To Live Again (Learning to live again, #1)

by Dori Lavelle

  Kelsey blushed and bit her lip. She had hoped not many people would recognize her here in Dreara. But all the women—except Maeve—nearly snapped their necks turning to stare.

  The woman with the missing tooth gawked. "Yes, of course it's her. I saw her in the paper a while back. Something about—"

  "Done." Maeve removed her client's styling cape and swiveled the salon chair around to face the large mirror, then she turned to the rest of them. "Yes, this is Kelsey O'Neil. Now stop staring at her as if she's some zoo animal. Kelsey, come on. I'm ready for you."

  Relieved, Kelsey slid the magazine into her handbag and stood up. The small hairs on the back of her neck stirred as the women's gazes followed her.

  "Thanks," she whispered to Maeve as she sat down.

  "Don't worry about it." Maeve released Kelsey's hair from its ponytail, allowing the bouncing curls to cascade past her shoulders and down her back. "Now, do you want a subtle change or a drastic one?"

  Soft curls encircled Kelsey's fingers as she ran her hands through her hair. She had often been tempted to have it cut, wondering how she would look in one of those cute bobs, but she was never brave enough. Dropping her hand to her lap, she mentally crossed her fingers and said, "drastic."

  Maeve reached for a brush and ran it through Kelsey's hair, section by section. "Good decision. I know the perfect style for you."

  "I hope so." Kelsey bit her bottom lip.

  "Don't worry. Getting a haircut is like having an emotional makeover. This is your last chance to say no."

  "Just promise to make me beautiful."

  Maeve patted Kelsey's shoulder. "I'll do better than that."

  Maeve brought her to a chair in front of a sink and told her to lean back. A jet of warm water flooded Kelsey's hair and scalp, and she closed her eyes. To keep herself from questioning the decision she'd just made, she followed the foamy traces Maeve's hands made along her scalp and fell into a half sleep.

  From a distance, she heard the muffled sounds of gossip and breathed in the scent of the refreshing shampoo.

  After a few minutes, Maeve moved her to the styling station and reached for the scissors.

  The snip of the scissors made Kelsey cringe. She imagined locks of her hair falling like parachutes to the floor. In the end, she closed her eyes again and placed her trust completely in Maeve's hands.

  Soon the cut was done, and the warm blast of air from the hairdryer woke up every cell of her body that was still half asleep. But she kept her eyes closed, in case what she saw made her panic.

  "Feels good, doesn't it?" Maeve asked.

  "Like therapy."

  "That's the second role of a hairdresser. We’re also therapists," Maeve whispered into Kelsey's ear. "So, have you made any moves on him yet?"

  Kelsey laughed. "I never planned to," she whispered back, but she couldn't deny the little flame inside her.

  "Wait till he sees you. He'll be the one making the first move." Maeve whirled her around. "Old Kelsey, meet new Kelsey."

  Kelsey opened her eyes and did an inward double-take.

  "What do you think?"

  "I... I—wow..." Kelsey stared into the mirror, too stunned to say more. Her hair fell forward and stroked her cheeks. She had never seen it so straight or silky before.

  "Woman, speak. I know you love it."

  "I do. It's fun and fresh and feminine—just what I wanted. I love it." Kelsey moved her head from side to side and her locks swished wonderfully. "I feel like a new person already. Maeve, thank you."

  ***

  In the spirit of trying out new things, Kelsey decided she would cook her first meal from scratch.

  Since childhood, she had been fascinated by cooking. It all started when her father used to send her to the kitchen as punishment when she misbehaved. After a few months, she looked forward to those punishments. For a while she helped Maria out with the little things—cutting onions or peeling potatoes. Then her father found out and banned her from the kitchen.

  Aidan O'Neil had been disappointed when it dawned on him that his daughter would rather stand behind a stove than focus on her schoolwork. He didn't want her to be a cook, and didn't understand why she would want to be one if she could pay someone to do it for her.

  But the more he denied her the pleasure of being in the kitchen, the more her dream flourished. When he wasn't around, she sneaked right back in to watch Maria.

