Godhunter

by Amy Sumida

  Sure enough, Brahma pushed up his silk sleeve and revealed a Rolex. The diamonds in the face sparkled at me in an attempt to change my mind about the whole watch wearing thing. I have to admit they made a good argument. If someone bought me a Rolex, I might make an attempt to wear it everyday. Or at least on non-hunting days.

  “The rally is at one o’clock. It’s now 7:46 AM, Eastern Standard Time, so that gives us roughly another six hours.”

  I groaned and took another sip of coffee. It had been a long day… yesterday, and I still hadn’t got any shut eye since then. “Don’t you guys ever sleep?”

  “We sleep,” Thor’s hand slid up my back and onto my neck, where he began to knead expertly. “We just don’t need it as much as you.”

  “Figures,” I sighed and let him work out the knots. “I know we don’t have time for a nap so let’s just get on with it.”

  “Okay,” Thor set his cup down. “We need a locator spell, Vervain.”

  “No prob,” I sipped my coffee and thought about it. “Wait, what am I supposed to center on?”

  “Can you focus on a magical disturbance?” Horus asked from his big, purple, overstuffed chair. So surreal.

  “You want me to find a disturbance in the force, Luke?” I giggled, on the verge of exhausted hysterics.

  “What did she just call me?” Horus puffed up and put his coffee down.

  “Relax, Egyptian,” Ull chucked Horus on the shoulder. “It's just a movie reference.”

  “Hmph,” Horus picked his mug up but divided his glare between Ull and I, as if we were in cahoots.

  “Sure, I can do a locator spell,” I nodded, “but it'd have to be done while this disturbance is happening and they aren’t going to be using magic constantly. Can’t you guys just do some god juju?”

  “Even we have our limitations,” Horus looked like he’d swallowed a bug.

  “You know, I've always wondered that,” I just realized I had the perfect opportunity to up my god hunting game. “I know about beheading as a good way to be sure of the kill but just in case I have to do some hand to hand combat, what route should I take? I mean, do you guys just regenerate or what?”

  “You want us to tell you how to kill us?” Horus squawked.

  “It's a valid question,” Thor frowned. “We'll be taking her into battle. She needs to know our weaknesses.”

  “And if she uses the information against us?” Horus narrowed his eyes on Thor.

  “Then you'll get to see firsthand if she really is strong enough to kill gods,” Thor glared back.

  “Basically,” Ull ignored the banter and focused on me, “only gods whose power includes regeneration can fully regenerate otherwise fatal wounds and even then, they're limited to as much energy as they have stored up. The rest of us can take care of tiny cuts but other than that, if you cut us, we will bleed... and keep bleeding. We have to heal normally or go to one of our healers. If it's really bad, we have to restock our immortality.”

  “Ull,” Thor's voice held a warning note, “that's going too far. You know the law.”

  “The law?” I felt my forehead wrinkling. “You have laws?”

  “Of course,” Ull continued as if Thor hadn't spoken. “We...”

  “Could you cast a spell on an item?” Estsanatlehi, who I was already referring to as Mrs. E in my head (along with her husband Mr. T, hehe), pulled a smooth white river stone out of her purse. She cast a weighted look at Ull and he clamped his mouth shut. “A spell that would alert you to excessive magic in the area?”

  “I think so,” I considered how much effort I would need to put into it to get coverage over as large an area as we’d need to monitor and took the stone from her. My gaze swept by Ull and I had a sudden thought. “You’re his stepson,” I blurted like an epiphany. Told you, no filter.

  “Yes.”

  “That means you’re married,” I turned and looked accusingly at Thor.

  “Why do you care if I’m married?” Thor tilted his head to the side. His eyes seemed to flash bright for a second.

  “I don’t,” I said immediately. “Are you?”

  “Let’s just say we had a messy break up,” he was fully smiling and his arm was creeping across my back.

  “And you got custody?” I sat up straighter, leaning away from him.

  “Custody?” He shook his head a little, like he was trying to clear it of my human insanity.

  “Of the kid,” I jerked my head toward Ull and Thor’s laughter literally boomed out. Now I don’t like overusing the word literally because it’s so often misused but let me just say I am definitely using the appropriate word here. His laughter shook the light fixtures, it rattled the windows, and I could swear I heard someone’s car alarm go off down the street.

  “The kid,” Thor let his laughter die down to a light rumble, “chose for himself.”

  “Yeah,” Ull leaned forward and winked at me, “Mama’s not happy.”

  “And when Mama’s not happy,” I looked expectantly at him and he didn’t fail me.

  “No one’s happy,” Ull finished gleefully. “You can say that again. She’s been a terror.”

  “Define ‘terror’,” I narrowed my eyes at Ull. Was I going to have to fight his Mommy?

  “You don’t see her here do you?” Ull spread his hands wide.

  “Well, I don’t exactly know what she looks like,” I didn’t like the cold feeling I was getting in my gut. “I don’t even know her name.”

  “Her name is Sif,” Thor answered grimly, “and she looks like him.” He pointed an accusing finger at Ull, like it was somehow his fault.

  “Hey, don’t blame me because you married a bitch,” Ull mercifully lowered his voice to issue the insult.

  “That’s your mother you’re talking about,” Thor leaned in and matched his stepson’s tone.

  “She’s your wife. I didn’t have a choice about her being my mother.”

