Becoming His

by Mariah Dietz

  Eventually I pull away and sit up, knowing that it’s already way later than I expected to keep him up. “Come on, birthday boy,” I say, standing up, “you have to go to bed or you won’t enjoy the rest of your day.”

  “It doesn’t matter what else happens today, not after this.” I smile and tug on his reluctant arm that I know could easily haul me back down but doesn’t. He stands up and accepts the small dish of crème brûlée that we didn’t get around to eating and walks me to my door where he kisses me once more before softly skimming the right side of my face with his thumb.

  “I love you, Ace.”

  “I love you, Max.” His eyes focus on mine for a second before I reach up to kiss him once more on his slightly swollen lips.

  “I’m done with these home visits. I hate not having you in my bed.”

  “Tomorrow!” I answer resolutely. “Now go have some sweet dreams of me!”

  “Always,” he replies with a growl before kissing me once more and swatting my backside as I disappear inside.

  As planned, I don’t see much of Max the next day so I can ensure that everything’s ready for the party. Sharon offers to run interference first and takes him out for breakfast. After that, it’s up to Jameson and Wes to keep him busy until seven when we’ll be meeting to have dinner while forty something people gather in his house.

  I head back to San Diego early with Kendall, who helps me hang streamers and balloons, along with multiple happy birthday banners, and confetti. We set up the tables that we’d rented, stocking them with alcohol, cups, napkins, and plates. I’d ordered party platters filled with sandwiches that Jesse and Abby will pick up, along with the sheet cakes.

  I’m a bundle of nerves as we sit at the restaurant waiting for the boys. I’m realigning my silverware when Kendall grabs my hand within hers. “He’s going to love it. Everything is going to be fine. Just take a deep breath.”

  My eyes dart to her piercing blue ones heavily shadowed with charcoal gray and force a nod as I take an audible breath that doesn’t seem to fulfill my need for air. Breathe is starting to become my life mantra since I met Max.

  When the guys arrive, they’re all looking comfortable and relaxed, laughing over something as they follow the hostess to our table. Kendall squeezes my hand in a silent assurance as we stand up to greet them. Max wears a fitted long sleeve white shirt with thin gray stripes and a pair of jeans with some black dress shoes. It’s understated and casual, but he makes it look sexy and classy with his confident grin and posture.

  His eyes light up as our gazes meet. I watch his eyes drink me in, trailing over the dark gray satin dress that goes over a single one of my shoulders and dips down on the other, ending tightly at my mid-thigh.

  “Hey, beautiful.” Max cups the back of my exposed neck and leans forward kissing me.

  Max’s phone rings as we crowd around the table.

  “Hank,” he says quietly.

  His face looks uncertain. I place my hand on his forearm and smile, nodding my head to the front of the restaurant. He grins at me before lifting the phone to his ear and heading back to the front. I offer him a giant smile before we continue outside.

  “Alright, birthday boy, would you like to ride in their chariot or mine?” I ask, gesturing between Wes’s SUV and my car as we make it out to the parking lot after finishing dinner.

  “I’ll ride with you,” he answers wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “I’ll see you guys at the house.”

  “Why don’t we go get ice cream?” Max suggests.

  “Because that’s my favorite dessert, not yours and this is your day,” I reply, getting in the driver’s seat. “Plus I have a dozen more crème brûlées waiting for you at home.”

  “The next one I eat is going to be poured over you,” Max says as he leans toward me. His hand runs up my thigh as his mouth goes to the spot beneath my ear that he knows drives me crazy.

  I drive a little slower allowing Kendall and the guys a chance to ensure that everything’s in place. Max is plenty distracted with trying to distract me that if he notices, he doesn’t complain, or thinks it’s his own doing.

  When we pull up to his house I’m thoroughly impressed that no one’s parked in front of the house or anywhere close by to make it obvious that a houseful of people are awaiting him. Only his Jeep and Wes’s SUV are in the driveway. My heart beats almost violently in my chest as the cool night air washes over me. Max meets me at the front of my car and takes my hand in his as we make our way the few steps to the front door.

