Stars On Fire

by E. L. Todd

  “Yes. I enlisted for four years and became a fighter pilot. Then I graduated to test pilot.”

  That all sounded ridiculously impressive. It was already clear this guy was intelligent just from his demeanor. He was selective with his words and his reactions, and he carried himself like a man who understood his self-worth. “I know I probably sound dumb right now, but what’s the difference between a fighter pilot and a test pilot?”

  He grinned slightly, like the question amused him rather than annoyed him. “Most people don’t know. Fighter pilots are trained for combat. They’re deployed on secret missions for the government all over the world. A test pilot is someone with enough experience to help design and test new technology and aircraft. A long time ago, it used to be an extremely dangerous job. A different pilot died on a weekly basis. But now our technology has improved, and mortality rates have declined. Still pretty dangerous, though.”

  The straw was still in my mouth, but I’d stopped sucking the contents halfway through his explanation. I finally pulled it out of my mouth, the air deflating from my lungs because I was so floored by his intellect. “Wow…that’s really impressive. I doubt many people could do that.”

  He was too humble to brag about himself.

  “Which did you prefer?”

  “Fighter pilot,” he answered. “But test pilot was more important to me because it was much stronger on my application.”

  “Application for what?” Did someone so badass have to apply for anything at that point?

  “To be an astronaut.”

  So, this man excelled in the air force and became a top pilot, then managed to get into one of the most competitive schools in the country. Most of us couldn’t remember to buy everything on our grocery list, but he’d managed to accomplish a lifetime’s worth of work in his twenties. “Is that a requirement? To be a pilot?”

  “No. Some astronauts are purely academics. I chose the air force first because I thought it would be a great opportunity to learn important skills for free—and get my education paid for.”

  “That is smart…”

  “And those skills helped me in every single launch I’ve ever made. I never take them for granted.”

  Now I couldn’t stop thinking about his profession, picturing him in a white suit while walking on the moon. Not only did you have to have immense courage to explore the unknown, but you had to be fiercely intelligent to survive whatever challenges emerged. “Did you like being in the air force?”

  “Yes. It could be challenging and stressful at times, but if something isn’t pushing you, then why are you doing it?” He drank from his cup again while looking out the window. He leaned against the seat in a comfortable position, but his shoulders were straight and his muscled thighs stretched his jeans.

  I’d worked hard for my education, but I wasn’t motivated to do much more in life. I liked having a well-paying job that provided health care and allowed me to have a savings account. The rest of my time was spent enjoying life, like walking my dog or going to the beach. I’d never been particularly ambitious—not like this guy. “If someone told me I would be drinking a Slurpee with an astronaut someday, I would have laughed in their face.”

  He chuckled. “If someone told me I would be drinking a Slurpee at thirty-two, I would have done the same.”

  He was older than me, but he was so young for the accomplishments he’d achieved. I had so many more questions about his life and profession, but I kept my mouth shut because it seemed too intimate. He was probably asked the same questions a million times—and I didn’t want to be annoying like everyone else. “Your mom must be happy you’re home.”

  “Yeah, she is. We’ve been going out to lunch and the movies since I’ve been back. She gives me this look all the time…like she can hardly believe I’m there with her.”

  “She loves you.”

  “I know she does.” He stared into the darkness, his handsome face difficult to decipher. “And I love her too. But it’s hard to see her look at me like that…”

  “Like what?”

  “Like it might be the last time she ever sees me.”

  A mother never wanted to ship off her son to the military or anywhere else dangerous. Space was the most dangerous place he could possibly go. It probably stressed her out every single day. “I’m sure she’s proud of you, but she also worries. It’s what moms do.”

  He finished his Slurpee then set the plastic cup in the holder between us. “It’s getting late. I’ll drive you back to your car.”

  I hadn’t even realized it was ten in the evening. Time passed so quickly with him, and I didn’t feel the least bit tired. “Good idea. I don’t want you to see how blue my teeth are anyway.”

  “No, you’re definitely going to show me.” He hit the button on the ceiling to turn on the light. “Smile.” He gripped the steering wheel with one hand while he pivoted his body toward me. He leaned slightly, his t-shirt fitting his physique in the perfect way to show just how solid he was. He had a smooth stomach, nothing but abs and skin.

  I kept my mouth shut and shook my head.

  “Come on. I’m not driving anywhere until you show me.”

  I covered my mouth so he couldn’t see my teeth when I spoke. “You’re gonna make me walk?”

  “No. I’m gonna make you show me. Come on.” He grabbed my wrist, his warm fingers gripping my skin with a touch that was aggressive but gentle at the same time. The pads of his fingers were slightly callused, like he worked with rough materials a lot, but they were the perfect size to grab a woman, palms that were ideally suited to hold a pair of tits or a nice ass. His fingers remained around my wrist, and his thumb slightly rubbed against my exposed skin.

