Lucky Me

by B. B. Donnelly

  I clutch my shirt in my hands and watch Asher start to climb down. He pauses before he disappears.

  “I’m really sorry.” He says and I can see remorse in his eyes. Then he is gone.

  I let the tears roll down my cheeks. After what seems like forever, I finally put my bra and shirt back on. The night air is chilly and matches my mood. I know I’m wallowing in self-pity, but I can’t help it. The anger I feel for my mom and Tim, the emotional rollercoaster of Asher, it’s too much….

  I climb down from the tree house and make my way to the house. All the lights are on, but my focus is on the new cherry red BMW. It’s like I’m blaming it for all of my problems. I’m glaring at it with so much hate. I rip open the door and plop down in the leather seat. It’s beautiful and smells brand new.

  I hate it. I want my truck. I have to see my truck. I start the car, feeling lucky that the key fob is in the cup holder. It’s a fancy car with an automatic start button. I miss my keys with the keychain left behind by my father.

  He had a music note keychain. I have to assume that he was musically inclined. My mother isn’t, so my musical talents had to come from him. I guess I will never know. The anger returns full force.

  Tim comes running out the back door. I flip him off and take off. He runs back inside, probably to tell my mom on me. Asshat.

  I gun the car down the street and hit the open roads at high speed. I’m going to find my truck and trade this car in for it. I know logically that the car dealership is probably closed, but I’ll wait all night if I have too.

  I whip around the winding curves that take me into town. Suddenly, I take a curve to fast and I lose control of the car. The tree is coming fast. My pathetic life flashes before my eyes and then impact, my head whips forward, then blackness….

  “Come on baby girl. It’s not your time….” A voice with a southern drawl says.

  “I don’t want to go back….”

  “You have too, baby girl.”

  “Daddy?”

  “That’s right, princess, I’m here.”

  “Don’t leave me.”

  “I’m always here.”

  “Please….”

  “It’s not your time, baby girl. It’s not your time….” His voice fades away.

  The next thing I know I’m blinking and trying to focus. It’s pitch black, except for the headlights on the car. I can see the front end is crumpled up against the tree and I’m scared. I don’t know if I’m hurt.

  A flashlight is suddenly in my face.

  “Miss, are you alright?” A man asks. He looks worried. I shake my head in shock.

  “Sit tight, I called 9-11. They are on their way.” He says.

  I start shaking and I know I’m in complete shock.

  “Try to stay calm.” He says reassuringly. I can’t stop shaking….

  What did I do?

  Chapter Fifteen

  They loaded me up into an ambulance. I’m alert the whole time, but yet, I feel like I’m in a daze. They keep asking me if anything hurts, but I can’t tell. They say it might be shock. They are doing x rays and tests on me. I’m lying in the emergency room alone. I’m starting to feel sore in certain areas of my body, but at least I can move all my limbs.

  The doctor I had before walks in with a pleasant smile.

  “Hi there Charleigh. How are you feeling? Pretty crummy?” Dr. Manning says, lightening the mood.

  “Yeah.” I say.

  “Well, everything has checked out and you just have some bumps and bruises. Your neck seems fine, but it might be sore from whiplash. You suffered a mild concussion. You were very lucky tonight.”

  I think back on everything that happened. Yeah, lucky me…

  “Thank you.” I say.

  “I’m going to release you, but if anything starts bothering you more than usual, such as dizziness or nausea please notify us immediately. I didn’t see anything to be alarmed with, but anytime you lose consciousness, we like to take precautionary measures. With that being said, is there anyone that could drive you home?”

  “I’ll just get an Uber.” I say and regret it. The pity that comes into his eyes is almost my undoing. Keep it together, Charleigh.

  “Surely there is someone you can call. Are you afraid to call your parents? They have been notified that you are here.”

  They know and they didn’t come, of course.

  “No, I mean I did wreck a brand-new BMW so….” I say with a forced smile trying to act like everything is normal, but he looks at me in concern.