  “I say we make this a Bourne night,” he says, tucking me under his arm, “We’ll bring some crème brûlée upstairs and end this day like it began.”

  “That sounds perfect,” I say, trying to contain my laugh from the fear bubbling inside of me. Oh please, oh please, oh please enjoy this, I pray as Max reaches for the door.

  I take a deep breath as he pushes the door open and step into the dimly-lit house behind him. I instantly know that Kendall must have really put some threat behind this, because it is eerily silent.

  The lights flip on and dozens of people jump out yelling “surprise” and cheering. I turn to watch Max and see his face light up with recognition as the crowd begins to close in around us.

  “How in the hell did you pull this off?” Max asks, turning to catch my relieved smile as a guy that I’ve never seen encases him in a giant hug and hands him a drink greeting him before a few more people wrap him in hugs and deliver birthday wishes.

  Max turns and searches through the crowds until he finds where I’ve retreated beside Abby, Jesse, and Wes. Before anyone else is able to approach him, he makes his way to me and captures my lips with his in an intense, masterful kiss that leaves me slightly breathless before wrapping me into his chest.

  “How did you do this?” he asks, pulling me back as his eyes dance over my face, a look of awe upon his face.

  “I had a lot of help,” I reply, glancing over to our friends. “Some inside help.” I wink at Wes as he takes a step closer to us and hugs Max.

  Abby hugs him next as Wes drapes an arm around my shoulder. “You did good.” His voice is warm as he squeezes my shoulder and pulls me closer to him.

  “I couldn’t have done this without you. Thank you!” I wrap an arm around Wes’s lower back as Max is engulfed by the crowd once more.

  “Come on, I want you to meet everyone!” Max says, reaching over and taking my hand. He tugs me forward and I look back to see Wes talking to Abby as Jesse makes his way to the kitchen. I wave with my hands to indicate I’ll be back.

  The party is in full steam. Everything seems to be running smoothly, and everyone seems to be enjoying themselves. I make my way over to Kendall and Abby, accepting a drink from Jameson, as I look out to find Max talking to a group of guys that look vaguely familiar.

  “Thank you guys so, so much! This would not have happened without you all,” I say, trying to profess my gratitude as I hug each of them.

  “Excuse me. Do you guys know where the birthday boy is?” I turn to face a bleach blonde, wearing the dress from Roger Rabbit. My eyes quickly travel over her, noting the cheap pair of plastic looking pumps that sort of throw me because neither her dress nor her chest appear cheap.

  I take a deep breath and try to refrain from thinking more judgmental thoughts as my eyes go back into the crowd in the direction of where Max had been moments ago and find that he and the group he’d been with have moved on.

  “Sorry, I’m not sure where he went,” I say, returning my eyes to meet hers.

  “If you see him tell him Lacey is looking for him.” Her voice is breathy, and her breath is saturated in sweetness.

  My attention focuses on her too long eyelashes, which brush nearly halfway down her cheeks. Her makeup is heavy, but done in a way that it doesn’t make her appear trashy, but rather modern, expressing flair and expertise.

  Although she’s heavily made over, it’s undeniable that she’s gorgeous, and I briefly wonder if one of the
guys here hired her as a stripper as my eyes glance back to her large chest that looks almost obscene squished into the top of her dress.

  “Sure, Lacey …” I reach for her last name, hoping it will be something like cupcake, candy cane, or some other stripperesque name.

  “Trust me, he’ll know,” she says, looking down at my dress and frowning before walking away.

  “Seriously, I think my head is smaller than one of her boobs,” Abby says, staring after Lacey.

  I turn back to see Kendall shove Jameson as he watches her walk away. I try to push her words away like her shove, not wanting to focus on if he’ll know who she is as I tell them I’m going to go look for Max.

  “Wait, you left this here this morning, and I didn’t want someone to take it or use it,” Abby says, fishing in her bra and producing my cell phone. I smile appreciatively at her as I take it and kiss her cheek.

