Heart of Cole

by Micheal Maxwell

  The mother who verbally abused Hanna, was cruel, and made her life hell from the time she entered school, until she fled at sixteen, but in her wildest imaginings, Hanna knew that her mother would never have beat her, or sold her body to the highest bidder. The terror and sexual abuse that Lindsey grew up thinking it was “just the way things are” would have been criminal and totally repugnant even to Hanna’s abusive alcoholic mother.

  As they drove home in the bright afternoon sun, the radio blasting away, Hanna promised herself to not let Lindsey push her buttons. She knew even with compassion, and a desire to understand Lindsey, the girl would once again push all of her buttons. It was just a matter of time.

  “Good Morning. How was your long weekend? Has everything settled down on the home front?” Cole asked.

  “Thanks to Kelly for inviting us to the spa. It kind of helped in the bonding department.”

  “She said it got mixed reviews.”

  “Yeah, it was OK. Her friend Claire is a real piece of work.

  “I heard, sorry.” Cole gave an exaggerated grimace. “Other than that?”

  “I kept Lindsey on a short leash. Tried to make the weekend fun. Jake came for dinner Saturday night, and we all went for pizza yesterday afternoon.”

  “He stayed over?” Cole said in mock shock.

  “He most certainly did not!”

  “Just wondering.”

  “Then, last night we watched some awful slasher movie, Lindsey’s choice, not mine. I think she might be coming around. I’ll tell you though, she is as prickly as a prickly pear.”

  “Maybe it’s just going to take time.”

  “Exactly. How was your weekend?”

  Cole laughed happily. “Mine was nice too. It started out a little rough, but we got through it.”

  “That’s a naughty smile.” Hanna teased.

  “Just hold that thought for a moment!” Cole grinned and ducked into his office.

  “Cole, a courier envelope came while you were out.” Hanna reached into her drawer.

  “Thanks,” Cole said taking the envelope. “Ah, I’ve been waiting for this. Cool.”

  Now, how would Kelly do this? Cole thought as he tore the zip tab on the envelope. He dumped the contents on the top of his desk as he sat down, and for a long moment stared at the two airline tickets. His mind drifted back to a hot, steamy Mexican restaurant in southern California. In his mind’s eye, he could see Anthony “Whisper” Perez sitting across from him.

  “I was thinking,” Whisper said ages ago, “the extra money from the diamonds, what if we called it a scholarship? And named it after your lady, Ellie? Could we do that?”

  Cole remembered staring at Whisper, emotion welling up. That day Anthony Perez was reborn. Cole felt a pride and honor like he never knew before. This skinny little street hustler, who wanted out of gang life and to be a writer, wanted to pay tribute to Ellie. It was the best gift he was ever given. She would have been so proud.

  “I think,” Cole told the young man, “there could be no finer honor in this life than if that happened.”

  He reached up and brushed the tears from his eyes.

  “Everything you do, everything you achieve, everything you accomplish in life will be Ellie living on in some way,” Perez said. “It is a beautiful thing, my friend. A beautiful thing.”

  Anthony Perez, MA, had just received his first byline in the Atlanta Journal Constitution last month. He is a journalist, a man of honor, truthful, and hopefully part of the new generation of journalists who would stand up for what was right, and give the people the kind of truth the First Amendment was written to protect.

  Today, however, back in the Bay Area, two tickets lay on his desk purchased with the funds from Ellie’s scholarship. Lindsey Frost hopefully, was going to fly across the country on wings paid for by Ellie’s memory.

  Cole swallowed hard and smiled at the memory. Ellie’s memory was tucked in a very special place in his heart. It was his to keep. From time to time, less and less often now, he would go there and just bask in the glow of what was. Now his heart was filled with his daughter, Erin, and her family. Cole smiled at the picture of them on his desk. Then, there was Kelly. As much as he loved and cherished her, it was not like the love he felt for Ellie. Even so, he wouldn’t dare to dream of asking for anything different. Kelly was now. Cole sighed deeply.

  “Hanna?” Cole cleared the lump from his throat, “Can you come here a second?”

