Heart of Cole

by Micheal Maxwell

  “I hope so, too. Thank you, Jake, you’re a sweetie.”

  “So, you ready to go?” Hanna could swear Jake was blushing.

  “If it’s OK.”

  “Privilege of rank. The guys will do another search, then lock up.”

  “I need to call Cole real quick.”

  “No problem.”

  After filling Cole in on the situation, Hanna went back in the apartment. “Ready to go?”

  Lindsey was standing, looking out the grimy window. She turned and nodded.

  “Anything you need to grab?”

  “Just my backpack, if I can find it.”

  “Need help? I’m pretty good at searches,” Jake said, missing the irony.

  “No, I got it.”

  A couple minutes later Lindsey came up the hall with her backpack in hand. “It was under grandma’s bed. Man, does that room stink.”

  The trio was almost half way to Hanna’s apartment before anyone spoke.

  “Lindsey, how is it that you went to your mom’s apartment?” Hanna asked over her shoulder.

  “I called my grandma. To check on her, you know? I try to call her every day.”

  “I didn’t know,” Hanna interjected.

  “She said mom beat her up. She was in trouble. She wanted to leave.”

  “And you went to help her?” Jake said.

  “When I got there mom was freakin’ out, screaming and hitting my grandma. I tried to stop her and then she hit me, hard. I tried to fight back but…” Lindsey fell silent.

  “It’s OK, I see. I’m just glad you’re alright,” Hanna said softly.

  “Me too,” Jake chimed in.

  Hanna reached over and patted Jakes arm. He smiled and they drove the rest of the way in silence.

  The car pulled up in front of Hanna’s building and Lindsey got out without saying a word.

  “Well, that was quite a lunch date,” Jake joked.

  “It was the most important one I ever had,” Hanna replied.

  “How’s that?”

  “I saw the kind of man you are. And I like it.” Hanna leaned over and gave Jake a kiss on the cheek. “Let’s talk soon.” Hanna got out of the car. She waved as she passed in front of the vehicle.

  Lindsey was leaning against the wall next to the door of Hanna’s apartment when she rounded the corner from the elevator.

  “Are you hungry?”

  “I’m kind of thirsty,” Lindsey answered.

  “Of course. I’m sorry, you must be parched.”

  Once inside, Lindsey went straight to the refrigerator and got a bottle of water.

  “I’ve been thinking. Maybe we should take tomorrow off and just recharge. What do you think?”

  “Won’t I get in trouble for ditching?” Lindsey said sarcastically.

  “I think I can get this one excused.” Hanna smiled and tried her best to show she cared, even though she was torn apart trying to decide if she really did.

  Tomorrow they would just hang out together, try to get reacquainted, see if there was a relationship worth trying to save.

  “Can I watch TV for a while?”

  “Sure, care if I join you?” Hanna replied.

  Lindsey just shrugged.

  Hanna’s cell rang. “Hello.”

  “Hi Hanna, it’s Kelly. I heard you guys had kind of a rough day.”

  Hanna laughed. “You might say that.”

  “I was thinking, how would you and Lindsey like to be my guest at my gym for a sauna and massage tomorrow?”

  “Oh, Kelly, that would be wonderful. Thank you! What time?”

  “Around eleven? You can call me back, and we’ll work out the details. I am totally open, so whatever works best for you.”

  “That is really sweet. Thank you, so much. Let me talk to Lindsey and I’ll call you back”

  Chapter Ten

  “I not so sure about this,” Lindsey said nervously.

  “What’s the matter?” Hanna hit the lock on her car key, the alarm chirped brightly.

  “I’ve never been to a spa. In gym class I always stand against the wall.”

  “You’ll love it! The sauna feels so good. It’s hot and steamy and feels like it cleans you to your bones.”

  “Do I have to get naked?”

  “Well, kind of, but you’re wrapped in a towel.” Hanna tried to reassure her.

  “Where do you shower?”

  “There is a shower room. But I’m sure it will have curtain. Is that what you’re worried about?”

  “I don’t like to get naked. I’ve have some bad times without clothes.” Lindsey was unusually subdued.

