Finding Life

by Tiffani Lynn

  I smooth my dress a little and take a deep breath as I round the dividing wall between the hall and the lounge area. It takes a few seconds to locate Victor in the crowd and when I do my stomach does a somersault because he’s in the middle of taking a serious swing at Jerry Stanton and connecting. He must’ve hit the right spot because Stanton stumbles back slightly and drops like a dead tree in the forest. Victor is obviously seething so I push my way through the gathering crowd to him and reach him right as he’s turning to a man I still haven’t met who is pulling on his arm and berating him. I stop short when a fierceness comes from Victor’s tone of voice that I didn’t know he was capable of. “Ralph, I’ve spent years putting up with his shit. He’s inappropriate, sexist, rude and condescending. He went too far this time and I’m done with it. The fact that you know he’s a fucking asshole and have done nothing about it up to this point makes you just as liable for his foul mouth and behavior.” He leans down into the smaller man’s face, who has yet to say another word. In fact, he looks shocked. “I quit. If being a partner means sucking it up so men who are not really men can act like assholes, then I don’t have time for it. I’ll be by the office on Monday to collect my things.”

  As Victor finally acknowledges me and grabs my hand to leave, the older man finally speaks up, “Victor, you’re a partner. You can’t quit like this. Let’s discuss this on Monday.”

  “No, I’m done. I’ve worked too hard lining the pockets of this firm to be disrespected the way he does almost every day.”

  “You’ll never get another partnership in the state of Colorado if you walk away from this one.”

  “I don’t need to. I don’t give a rat’s ass about being a partner in a firm. Living my life with integrity and enjoyment is far more important than working hard so you can golf every Friday without fail and take vacations the rest of us only dream of.”

  The whole room is silent and Mr. Hadensbach is beet red. Victor grips my hand a little tighter, steps over Stanton, who is still out cold on the floor, and I note, no one is fussing over, and leads me through the door to the valet stand. While the valet runs to get Victor’s car, he pulls me in close and holds me tight.

  “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you tonight,” he says quietly.

  “You didn’t embarrass me. I’m a little worried about you quitting your job so dramatically, but embarrassed is not the term I’d use.”

  “Are you angry? I’ll get another job. I have more than enough money saved to get me through a year of rainy days. That won’t be an issue.”

  “Haven’t you figured out that I don’t care about money? I’m more worried about you. What started that whole thing?”

  “I’ll explain once we’re home. I don’t want to talk about it here. Don’t worry about me. I’m resilient. I’ve been through worse.”

  I rest quietly against him until the valet appears with the hot little sports car that I now worry might not be paid off. The ride is quiet except for the radio playing softly as we zip along the busy streets until we reach my neighborhood. Once we’re back at my house I almost expect him to drop me off and leave after the way everything went down, but I am pleasantly surprised when he locks the door behind us and backs me up to my poor, already battered, little table. Without saying a word, he thrusts his hands in my hair and holds my face as he plunders my mouth. The best kisses I’ve ever had are with him—the slow and soft, the rough and hard, the eager and hungry—all of them.

  When he pulls back he whispers, “Let’s forget about that crap from tonight for now. I want to make love to you. I want to finish what we started earlier and I want to spend the rest of the night in your arms.”

  Well, who can resist that request? Not me! “Yes,” I whisper, turn and lead him to my room.

  Several hours and a couple of condoms later, he’s lying on his back with a slight sheen of sweat covering his smooth olive skin. My head is on his shoulder, my thigh hiked up over his, and I’m alternating between softly dragging my fingernails along his abs and circling the one nipple I can see at this angle. His cock twitches a little against my thigh and he grumbles, “You’re going to have to give me a little recovery time.”

  I smile slightly. “Me too. I just like touching you.”

  He squeezes the one butt cheek he can reach and says, “I feel the same.”

  There’s a long pause and just when I think he’s dozing off, he says, “I punched him because he asked which position I did you in before we got there tonight. Said he wanted to know so he could do the same when it was his turn. I warned him the last time he said something to you, and tonight… I was finally done with his bullshit. He’s been making power plays at work and harassing me and I’m just tired of him. It was time to handle it like a man. If my boss was going to stand by while he said something about you, I didn’t care what he thought either.”

  “You lost your job because of me?”

  “I didn’t lose it. I quit it. I’m tired of their bullshit. I have no reason to take that kind of crap from anyone and you don’t deserve to have anyone talk about you like that. I don’t even like my job.”

  “You don’t need to stand up for me. I’m a big girl.”

  “This is true, but you’re also my woman and I won’t allow anyone to disrespect you where I can hear it. I feel like you’d do the same for me.”

  “Speaking of that…” I trail off, wondering if I should bring up the bathroom conversation.

  He must hear the uncertainty in my voice because he sits up and rolls so we are side by side, facing each other. Those amazing hazel eyes drill into me, urging me to continue without saying a word.

  Following a tired sigh, I fill him in on the bathroom conversation and he makes a move to roll away from me to his back. I grip his shoulder and pull him back to me.

  “Tell me if any of what they said is true.”

