Finding Pride

by Jill Sanders

  “No, but let’s run some tests before I go shooting off my old mouth.” He grinned at her.

  He drew blood, made her pee in a cup, and gave her a complete physical. Then he left the room for a few minutes and returned with an even bigger smile.

  “Knew I wasn’t wrong. I can spot it from a mile away,” he mumbled, writing something in the folder.

  “What?” Megan asked.

  “Pregnancy.” He smiled.

  Megan’s jaw hit the floor. “What is? Who is? What?” Megan stuttered.

  “You, my dear, about seven and a half weeks, I would say, which would make it a February baby. I’ll need to know some more information to get an exact due date, but mid-February would be my first guess. Maybe even a Valentine’s baby.” He winked at her.

  Megan had yet to breathe or blink. She stared at the old man like he was insane. He kept right on talking in a cheery voice while he wrote in the file.

  “It’s been a while since I brought a new life into Pride.” He gazed off at the wall like he was trying to remember something important. “Not too many young couples settle down here. Oh boy! The joy of bringing a new life into this world!”

  When these words hit Megan’s brain, the realization finally hit her. “A baby!”

  Chapter Fourteen

  “A baby?” she asked again.

  Dr. Stevens turned in his chair and looked at her.

  “Are you saying that we, that I’m going to have a baby?” she asked again.

  They’d been so careful. Seven and a half weeks meant their first time. But they had used protection that first night. Then she remembered that next morning when she’d woken him up, and the blood drained from her face.

  An hour later, she was sitting at her kitchen table, looking at the pills Dr. Stevens had given her. Some were vitamins she would take every day, and others were to help with the morning sickness.

  Boomer was trying desperately to get her attention by pacing at her feet, meowing loudly. She’d forgotten to feed him this morning. Getting up, she went and grabbed his bowl. Just then, the phone rang. Setting the empty bowl back down, she answered it.

  “Hi, babe, do you miss me?” It was Todd. For the span of about ten seconds, Megan’s brain refused to think. Todd. She hadn’t once thought of what he would think. Should she tell him on the phone or wait until he came back in town? She guessed something this huge should be told face-to-face.

  Biting her lip, she answered, “Yes, when are you coming home?”

  “Tomorrow. Are you okay? Lacey said you had the flu.”

  “Not the flu, just…um, not feeling well. Will you be home for dinner tomorrow night?” she asked.

  “Yeah, sure. I should be there about seven. Are you sure you’re okay? You sound a little funny. Is that Boomer whining?” he asked.

  Megan glanced down at the cat pawing her pants and crying. “Yeah, oh, I, um, forgot to feed him today.” She moved over and filled his bowl with two huge scoops. Boomer gave her a look as if to say, “It’s about time,” and then went on happily eating. “I’ve been kind of busy.”

  “Lacey said you have your first customers coming tomorrow. Congratulations,” he said happily.

  “Oh yeah, I forgot. They’re supposed to check in by noon. A family. They’ll be spending three nights. I’ve also had other bookings too.” She got a little excited thinking about it.

  “That’s wonderful. If you need any help…” He sounded excited, too.

  “No, Lacey and Iian have been great with planning the meals. Hopefully, things will go smoothly.” She chewed her lip.

  “I think about you.” The statement was simple, yet it caused Megan’s heart to leap.

  “Me too. I shouldn’t miss you, but I do. I can’t stop myself from thinking about you. I don’t know what to do. I have a lot to think about after today… I have to ask myself what it is I want. I can tell you this—I know I’ve never felt this way before. It’s almost like I’ve known you for a long time, like we’re…” She hadn’t wanted to say connected.

  “Connected?” Todd said. “I feel it too. I know it’s crummy timing, but I love you, Megan. I think I’ve always loved you. God, I wish I could tell you when you’re in my arms so I could see your face.”

  Megan didn’t know what to say. How could she be falling so fast for someone? What power did he hold over her? Whatever it was, it scared her. A silent tear fell on her hand, and she reached up to brush another off her cheek.