  “If you’d rather not…”

  “No, it’s OK, if there’s towels and stuff.

  “You will really like the massage. It is so relaxing. I’ve actually fallen asleep. It’s like all the tension and worries in your life just fade away.”

  Hanna opened the door to the gym and let Lindsey enter first.

  “There you are!” Kelly called.

  “Is that Cole’s lady?”

  “Yeah.”

  “She’s beautiful,” Lindsey whispered.

  “Sure is.”

  Kelly crossed the room and join Hanna and Lindsey. “So nice to finally meet you, Lindsey. Cole brags about you all the time. I guess you’re quite a writer.”

  “I try.”

  “My friend, Claire, is going to join us,” Kelly announced. “I bumped into her on the way in. I hope you don’t mind. She doesn’t have many friends; I thought it might be nice to introduce you.

  “That’s fine. More the merrier.” Hanna smiled and nodded.

  Lindsey looked at Hanna, but didn’t respond.

  In the dressing room, Kelly introduced Hanna and Lindsey to Claire. She was already undressed and wrapped in a towel. Her reception was a bit cold. She shook hands with Hanna without smiling, and glared at Lindsey.

  “I’ll go on ahead. I’m on a tight schedule. I have to get back to work.” Claire said as she walked away.

  “You work on Saturday?” Hanna asked.

  “To be successful, yes,” Claire replied in a condescending tone, then turned and walked away.

  “I can see why she doesn’t have many friends,” Lindsey whispered.

  “Right,” Kelly agreed.

  “We’ll just be nice as we can and enjoy each other’s company.” Hanna smiled.

  Kelly showed Hanna and Lindsey to their lockers and got them two towels each.

  “My locker is just around there.” Kelly pointed. “When you’re ready just come on over.”

  Lindsey opened the locker and used the door to partially block Hanna’s view as she changed. Hanna was surprised how quickly she got undressed. In her towel Lindsey was bone thin, and showed the deep purple bruises of the beating her mother gave her. She stood quietly looking around as Hanna undressed.

  “If these towels were much smaller, I’ll need to go on a diet,” Hanna teased.

  “It’s your boobs. I don’t have hardly any so the towel wraps around nearly twice.”

  “You’re very generous!”

  “You’re very nicely… I mean, you look good. You don’t need to go on a diet.”

  “Thank you.” Hanna smiled and accepted the compliment. “What do you say we go get sweaty?”

  As they stepped into the steam room, Lindsey’s eye’s opened wide and her head jerked. “It’s hotter’n hell in here. Why are we doing this again?”

  “Makes our skin pretty,” Kelly offered. “Get’s all the gunk out of our pores, and makes us glow!”

  “If you say so.” Lindsey didn’t seem convinced.

  Hanna took a seat on the bench next to Claire, and Lindsey took a seat with Kelly across from them. They were the only ones in the steam room.

  Claire looked across at Lindsey’s hairy legs and sneered. Lindsey didn’t notice…but Kelly did. Claire was in a mood, dark and unpleasant. Kelly already regretted inviting her to join the group.

  “So, are you one of th
ose organic, vegan, earth mother, hippie chicks?”

  “Who, me?” Lindsey replied.

  “If the hair on your legs gets much longer you be able to braid it.” Claire pressed.

  “Men don’t like it.” Lindsey glared back at Claire. “They don’t like this either.”

  Lindsey raised her arms above her head showing unshaven armpits.

  “And girls do?” Claire snapped.

  “I’m not into girls!” Lindsey snapped. “So you’d know better than I.”

  Fearing Lindsey’s next move, Hanna changed the subject. “What do you do, Claire?”

  “I am a project marketing analyst, for Bio-Therapeutics.”

  “Here in the city?”

  “Yeah, we’re in the Market Center.”

  “What’s a project marketing analyst do?” Lindsey injected.

  Claire gave Lindsey a harsh look. “I am currently working with a new form of Methylphenidate, it’s stronger, and seems more effective.”

  Hanna and Kelly looked at each other confirming neither one knew what Methylphenidate was.