  The grocery store, with its thatched roof, big glass windows, and fluorescent lighting, was a great combination of old and new. As she walked in, she withdrew the magazine from her bag; there was a particularly delicious-sounding lasagna recipe inside. It took ten minutes to find all the things she needed.

  At home, she laid out the ingredients on the kitchen table and read through the recipe. "This can't be too hard," she said out loud, tracing her index finger down the page.

  It wasn't. Not really. She cut her finger a little when she sliced the onions, but she didn't give up. She followed the instructions to the last pinch of salt and placed the lid on the pot of sauce. The hardest part was over. The only thing left to be done was remove the sauce from the hot plate and layer the dish for the oven.

  Her phone rang. It was Delia, wanting to find out how the makeover went.

  Kelsey checked on the sauce, then went upstairs with the phone glued to her ear.

  Chapter Eight

  Shaun had just completed a chapter and looked up, stretching his arms.

  Thick smoke was curling out of Kelsey's kitchen window.

  "What the hell?" Without a second thought, he shot out of his chair and darted out of the house into the drizzle, a rush of adrenaline pumping through his veins as it used to a long time ago at any sign of a fire. By the time he reached her door, fear had twisted itself around his heart. He rang the bell once. When there was no answer, he tried the door handle. It was unlocked.

  He raced straight to the kitchen. Fortunately, there was no sign of fire apart from the burning pot on the stove. Coughing, he turned off the stove and threw the charred pot into the sink. Then he went to search for Kelsey.

  He found her in the bedroom, fast asleep. A cooking magazine lay open on the bed next to her.

  She must have sensed someone was in the room, because just as he was about to wake her, her eyes flew open and she jumped up. "Shaun, what... why are you here?"

  Shaun threw the windows open. "You left the stove on."

  Eyes widening, Kelsey dashed out of the room and down the stairs, Shaun at her heels.

  "What in the world were you cooking?" He wrinkled his brow.

  Kelsey grimaced at the ruined pot and its contents. "Sauce for lasagna. I totally forgot about it. Oh my God, I could have burned down Brian's cottage."

  "Are you sure you didn't do it on purpose?" Shaun teased her in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere.

  "What?"

  He tried again. "Could it be that you wanted to get me over here so I could see your new hairstyle?"

  Kelsey touched her hair. She blushed and the beginning of a smile tipped the corners of her mouth. "Very funny."

  He studied her for a moment, then removed the pot from the sink. "I'll throw this away for you. Looks as if you were cooking the pot instead of the lasagna sauce."

  That made her laugh. Amidst the smoke, her laughter was like a fresh helping of oxygen.

  As they walked toward the front door, Shaun breathed in deeply and toyed with a thought that could end up getting him in trouble. But before he could make up his mind, his mouth spoke for him. "I'm having dinner at The Hot Pot tonight. Since you've burned your food, maybe you should join me."

  Kelsey's lips twitched. "I... Yes, I think that's a good idea."

  "Shit," Shaun muttered as he opened the door and stepped outside. Why did he have to do that? Spending time with her during the tour of Dreara had already messed him up. The last thing he wanted was for her to think he'd asked her out on a date. But he just couldn't convince himself to call it off.


  ***

  The restaurant was furnished with mahogany tables and chairs, and cream lace curtains. Vases filled with violets lit up the dining area. The whole place smelled of wine and cooking food, and cello music played in the background.

  A gray-haired older woman wearing a white blouse and a black pleated skirt sped toward them, beaming. She stretched her hand out to Kelsey. "Welcome to The Hot Pot." The warmth of her smile was reflected in her voice. Then she turned to Shaun. "It's lovely to see you again, Shaun. I hope you're still enjoying Dreara. I hope you plan to stay for a while longer, now that you have a new friend."

  Shaun and Kelsey exchanged glances and smiled. She liked his smile. His teeth were so straight and white.

  "I definitely intend to." Shaun's eyes didn't leave Kelsey's.

  "I'm glad to hear that. Let me show you to your table." She gestured for them to follow her. "What's your name, dear?"

  "Kelsey."