  “You don’t have to say anything now, only know that’s how I feel. I would never do anything to hurt you.”

  “I know that. I trust you, but I have to trust myself,” she whispered.

  “Do your thinking tonight, Megan. I’ll be there at seven tomorrow night. Good night. I love you,” he said softly.

  “Good night, Todd,” she whispered back.

  That night, Megan got about an hour of sleep. Boomer wasn’t happy with her for the delay in the food, so he’d promptly gone to his pillow after dinner and didn’t stir when she came upstairs several hours later.

  The next morning, she felt the same: sick. She took her pills, and within the hour, it was manageable. She no longer felt a need to rush to the restroom. She still felt woozy, but not so bad. She could go along with her day.

  The guests arrived early. They were a lovely family with two small boys who ran around in the grass while their parents happily chatted on the front porch.

  Boomer let the two boys crawl all over him, then went and sat in the grass, flicking his tail and watching them play.

  By early afternoon, the family headed out to sightsee and Megan was left to start dinner.

  She decided to make a romantic dinner all by herself. She was going to tell Todd the news over dessert, and her nerves were high. She only knew how to make one meal: spaghetti.

  When the noodles and meat sauces were simmering, she put the garlic bread in the oven. She set the nice dishes in the formal dining room, then quickly ran up, showered, and put on the new clothes she’d bought. It was a simple green skirt with a matching blouse. She knew it would only fit for another few months, but she didn’t care since she looked good in it now.

  It felt good to go shopping and pick out her own clothes. She remembered a fight she’d had with Derek over buying things. It was after she’d purchased a new pair of shoes one day. Her shoe had broken while she had been walking the two blocks to her office from the bus stop. She had to ride the bus, since he’d taken her car away from her. There was a small boutique next to her office building.

  “Who the hell gave you the right to spend my hard-earned money on those ugly things?” Derek slammed his fist down on the kitchen table. The table was all set and looking just how he liked it with the silverware, plates, napkins, and glasses all in place. She’d purchased carryout at the Italian restaurant on her bus ride home. The table was decorated and the food had been placed nicely on the dishes.

  “I’m sorry; I broke my shoe walking to work. I couldn’t go in wearing only one shoe.” She prayed it would stop at that. She made sure to use the right tone of voice.

  His dish flew through the air, right past her head. It hit the dining room wall, shattering with a loud crash, which made her jump.

  “Damn it, Megan.” He stood up. She didn’t like it when he stood above her. “I work hard, and all I ask is for is a wife who obeys.” He bent down, putting his face close to hers. She could feel his breath and see the red in his eyes. She knew this time it wasn’t going to stop anytime soon.

  “You spend all my money on those shoes. The least you can do is get a pair that isn’t ugly as sin. I mean, look at them.” He jerked her chair out from the table, pulling her along with it to expose the simple black pumps. She tried to sit as still as possible. His beefy hands rested on the arms of her chair. She was blocked in, nowhere to go.

  “I’m sorry, Derek. I should have called you. I should have come home.” She tried to make herself smaller, tried to hold her breath. She would
have tried anything to prevent what was coming next.

  The slap had come quickly; the stinging had lasted longer. She knew the fight wasn’t over her shoes. She knew the slaps and hits weren’t her fault. It was hard to think of anything other than surviving when a two-hundred-pound man was sitting on your chest, hitting you.

  Clearing her head with a quick shake, she focused on the here and now. She thought about the future, her future and the baby’s future.

  She had at one point decided against children altogether, but that was when she was with Derek. She didn’t want to raise children in a life like that, so she’d hidden the birth control patch from him. But a child with Todd…She could tell he would be a great father. But what would this do to her newfound freedom? She didn’t believe in raising children in a single-parent home; she’d lived through that herself.

  A brother for a mother and father. Not that Matt had done a bad job. It was just, as far back as she could remember, she’d wanted a woman to talk to, a mother figure. Sure, there were women Matt had dated, but he would never involve them in their life to the point where Megan felt comfortable around them.

