Bad Behavior

by Kiki Swinson

  “Go fuck yourself,” Honore said good-naturedly as she stood up to leave with half the cash secured in her purse. She paused with her hand on her hip knowing she looked like a sweet caramel Popsicle dream. “I ain’t never sucking your lil bent-up dick again in life, baby, so don’t hit my damn jack until it’s time for me to do what I do. You want ya knob slobbed, you better call that flat-booty wife of yours and make a wish muthafucka. Make a wish!”

  CHAPTER 9

  Cucci was about to complete her first solo caper of selling crushed ice on the black market and she was hyped as hell. A couple of weeks earlier the big boss Joel Samuelson had picked her up in a limo and taken her to a sleazy-looking jewelry store down on Fulton Street in Brooklyn. There, Cucci had dropped off a mid-priced diamond that she had signed out of the vault at the New York Diamond and Jewelry Exchange based on a fake requisition request to showcase it at an area diamond conference. She had been shitting bricks when she handed the diamond over to Joel, but he had told her not to worry because both she and the diamond were in very capable and experienced hands.

  “This is a very clandestine and methodical diamond ring I belong to, Rayven,” he told Cucci. “I’ve been doing this for many years now, and there’s practically no chance of being caught. Unless you’re stupid enough to trust the wrong person, that is.”

  Cucci was bright-eyed and eager as they got shit moving. The elderly owner of the Fulton Street jewelry store had just called to tell Joel that the stolen diamond had been successfully sold on the underground black market, and that an exact cloned replica of the original diamond was ready to be picked up so it could replace the stolen diamond and be returned to the company’s vault.

  Cucci was so amped up on dollar signs that her mouth was watering as she and Joel stepped outta his shiny new whip and headed toward the side door of the jewelry store looking to make their score.

  “Listen and learn,” Joel instructed Cucci. They hurried down an alley adjacent to the bustling streets of the ballistic town of Brooklyn, and now as they waited for the ancient security guard to unlock the door and let them in, Joel warned her to keep her mouth closed and let him do all the talking.

  “Remember, I’m the teacher and I want you to be a very good student, because one of these days you’re going to play a much bigger part and have a much larger role in this operation. And of course that means you’ll be making a lot more money too.”

  Cucci was so excited she damn near peed down her leg like a puppy. She didn’t care if she had to buy Joel a juicy red apple and be the teacher’s favorite pet as they entered the musty old jewelry store. All she knew is that she wanted that damn money!

  They were led in the back by a real ugly white girl who looked like she mighta been the owner’s daughter. The hit chick took one look at Cucci sporting her silky hair, artfully applied makeup, and a perfectly round ass that twitched back and forth under her skirt, and she turned up her lips in a jealous smirk.

  Cucci gave not a damn about that gray bitch as she followed Joel into a back room where the owner was waiting for them.

  “Hello my friend,” said a tall white man who was standing next to the old jeweler. He was a handsome, well-dressed cat who looked to be in his late thirties or early forties, and he had one of those sexy French accents. He reached out and shook Joel’s hand and the two men greeted each other warmly.

  Immediately, Cucci remembered exactly who the hell dude was. He was the damn key to this whole operation because he was the one who smuggled the diamonds outta the country, crushed them up into smaller pieces that looked like crystal ice, and then sold them on the underground market in Belgium and other places in Europe. Cucci’s nose was twitching and she was licking her chops like a bloodhound. She could practically smell all the cash that was stuffed in his pockets.

  “Avi,” Joel reintroduced them, “you remember Rayven, the young protégée that I told you about. Rayven was actually responsible for acquiring this particular jewel for us, and she’s here to be rewarded for her hard work and exceptional efforts.”

  Cucci grinned as that French nigga took her hand and pressed his warm pink lips to the back of it.

  “Pleased to meet you again, Rayven. You provided us with a marvelous jewel, and I think you’ll be quite pleased with the proceeds.”

  With the small talk out of the way, the three men began having a back-and-forth conversation about some past work they’d done together, but Cucci wasn’t hardly paying none of that shit no attention. She was too busy thinking about that moolah and wondering if she should hit Neiman Marcus first, or one of those quaint little shops on Fifth Avenue that always had the priciest shoes and the baddest gear.