  “I worked a case once with Miriam for about two weeks straight where we worked past normal business hours, but I swear I never touched her. It wasn’t long after Carol died and even if I was attracted to her, I was too busy being heartbroken to have sex with anyone. Unfortunately for her, I’m not attracted to her in the least, but apparently that didn’t stop the rumors from flying. I’ve always ignored them because I don’t care. I’m sorry you had to hear them, but I’m proud as hell at the way you stood up to them. The women at that firm, minus Nina, are bitches.” His eyes widen. “Shit! I forgot to talk to Nina before I left. Damn it, she’s probably worried sick about her job.”

  “It’s too late to call her now. You can call her in the morning. Let’s get some rest.” I run my thumb over his lips and kiss them softly before I burrow in closer to him, ready for sleep. “I love you, Victor.”

  “I love you too, Colby.” I feel his lips on my hair as I’m drifting off to sleep.

  The next morning, I wake to find the spot next to me cold and empty, so I climb out of bed and note that Victor’s shirt, shoes, socks and suit coat are exactly where we left them in a pile on the floor. The only thing missing are the slacks. Pulling on my robe I pad down the hall to find him talking quietly on his cell phone, probably trying not to wake me. I move up behind him and wrap my arms around him, resting my cheek against his bare back.

  “Yeah, I know. Don’t worry about me. I’ll call you in a few days and let you know my plan. You can decide at that point if you want in.” There’s a long pause before his voice quiets even more. “Nina, you are the best assistant anyone could ever have. Thank you.” She must respond and then say goodbye because he hangs up shortly thereafter.

  He shoves his phone in his pocket and turns around to face me, wrapping his arms around me. “That was Nina.”

  “Yeah, I figured.”

  “She quit and walked out right after we did. She said she would’ve left a long time ago if it weren’t for me. Her husband was so happy they went to their local bar and had a few drinks to celebrate. I’m glad they’re happy about it, but I hate that she doesn’t have a job. Whatever I d
o next, I’ll probably take her with me.”

  “That’s a good choice. She seems to take good care of you.”

  “Yeah, she got me through work the first year after Carol died. I barely remember it so I’m sure I was a zombie.”

  “What do you want to do today?”

  “I got a text from Dex saying they need some help at the Veterans Homeless Shelter today, so I’d like to pitch in. Want to join me?”

  “What are we doing?”

  “I have no idea, but if Dex is actually asking for help of any kind, I always say yes because that’s not his style. Besides, Marv, the guy who runs the place, is hilarious.”

  “Count me in.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Victor

  A week has passed since I kissed the firm goodbye and I’ve spent my newfound free time working at the Veterans Homeless Shelter, hanging out with Colby after she gets home from work and contemplating my future. I’m no closer today to knowing what I’ll do than I was the night I quit, but for once I don’t care. I have enough money to live on for quite a while before it becomes an issue and I know for a fact I don’t want a job unless it’s going to make a difference in the world. I was happiest working when I felt like I was making a difference, fighting for our country, taking care of the guys in my team. But I’m too old to go back in the Army, and even if I wasn’t, I don’t want to go back to that. So, I figure the next best thing is a job that changes lives. Just don’t ask me what that’s going to be.

  Tonight though, Diego and Claudia, Dex and Mari, Judson and Quinn, Javier and Valerie, and Colby and I are going to dinner at the nicest steak house in town. We are celebrating Javier being cancer-free for two years.

  The last hour has been spent laughing hysterically and enjoying the awesome company of my friends, who seemed to have pulled Colby into the fold without blinking an eye. She hasn’t stopped smiling and I’m enjoying this relaxed, confident side of her. She fits in with my friends perfectly. It’s as if her personality was created to complement mine or vice versa, and I hate that it took me this many years to find her.

  Colby’s giggling at something Mari said while I pour her another glass of wine when Mr. Hadensbach, of all people, strolls up to the table and stops right behind her, eyes glued to me. I didn’t even see him come into the restaurant, but I pause pouring and set the bottle down beside her glass. No words come to mind as we stare at each other. There are a ton of things I could say to the man, but none of them really matter. Even though he was a giant asshole, I probably owe him a big thank-you. If not for the whole thing at the mixer, I wouldn’t feel as free as I do to start my life over and do it the way I want to.

  “Martinez,” his face is stern as he greets me. I’m sure if he’s been in the restaurant for any amount of time he’s noticed how happy I am.

  “Ralph,” I reply. He won’t get the respectful gesture of me calling him Mr. Hadensbach anymore.

  Instead of offering me his hand to shake he places his hands on his hips like he’s about to scold me. “You left us in a lurch by leaving the way you did.”

  Wow, he’s going to start off with that in a packed restaurant, in front of a table full of watchful eyes. I stay quiet. I did leave them in a lurch, but I don’t feel bad about it. At some point, you have to stand up for the right person. Being a noble human being has to count and I’m that if nothing else.

  I lift my chin and stand tall. “I don’t regret it.”

  Hadensbach’s eyes narrow on me and I decide it’s time to lay it out for him. “Let me give you one piece of advice before you leave me to enjoy my friends. Fire Stanton. That guy is a cancer, and you’ll end up buried in a nasty lawsuit if you don’t. I think you’ve brushed complaints about him under the rug for too long and the pile is getting too big to ignore. For the sake of your firm’s reputation and all the people you employ, especially the women, he needs to go.”