  “Thanks, Abs.”

  I wander through the crowd of people that seem to be multiplying and find Jesse hanging out with a couple of guys that I know. I briefly stand around with them to catch up when it dawns on me: I heard the name Lacey a few months ago when Wes had come over and we played drinking games. He’d been speaking to Max as I lay on the couch, ready to fall asleep. I’d only caught small bits, but I specifically recall hearing her name. Relief floods me as I assure myself she must be here for Wes.

  I quickly excuse myself with the intent of seeking out Wes to confirm my suspicions and make my way to the kitchen where people mill around, drinking.

  A large guy that has a crazy red beard is in the midst of a story that grows in volume as I approach. His arms fly out as he gets to a climactic moment, swiping a full cup of beer across the counter.

  I quickly grab a roll of paper towels from under the sink and mop it up as a few people offer to help. I decline with a smile as I quickly clean it up and move to collecting some abandoned cups to toss in the garbage as well. As I return the paper towels, a flash of red out the kitchen window catches my eye and I straighten to see what’s going on.

  My body stops as my eyes focus on the backyard. Lacey is walking across the yard. I’d intentionally left the lights off out there so people didn’t go outside and wake up any of the neighbors, but the lights from the street lamps and the neighbor’s back lights provide enough of a glow that I can clearly make out Max standing to the side of the house nearest the fence with his hands clasped, resting on the top of his head as he watches her approach him.

  She places a hand on his chest and the party fades out. A stabbing sensation occurs in my own chest in the same spot her hand touches his. Max doesn’t move, but I can see him say something to her that makes her smile, intensifying my pain.

  My heart races as the rational part of my brain demands for me to do something—open the window and say something, call him, look away, do anything but stand here like a statue and watch whatever this is—but my body feels as though it’s encased with lead as I watch her press herself against his larger frame and kiss him while Max stands there, not pushing her away or stopping her.

  The self-preservation in me thankfully awakens, and my body spins around and falls against the sink. I feel immobile as my chest begins to throb with a foreign sensation I’ve never experienced. A loud clattering sound breaks me from my trance, and I look down to see my cell phone spinning on the floor a few feet from where I lean clutching my chest. I take a deep breath, feeling the hot pooling of tears in my eyes as I bend down to retrieve it.

  I fight to keep my composure as pain inflicts my every thought. I need to get out. Get out of this house, out of these clothes, just out.

  “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” I look up to see Kendall striding toward me with concern carved across her face.

  I shake my head and her eyes grow as she gets closer and wraps an arm around me. “Ace, you’re freaking me out. What happened?”

  “I just saw Max kissing someone,” I whisper. “I need to get out of here.” I look into her eyes to convey the need that I feel, and she instantly nods and peers around the room with a look of anxiousness.

  “Who was it?” I shake my head.

  “Does it matter?”

  “I’ll go with you.”

  “I need to find my keys and my purse,” I explain, feeling myself unraveling.

  “Hey, Ace, do you want to do cake soon? I think we should probably do it before people drink much more. Otherwise, I fear what people will do with it.” I turn to see Wes and feel a couple of traitor tears slide down cheek.

  I brush them away with the back of my hand and try to make it look like I’m simply smoothing my hair as I clear my throat, trying to keep it together. “That’s probably a good idea. They’re all in the fridge. You want to get it all set up?”

  “What’s wrong?” Wes asks, not accepting my act. “Did someone say or do something to you?”

  I shake my head, feeling the tears growing in my eyes with the sympathy he’s giving me. “I just need to go.” I drop my gaze.

  “I’ll find your purse,” Kendall says. “Go outside. I’ll be there in just a second, okay?”

  I nod and keep my head lowered as I make a beeline for the front door. My mind replays the sight of Max and Lacey again and again as I travel the short distance to my car. Self-preservation loses to the analytical part of my brain that continuously bitch slaps me with the images.

  “Ace, what’s going on?” I hear Wes following me and pray he’ll stop as I break through a final group and make my way outside. I don’t bother confirming if he’s following because I’ve lost my composure. Hell, I’m barely standing.

