Alas My Love

by Tracie Peterson

  Richard closed his eyes, and Tancred saw that he fought for control of his emotions. There were tears in the duke’s eyes when he opened them to face his brother. “I wish to God most earnestly that I would never have arrived to stand as your accuser. How I have prayed a thousand times that I could take back that single night.”

  “ ’Tis no sense in living with regret of that night,” Tancred said, meeting his brother’s pain-filled gaze. “The matter is no longer between us. We need to combine our forces and seek out the true murderer.”

  “Aye,” Richard said with a nod. “I have tried these long months to find the men who bore you false witness.”

  “And?”

  “They are of no help to us, Tancred. They are dead.”

  “Dead?”

  “Aye. Shortly after the trial was completed and you were sent into exile, both men met with untimely deaths. Both died in their beds from what their families can remember. But after eleven years. . .”

  “It will not be easy to learn anything after all this time, but there must be something that will open the door for us. Even a small thing that can prove the matter in one direction or another.”

  “We must pray it will be so,” Richard said with confidence. “God in heaven would not allow this injustice to continue. I know not what reasons He has for this matter, but I trust He will guide us to a solution.”

  “May it be so, Brother,” Tancred replied. “May the truth be known to us both.”

  Chapter 14

  Tancred was greatly impressed by Richard’s newest addition to the castle. His weapons storeroom was not large, but it was well stocked. Tancred admired the collection of swords, battle axes, and flails.

  “With the town growing larger and stronger, there may not be so much to fear,” Richard remarked, “but we’ll be ready nevertheless.”

  “The tunnels you have below the castle are invaluable to you also,” Tancred reminded his brother.

  Richard smiled. When Tancred had taken over Gavenshire in hopes of clearing his name, Richard had used the tunnels to gain access to the castle. “Aye, the tunnels are most beneficial.”

  “You’ve done well here, Brother.” Tancred could appreciate the hard work and fortune spent upon the fine arsenal.

  “The men have trained throughout the winter, and I believe they’d almost relish the chance to make war upon someone.”

  Tancred laughed. “ ’Tis the way of our kind, I suppose. We make war upon things and conquer.”

  “I pray we might not find the need to make war just yet,” Richard said earnestly. “I’ve only begun my home and family. I’d not relish the thought of giving up my peaceful life so soon.”

  “God grant us a long peace and the strength to defeat our enemies when war does come.” Tancred’s words were still ringing in the room when Devon appeared in the doorway.

  “Richard?”

  “What is it, Devon?”

  “We have a visitor to Gavenshire.”

  “Another one? Well, let it be so. Spend as much time here as you like, Tancred, and I’ll go see to our newest guest.”

  Tancred nodded and picked up a well-made shield. It was expensively crafted with heraldic work gracing the face with Richard’s coat of arms. He paused to trace the lines of the design, but his mind was upstairs on the fair Helena. What was he to do about her? He had nothing at this point to offer her, and so marriage was out of the question. He could not subject her to his shame, and until he cleared his name once and for all, Tancred knew he would not feel comfortable even in paying her court.

  With a heavy sigh, he contemplated the matter. He would have to speak to Helena and let her know how he felt, and yet, there was so much he still couldn’t understand. Eleven years had passed, and throughout that time, Helena’s faith had never wavered. Even when the rest of the world had condemned him as a murderer, Helena had never believed him possible of the feat. How could he now tell her that he could have no part of her until the matter was resolved?

  Forgetting the shield, Tancred saw, instead, Helena’s sweet face. He wanted nothing more than to go to her and proclaim his love, for if one thing was truly clear in his mind, it was that he held a deep, abiding love for her. It was hard to imagine that he was capable of such a thing after so much had happened to embitter him and harden his heart. But God had released him from that pain, and the sorrow that he’d known deep down in his soul was now only a fleeting memory.

  “Ah, Helena,” Tancred whispered in the shadowy privacy of the room, “I do love you. First as a tiny girl, flitting about under my feet, and now as the woman you’ve become.”

  ❧

  “I would like to speak a word with my sister,” Roger Talbot said. He stood just inside the common room where Arianne and her maid servants spent time sewing and spinning wool.

  Arianne and Helena glanced up together, but neither one said a single word to acknowledge Roger’s presence. The women working alongside the duchess cowered back a bit, but Arianne refused to be intimidated.

  “I have come some distance, and I refuse to be put off any longer. I looked for your husband, but was unable to locate him. In his absence, I implore you to consider my request,” Roger stated, this time a bit less harsh.

  Arianne glanced at Helena for only a moment before returning her gaze to Roger. “I do not believe it to be in Helena’s best interest.”

  “Helena’s best interest!” Roger bellowed. “What about my best interest? I have lands that need my attention and villeins who are most likely robbing me blind—”

  “Then I suggest you return to your land and people,” Arianne interjected. “No one is forcing you to stay here.” She paused for a moment to make certain her words were heard. “Just as Helena will not be forced to leave.”

  “She is my sister, and I am her guardian.”

  Helena lifted her face to meet her brother’s angry stare. “I will appeal to King Henry,” she stated matter-of-factly. “I have that right. I am kin, and you are not.”