  “My offer still stands if you need to talk to someone.” He says, gently.

  “Thank you. You know what? I can call someone.” I say and he nods. He pats my hand.

  “Be careful out there. I don’t want to see you in here anytime soon.”

  “Me either.” I mutter.

  “Okay then, let me get the nurse.”

  He leaves and a nice nurse comes in. She says to give her the number and she will call for me. After she leaves, I lay back for a moment. What the hell was I thinking? I’m so screwed. Tim will kill me for sure.

  I guess I better face the music. I get out of the bed and put on my clothes and shoes. I wait patiently for the nurse. She comes in with my release papers and once again I sign myself out. I hate the pity looks I receive from the staff. They know something is odd when a minor’s parents aren’t there when their daughter is in a car accident.

  I’m listening to her reiterate the doctor’s orders about any cause of concerns I may have when there is a commotion in the lobby.

  “Where is she?” I hear his voice yell and then there he is. He rushes to me.

  “Are you okay?” He asks, panicking.

  He cups my face and the fear I see causes my heart to ache. He is so handsome, and the nurse is shell shocked. He is looking me over and when he sees I’m okay, he relaxes slightly.

  “What the hell happened?” He asks softly.

  “I’ll tell you on the way home.” I reply, glancing towards the nurse and a few others that are in my doorway.

  They are whispering to one another and Ash has no clue or doesn’t even care. I know what they are thinking… ASHER STEWART IS HERE!!! My thoughts exactly, but I don’t care that he is a Rockstar, I just want the man.

  He helps me to my feet and keeps a hold of me. He takes a moment to sign a few autographs and I thank the nurses again. They gush all over us. He helps me into his car, and I lean my head back. I sigh and look out the window.

  “Start talking, Charleigh.” He demands. I look at him with sad eyes.

  “I don’t know…one minute I was happy with you and the next I ran a brand-new BMW into a tree.”

  “Is this my fault?” He asks, looking at me like I’m unstable.

  “God no!” I exclaim.

  “Did you…. did you run it into the tree on purpose?” He asks, hesitantly. I laugh.

  “I’ve been through a hell of a lot worse than what happened these past days and never tried to kill myself.” I say. When he looks at me again, I can see he is really worried.

  “Ash, I’m fine. I lost control of the car. I didn’t do it on purpose, but no matter what I say, there is no way to convince Tim and my mom. They are going to be fucking pissed.” I say, trying not to show my fear.

  “Okay, well…. I’m glad to hear that it wasn’t on purpose. Let me handle your mom and Tim.”

  I sigh and lean back again with my eyes closed.

  “I’ll make sure nothing comes out of you driving under the influence.” He says quietly.

  “Will I get into trouble?”

  “Did they do a blood test?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Then you should be fine, but if something comes out, I’ll take care of it.”

  “Thanks.” I mutter, disappointed in myself. I could have gotten myself into a lot of trouble.

  “Are you going to be okay for the performance on Saturday?”

  “I’m fine, don’t worry about it. I pro
mise I’ll be at my best.” I say.

  “I’m not worried about your ability; I’m worried about you. I don’t give a shit about it. If you aren’t up to it, we’ll cancel.” He says.

  It makes me happy to know he cares more about me than the performance, but I also know how important it is for their career.

  “It’s all good. I just need a good night’s sleep.” I say. We drive in silence and I find myself drifting off.

  The next thing I know, we are in his driveway. I climb out of the car and start towards my house.

  “No, you don’t. Come on.” He says and gently grabs my arm. He pulls me towards his house.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Look you need rest and I know you don’t sleep worth a damn in that house. You can stay with me tonight. Obviously, they don’t give a shit that you were in the hospital, so I highly doubt they are looking for you tonight.” He states and the sad thing is… he is right.

  “Okay, thank you.” I don’t argue. I’m too tired and I desperately need sleep. I haven’t slept well in days and my body needs to shut down.

  He leads me into the house and his mom meets us.