  I place my hands on the hood of my car and let my head hang as I hear the clear indication of Wes following me.

  “You’re scaring me, Ace,” he says softly as he gently wraps an arm around my shoulders and somehow maneuvers me so I’m facing him. I don’t fight him until he tries pulling me closer to him. Keeping my tear-clouded gaze focused on the driveway, I take a step back. “Come on, I’ll take you home. When you’re ready to talk—”

  I shake my head before he can finish. “You should stay.” My voice is thick with tears, and I sniff as my nose begins to run, wiping at the tears that have my face hot and sticky.

  “Ace, I’m not leaving you here like this.”

  “I’m fine.” The words come out loud and aggressive as I finally look up to see him. I know that the anger I’m feeling isn’t being appropriately directed, but I can’t seem to stop. Wes doesn’t flinch at my outburst. Instead, he takes a step closer and watches the tears coat my cheeks, looking like my pain is causing him to hurt as well.

  “What’s going on, Ace? You can tell me. Do you need me to get Max?” He takes another step closer, and I lift my hand for him to stop.

  “Max and I …” I start, but my throat swells with tears, preventing me from finishing my sentence. I squeeze my eyes closed and shake my head.

  “You’re kidding!” he whispers, mirroring my anger.

  I shake my head once, gulping a breath of air, and then turn my face to the sky. The new angle allows a new course for my tears to slide along my temples. “I saw him kissing some girl.” I wipe at the tears again in a futile effort. “I just need to get out of here.”

  “Ace, he’s the biggest dumbass in the world,” he says adamantly, taking another step closer to me.

  The mental image of her floods my mind, and I shake my head as more tears cloud my vision. “No, she’s beautiful,” I admit in a whisper.

  Wes takes another step and envelops me in his arms. I know that the act is to console me, however, having one of my cheating boyfriend’s best friends be the one that comforts me at this moment just doesn’t seem appealing. I shove against his chest, forcing him to release his hold.

  “Ace—”

  Thankfully party sounds cut through the air and Kendall slides out the front door. She quickly closes it behind her and makes her way toward my car. She looks between us with concern before taking my arm and walking me
over to Jameson’s car.

  “I couldn’t find your purse. I’ll come back and get it tomorrow,” she explains, unlocking the passenger door for me.

  I quickly climb in as Kendall slams the driver’s side door. She reaches over and grasps my hand in hers as we reverse out of the driveway. I clutch it tightly and sob the entire way to our apartment complex, where she helps me to her door.

  Inside she hands me a set of pajamas, a clean towel, and a lingering hug before she reluctantly leaves me to shower. I quickly strip out of my clothes and stand under the hot water, hating how familiar this all feels.

  Once my skin is red from the heat and the bathroom is filled with a hazy fog of condensation, I dress in Kendall’s pajamas and make my way to her room. She’s sitting on her bed, already showered and in a pair of pajamas, waiting for me. I want to apologize for taking so long and leaving her to use Shelby’s bathroom, but she stands up and wraps me in a hug, and my words instantly turn into tears as I come apart.

  A couple of hours later a loud banging on the front door stirs us both from sleep. My eyes feel scratchy and dry from all of the tears, and my head has a sharp, stabbing sensation, accompanied by a dull, thudding pain that makes me wince as I move.

  “I don’t want to talk to him tonight.” My voice is laced with desperation. Fresh tears somehow materialize, blurring Kendall as she flips off the bedroom lights and closes the door behind her.

  “Where is she?” Even with the space between us, Max’s voice is loud and urgent.

  “Max, you need to go home. There’s nothing to discuss tonight.” The politician side of Kendall takes control as I hear her calm and commanding voice.

  “Where is she, Kendall?”

  “She’s here, with me, but she doesn’t wasn’t to see you right now, Max.”

  “I need to talk to her.”

  “You should both sleep on this, go into it clearheaded.”

  “Kendall, I need to talk to her!”