  When she was heading back down the stairs, the doorbell rang. Mentally calming herself, she pulled it open and was greeted by a bundle of white flowers. They covered Todd’s face as he held them. When he pulled them down so their eyes could connect, she noticed he too was dressed up. He wore black slacks and a blue shirt.

  He looked very handsome, and it made Megan happy to see that he also wanted to have a special evening.

  ********

  When Todd saw Megan, he instantly grew worried. Her face was paler than normal, and she had dark circles under her eyes. It looked like she’d dropped some weight.

  But then he noticed the green number she wore. It was short and tight, showing off her long legs and every curve. Had her breasts gotten bigger, or was it some magic, feminine secret making them look that way? Either way, he enjoyed the view. Her hair was down, flowing around her shoulders in a wave. He smiled up at her.

  “You’re beautiful.” He whispered it. He pulled her close and lightly kissed her lips, keeping it soft.

  “You smell so good. God, I’ve missed you,” he said, burying his face in her hair. She held on to him as if she didn’t want to let go.

  He could feel her body start to relax; she’d been very tense when he pulled her close. He ran his hand over her long hair and held her head to his shoulders. “What’s wrong, baby?”

  Then she started shaking, and whispered into his shoulder, “I’m pregnant. I wanted to tell you over dessert, but I just…”

  Todd pulled back quickly, grabbed her shoulders, and looked into her teary eyes. He’d anticipated seeing the scared look in her eyes but hadn’t expected to see a faint smile on her lips.

  Todd let out a loud, “Whoop!” and spun her in a circle, then promptly picked her up and deposited her on the couch. Then the worry seeped in.

  “Are you okay? I mean, we need to go see the doctor. I’ll have to call Dr. Stevens…” He trailed off as he paced the floor in front of the couch. “Do you need to go to the hospital? You were sick.” He started to pale. “Oh my God, you’ve been sick. We need to…”

  Megan interrupted. “I’ve already seen Dr. Stevens. He says I’m about seven and a half weeks, and the baby is healthy. He gave me some vitamins and pills to help with the morning sickness.”

  Todd knelt before her. “Are you all right? It’s not too bad?”

  “I’m fine, only a little tired all the time. The pills help with the sickness.” She placed her hand on his smooth face. “I don’t want to worry you. I know what happened to Sara.”

  Todd pulled her close. “God, Megan, what happened with Sara and the baby isn’t going to happen now. It was a freak deal. She’d been sick beforehand. I know this wasn’t planned, but I pray you’re not sorry.”

  “How can I be sorry? I know the timing is off, but no, I’m not sorry. I can’t help love what we’ve made.” She put a protective hand on her flat stomach. “It’s just, it kind of takes the decision out of my hands.”

  “I know you wanted to take some time to start a new life, but can’t we be that new life?” he said, placing a hand over hers on her stomach and smiling up at her. “I have something else for you besides the flowers.” He was still kneeling before her when he pulled a small gray box from his coat pocket.

  “Megan, I love you so much, I can’t imagine another day without you in my life. Please say you’ll marry me, start a new life with me and our baby.”

  The ring was simply beautiful, a diamond on a titanium band.

  “Todd, I can’t,” she whispered, holding up her hands. “I won’t marry someone out of necessity. I can’t lose myself again.”

  “Megan, I’m nothing like your ex.” Todd held the hurt and anger inside; he knew it wasn’t what she needed now.

  “Please.” She pushed the ring back towards him. “Give me more time. I need to be okay with this first.”

  Just then, the kitchen fire alarm went off, causing them both to jump.

  “Oh, my bread!” She raced into the kitchen. As he watched her back, he vowed that by the end of this year, he would change her mind. Maybe not tonight, but eventually. He knew it was the best for both of them, for all three of them.

  The bread was a loss, but the spaghetti was perfect. Todd ate three helpings while keeping the conversation light and away from any talk of marriage.

  Later, they sat on the front porch, giggling about Boomer, who was swatting fireflies. He’d gained so much weight, they were thinking of putting him on a diet.