  “Be right there.”

  He quickly tucked one of the tickets into an envelope in his desk drawer. Hanna appeared in the door a minute or so later.

  “Do you remember me telling you about Erin’s mom?” Cole asked.

  “Of course.”

  “After she died I set up a scholarship in her name. Actually it was Anthony’s idea.”

  “Really?” Hanna was genuinely surprised.

  “Yes. Now, It might be a little premature, but I’ve got a really good feeling about this test of Lindsey’s.”

  “I don’t follow.” Hanna said.

  “Lindsey and passing the test, I mean.” Cole clarified. “I bought this with money from the scholarship for Lindsey.” Cole handed Hanna the airline ticket.

  “How wonderful!” Hanna squealed. “You really think she’ll do well?”

  “Yeah, if she doesn’t totally blow it off. They’re refundable if she does.” Cole shrugged and gave Hanna a grin.

  “I’ve been stewing about this since last Saturday: if she gets the scholarship I didn’t know where the money would come from! She is going to be so thrilled. Cole, that is so amazing.”

  “And this,” Cole reached in his desk drawer and took out an envelope, “is to help her out with stuff, for settling in and personal stuff, you know?” He took a check from the envelope and handed it to Hanna.

  “You are too much, Mr. Sage! Why didn’t you say something?”

  “I like surprises.” Cole grinned.

  “I’ll go call Lindsey,” Hanna said excitedly, rushing back to her desk.

  “How ‘bout you wait until we see if she passed.” Cole was almost wishing he had waited before springing this on Hanna.

  “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

  “Oh, one more thing…” Cole said, in his best back to business tone.

  “What’s that?” Hanna stepped back into the office,

  Cole stood and rounded his desk to face Hanna. “We can’t have a minor cross the country by herself. So, I got this for you.” Cole handed Hanna the envelope.

  “What’s this?”

  “I figured she needed a chaperone. So tag, you’re it.” Cole smiled and handed her the other ticket.

  Hanna threw her hand over her mouth and tears ran down her cheeks. She pushed her glasses up on top of her head and wiped her eyes. “I am speechless. Thank you, thank you. Oh, Cole!” Hanna threw her arms around Cole’s neck and gave him a tight squeeze.

  “Alright, alright, none of that, Ms. Day. It’s off to work you go,” Cole said, more than a little embarrassed by the outburst of affection.

  “Yes, sir,” Hanna said sheepishly, knowing she crossed the invisible gulf between boss and secretary. “Sorry.”

  “Hanna, I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Cole said. “Thank you, for me, and for Lindsey.”

  For the next few minutes Cole sat quietly, pleasantly digesting Hanna’s reaction to his surprise.

  “Alright, that’s it for today! Remember, the question isn’t who’s going to let you, it’s who is going to stop you! Go out and make a difference!” The instructor released the Tae Bo class.

  Kelly wiped the sweat from her face with a terrycloth towel. It seemed the workouts she did three times a week weren’t getting any easier. She questioned the level of class that she was hanging onto so tightly. The other women in the group were all at least twenty years younger than she. Maybe it’s time to join the older group, Kelly thought.

  “Wow, that was a butt burner,” Claire puffed.


  “Yeah. I think I may need to downshift to the older group. This doesn’t feel good anymore. I think it is starting to affect my joints.”

  “Don’t smoke so many then.”

  “Huh?” Kelly was too winded to get the humor in Claire’s remark.

  “Nothing.”

  As the class made their way out of the workout room, Claire stayed a couple of steps behind Kelly. Claire’s eyes never left Kelly’s long legs and taut backside.

  “Why doesn’t my ass look like yours?” Claire asked.

  “Genetics, my whole family is long and lean,” Kelly replied, wiping the back of her neck. “What’s yours like?”

  “I don’t know. I was adopted.”

  “You’ll have to tell me the story sometime.” Kelly showed real interest in her friend’s background.

  Five minutes later, Kelly returned to her locker from the showers wrapped in an oversized, plush white towel. The class was gone, the locker room was silent. It wasn’t unusual, on Fridays a lot of the women just grabbed their stuff and rushed for home. Claire sat on the bench in front of the lockers completely naked.