  Finally, Avi pulled an envelope out of his jacket pocket and passed it to Joel. Cucci’s eyes locked on that thick shit as Joel opened it and reached inside. He tore off a stack of bills and handed them back to Avi, then he tore off a smaller but still nice-sized stack and passed it to the old-man jeweler, and then finally he slid off a smaller slice and passed it to Cucci.

  “Here’s ten grand,” he told Cucci with a proud smile. “Not bad for five minutes’ worth of work, eh? Welcome to the team, Rayven. I have a feeling we’re going to do some very good business together my dear.”

  Cucci floated outta that jewelry store on a money-green cloud, and she was still riding that shit hours later when she arrived back home weighed down with designer bags and boxes from the hottest stores in town.

  She had shopped until the stores closed down, and she was like a junkie riding the waves of a high, already anticipating how she was gonna get the next one. But as eager and excited as she was, her cousin Honore had her beat.

  “Ooooh, Cucci Momma!” Honore had growled when she saw the colorful boxes and bags representing some of her favorite shops. Cucci fell in the door carrying all her goodies and collapsed in the middle of the living room floor.

  Sitting on her ass, she began digging in bags and pulling out designer shit and flinging it toward Honore as they both shrieked in happiness.

  “Givenchy?” Honore screamed in disbelief as she held up a butter-yellow laced dress that she knew was gonna fit her ass like a second skin. “Bitch where you get this from? How you get the money? Who the fuck took you shopping???”

  “I took my damn self shopping,” Cucci said proudly as she continued reaching in the bag and pulling out sexy and expensive gear. “I worked my ass off for this money!”

  “Damn!” Honore hissed as her greedy hands snatched at all the finery. Money made her world go around, and there was no way in fuck she was telling Cucci about the twenty-five hunnerd she was sitting on from Slimy Sal!

  “That’s the kind of work I wanna do!” Honore said eagerly. “Y’all got anymore jobs lined up at that jewelry joint? How the hell can you get some more work like this?”

  “Oh, there’s more work to be done,” Cucci said mysteriously as she separated all the clothes out and split them into two equal piles, one for her and one for her cousin. “And don’t worry, I didn’t spend it all up, neither. I saved some money to pay the rent and to put some groceries in the fridge, and guess what else I saved some for?”

  “What?” Honore said breathlessly with her eyes all lit up.

  Cucci’s eyes sparkled and a devilish grin spread across her face as she pulled out her purse and divided the remainder of her cash up and then handed Honore half. “Me and you ’bout to turn up a bottle of Krug, bitch! We toasting up and hitting the club tonight, boo!”

  CHAPTER 10

  Despite Cucci’s good fortune and generous nature, Honore had a shitty look on her face a week later as she made the long-ass bus ride back to Rikers to visit her infamous godfather, Sly McFly. The last time she had crossed the bridge and traveled to the Rock to see him was because she was broke as all outdoors and she needed some cash. This time she had some yardage in her pockets and she was going to see Sly because she had a lick to hit and she needed his guidance and opinion before she stepped off into it.


  Honore knew this was something she could never talk about over the phone. It was the kind of street shit that the authorities listened for on all inmate calls. She even had to watch her mouth when she and Sly were sitting face-to-face because everybody knew the walls in jail had ears.

  “Hello, beautiful. I see you back up at this hell hole again, huh?” Sly grinned as he was led in by a guard, swinging his arms freely, and took a seat on a stool on the opposite side of the glass. Sly was cooler than the other side of the pillow, and as usual he was his normal upbeat self. With his wavy hair pulled back in a ponytail, his mustache and goatee neatly trimmed, and his prison jumpsuit pressed and starched with the edges sharp enough to cut a vein, he sat there looking like he ain’t have a care in the damn world.

  “Yeah,” Honore said softly. She loved the shit outta this old man. Sly had been like a father to her for her whole life. He had looked out for her and taught her every damn thing she knew. “I just wanted to come see how you was doing, and plus I need to run something serious past you.”