  "Kelsey," she repeated, the letters rolling across her tongue as if she were tasting them. "What a lovely name. I'm Lucy." She halted in front of a table next to a large potted plant, and while they sat down, she went to hang up their coats. She returned with a menu card, which she handed to Kelsey before disappearing again.

  "The usual for me, Lucy," Shaun said when Lucy came back.

  He must be a regular, Kelsey thought.

  "Can't get enough, love?" Lucy let out a silvery laugh and without waiting for an answer, she moved her attention to Kelsey. "Have you decided what you're having, dear?"

  Kelsey gazed up from her menu. "I'll have the pasta with bacon and broccoli, and a glass of fizzy mineral water."

  "Good choice." Lucy nodded and went to the kitchen to get their orders filled.

  "She seems nice." Kelsey spread her napkin out on her lap.

  "Yes, she is. I like eating here because she's one of the few people who don't try to extract information out of me for distribution to the rest of Dreara."

  Kelsey was tempted to ask if the information he was hiding was worth distributing, but she bit her tongue. The worst thing would be for him to think she had the same intention of getting him to reveal his secrets. But she had to admit she was curious. After Maeve mentioned in passing that he wrote under the name Justin Wood, Kelsey had bought his book in Limmery and read it. It had been a really enjoyable read, but it seemed to be all fiction. Even a search about him online yielded no results apart from the fact that he was an international bestselling author.

  Shaun was served a shoulder of lamb in a pastry dish. For a while Kelsey envied the rich smell and wished she'd ordered the same. But when her food was placed in front of her, she changed her mind. Her own meal looked just as delicious.

  At first they ate in silence. Then Shaun put down his fork and knife and eyed her for a long time.

  "What?" Kelsey asked, taking a sip of her mineral water.

  "Nothing," he said. "I was just trying to guess who you really are, but I'm stumped. So tell me, what do you do for a living?" he asked with genuine interest on his face.

  Before answering, Kelsey swallowed the food in her mouth and drank more water. "Before coming here, I was employed as chief financial officer at Glocal COM."

  Shaun straightened up. "Fascinating. So, you studied... something to do with numbers?" He cocked an eyebrow.

  "Accounting."

  "Sexy and smart." He murmured under his breath, but Kelsey heard him and blushed. "You must be brilliant at number-crunching to land such a high position at Glocal. That company is a pretty big deal, even in the U.S. I think it's among the top PR firms in the world. How did you get in?"

  Kelsey swallowed and decided to tell him the truth. "My father owns it. But, yes, I am pretty good with numbers. I did work my way to the top on my own." She didn't want him thinking she'd had everything handed to her.

  "Wow! You're the founder's daughter." Shaun was silent for a while, as if thinking about something. "What's his name... Aidan O'Neil. You're Kelsey O'Neil?"

  "I am."

  "What made you walk away from such a great career?"

  Kelsey shrugged. "I did fantastic work for the company for years... for my father. But crunching numbers was never my passion. So I quit and decided to figure out what I love for a change. I came here to take a break and start a new chapter in my life." She refrained from telling him about the trigger of her life-changing decision. Craig was in the past, and she wouldn't pay him any more attention than he deserved.

  "Was it your old man who convinced you to work in the family business, then?"

  Forced was more like it. Aidan O'Neil always had the last word. "He wouldn't have it any other way. I studied accounting because of him. He's very controlling. It was always his way or the highway."

  "It couldn't have been easy to walk away, then."

  Kelsey inhaled. "No, it wasn't. We haven't spoken since I quit."

  "What would you have studied instead? If your father hadn’t interfered?"

  "I wanted to become a chef, to open up my own restaurant one day. My father forbade it."

  "A chef?" Shaun arched an eyebrow.

  "Something wrong with that?"

  "No, no. I'm not trying to tease you. I'm impressed, that's all. Why a chef?"

  "The population is growing. There are more mouths to feed." Kelsey shrugged. "I don't know. I love food. I love the smells, the textures, the colors... everything."

  "We need more chefs who think the way you do. When am I invited to dinner?" His lips twitched.

  "The only problem is I can't cook."