  “So you want to pump more Ritalin into kids so they can be junkies later?” Lindsey’s tone and demeanor proved her willingness to go head-to-head with the unpleasant adult.

  “Seems some kids should be taking it now,” Claire replied sarcastically.

  “They tried it. Thing is, I could read the warnings.” Lindsey wiped her forehead.

  “I wondered how you knew what Methyl… whatever it is…was.” Kelly’s tone was bright and cheerful.

  “What do you do, Hanna?” Claire asked.

  “I work for Kelly’s fiancé, I’m his administrative assistant.”

  Claire neither commented nor responded but just stared at the floor. The door opened and a heavy woman in a terrycloth robe came in the sauna. She approached the bench and stood facing Lindsey.

  “Can you scoot down a smidge, sweetie?”

  Kelly moved first, then Lindsey moved toward her.

  The terrycloth robe dropped to the floor, revealing roll upon roll of milky white flesh. Lindsey closed her eyes and shuddered as the woman sat down and her cool, clammy flesh pressed against her side.

  “I’m about ready for my massage. How ‘bout you guys?” Kelly stood and adjusted her towel.

  “I’m with you, Kelly. Wait for me.” Claire stood, opened her towel and smiled at Kelly before she covered herself and tucked in the corner.

  Hanna grinned with embarrassment and moved toward the door.

  Lindsey jumped up and was out the door without saying a word.

  The massage room was fitted with eight tables. Four were arranged especially for Kelly’s group. The heads of the tables faced each other making conversation easier. Four women stood at the ready, next to small tables each with several bottles.

  “Senjah is my favorite,” Kelly said moving toward a pretty Indian woman of about twenty.

  “I have no preference.” Claire moved to the table that faced Kelly.

  Hanna and Lindsey stood looking at each other. Neither moved.

  “Little one, you come I give you nice massage.” A small South East Asian woman offered.

  Lindsey climbed up on the table next to Kelly.

  Without speaking, Hanna layed down on the table next to Claire. The masseuse did not speak.

  Several minutes passed before anyone said a word. Finally, Kelly turned to Lindsey. “So what do you think Lindsey?”

  “Feels really good. I didn’t think I would like somebody rubbing around on me. But, it’s not what I thought.”

  “I told you you’d like it.” Hanna said softly, obviously enjoying the experience.

  “I like the deep tissue, right Senjah?”

  The masseuse laughed. “You’re a glutton for punishment, Kelly.”

  “I don’t think I have any deep tissue.” Lindsey giggled.

  “You’re a funny girl,” Lindsey’s masseuse added.

  “I like peace and quiet,” Claire mumbled.

  “You’re a real grouch today, Claire. What’s going on?”

  “I just like things a certain way.”

  “Your way?” Lindsey said into the face hole in the table.

  “The adults are trying to talk here,” Claire snapped.

  “Who put the bug up your ass? You’ve been giving me shit since I got here.”

  “Lindsey!” Hanna turned and let the girl know her displeasure.

  “I can see that this blend isn’t the best. Let’s just enjoy our message without visiting.” Kelly pleaded.

  The small dark woman stopped massaging Lindsey, and bent down and whispered in her ear, “You a tiger. You my kind of girl.”

  Lindsey let out a near soundless giggle.

  The only sounds made the rest of the time were the grunts and groans brought on by the increase in pressure from the masseuses.

  Relaxed, dressed, and standing outside of the gym, Kelly stopped to have a few words with Lindsey and Hanna.

  “Lindsey, I am so sorry about Claire. Please forgive me. I had no idea she would be so nasty.”

  “Not your fault.”

  “But I feel responsible. I invited her to join us. I hope it didn’t spoil your good time.

  “I’m cool. But, she’s not going to live long if she talks to everybody like that.”

  Kelly gave Lindsey a quick hug. “Next time, it’s just us. I promise.”

  “That would be good. I learned a long time ago with my mom: you can’t do anything about what other people say or do.”

  “You’re a pretty smart girl.” Kelly patted her cheek. “See you soon.”

