the billing software Iian had installed on her computer. She had the meals planned but hadn’t yet printed up a list to place in each of the cabins. There was the matter of stocking the refrigerators, and many more odds and ends that came to mind.

  She quickly made a list and then called Lacey to see if she could come over the next day to help. By the time she went to bed that night, her stomach was in knots. It seemed like so many things still needed to be done, and there were only two days to get them completed.

  She headed upstairs and decided it would be a perfect night to sit in the hot tub and try to relax. Boomer sat at the edge and looked like he wanted to join her. She really enjoyed his company.

  The day after she’d found him, she’d picked up cat food and a litter box and had purchased every type of cat toy the store had in stock. He even had a new scratching post in the corner of her room. He was a spoiled cat. In the few days he’d been there, she could see he’d already gained some weight. She had, of course, taken him to the vet the next day as well. Boomer was a boy. He was now up to date on shots and wore a collar and a shiny tag with his name and address on it.

  The vet said he thought Boomer was about two years old. He could stand to gain some weight, but now that he was in a loving home, she didn’t think that would be a problem.

  When Megan got out of the hot tub, Boomer jumped up on the bed, curled up on the pillow Todd had used, and quickly fell asleep. This had been their routine; she liked having a routine and having someone to share it with.

  The next morning, she woke up late. Her body ached, and when she stood up, she had to run to the restroom, where she immediately got sick. She had a slight temperature and took a couple of aspirin before heading downstairs.

  When Lacey arrived an hour later, she almost dropped the box of cinnamon rolls she was holding.

  “What’s wrong? Are you sick?” she said, walking Megan to the couch while feeling her forehead. “You’ve got a fever. Did you take anything?”

  “Yes, a couple of aspirin.” Megan let Lacey push her down on the couch and put her feet up.

  “Aspirin, good. I’ll go make you some soup. You rest now.” Lacey rushed out.

  Megan tried, but her head and stomach were spinning. By the time the smell of the soup filled the house, she was back in the bathroom. She started feeling a little better by noon but still spent the day on the couch.

  “The aspirin took care of most of the aches. I still feel run down, though,” she told Lacey.

  “There was a twenty-four-hour bug going around town. I had it last week, myself,” Lacey said.

  They worked until late that evening to finish everything on her list. Lacey really helped out. She printed the menus on card stock and placed them in silver frames Megan had purchased from Allison’s store. Everything was ready for her first customers.

  She had shipped her printed brochures to Ric and delivered some to each of the stores in town the week before. They had a beautiful color picture of the honeymoon cabin on the cover and had turned out exactly as she had hoped.

  “Todd asked me to marry him,” Megan said later on. They’d decided to celebrate the official opening of Pride Bed-and-Breakfast over the cinnamon rolls.

  “And?” Lacey asked. She sat on the end of the couch with a cup of hot chocolate in her hands.

  “You don’t seem surprised.” Megan looked over at her.

  “I’ve seen the way he looks at you. Todd isn’t one to mess around. When he wants something, he usually gets it.” She smiled at Megan.

  “I don’t know what to do. I didn’t give him an answer. I need some time to figure my life out. There’s so much that I want to…I don’t know.”

  “You need to find yourself first,” Lacey said plainly, giving Megan a look of understanding. “You know about Todd’s past?” When Megan nodded, she continued. “Todd wasn’t really in love with Sara. I mean, there was a time when he was. But I think it was more love out of obligation than anything. Sara had been raised by her father; her mother died when she was young. Her father was the town drunk, and he neglected Sara altogether. I remember seeing her in the store one day. She had gotten a job there when she was fourteen. After her mother died, her father refused to acknowledge her. It was almost as if Sara didn’t exist in his eyes. She had to fend for herself, buying food, clothing, and everything. I think she could have dealt with it better if he’d hit her, but to have someone you love just…ignore you.” Lacey shook her head. “When Tod
d and Sara graduated school, she moved into the apartment above the store, and Todd went away to school out east. After a year, though, he moved back, and they married.” Megan couldn’t imagine being ignored. There’d been times in her life when she’d wished she had been ignored.

  Boomer jumped up on the couch and lay down on Lacey’s lap. Lacey scratched his neck, smiling when he rolled over so she could do the same to his stomach. “I can see how he feels for you. It’s right there on his face whenever he talks about you or looks at you. I know you want to start your life over here. Take the time to think about all your options. The answers will come to you.”

  “I have these feelings for Todd. I’ve never felt like this before, for anyone. I can’t explain them or how they make me feel. All I know is they scare me. I wish I knew what to do.”

  By the time Lacey left for the evening, Megan was up and around with no side effects from the bug at all. Her mind refused to stop, and she stayed up late watching old movies and eating the leftover cinnamon rolls, a whole plate of them.

  The next two days, the same sickness came again. By the second evening, Megan called Dr. Stevens’s office. He had received her medical files already, and she set an appointment for the next morning.

  When she arrived, she was feeling just as bad as the previous days. She was late for the appointment since she couldn’t tear herself from the bathroom.

  Her hair was in tangles, her skin clammy, and she had bags under her eyes. One look at her and Dr. Stevens smiled.

  “Well, my dear, I’ve been in this business for over sixty years, and I can tell you now, it’s not the flu.”

  “It’s not?” Megan asked, sitting on the examination table, moaning with the slight motion, which felt like a rocking boat to her.