Bad Behavior

by Kiki Swinson

  CHAPTER 13

  Dressed to impress, Honore was sitting outside of the courthouse in a rented all-white Audi that still smelled brand-new. She’d spent most of the twenty-five hundred she’d stashed on the whip, some blow, some top-shelf champagne, and a brand new diamond earring for the only man who could ever get a dime outta her.

  The sun was shining high in the sky and her heart was full of excitement. Today was the day her favorite old-head was going to court and getting released from the bing, and she couldn’t wait to see him. In addition to the other gifts she’d bought him, she had a mix CD with all the oldies that he liked on deck, and a hot bag of some Shin’s take-out Chinese food, which was his favorite. Honore had missed the main man in her life, and she couldn’t wait to tell Sly McFly about all the good shit that was going on in her life, but she also had a request to make of him because she needed his muscle.

  “Hey baby girl,” Sly said as he opened the car door and got in the ride. He leaned over and gave Honore a big hug and kiss on the cheek and grinned. He was dressed clean as fuck in his tailor-made Brioni suit, casual shirt, and premium alligator shoes, looking relaxed and easy, like he had never done one damn day in jail.

  “Hi Sly!” Honore said, smiling brightly with excitement dancing in her hazel eyes. “I see you looking good as usual. How you feeling?”

  Sly McFly hit a button to move his seat back as he stretched his long legs and shrugged. “It feels good to be a free man again I’ll tell ya that. What’s that smell?” he asked, looking over the backseat. “You got me some Chinese from Shin’s joint? Damn, baby girl. You sure know how to treat a fly nigga like me.”

  “It’s only right, Sly,” Honore said as she smiled big enough to bust her whole damn face. She felt lifted up, up, up! Her security blanket was back on the scene, and she was feeling real confident about anything that might come up in her path.

  “You know I got ya back. I made sure to get the food special-wrapped to keep it hot too, ’cause I know you ain’t been eating shit but that commissary junk out there on the Rock. I knew you was feening for some General Tso’s chicken and some shrimp fried rice, and I told them to throw a couple of chicken wings in the bag too.”

  “Damn right,” Sly said as Honore handed him a cloth napkin and he tore through the wrapper and dug into his food. “Thanks for coming to pick me up love. They couldn’t hold a real nigga down forever. All they did was give me an opportunity to meet some new connects for all types of future shit I’m planning. But now that I’m out I got a few rounds to make. There’s a couple dumb-asses I gotta put in check for coming up slow with my money while I was locked up. Nothing new. What you got going on? How did that lil situation you had going on turn out?”

  “The shit is lit, Sly,” Honore said as she drove down the highway. “We pressed up on that big boss real hard just like you said. Me and Cucci got a nice-ass stack of greenbacks and guess what? I finally got me a real job! I ain’t start yet, but I’ma be working right there with Cucci. Her boss ain’t really have a choice once we let him know the low-down. You’re a fucking genius, Mister McFly.”

  “I don’t know what the hell ‘lit’ means,” Sly said as he licked sauce from his fingers. “But I’m glad it all worked out. Don’t nobody wanna get stabbed in the back, so anytime you’re able to see the knife coming you gotta make sure a muthafucka pays for that shit. All that is fine and cool, but what’s the catch with the situation now?”

  “Murder,” Honore said flatly. “Joel wants Slimy Sal put in a fucking wooden box. But Sal is expecting me to carry out the mission and plant the diamond on Joel real soon, so I don’t have much time to flatline his ass before the whole thing falls apart. I’m worried that Sal might put a contract on my head before we can get to him if he finds out I switched up on his bitch ass.”

  “Well I can’t say I would blame him for trying,” Sly said as he wiped his mouth with a napkin. “I’d be tryna plant a turncoat six feet deep in somebody’s graveyard too. Good thing the murder game is something I happen to specialize in. You just give me everything you’ve got on this Sal cat and his ass will be nothing but a memory real soon.”

  “I knew I could count on you old man,” Honore said with a smile. “How much do you want in return? Joel gave me a nice down payment and I can break you off with some cash today. I already know ain’t shit free out here. You the one who taught me that.”