  “Oh honey, are you okay? You gave us a heart attack!” She says, hugging me.

  Tears pop in my eyes. What would it be like to have a mother like her? She pulls back and sees my tears.

  “Are you okay?” I nod, too emotional to talk.

  “I’m going to put her in the guest room.” Asher states.

  “Do you think that’s a good idea? Her parents must be worried sick.” She says.

  I look at the ground, but I catch them exchanging glances. When I look up, Tammy is giving me a sympathetic look.

  “Honey, stay as long as you like.” She says and I give her a grateful smile.

  I give her another hug and let her hold me longer than usual. When she releases me, I start towards the stairs.

  “Do you need any help?” Asher asks.

  “No, I’m good. Thanks for coming to get me, Ash. I really appreciate it.” I say. I start to turn towards the stairs but remember to add…

  “Hey Ash, please don’t tell Michael. I don’t want him to worry.”

  Our eyes connect and there are so many words left unsaid. He nods and I feel him watching me. I go up to the guest room that is next to Asher’s. I take off my shoes and crawl into the bed. I turn on my side and look out the window. I don’t know what tomorrow is going to bring, but it will probably be bad. I need to get as much sleep as I can.

  I hear footsteps in the hall, and I stay still. The door creaks open and Asher comes closer to the bed. I pretend to be asleep. His fingertips gently trace my cheekbone and then they are gone. I hear him walk out of the room and silently close the door behind him. I know he feels something for me. Why does he keep denying us?

  I sleep soundly the whole night for the first time in a long time. I wake up to Tammy gently shaking me with the morning light shining through the windows.

  “Charleigh, honey, your mom wants to talk to you.” I roll over and look up at her.

  “She’s here?”

  “Yes, she’s downstairs.” She sees my hesitation.

  “I’ll be right there with you.” She says with determination. I can’t imagine how awkward it was for her to be in the same room with my mother.

  “Okay, I’ll be right down.” She shuts the door behind her, and I get out of bed.

  I go to the bathroom and wash my face. I brush my teeth with one of their spares and brush my hair. There are bruises on my forehead and my cheekbone. I’m sure there are more on my body because I feel extremely sore, especially where the seatbelt was. I’ll have to check them out later. I take a deep breath and make my way downstairs.

  My mom and Tammy are in the kitchen, standing there in silence. Tammy looks relieved to see me and my mom just stares at me.

  “Are you okay?” My mom asks, but there isn’t any concern in her tone.

  “Yes.”

  “It’s time to come home.”

  “No.”

  “Charleigh, come home now.” She says firmer.

  “She can stay with us.” Tammy offers.

  “She is my daughter.” She states and I laugh at her. She turns her anger towards me.

  “Don’t act like you even care.” I say with a roll of my eyes.

  “You just don’t want to lose control over me.” I continue with disgust.

  “Cindy, I think Charleigh needs some space and this gives Tim and you some alone time.” Tammy tries to suggest.

  “Tammy stay out of this. This is between Charleigh and I.”

  Asher walks in at this moment and his presence gives me the courage to get out what I need to say.

  “Mom, I’m going to tell you something and I know you won’t believe me, but I need to tell you.”

  “Charleigh, tell me at home.”

  “No, I’m not going home.”

  “Yes, you are. Tim has already forgiven you for the car. We will get it fixed and all will be fine.”

  “Are fucking delusional?” I ask. Tammy and Asher exchange glances. I can tell they don’t know what to do.

  “Charleigh, this is a private discussion. Come home and we will talk about whatever problems you think you have.” My mom says, glancing at Asher and Tammy. Oh, she doesn’t want to air our dirty laundry? She still wants to pretend everything is perfect? Fuck that!

  “Will you two please stay? I don’t think I can do this without you.” I say looking at Asher and Tammy. They both nod.

  “This is ridiculous, I’m your mother, just talk to me. You act like you are terrified of me.”

  “I’m not scared of you. I’m scared of Tim.”