  Roger paled noticeably at this. “You have caused me nothing but grief.”

  Arianne’s temper got the best of her. “She has caused you grief? How dare you? I have seen the marks upon her back. She certainly did not put them there of her own accord. I wonder, Sir Talbot, who might have lain a whip upon the back of the queen’s own relation?”

  “I am not proud of the past, neither am I content with the present.” Roger paused, as though weighing the situation.

  Helena forced herself to watch him. He wanted very much to frighten her because, in her fear, Roger found his power. She shuddered at this thought. Roger’s power and Maude’s vindictiveness were all too close in her memories. It was the reason she so adamantly pleaded with Arianne for protection. It was the reason she could not allow Roger to corner her alone.

  “Your Grace, I beg your indulgence.” Roger spoke to Arianne, never taking his eyes from Helena’s face. “This is but a family matter. The child is grief-stricken and knows not what she wants or needs. As her guardian, I am obligated to make the best possible choices for her well-being.”

  “And those choices include a sound lashing when she refuses to do your bidding?”

  Helena felt Arianne tense beside her. She’d never seen the duchess truly angry. Timothy started to fuss, so Helena reached down to the floor where he lay and lifted him to her lap.

  “This is my bidding,” Roger stated angrily, waving his arm to where Helena sat with the baby. “I only wanted her to have a family of her own. She needs a good husband, one who will care for her and give her children.”

  “And she was to find this in a convent?” Arianne asked sarcastically.

  “Nay! The convent was my last alternative. I intended to see her cared for, that is all.”

  “Then why not allow her to live on with you?
”

  Helena spoke so softly that at first Arianne and Roger seemed not to have heard her. Handing Timothy to Arianne, Helena got to her feet. Her eyes were blazing.

  “I am tired of this constant battle on my behalf, with no consideration to my desire. I sit in this very room, and while I want no part of conversing with you in seclusion where you would take advantage of my weaker nature, I certainly do not wish to be discussed as though I didn’t exist.

  “If I were to return to the manor with you, would you swear an oath that I would be allowed to choose my own mate? Would you put Maude away from me and refuse to listen to her contrivances against me? Would you forget the foolishness of sending me to a convent? And before you answer, dearest brother, might I remind you that perjury is a mortal sin.”

  Roger stared blankly at her for a moment. He’d known Helena to speak up from time to time, but never to defend herself with the strength he saw here. Perhaps it was only that the duchess’s presence made her brave. Perhaps it was finding DuBonnet and proclaiming her love. Whatever it was, he found it most disturbing.

  Helena moved across the room to stand only inches from Roger. She was tired of cowering before him and angry for the way he continued to treat her as though she were nothing more than a serving girl. “Can you swear an oath to any of my requests, Roger?”

  Roger shook his head. “I need not swear to you anything. I have a responsibility to you, and whether or not you like it, I am your guardian. It is my right to see you properly wed—”

  “I intend to be properly wed,” Helena interrupted. “I intend to be a wife and to keep a home and, yes, even to bear many children. But I will do so with the man I love and not with some addle-brained milk sop that you pawn me off on.”

  She snatched off her wimple and tossed it to the floor, where she stepped on it roughly. “I’m nothing more than this cloth to you. Something to be trampled beneath your feet, for your good pleasure and will. I refuse to be that any longer, Roger Talbot. I will not be commanded by you or your sister.”

  Roger was so taken aback by her actions that he was near to cowering himself. He stared in surprise at Helena as though seeing her for the first time.

  Helena turned from him to face Arianne. “I most humbly apologize for my overzealous manner. My stepbrother has greatly vexed me for some time. It amazes me that one as refined as Roger can act so completely void of intelligence. He has no loyalty and no honor.”

  Just then a commotion arose from the door where a young serf was urgently trying to precede an overdressed woman into the room.

  “I’m sorry, Your Grace,” he apologized. “The duke bid her wait in the hall, but she heard the voices and—”

  “I refuse to be put off any longer,” Maude announced, pushing past the boy. “Roger, tell him to leave me alone and be gone.”

  The boy looked to Arianne for his instruction. “The matter is no longer your concern,” Arianne told him. “Bid my husband to join us.”

  “Aye, Your Grace,” he said and gave a brief bow.

  “Helena, precious little sister,” Maude said, reaching out to offer a kiss of greeting.

  Helena pulled back and her eyes narrowed. “Don’t touch me.”

  Maude was notably shocked, and Roger laughed out loud. “It seems our little sister has found her voice useful for more than singing. She was just informing me of her demands.”

  “Demands? From her guardian?” Maude said in a snide tone that immediately set Arianne on her feet.

  “This is my home, and I would know who you are. Surely you forget yourself.” Holding Timothy close, she eyed Maude sternly and waited for the older woman to speak.

  “I am Lady Maude Talbot. I was wife to Lord Ricbod before he died in poverty and disgrace. As sister to Roger and, of course, Helena,” Maude said with contempt in her eyes, “I reclaimed my family’s name.”

  “Very well, Lady Talbot, I am the duchess of Gavenshire,” Arianne stated and did not offer to lessen the formality by giving her first name.