  “And Cole’s a lucky guy to have someone like you.”

  As they said their good-byes, Claire brushed passed the women without speaking. She got in a silver BMW several spaces from where the women stood.

  “How’d she get that space?” Kelly pointed as Claire pulled away.

  “Dumb luck,” Hanna laughed.

  “You got the dumb part right,” Lindsey scoffed.

  “Lindsey!” Hanna scolded.

  Kelly laughed and shook her head. “I know I shouldn’t laugh but, my goodness, she was really something today.”

  “How did you two become friends?” Hanna asked.

  We had a pilates class together and she kind of reached out to me. I keep trying to get her to sweeten up, but she seems to just suck on lemons all the time. It’s kind of sad to see somebody miserable all the time.”

  “I think I would get tired of it,” Hanna replied.

  “I’m getting there.” Kelly smiled and raised her eyebrows. “You two have a pleasant evening. So nice to get to know you better Lindsey. I hope to see you again soon.”

  “You too. Where are you parked?”

  “In the garage around the corner. You?”

  “Just up the street. See you later. Thanks again.”

  “My pleasure.”

  The women parted company and made their way to their respective cars.

  Hanna pulled away from the curb and turned up the radio. “I love this song.” She hummed and sang along until “River Deep Mountain High” ended.

  Lindsey looked out the window. They drove along for several minutes then Hanna broke the silence. “Wasn’t that nice?”

  “What part?”

  “I don’t know…everything.”

  “Yeah, great, except for that bitch Claire, and the way she was hitting on Kelly.”

  “You think?” Hanna was shocked at Lindsey’s response.

  “Oh, Hanna.” Lindsey shook her head, the mother-daughter roles suddenly reversed.

  “What?”

  “You are such a cloud dweller.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “I’m not being mean, but geez, you are so naive. Your head’s in the clouds, always trying see the good, and ignoring the shit in front of your face.”

  “OK, smarty, how do you know she was hitting on her?”

  “Oh, I don’t know…the way she flashed her boobs
in Kelly’s face for one thing. You wouldn’t believe the number of dykes that have tried to turn me. It was part of my mother’s Use-My-Kid-for-the-Day Program. Fifty bucks and my little cutie is yours till sundown.”

  “Oh, Lindsey.” Hanna was holding back tears.

  When I got older it didn’t work so well. I learned to kick and gouge at eyes really good. But on the street, it got worse.”

  “How so?”

  “My butch hair, probably? I dunno.”

  I’ve always wanted to ask why you wore it so short, but was afraid to ask for fear of hurting your feelings, or offending you.”

  “Like Claire with her braided leg hair crack? Bitch.”

  “That was really rude, but you handled yourself well.”

  “Lots of practice,” Lindsey replied. “Once my mom chopped off a big chunk of my hair when I was sleeping on the couch. Right down to the scalp.”

  “Why?” Hanna exclaimed in horror.

  “She must have thought I was getting too pretty, I suppose. She got mad because Stevie was paying too much attention to me, or something. She wasn’t having any of it. So she tried to ugly me up a bit.”

  “Wow. Was he?

  “Who knows? He liked to talk dirty to me. Must have turned him on or something. I just thought he was gross.”

  “Where was your grandma during all this? I mean did she ever speak up?”

  “Oh, hell no. They would have knocked her head off.”

  “How does a kid protect themselves from all that?”

  “Well, I did her one better: I chopped all my hair off.” Lindsey made scissors cutting with her index and middle fingers. “Then, as it grew back, I realized I liked it. Wash-and-wear hair, you know? No effort and no time needed. Just wash and go…or not.” Lindsey gave a so-it-goes shrug.

  “You are really something, Lindsey Frost.”

  “The question is…what?” Lindsey quipped.

  They both laughed as they rode along listening to the radio, heading for home.

  A wave of guilt swept over Hanna. What had this poor child endured at the hands of a mother who should have loved and protected her? How could she become so angry so quickly with someone with scars so deep? Lindsey’s peculiar set of values, her strength, her skill for self-preservation—these “qualities” were a world far removed from Hanna’s own experience.