  “Hey, I ain’t complaining,” Sly said, leaning back as he relaxed. “What’s going down? Watch how you say shit outta ya mouth, though. The usual officers that I got a grip on ain’t here today.”

  “Well, you know I hate seeing you locked up in here,” Honore said as she shifted positions in the filthy chair. The dirt and grime all around her disgusted her and that shit was making her itch. “But I got a situation that can be real profitable if handled the right way. Of course, there’s a few strings attached to the whole shit and I gotta be in major focus mode, but I think the reward really makes it worth my time. Bottom line, a power move is about to go down. Two big hittas in the diamond industry are having a long-dick pissing contest. One hitta wants me to knock the other one off his square.”

  Sly frowned and nodded. “A’ight. I see where you going with this.” He rubbed his goatee as he thought about it. “So tell me this, baby girl. Which one of them muthafuckas are you in the bed with? The bigger fish or the smaller one? Who can you gain the most leverage from? Is this a dirt nap game or just a scandal?”

  “I’m in the sheets grinding all over the smaller guy,” Honore said, understanding the code and not speaking names. “We ain’t taking no naps though. It’s more of an insider scandal. The dude I’m boning wants me to plant a certain item on the big guy and line his ass up with the alphabet boys.”

  “Hmmm . . . I’m guessing it’s one of those shiny rocks,” Sly mused. “Am I right?”

  “Exactly,” Honore responded enthusiastically. “There’s a few grand in it for me and Cucci, but dude’s got my hands tied because he caught me slipping with some shit I did to help Cucci out. I basically don’t have a fucking choice. I need the money and I need him to keep his mouth shut or probation will violate me, and the next thing you know I’ll be right across the way from here, chilling in a bunk in Rosie.”

  “You always have a choice baby girl,” Sly said as he narrowed his eyes at her. “If that nigga has you by the balls then it’s time to turn the tables. I’m sure the big boss wouldn’t like the fact that his underling is attempting to get him jammed up. So what you gotta do is stall the little guy for a while until you get it all figured out, nah’m sayin’? Make up some shit about why you can’t make ya moves for a couple of weeks. Then in the meantime, switch shit up and bring the plot to the bigger guy. Make him an offer he can’t refuse. I guarantee he will be very appreciative of the information you provide and he’ll compensate you properly. Bottom line, you gotta ass-fuck the little guy. That’s what every successful businessman does.”

  “Damn Sly, you right!” Honore said as her eyes lit up. “Why the hell didn’t I think of that? It’s a risky move but it’s well worth it. The little guy can’t fucking stand the big boss and I’m pretty sure the feeling is mutual. So how do you think we should approach the head nigga in charge?”

  “Whatever you do, don’t go in on no soft shit,” Sly responded with a warning in his eyes. “Make it clear that he don’t have a fuckin’ choice. Either he rocks with you and your demands, or he can be a victim and suffer the consequences. Remember, you ain’t going in there asking him for no favors. Men of power respect power, whether it’s in the pussy or in the pocket. So be cold and collected. Let that muthafucka know that he either gets down or he lays down. Plain and fucking simple. So get with Cucci and make sure y’all put ya heads together and come correct. You dig me?”

  “Yes. Damn right,” Honore said as she spoke into the jail phone. “Sly, I can’t thank you enough. You always know the right shit to say. You’re always on point old man, I’ll give you that.”

  “They don’t call me Sly for nothing, youngin,” Sly said as he smiled at the beautiful young girl that he had practically raised.

  “By the way,” Honore said as she prepared to leave, “Cucci got a real good side-hustle going on at her jewelry-joint job. She just brought home some real nice ends last week and I’ma put some money on your books on the way out today, okay?”

  Sly waved her off. “Don’t worry about me, my darling. Just make sure you handle that business properly and then come back and see me when the shit is done. Matter of fact, I’m gonna put a few guys on stand-by just in case. You and Cucci stay on ya game and gimme a call before the shit gets real.”

  “Gotcha,” Honore confirmed with a big grin. Getting closer to the nasty glass between them, she pursed her lips and blew a kiss, and after saying her goodbyes to Sly McFly, Honore walked outta the visiting room at Rikers Island reinvigorated and full of spunk and energy. Thanks to her criminal-minded godfather, she and Cucci had a solid plan. Now it was time for them to get their scheming asses out there and execute it!