  "Oh, yes." He threw back his head and laughed. "How could I forget? You almost burned the cottage down earlier today."

  "Don't be mean." Kelsey laughed.

  "What are you going to do about it?"

  "About?"

  "Your lack of cooking skills? Now that your father can't stop you, are you going to go for it? I think you should."

  "You don't think it's too late?"

  "It's never too late unless you decide it is. You could start by learning to cook more basic meals and then take it from there."

  Kelsey's heart hammered against her chest. "You have a point." Her voice was husky. "There's nothing and no one stopping me."

  Shaun leaned forward. "I can help you search for culinary classes in Limmery. Who knows, there might even be one or two schools right here in Dreara."

  "I'd appreciate that." Kelsey really did like the idea. This was the push she needed.

  They continued eating again in silence, while the other diners talked in hushed voices. Finally, Kelsey decided to ask Shaun about himself. She didn't want to pry, and she had to tread carefully. But he'd asked her a few personal questions, so why couldn't she do the same?

  "How about you? What did you do before you became an author? Or have you always been an author?"

  Shaun looked away and his jaw tightened. "I was a firefighter."

  "Really? That's exciting. I was rescued by a man who actually knows his way around fire. Were you at least lucky enough to love your job?"

  His eyes darkened as if a velvet curtain had fallen behind them. "Yes." His voice was clipped.

  "So, why did you stop? I'm sure it's possible to both write and put out fires."

  "Life got in the way." He wiped his mouth with a napkin. "Are you done? Can we leave?"

  Kelsey read between the lines. He wanted to remain a closed book. But that only made her want to dig deeper, to find out what he was hiding. "Yes, of course. Let's go." She pushed back her chair and stood.

  They paid the check on their way out, then drove home.

  ***

  Shaun burst into his cottage and headed straight for the bathroom. He ran the faucet and dunked his head under the water, wishing it could clear his head of Kelsey O'Neil. The girl was getting under his skin, especially tonight. He'd been unable to keep his eyes off those luscious lips, the curves of her breasts, the way her ass moved when she walked. It had taken every ounce of strength not to pull her close and k
iss her. He wanted her at a distance now just as much as he wanted her close by. The more time he spent with her, the more he wanted her. Finding out she was smart in addition to hot only moved her up on his scale of dateable women, and he didn't date anyone. When he'd asked her to dinner, he hoped they could just be friends. But who was he fooling? He loved the way she bent her head to one side when she smiled, the way her eyelashes stroked her cheeks when she lowered her eyes. The way she hung on his every word, as if there was nothing else she'd rather do. It turned him on.

  He splashed tepid water onto his face and squeezed his eyes shut. Then he opened them again, reached for a towel, and patted his face and hair dry. When he left the bathroom and went down to the kitchen, Kelsey was still on his mind.

  He'd been just fine, fucking the occasional girl every couple of weeks, and writing his book. The cottage Kelsey was renting had been empty for months, and he'd thought it would stay unoccupied for a while longer. He certainly hadn't been interested in entertaining any neighbors. Now the new girl in town had come to mess with his plans. He didn't plan for this shit. He'd been down that road before and it had ended badly.

  Now fate seemed to be pushing him back in the direction he was trying to avoid, and he didn't have the power to stop it. One thing was for certain: He couldn't stay away from Kelsey if he tried. She was like some kind of drug. And ever since the day he met her, he found himself smiling and laughing more than he had done in years. It had been way more fun experiencing Dreara with her than alone. The excited look in her eyes when she learned something new was priceless. And there was one more place he couldn't wait to show her. He had to see the sparkle in her eye one more time.

  "Damn you, Kelsey O'Neil," he said as he opened a cupboard and pulled out a mug. He'd fill himself up with coffee and write all night if he had to. Sleeping was out of the question.

  Chapter Nine

  The harsh ringing of the house phone ripped Kelsey out of her sleep. She had been up half the night wondering what Shaun was running from. When she'd finally fallen asleep at dawn, she dreamed of him.

  "Hello?" Kelsey was too sleepy to raise her voice above a thick whisper.