  “You right, ain’t shit free,” Sly said as he leaned back in his seat. “But I don’t need your money, my darling. You just get ready to go in and do some good work at that new job of yours. Remember to keep your eye on the goal. This shit is just the first step. All I need you to do for me right now is take me straight to your aunt Frita’s house. I need me some pussy goddammit!”

  “Yuck nigga,” Honore said as she as she made the stink face at the thought of Sly fucking the shit outta her aunt. “I don’t need to know about that shit. Too much information there, sir. But I got you. I know you need that good shot of leg before you get yourself back in the game. Don’t you go hurting my auntie though, nigga. I’ll have to cut ya.”

  “Sheeeit,” Sly said, eyeing the city streets as they rolled. “You must not know your aunt the way I know her. You see them hips and all that solid ass that old lady got on her? She the one who’s gonna put a hurting down on me!”

  They both bust out laughing at that one. Sly and Honore felt real good riding together again. With their scheming minds, fine looks, and endless thirst for the good life, they were going to paint the town red and make some real good moves now that Sly was back on the scene.

  CHAPTER 14

  Just a few days after Sly McFly hit the bricks, Slimy Sal Silberman was loosening his paisley tie as he walked down the steps of the New York Diamond and Jewelry Exchange after a late night at work. It was hot and humid outside but he didn’t mind. The hot-shot junior executive had just closed a major deal that would allow them to open up another store over in New Jersey, which was something none of his senior executives had been able to do.

  Sal was in a great mood and enjoying the power plays he was making in his professional career. Not only was his archenemy Joel Samuelson about to be set up and incarcerated, Sal would probably take that bastard’s job, get a raise and earn a big bonus, and continue his side-hustle of selling crushed ice on the underground market as well. With a lovely banker wife who washed their illicit earnings through offshore accounts, and a handsome and healthy baby boy at home, life was good as fuck for Sal, and tonight he was smiling inside and enjoying every moment of it. His face lit up even more when his cell phone started ringing and he recognized the number on the screen.

  “Why, hello there,” Sal said brightly. “Talk to me, lil lady. Tell me something good.”

  “W’sup, Sal,” Honore said bluntly. “I’m just calling to let you know that you can go ahead and drop that rock off to me whenever you’re ready. Do you have it yet?”

  “No,” Sal answered. “But I will in a few hours. Right before I head to the airport and leave for my vacation.”

  “Okay, whatever,” Honore said coolly. “I just wanted you to know that everythang is everythang. I got the plan lined up and shit is in order just like you said you wanted it. It’s going down first thing tomorrow morning, so be sure to send them blue boys in with the search dogs bright and early. By the time you wake up in Bermuda and shit, shower, and shave, Joel will be knocked and this scandalous shit will be all over the news.”

  “Great! That’s the kind of news I like to hear,” Sal said as he walked into the dimly lit indoor parking garage. “That son of a bitch Samuelson is going to get exactly what he deserves tomorrow. I can’t wait to see the look on his face when he’s carted away in handcuffs. This will be a working vacation for me so I’ll be keeping a close eye on things from Bermuda. A crime of this magnitude is sure to make front-page headlines and once Samuelson is arrested he’ll be fired immediately. Make sure you go over every little detail and execute this plan properly, Honor
e,” Sal warned. “Your freedom and the other twenty-five hundred dollars of your deposit depends on it.”

  “Oh, trust and believe, I got it all covered on my side,” Honore said with confidence. “You just make sure you have my money ready, you hear me? And don’t try to play me out either, Sal. I know how your grimy ass gets down.”

  “This is serious business, Honore,” Sal said sternly as he clicked his car key fob and opened the door. “If you do the job right and deliver like you say you will, I will definitely honor my half of the deal. Fair and square. No funny business. Just get it done.”

  “Yeah, you’re right, Sal,” Honore said as a small giggle escaped her lips. “No funny business. This whole game is just business. Nothing personal. Have a great night.”

  Sal slid behind the wheel of his Mercedes, then pulled the door shut and disconnected the call. He was about to crank his shit up and head to his mini-mansion, but right before he put his key in the ignition his head was snatched backward and something sharp pierced the skin of his neck.