  “There you are.” Claire turned to face Kelly.

  There was something strange in Claire’s demeanor, and her nudity made Kelly uncomfortable. Kelly opened her locker and tried to shield herself with the door. She quickly pulled on her bra and panties.

  “I’ve been waiting to talk to you,” Claire said, a little above a whisper.

  “Oh?” Kelly continued to dress.

  “Did you like my poem?”

  Kelly’s ears seemed to burn with Claire’s words. She felt like she was hit in the gut. As she reached for her blouse her hand trembled. Breathe, she thought, breathe.

  “Well?” Claire pressed.

  “I can’t say that I did,” Kelly said into her locker.

  “Why not?” Claire’s voice showed signs of repressed anger.

  “Because, I am a woman who likes men. I have no interest in women in a sexual context. I am, as they say, straight.” Kelly steeled herself as she turned to look at Claire.

  “Oh, I’m not a lesbian or anything like that! Heavens! I just love you.”

  “Excuse me if I don’t see the distinction. I think we have different goals in life. Mine does not include anyone but my fiancé, my kids, and grandkids. So, I think it best if you and I part ways.” The harshness of Kelly’s answer surprised her, but it didn’t have the same effect on Claire.

  “Oh, don’t be a fuddy-duddy,” Claire continued. “I knew it the first time I saw you. You were the perfect partner for me. I will write my detective novels to support us. I know how to get inside the head of a killer, tell the story like they see it. My book will be bestsellers! We can have a wonderful life together.” Claire did not seem to register Kelly’s rejection.

  “Let me put this another way…” Kelly slammed the locker door. “Get lost. Go away. Forget you know me because I fully intend to forget you as quickly as possible. The idea of a continued association with you repulses me. You, sitting there, naked, thinking that’s attractive, or a turn-on, or whatever you’re thinking, disgusts me. And, hey, I’m sorry it turned out like this. I liked you.”

  Kelly began stuffing her towel and workout clothes in her bag. Her movements were fast and angry.

  “My turn,” Claire began slowly like a dirge. “I won’t go away. I was lost until I met you. I cannot forget you. It’s impossible, and here’s the thing: if I can’t have you, no one will.”

  Kelly’s eye’s flashed with rage. “What is that supposed to mean!”

  Claire lowered her voice. “That I will kill you.”

  “What did you say?” Kelly turned to face Claire who was pulling on a pair of sweat pants. She wasn’t sure she heard Claire’s threat correctly.

  Claire muttered something Kelly couldn’t understand. Claire reached for a 49er sweatshirt and pulled it over her head. Again, her words were inaudible.

  “I think you are getting all worked up over nothing, Kelly,” Claire said suddenly complacent. “Please sit down. Let’s talk about this. I have money saved, quite a bit of it, I have a great apartment and you can see the Golden Gate from the deck. I have everything you could ever want.”

  “Except a rational mind. Claire, you need help. I have a wonderful life, and a wonderful family. You have been a nice friend up until now. I guess I should be flattered, but I’m not. Cole told me if one of the girls made advances toward me to politely refuse, say ‘I’m straight’ and that would be the end of it. You…you are something else. I don’t know what, but I want none of it. Goodbye.”

  Kelly picked up her bag, made a beeline for the exit and didn’t look back.

  “Hey, what are you doing here? I thought you had a big day planned.” Cole smiled and stood up, surprised by Kelly Mitchell’s appearance in his doorway.

  “I just needed to see you.” Kelly’s voice betrayed her emotions.

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa, what’s all this?” Cole rounded the desk and closed the door behind Kelly. He took her shoulders and turned her toward him. Her chin trembled, and tears streamed down her face. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

  “Just hold me for a minute.” Kelly pressed her face into Cole’s broad shoulder.

  They stood quietly. Kelly cried softly. Cole stood arms around her, worrying in silence. When Kelly moved away from Cole’s embrace several minutes later, she smiled up at him in embarrassment.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “No need to be sorry, but what in the world has happened?” Cole asked, reassuringly.