  CHAPTER 11

  If there was one thing Cucci had on her that beat every damn thing else she had going for her, it was her eyeballs. Cucci Momma saw every damn thing all the damn time, and couldn’t nothing go on under her nose without her greedy eyeballs picking up on it. So when her cousin Honore told her about the deal she’d made with Slimy Sal to ass-fuck Joel Samuelson, Cucci was down all the way to the ground, and she knew exactly how they could get inside Joel’s house.

  “Wake yo punk ass up!” Cucci barked as she flung a whole damn Kool-Aid pitcher full of cold water down into the white man’s sleeping face. His mouth was gapped open and his thin pink lips were stretched tightly over his teeth. “C’mon! Get the fuck up. Sleepy time is over, boss man.”

  Joel Samuelson, a millionaire tycoon, senior executive at the New York Diamond and Jewelry Exchange, and the plug that Cucci was fucking, lunged up choking and spitting like a muthafucka as his eyes fluttered and he fought to breathe and get his bearings together. A look of shock and horror fell down over his sleepy face as he saw the two masked figures lurking over him in the privacy of his own bedroom.

  “What the hell is going on?” the powerful executive screamed. He yanked at the expensive bedspread and pulled it up over his head like it was gonna shield him from an assault. Then, like the big bitch that he really was, Joel pissed on himself and lay there in the darkness, quivering in horror. “Please don’t hurt me,” he begged. “I’ll give you whatever you want, just please don’t harm me.”

  “Shut up!” Cucci snapped as she took off her mask. “It’s me, stupid ass!”

  “Rayven?” he shrieked, surprised to find that the beautiful young employee he was fucking and plucking was standing over him.

  “Uh-huh,” Cucci said, tooting up her lips. “It’s me. Damn right it’s me.”

  “Oh my God! What’s going on? Why are you doing this? I thought we had a good deal going between us! We were working so well together! I can’t believe—”

  “First of all,”—Cucci clicked on the light switch and cut him off with a raised hand—“ya think I didn’t notice when I got the littlest slice of that lettuce pie you dished out the other day? I’m the one who took all the risks by signing that diamond outta the vault, and you and Avi got most of the bank! Second of all, stop
all that damn yelling. Trust me, you woulda woke up dead and in hell if we had come here to hurt you, Joel! Me and my cousin are just here to put you up on some major game and to give you the opportunity to make some choices. The rest is up to you.”

  “R-r-rayven,” Joel repeated like he hadn’t heard a damn thing she said. He licked his lips nervously and squinted under the glaring light. “I-I-I just can’t believe you broke into my house! Goodness! What the hell are you even doing here? How the hell did you get in?”

  “I used your security code,” Cucci said simply. “You know the one you texted me that time when you wanted me to deliver you some head on heels in the middle of the night, remember?”

  Joel damn sure remembered that dick-licking Cucci had put on him, and now his voice rose in fear and anger. “You were supposed to delete that text dammit! What the hell do you want?”

  “Relax, old man,” Honore said as she took her mask off as well. “Cucci already told you. It don’t matter how the hell we got up in here because we ain’t the ones you need to be worrying about! Seems like you done made yourself an enemy who wants to see you take a real bad fall. I’m sure you know who I’m talking about. Your homeboy Slimy Sal. The dude you convinced to hire me to babysit his brat. Good looking out for that one, but Sal is a real scheming-ass prickster and apparently you done said something stupid to piss him off. He’s all hot and heated behind that shit, and he offered me and Cucci ten thousand dollars each to set you up.”

  “What?” Joel shrieked.

  Hearing that, Cucci cut her eyes at her cousin and smiled. She peeped Honore’s trickery and she loved it! Her girl was lying her ass off. She had told Cucci they were gonna split twenty-five hunnerd from Sal, and here she was spitting Joel some shit about ten grand each. Cucci was impressed. It was a real smoove move on Honore’s part, and it wasn’t like Joel was gonna call that nigga Sal up and verify that shit.