  “You have no right—” Before he can finish that statement, another lawyer I recognize but don’t personally know, comes up behind him with a huge smile on his face. This is Jacob Levenski, the son and second partner in the Levenski and Son firm. Rumor has it that the old man will retire next year, leaving Jacob in charge. They have satellite offices in Denver and in Aurora and are well known all over the country.

  He ignores Ralph and leans in to shake my hand. “You’re Victor Martinez?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “I’m Jacob Levenski of Levenski and Son.”

  “Yes, I’m aware. Nice to meet you.” I smile at him. I’d never tell him, but I’m a little star-struck. He’s a bit of a celebrity around here. Known for fighting the good fight, so to speak.

  “Listen, I heard that you’re currently unemployed and I think you’ll be perfect for the new division we’re opening up. It’s pro bono work with veterans and their families. Can we set up a time to meet next week? I’ll make it worth your while.”

  I glance at Ralph, whose face is so red it looks like he could explode at any moment. The timing on this couldn’t have been more perfect for me if I had arranged it myself.

  “Yes, absolutely. That sounds like something I’d like to discuss further.”

  “Here’s my card. Call me on Monday and we’ll set up a meeting. I’d love to have you at our firm. Your integrity,” he glances back to Ralph with a bit of a scowl on his face and then back to me, “and your reputation proceed you.”

  “Thank you, sir. I’ll give you a call Monday.” I shift the card to my other hand and shake his hand once more before Jacob says, “It was nice meeting you. Enjoy your evening.” Then he fades back into the crowd.

  “I think we’re done here, Ralph. Take care.” I dismiss him by returning to my seat without another word or another look in his direction. Everyone is silently shaking with chuckles as they attempt to hold back full-blown laughter. That was a pretty savage moment. Couldn’t ask for better timing, that’s for certain.

  It’s now Tuesday morning and I’m sitting in front of Jacob Levenski, who insists that I call him Jacob instead of Mr. Levenski, which is already a welcome change from what I’m used to.

  “Victor, with your prior enlistment and your law degree, your résumé fits for the type of job we’re offering, but it’s your character and disposition that we feel blends most with our company culture. I’m passionate about getting this program off the ground. Both my father and I are veterans and we feel it’s important to give back. We are a successful enough firm now that we can implement the type of service we’ve dreamed of providing. Neither of us needs more money than what we have. Our other employees are paid well for what they do and we feel like it’s the right time. Do you feel this is something that will interest you? It may put you in a courtroom more often than you have been previously.”

  “I didn’t mind being in the courtroom for the right reason. I just never wanted to be a defense attorney who defended everyone who came through their door regardless of how likely it was that they did what they were accused of.”

  “Good, I feel the same. Mostly what we’ve been approached with is your specialty, anyway. Estate planning, living wills, that sort of thing. We have occasional situations where the client was taken to the cleaners when they were deployed overseas, came home and couldn’t afford to live because they’re paying the former spouse more than they should in alimony. We’ve also been approached with cases for VA benefits. We’re thinking we review each case that comes our way and only accept the ones we think are good causes. How does this sound to you?”

  I take a deep breath as I contemplate what he’s proposing. It would be nice to come to work and put my time into really making a difference. No longer working to climb a ladder, only working to do the right thing. “Actually, it sounds great.”

  “There would be benefits, a 401K and bonuses. We can hammer out the details in a contract, but I wanted to talk to you about this to see what your feelings are. I know it doesn’t come with the prestige that other positions might bring, but I feel li
ke it could be a great position for someone looking to make a difference, rather than a name for themselves.”

  “You were right to target me because I’m at that point in my life where my focus is on making a difference rather than a name for myself.”

  “Well then, we will get a contract drawn up by the end of the week and emailed over to you. Look it over and let me know what you think.”

  When I leave Jacob’s office I feel content and confident that my life is moving in a direction that I want it to, and I couldn’t be more excited about it.

  It’s been three months since I started the new job and I love it. I’ve only had a few late evenings and those were by choice. It’s nice to be at a job where your hard work is valued and appreciated on a daily basis and you don’t have to deal with assholes like Stanton. Rumor has it he was placed on administrative leave last week. No one is saying why, but I’d bet 100 bucks it has something to do with harassment. Guys like him never change.

  Colby and I haven’t spent one night apart since she got back from her last monster truck show and waking up to her every day has certainly been a welcome change in my life. Today is Carol’s birthday so I’m at the cemetery for the first time in a long time. I used to spend more time here than was necessary and when I look back on it, it seems as if I was trying to make up for all the hours I wasn’t there when she was sick. Only I didn’t put two and two together until now.

  I set the vase of a dozen pink roses—her favorite—on the ground at the foot of the headstone and picture her face when I’d bring them to her when she was alive. Every time it was like the first time I’d given them to her. She would jump up and down, clapping and squealing like a little kid, making me laugh. I always brought them to her myself, except when I was deployed, because I loved her reaction so much.