  “You know my friend, Claire?”

  “I think so. The gal from the gym?”

  “Yes. She told me she loved me and wanted us to be together forever.”

  “Well, that’s a little awkward.”

  “I reacted badly. I was so shocked that I said mean things. I…I was so shocked. Claire wrote the poem, she took the picture, she put the rose in my locker. It’s like I have a stalker! She said she wasn’t, you know, a lesbian. She said she just loved me. I freaked out, Cole.”

  “So how did you leave it with her? You didn’t punch her out, did you?” Cole tried his best to lighten the mood a bit.

  “Don’t be ridiculous. Of course not!” Kelly took another step back. “Your advice didn’t work. She just wouldn’t let up. So, I shoved my stuff in my bag and ran. I’m never going back there again, Cole, never.”

  “Look, as strong and straight forward as I’m sure you were, I doubt if you’ll ever hear from her again.” Cole stepped forward, kissed Kelly on the cheek and embraced her again.

  “I’ve never encountered anything thing like that in my life. She was so creepy. Not like you said it would be. I said I wasn’t interested, and she just got more persistent. I was so uncomfortable. Then, she said something about If she couldn’t have me no one could. It was so scary, Cole.”

  “I’m so sorry. Are you sure she threatened you? I mean, are you certain that’s what she said?”

  “A lot of it was mumbling but, yes, that was what she said.” Kelly’s eyes were full of fear.

  “We should call the police. This needs to be reported.” Cole was concerned with the strange turn of events.

  “No, that’s silly. She was angry. She has a real temper. I saw her go off on a poor girl in the coffee shop the other day. I’m sure it was just Rejection talking, but it was so weird. The whole thing was like nothing I had ever experienced, ever.”

  They both stood silently for a long moment. Cole reached out and took Kelly’s hand. He felt helpless, and tried to find the right words.

  “Carlos was gay,” Kelly began. “We were friends. You were friends with him. You know lots of gay people. Do they hit on you?”

  “Nope. Never. I think Claire might have other issues. If she wasn’t attracted to the same sex in general, just you in particular, that strikes me as kind of, I don’t know…” Cole’s voice trailed off into thought.

  “Was I wrong to do what I did?” Kelly looked
directly into Cole’s eyes.

  “If you felt harassed, pressured, or threatened in some way, no. Advances from anyone, male or female, gay or straight, should end once they are rejected. If they continue, especially from a superior, then that is what sexual harassment is. I think you did what you felt was necessary. I’m good with that.” Cole ached to see Kelly so upset.

  Cole pulled out the chair in front of his desk and motioned for Kelly to sit down.

  “How ‘bout you spend the rest of the day here with me? Maybe I can steal a kiss or two along the way.” Cole smiled broadly.

  “Won’t I be in the way?” Kelly said softly.

  “I hope so.” Cole grinned. “I’m supposed to help Lindsey with her homework and give her some writing tutoring. You can sit with us. You can be a great help if she has math homework.”

  “I’d like that.”

  “Good. I hate math. Hanna will go and pick her up in a few minutes.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Cole really didn’t get much work done. He chatted with Kelly, talked about going to dinner, and defended his messy office. Kelly, for the most part, sat quietly and watched Cole shuffle through his notes, type, and take a few calls.

  “Is this what you do all day?” Kelly asked after about an hour.

  “No. When I don’t have a beautiful distraction, I do nothing but think about her,” Cole teased.

  “When will Hanna be back?”

  “She should have been back about thirty minutes ago,” Cole said, looking at the clock on the wall.

  It was another fifteen minutes before Hanna returned.

  “She stood me up.” Hanna’s voice came from the doorway.

  “What?”

  “She was nowhere to be found.” Hanna was obviously peeved.

  “That’s not good,” Cole offered.

  “No. Now, that’s twice. I’ve about had it.”

  “Why haven’t you said anything?”

  “I kept thinking it was me. I know nothing about teenagers. Lindsey has been a royal pain in the ass all week. She snaps at me, slams doors, and disappears. Arrgh!” Hanna threw her hands in the air.