  The touch was so nice that I didn’t pull away. I could have easily twisted out of his grasp or pushed him away, but I let him touch me. I kept my eyes on him, the fight inside me dissolving. When I’d dropped him off, he’d probably gone to bed with that supermodel. He touched her everywhere and slammed his big package deep inside her. I hadn’t had good sex in a long time. It’d been so long now, I couldn’t even remember the last time I had it. It was definitely with Cameron, but I couldn’t remember the specifics. Now, when I was with Neil, sexy images popped into my head, the two of us naked on his bed, fucking like animals. He was probably hard up after a long mission…and that was sexy thought in itself.

  His eyes never moved from mine, and if he picked up on my subtle reactions to his touch, he didn’t show it. “Smile.”

  I didn’t care how ridiculous my teeth looked. I never cared what anyone’s opinion of me was. But this insanely successful and sexy man made me a little self-conscious. I kept my wrist in his grasp and finally smiled, showing my bright-blue teeth and stained lips.

  His eyes softened as a gentle smile stretched across his lips. His hold on my wrist loosened a little as the silence stretched between us. It was just the two of us in a dark car, the windows tinted so no one could witness the tense moment between us. “Beautiful.”

  “YOU WANT TO SPLIT THE NACHOS?” Kyle held the menu between us and leaned toward me so I could see all the toppings. “Beans, cheese, sour cream, jalapenos—”

  “I can read.” I laughed and took the menu from him. “And I think that’s a great idea. I ate so much garbage yesterday that I need to take it easy.”

  “By drinking two beers and splitting a plate of cheese and chips?” Kyle asked incredulously. Kyle and I had started off as allies at the lab because we had a lot of the same shifts. But that had slowly blossomed into a friendship that lasted for years. He was there for me when I got divorced...even gave me some meaningless rebound sex after Cameron and I split. But we were mature enough to move on and forget about it.

  “You ate pizza and beer yesterday,” Vic said. “Nothing unusual.”

  “How do you know what she ate yesterday?” Stacy sat across from me, with Vic beside her.

  Vic pulled off the lie effortlessly. “Because she eats pizza and beer almost e
very day.”

  “He’s right,” I said. “I do.”

  Stacy narrowed her eyes as she looked at my mouth. “Why are your teeth so blue?”

  Kyle didn’t ask because he’d probably figured it out the second he saw me. “Slurpee.”

  “Guilty,” I said. “Neil and I got a couple last night.”

  Stacy was about to reach for an appetizer in the middle of the table, but she stopped to give me a shocked expression. “You and Neil did what?”

  “We got Slurpees at the 7-Eleven. I’d driven him home a couple of times, and he wanted to do something nice for me.” It seemed like a good gesture because the gas I used didn’t cost me much and neither did the Slurpees. It was a fair trade.

  Vic didn’t say a word, but his slightly tense expression suggested he didn’t like what he’d just heard.

  Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. “What’s the big deal?”

  “I just didn’t think you and Neil were spending time together,” Stacy asked. “Like, was this a date?”

  “Oh no.” I waved my arms in front of my body. “Definitely not. No, it was nothing like that.” He was sexy as hell and could probably get me naked if he wanted to, but that wasn’t what last night was about. He had a woman at home already. He didn’t need me. “It was only friendly. Besides, he has a girlfriend.”

  “He doesn’t have a girlfriend,” Vic blurted. “He never has girlfriends.”

  “Well…I saw her.” She was in his driveway dressed like a hoochie mama…even though I had the same outfit.

  “Sorry, who’s Neil?” Kyle asked.

  “Vic’s brother,” Stacy explained. “He’s an astronaut who just came home a few weeks ago.”

  Vic still held a tight jaw, like this information was displeasing.

  I could read him like a book. “What’s the big deal? He’s a good guy. Even if there were something going on, you think I’m not good enough for your brilliant brother?”

  Stacy rolled her eyes. “That’s not it at all.”

  “Then what’s the problem?” I asked.

  “He’s just…” Vic shrugged. “He’s not the kind of guy you’re looking for.”

  Sexy, smart, successful, humble? Were those traits undesirable to other people? “I’m not looking for anything right now. I’m still in the process of rebuilding my life and figuring out what I want.”

  “Exactly,” Vic said. “And Neil has already figured out the kind of life he wants—to be alone.”

  5

  NEIL

  IT WAS my first lecture since returning to Earth. I had a class of five astronauts, and I detailed the concepts of orbital mechanics. It was one of the most difficult things to explain to a new recruit because it was completely unintuitive. To go down an orbit, you had to speed up. If you wanted to go to a higher orbit, you had to slow down. Docking with the Space Station was difficult because it defied most logic that happened here on Earth.

  When I packed up my satchel and turned to leave, Hyde Jackson walked in.

  “You still look like shit. How long’s it been?” He was wearing his NASA blue jacket, grinning like an arrogant son-of-a-bitch. “You’ve been on the ground for over two weeks, so you shouldn’t look like piss on snow.”

  It was impossible not to grin when I faced him. “Piss on snow? What kind of insult is that?”

  “Yeah…it’s not very good. I’ll come up with something better. You tend to look like shit often.”

  “You’ve been on Earth for three months, and you still look worse than me.”

  He laughed then clapped his arm around my shoulders, bringing me in for a hug.

  I hugged him back, dropping the rude banter and embracing him as a friend and a brother. I slapped him on the back and stepped away.