  “Hello there, Sal,” Sly McFly greeted him with a chuckle as Sal struggled in his seat. “How was your day, buddy? Don’t you make a slick fucking move or I’ll detach your goddamn head from your shoulders.”

  “Please don’t hurt me,” Sal begged, scared half to death. All sorts of shit was running through his mind. Who was this nigger in his backseat with a knife blade to his neck, and what the hell did he want? “Sir, I don’t know what’s going on here, but I don’t want any problems. I have about five hundred dollars in my wallet. Please take it.”

  “Relax, Sally boy,” Sly said, toying with him. “Everything’s gonna be all right in a minute. I didn’t come here for your money, my brotha. See, your ass just got out-maneuvered and you don’t even know it. You took a shit on somebody I love, Sal. Not only that, you underestimated her just because she’s got a pussy. But she’s a fast learner, Sal, and a fly nigga like me taught her everything she knows. She’s hood and she’s got a smart-ass mouth on her, but she got a lotta heart too, and she can be real vicious if you try to do her dirty. What got you fucked up tonight is the fact that she made a deal with a devil who’s got a longer dick and even deeper pockets than you do! The gun game got turned right on you, my man, and now you sitting on the wrong end of the muzzle.”

  “Oh my God! That bitch screwed me!” Sal shrieked as he realized what the stranger was telling him. Honore! That bitch had double-crossed him. She’d suckered the shit out of him! Which meant that Joel was in on this. He had to be! The realization and the thrust of Sly’s knife hit Sal like a ton of bricks and he lost control of his bowels. A long stream of warm piss flowed into his three-hundred-dollar gray slacks and soaked the leather seat of his Mercedes.

  “What about my son and my wife?” he gurgled desperately. “Please don’t hurt them! I’ll do anything you want!”

  “Fine time to think about them muthafuckas now!” Sly joked from the backseat as he dug the tip of his knife deeper into his victim’s neck. “Ol’ Joel Samuelson got himself a family too, my nigga. What about them muthafuckas, huh?”

  Sal flailed his arms and Sly chuckled as he shook his head. “This is the kinda payback you brought on yourself so don’t start complaining now! But hold up! What kinda bitch is you? Why the fuck do it smell like shit and piss up in here?”

  Sal tried to break free and make a move to open his door, but he was way too slow. The sharp blade ripped across his throat in one swift motion and he fell over with his head plopping down in the passenger seat.

  Sly opened the left rear door and watched as Sal violently twitched like a gutted fish. The mark gasped and gripped his neck as he tried to fight off the clutches of death. A few moments later Sal’s body jerked one final time, then he lay still with his drawers full of shit, his pants soiled in piss, and the rest of him soaked in blood.

  Sly McFly methodically hummed one of his favorite Bob Marley tunes as he lit up a Cuban cigar and walked away from the scene with the swagger of a true playa. He gave less than a fuck about the dead jewelry thief whose dead body was already cooling off in the car. The only things on his mind were the leftover ham hocks and butter beans that Frita had waiting for him on the stove, and getting him another shot of her good sweet pussy.

  CHAPTER 15

  It was Monday and Honore was styling her best curly hair-do and hot pink miniskirt ensemble, and she just knew she was looking gorgeous for her first day of work. Her cousin Cucci was modestly dressed in a sharp Alexander McQueen business suit with a white silk shift beneath it, and she smiled when she saw Honore walk in slaying the scene in true hood fashion.

  The cousins were back in sync together and they grinned at each other knowing exactly what it had taken for both of them to get where they were right at this moment. Slimy Sal was now maggot food, thanks to Sly. And not only was Honore’s bank account heavier than it had ever been before, she now had a real job at New York’s top jewelry store too. Things were looking gooder than a mutha for the sexy home team.

  “Hey cousin,” Cucci said as she came out from behind the counter. “You looking like a million big ones today, girl! Welcome to the New York Diamond and Jewelry Exchange, bitch! They done fucked around and hired both of us and we ’bout to have this shit lit! I’m so souped that I get to work witcho ass now.”

  “Yeah girl, I’m hyped, too,” Honore said as she smoothed out her clingy lil miniskirt nervously. “I’m just trying to get in where I fit in and get this mothafuckin’ money, nah’mean? I’m so glad this shit worked out in our favor. I’m just amped that my fucking PO can get off my back now and I don’t have to deal with them nosy bitches no time soon.”