  Megan leaned back, placing her head on his shoulder and letting out a sigh. Summer was in full swing, and she loved how the evenings cooled off. Fall was around the corner and next year, they would have a baby.

  ********

  Todd sat with Megan’s head resting on his shoulder. He felt her entire body relax and knew she was tired. He rubbed her shoulder, and when he felt she was asleep, he gently carried her upstairs to bed. Her removed her clothing and then his and crawled in beside her to sleep.

  The next morning, Megan rushed to the bathroom. She made sure to take the pill when her stomach would allow her to swallow some water. Half an hour later, she was feeling much better.

  Todd stood outside the locked bathroom door, not knowing what to do. He paced back and forth, begging Megan to let him in so he could help. He knew there really wasn’t anything he could do, except give comfort.

  ********

  Once she emerged, he enveloped her in a long hug, murmuring sweet words in her hair. “Is it okay if I move my things over here today? I don’t want to be apart from you, not for a moment,” he said as they headed downstairs.

  “That would be wonderful.” Megan gave him a quick kiss and smile.

  She knew either Lacey or Iian would be in the kitchen setting up breakfast for her guests. She couldn’t wait to pass the news on.

  She could hear the family who had rented the cabin eating in the formal dining room. The sounds of children drifted through the house, making it feel even more comfortable. When had she gotten used to people coming and going in her home? When had she started thinking of this as her home?

  “Good morning,” Megan said to the family. “How did you sleep?”

  “Oh, wonderful. It’s so quiet here. I think that’s the first time in my life that I’ve woken to the birds singing,” the woman, Stephanie, said, smiling at Todd over her coffee.

  “This is Todd Jordan,” Megan said. “Todd, this is Mr. and Mrs. Buckner, our guests, and their children, Brian and Bobby.”

  “How do you do? I hope you’re enjoying your stay.”

  “Are you related to Lacey? She made the most wonderful breakfast,” Mr. Buckner said, pointing to the pile of food on the table that their boys were inhaling.

  “Yes, she’s my sister. I’ll go find her. Good day.” He went back to the kitchen, leaving Megan to chat with the family. <
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  When she went into the kitchen, Lacey had a fresh cup of coffee ready for her. Todd leaned against the counter with a smile on his face, his legs crossed at the ankle. He looked so comfortable in her kitchen, she knew he’d always belonged here.

  Megan looked at the cup Lacey handed her. Setting it down on the counter, she said, “I better drink some juice instead this morning.”

  At Lacey’s confused look, Megan glanced towards Todd for some help. Todd walked over and pulled Megan to his side.

  “We’re pregnant.” He smiled at his sister.

  “Whoo-hoo!” Lacey rushed over and hugged both of them, tears coming to her eyes. “I knew something was up. You’re right, no coffee for the mother-to-be. I’m so happy. Wow! A baby!” she said, wiping the tears away.

  This was the first time Megan had seen Lacey at a loss for words or, for that matter, surprised. Lacey always seemed to know what would happen before it did.

  After breakfast, the family went on their way to go sightseeing. Lacey stayed and ate breakfast with them, then headed on her way to work.

  Megan and Todd spent some time sitting on the front porch, talking. The cabins were booked almost through the end of summer, and she was getting Internet reservations for the fall and as late as Christmas.

  “It appears you have yourself a successful business. I hope you haven’t taken on too many responsibilities with the baby coming.”

  Megan hadn’t thought of it that way. “I talked to a young woman at the store the other day, Nancy something. She said she’d been looking for work. Maybe I can hire her part-time,” Megan said, chewing her lip.

  “Nancy Webber. She is Iian’s age. She has a couple of kids, I think. She would be perfect.”

  “I’ll call her today and see about setting up a schedule.”

  With that settled, Todd headed into his office. Since he’d been out of town for the last week, he needed to catch up on some paperwork. Megan had things that needed to be done before lunchtime when her new guests were due to arrive.

  She busied herself with inside chores, cleaning the cabin and making sure everything in the other cabin was ready for the new guests.