  “It’s about time we’ve been reunited. I hear they’re thinking of pairing us for the next launch.”

  “Doubt it.” I just got back. They wouldn’t be eager to send me up so soon. Another launch had initiated just days after I returned, another crew to continue the project at the moon. We were building an inhabitable space station directly on the surface. It was our intention to make it bigger than the International Space Station that orbited within the thermosphere of Earth. “We make the worst team because we won’t shut up.”

  “Which makes us the best team, if you ask me. Those three-day voyages to the moon aren’t so bad.”

  Hyde was my best friend in the world. We met in the air force and were both selected for the NASA program at the same time. Naturally, we just clicked…exactly the way Charlotte described with her relationship with my brother. We’d been inseparable ever since, launching into space three different times for various missions. If I got to pick someone to be in my crew, he would always be my number one choice. “Agreed.”

  We walked out together and headed down the hallway, our feet tapping against the vinyl floor as we passed the posters of previous missions and glass cases displaying helmets from the original Apollo missions in the sixties.

  This hallway was always difficult to walk because I passed by my own father’s legacy. Right on the wall were the details of the failed mission he never got to complete because something terrible happened during the launch—and he burned alive.

  Sometimes I had nightmares about it.

  Hyde stayed at my stride. “Want to go out tonight?”

  “Jane and the kids won’t mind?”

  “Psh.” He brushed off the comment. “I’ve been home for three months. Trust me, they’re sick of me.”

  MOST OF MY work with NASA was classified, so I didn’t share the details with friends or family. Perhaps that was why they didn’t understand why I was in space more often than other astronauts. My piloting skills, as well as my background in engineering, made me an important asset to the program.

  Perhaps if my family understood how important my work was, they wouldn’t be so disappointed in me.

  Laura had been in my bed for a few nights, so I cut that fling short. Ever since she’d set eyes on Charlotte, there was always a hint of an attitude with her. We weren’t committed to each other, just fucking around, but like all other women, she wanted to sink her claws into me and never let go.

  It was time to move on to something else.

  Someone else.

  I met my brother for a beer after work, heading to the sports bar and grill in the downtown district. Now, a part of me hoped Charlotte would always be with him, that the two of them would be hanging out watching the game or at the batting cages. She was always great company, a woman who was smart, real, and didn’t contain an ounce of bullshit. I could read people well and understood Laura was a possessive bitch. But I put up with it because she was hot and a good fuck. Charlotte was unique because she wasn’t motivated by money or power. She was a simple person…which was nice. She refrained from asking me too much about my profession, and that was so peculiar to me.

  A breath of fresh air.

  I was passionate about my work and couldn’t imagine doing anything else. Of course, I enjoyed talking about it. But it seemed like I got the same questions over and over again. People cared about the least interesting aspects of my job, not the things that really mattered.

  I walked inside and was disappointed to see him sitting alone.

  I fell into the chair and ordered a beer right away. “What’s up, Vic?” I could sense his foul mood right off the bat, the way his lips fell in a frown and his eyebrows were furrowed with annoyance. It was the same pissed look he’d been wearing since we were kids. I’d only been home a couple of weeks, so I had no idea how I’d managed to piss him off so soon.

  “Charlotte is off-limits, alright.”

  I didn’t even get a chance to drink my beer before Vic started swinging. “Sorry?”

  “She told me you two got Slurpees together.”

  “Yeah…which basically means we fucked.” I cocked my head to the side, my eyebrows raised. “You can’t be serious, right?”

  His cheeks were s
till red. “Just leave Charlotte alone, alright? You’ve got a pretty face and a famous name that can get you laid anytime you want. Just leave this one alone.”

  I’d never seriously considered going after her because she wasn’t my type. My physical relationships with women were always the same. We met at a bar somewhere, we flirted back and forth, and then we screwed. There were no dinners or public events. There was no friendship. I guess getting Slurpees with Charlotte was the closest thing I’d ever had to a date. “Vic, that was never my intention with her. I think she’s cute because I’d have to be blind to think otherwise, but that’s it. She gave me a few rides home and I enjoy her company, so I invited her to get a Slurpee. You can be friends with her, but I can’t? She’s practically part of the family.”

  Vic calmed down after my logical counterargument. “I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to go full dick on you.”

  “Yeah…it was pretty dick-ish.”

  “I didn’t realize you only saw her as a friend. I guess I just assumed… It was stupid to assume.”

  Not that stupid. “Well…would it be the end of the world if I asked her out?”

  Now steam was coming out of his ears. “So all that stuff you just said was bullshit?”

  “No,” I said calmly. “I barely know her, but I think she’s pretty cool. Maybe I will want to ask her out eventually. Why does that have to be off the table? She seems like a smart girl who can look after herself. She doesn’t need you to pull this big-brother stunt.”

  “No, she doesn’t,” he said. “But I want to…”

  I could tell my brother really cared about her, so he wanted to protect her. Of course, I respected it. “Honestly, the thought hadn’t even crossed my mind until you mentioned it. I was just being friendly, and I like her. But the more I’m around her, the more I want to see her. Didn’t realize that made me a bad guy.”