  “Not this again, Charleigh.” She says, rolling her eyes. Her reaction gets me so angry that I let it all out.

  “Mom, do you know that one of your boyfriends kissed me when I was fourteen? Do you know he tried to get me to touch him? You didn’t believe me. How about when I was fifteen? Remember your boyfriend Logan? Michael stopped Logan from touching me. You didn’t believe me. So many others that I had to protect myself from. That was your job, Mom. You were supposed to protect me, but you blamed me when they dumped you. You couldn’t face the fact that they wanted to hurt me. Did you ever think that if you would have put me first, I could have been what your life was missing? But no, guy after guy, loser after loser. And now you have Tim. Tim…. he beat me so badly that I went to the hospital, he touched me in the most intimate spots with force, and he tries to get in my room almost every night. He gets you drunk so you won’t hear him. I put a dresser in front of my door just so he can’t get in. I climb out of my room every night just to escape him. He offered to get my truck back if I let him do things to me. You never believe me. Why can’t you believe me?” I scream at her.

  “You are a tease. If you dress a certain way, you are going to get attention. I don’t appreciate you flirting with my boyfriends. You are the problem, Charleigh. You are an attention seeking whore and I’m ashamed of you. They all tell me how you come on to them. You have a problem. I understand you might have some daddy issues but pushing your body on men is not the way.” She says, so matter of fact. My mouth falls open.

  I squeeze back the tears by closing my eyes. When I open them, my eyes are watering, but I can see the horrified look on Tammy’s face as she looks at my mom. I glance over at Asher’s and see so much anger and disgust. He is staring at my mom like she is the worst human on the planet.

  “I guess it would be okay if I stay here then. I won’t be there to tempt or throw myself at Tim.” I say with a mixture of hurt and sarcasm.

  “Yeah, whatever. Don’t come asking me for anything.” She says and without a word she walks out the door.

  I collapse onto the floor. I hug my knees to my chest and rock back and forth. My mom doesn’t believe me. Why do I put so much importance on it? Why do I care? I can’t stop the tears from rolling down my face.

  Tammy comes over to me and lays a
hand on my head. My sobs are getting louder.

  “Honey, I’m so sorry.” She says. I hear Asher walking over to us.

  “I got this.” Asher whispers to his mom.

  “I’m going to give you two a moment.” Tammy says and I feel her lift her hand off of me.

  Asher sits down next to me on the ground and pulls me on his lap. He strokes my hair as I cry. He sits there in silence while I cry my heart out.

  “I miss Michael.” I sob out.

  “Me too.” He replies.

  When my tears start to dry up, he takes me by the shoulders, pushing me back so I can look at him. He wipes a stray tear from my cheek.

  “Now, no more tears for her. You don’t need her, Charleigh. She will bring you down. She can no longer hold you back. In less then a week, you are eighteen. You are going to stay with us until then. Everything is okay now. You have nothing to fear.”

  “I don’t know why I need her to believe me.”

  “Charleigh, she believes you, but she doesn’t want too. There’s a difference. She knows what is going on, but she doesn’t want to admit it. She places the blame on you because she doesn’t know how to point the finger at herself.”

  “It hurts Asher.” I whisper.

  “I know, baby.” He says softly.

  He called me baby. I can’t even think about what that could mean right now. I wipe my tears away because he is right, I need to be over her. I get off of his lap and grab his hand to help him up. When he stands up, he looks at me intently.

  “You okay?” He asks with a hand on my shoulder.

  “I will be.” I say.

  “Thanks for having my back, Ash. I really appreciate everything you and Tammy are doing for me.”

  “No problem. Just keeping my promise to Michael.” He says with a smile. He is starting to push me away again. I can tell the signs now.

  “Hey, I got to run an errand. I’ll be back later. We can grab your stuff from your house then.”

  “If she’ll let us.” I say.

  “She will.” He says, determined.

  “Okay, see ya.” I say awkwardly and walk up to the guest room. I lay back down on the bed. My mind is racing. Why won’t he let me in?