  “I know that’s right, cuz,” Cucci said in a whisper as she waited for a customer to walk past and then stared at Honore’s gangbuster booty and exposed thighs. “Look, I forgot to hip you to this, but these people up in here are real high-class, you know what I’m saying? I mean, the people who come through these doors are practically drowning in money, and the bosses like us to look a certain way for them and talk a certain way too.”

  Honore cut her eyes. “A certain way like how?”

  “Like we got some damn class!” Cucci blurted out and smirked. “I mean, you can’t just walk up in here in ya club clothes and cursing outta both sides of your mouth, Honore! You gotta put some finesse on ya shit, you know? Tame ya tongue and try to talk like a lady. Everybody don’t have to know we from the projects just because we open our mouths, you feel me? We gotta talk proper and kinda white while we on the job, and once we bust outta here at the end of the day we can go back to talking how we really wanna talk.”

  Honore smirked. “Oh, so you saying if I wanna work up in here around all these rich-ass white people I gotta be somebody who I’m really not and fake-talk all damn day and pretend like I’m one of them, huh?”

  “Damn right.” Cucci nodded. “That’s exactly what you gotta do! And if you fuck around and slip up, just watch and see what happens. The first time you open your mouth and all that trifling hood you got in you comes rolling out, you gonna be out the door! I can guarantee you that! My boss been working on me for months now tryna get me to sound like I got some sense, and I’ve learned how to speak white-girl talk real good if you ask me. Now Mister Samuelson just got in his office a few minutes ago. He left a message that he wants you to go back there and sign some orientation paperwork or some shit like that, so pull that lil-ass skirt down to ya knees and get your shit together before you knock on his door. Other than me, he doesn’t ask for his front desk clerks to come back in his office that much, so I guess he wants to make sure your first day is gonna go real smooth. Just remember to keep it all about professional business. No matter what, talk white and don’t get personal.”

  “A’ight girl, that’s cool,” Honore said as she yanked on the hem of her skirt and tried to pull it down over the hump of her ass. When she was done she checked her mug out in her little pocket mirror and then grinned. “Okay, wish me luck. I’l
l be right back.”

  Leaving Cucci at the receptionist desk, Honore headed toward the back of the large jewelry outlet where Joel’s office was located. She banged on the door until she finally heard a voice tell her to come in.

  “Hello, Honore, come on in and take a seat,” Joel said as he sat chillin’ behind his expensive desk in his huge corner office. “Nice to officially meet you,” he said, dumbing out, “and I’m glad that you’ve chosen to seek legitimate employment at the New York Diamond and Jewelry Exchange.”

  “It’s very nice to be here, sir,” Honore said, practicing her white-girl talk with a nervous giggle. She had peeped Joel’s sarcasm too, but she decided to just go with it. They both knew that her being there was a big part of the deal that mutually benefitted all three of them, and their business compromise was now complete. Honore and Cucci had held up their end of the bargain by taking Sal out, and Joel had gotten the ultimate revenge on his cut-throat rival.

  “So,” Honore said with a small smile, “I’m here now. What will you have me doing today, Mister Samuelson, sir?”

  “Please, just call me Joel,” Cucci’s cocky sugar daddy said as he sexed Honore with his old-man eyes. Deep down inside Joel respected the power move that his lil fuck-bunny Cucci had pulled on him. Even though it was pretty grimy of her to use their relationship to break into his house, she had made a sound business decision that had also saved his ass from going to jail. And now he was about to make some sound decisions of his own.

  “Don’t worry,” Joel told Honore as he examined the smooth, supple skin on her exposed thighs. “Your new job won’t consist of anything that I don’t think you can’t easily handle. You won’t even break a fingernail. In fact, to start out I’ll have you doing some light clerical work. You know, filing papers and answering phones. I had to fire an intern to make room for you on the staff, so you’ll be my personal assistant of sorts.” His jungle fever–having ass eyeballed the delicious looking monkey sitting in front of him with all kinds of steamy thoughts running through his mind. “We’ll be working very closely together, and I must say that I’m very happy to have you on board!”