  Maude’s eyes widened for just a moment before she regained her composure and curtsied. “Your Grace.” The words were muttered, but nevertheless, the title was offered.

  “I am quite unused to people refusing to keep my husband’s orders. This was a private conversation, and I would keep it that way.”

  Maude realized her opponent and changed tactics. “I beg your pardon, Your Grace.”

  Helena recognized Maude’s plan immediately. “She begs no one for anything. She is not to be trusted, Arianne.”

  Maude stepped forward with her hand raised as if to slap Helena, but a firm hold on her wrist stopped any forward motion. “What in the—” She stopped in midsentence as she realized who held her. “Tancred DuBonnet. But you can’t be here,” Maude said, completely aghast. “The king—the king, he found you guilty of murder and exiled you.”

  “Aye, and that same king set me free with pardon.” He released Maude’s hand and went to stand beside Helena. “I suppose you have come out of deep concern for your stepsister.”

  Helena felt her spirits soar at the evident support that Tancred was offering her. She stepped a bit closer to her beloved Tanny and felt his arm slip around her in a protective manner.

  Maude nearly blanched. “How dare you touch her?”

  “He dares because I will it so,” Helena declared.

  Richard entered the room, with Devon not far behind. “I thought I gave you instructions to await my return.” He gazed hard at Maude. It was the first time Helena had ever seen her shrink back from any man.

  “I heard the voices and knew it to be my family. You must forgive me, Your Graces, but my worry for my sister was greater than my fear of reprisal. I do beg your pardons.” Maude’s voice was as smooth as polished silver.

  Helena snorted. “Hah! She has been my misery these twenty long years. The only thing you fear, Maude, is missing out on a good fight.”

  Maude looked at Roger for support. “Are you going to let her talk to me that way?”

  “What would you suggest I do? Challenge the men of Gavenshire to a fight? Swords at dawn? Be reasonable, Woman, Helena has the upper hand here, and so long as the good duke intercedes on her behalf, we have naught a say about it.”

  Roger came up alongside Maude and stared past the woman to Tancred. “As for this man, our sister fancies him to be her true love.” No one missed the sarcasm in Roger’s voice. “She has worshipped him since she was a swaddling, or so it would be told.”

  “You cannot mean it,” Maude said, turning to see if her brother was serious.

  “Oh, but I do. Fair Helena intends to marry the fool.”

  Helena blushed crimson and would have turned away from Tancred to bury her hands in her face, but he held her tight and answered the assault. “ ’Tis my understanding that she has the king’s blessing to choose her mate. A man would be a fool, indeed, were he to reject the devotions of one so innocent and pure.” He reached across to caress Helena’s cheek.

  “You are not married yet,” Roger said, his voice low and menacing. “Unhand her and treat her with more respect.”

  “Respect such as you would offer?”

  “Stop it!” Helena exclaimed.

  “Yes,” Richard said, interceding. “I would see this matter concluded. Lady Talbot, you are welcome to stay. I have ordered a room to be prepared for you. If you desire, I will have one of my people show you there.”

  Maude looked at Roger for a moment and then at Helena. “I would be happy to take my comfort here.”

  “Very well.” Richard motioned to one of the women. “Take Lady Talbot to her room. As for you,” Richard turned to address Roger, “I will keep peace in my home. Should that not be possible with you or your sister within the walls of this castle, then you will be asked to leave.”

  Sometim
e later, Maude stood looking out her chamber window. She was seething with rage and jealousy. She hadn’t missed the loving way Tancred had rushed to Helena’s defense, nor had she missed the devotion and admiration in Helena’s eyes. It was surprise enough to find Helena had survived her ordeal and taken refuge with the duke of Gavenshire, but this was too much.

  Tancred DuBonnet was in England. Not only in England, but here. How wonderful he looked, Maude mused. He was only better after all these years, and now, with the king’s pardon, he would no doubt be reinstated with the title and lands.

  “And that little baggage thinks she can snatch him away from me,” Maude said venomously. “Methinks there will be no wedded bliss for you, dear stepsister. Tancred DuBonnet rejected me once. He dare not do it a second time.”

  Chapter 15

  Tancred felt sweat run down the middle of his back as he hoisted the sword overhead. The leather tunic was newly made and not very supple, and because of this, his movements were far less fluid than he would have liked.

  “You fight like a woman,” Roger said smugly. He had been observing the knights in training and found it to be a most disturbing display. His own men were far from being trained as well, and even Tancred, with his years in exile, fought better than many of Roger’s most trusted people.

  “Then hoist up your skirts and enter the fray,” Tancred replied, meeting the sword of his opponent with a dull thudding ring.

  “How dare you!” Roger’s face reddened as several idle men guffawed and snickered. He glared at them sharply, but to no avail. These men knew he was of little threat to their well-being.

  Tancred waved his hand to call off the mock battle and approached Roger. “You have no war with me, Talbot. Be gone from this place so we can work in peace.”

  Roger drew his own sword with one fluid motion and pointed it at Tancred’s chest. “I most certainly have a war with you. You have dallied with my sister’s affections.”

  “Helena told you the truth about Maude.”