  “She’s my ex-wife,” Thor grumbled but backed off.

  “Wow, she sounds like a charmer,” I looked back and forth between their sulking faces. “I can’t wait to meet her.”

  “No!” Both of them shouted at the same time and earned us the attention of the whole shop… again.

  “Okay, relax Thunder Twins, deactivate your powers,” I held up my hands. “They feel very strongly about decaf,” I called over to the onlookers. People laughed and shook their heads but slowly went back about their business.

  “You meeting Sif is not a good idea,” Thor lowered his voice again, and then his forehead wrinkled. “And I’m the God of Thunder, Ull is a god of justice.”

  “Whatever,” I shrugged. Justice? I don’t know why I was surprised; Ull did have a sense of fairness about him but…“I just can’t picture you blindfolded and holding scales.”

  “You can’t?” Ull waggled his brows at me. “Do you want to?”

  “Well maybe blindfolded,” I waggled mine right back. Thor rumbled.

  “As amusing as all this has been,” Horus’s voice had gone so dry I feared for his safety near any open flames. “Can we return to the reason for all of us being here… in DC… in October?”

  “Sorry,” I stuck my face down into my coffee cup for a minute to regroup. “I’ll need a quiet place to work on this.” The little white stone felt good in my hands, almost happy to be there. “I’ll need some supplies too.”

  “Ull’s got a place here,” Thor nodded. “It’s why I called him in.”

  “I didn’t notice you making any phone calls before we left,” I winced under the look everyone gave me. “Oh, yeah, right. God to god direct huh? So much better than AT&T.”

  “He's my son,” Thor raised an amused brow, “I have the right with him. I can't manage it with everyone.”

  “Did the documents say who was coming in on the job?” It was the first time Tsohanoai, a.k.a. Mr. T, had spoken in awhile, so I was a little startled. He’d been playing the strong silent type well but his voice was pleasant, comforting. I wanted to tell
him he should use it more often.

  “Yes,” Thor didn’t look too happy. I felt the cold creeping back with that look. “They’re sending Huitzilopochtli.”

  “Is that a single, a plural, or a sneeze?” I raised a corner of my mouth to try and tease Thor’s smile back. Yeah, I know I’ve been complaining about his smiling but when I wasn’t the one making him frown, it wasn’t nearly as much fun.

  “It’s a single,” his lips didn’t even twitch, damn it.

  “So that’s good right?” I looked around and suddenly realized everyone had the same sick expression, like someone had just told them all the coffee was Kopi Luwak. You know, the stuff they make from coffee beans pooped out of a civet cat. What a horrible job those coffee makers had, sifting through civet shit all day to harvest coffee beans. I guess I rather do the sifting than the drinking though. “We can totally take out one god. There are nine of us, he won’t stand a chance. Hell, I’ll tell you what, I’ll get this one. You all go home and you can take the next bad guy.” I smiled brightly.

  No one laughed. No one smiled. No one even breathed. Tough crowd.

  “This is not just a god, Vervain,” it was Mrs. E who finally answered me. “This is Huitzilopochtli. He’s very dangerous.”

  “What is he, Mayan?” I really needed to brush up on my gods. You’d think I’d know them all by now but trust me when I say, there are a lot of gods.

  “He’s an Aztec god of war,” Mr. T reached over and took his wife’s hand as he spoke and I was shocked to see that it shook. “He killed his brothers when they took part in his mother’s murder.”

  “Okay,” I frowned. Avenging your mother didn’t sound so bad to me. “So he’s a mama’s boy and he killed his siblings. They couldn’t have been very nice if they killed their own Mommy. It sounds to me like he was justified.”

  “Justified, maybe, but it was his mother, not theirs,” Ull took over. I guess he felt it was his area of expertise. “The reason he killed them is not the point, Vervain. The fact he managed to kill them is.”

  “Oh? His brothers were pretty bad ass huh?”

  “They were all gods like him, just new at the time, but he was the youngest.” Horus must have felt left out because he flung in his two cents, sounding like a professor lecturing first years. “The question you haven’t asked yet, is how many brothers he had.”

  “Fine, I’ll bite,” all these head games were getting to me. I generally preferred a direct approach to my conversations. “How many brothers did Sneezie have?”

  They all looked at each other and then away from me, all but Horus, who seemed to find pleasure in my anxiety.

  “Huitzilopochtli had four-hundred brothers,” he smiled grimly and just for a second his pupils turned to tiny bird dots, “and one sister, his only ally. She was not so lucky. Coyolxauhqui was killed and in his grief for her, Huitzilopochtli cut her head off and flung it into the sky to become the moon. He sent their brothers up to be the stars and pay attendance on her for eternity.”

  The cold feeling spread to my whole body.

  “That’s just a story though, right?” Was that high, squeaky sound my voice? Crap. I cleared my throat and tried again. “I mean that’s one of those human influence things, right? Where we made up a story to explain the universe and you guys are strengthened and influenced by it but it didn’t actually happen that way. I mean if all the stories were really true, completely true, then we’d have all kinds of deities up in the sky doing everything from pulling the moon with a chariot to living on it.”

  “Yes,” a flash of some kind of emotion passed over Horus’s face. “But all those stories have a kernel of truth. It’s how your people came up with them in the first place.”

  “So he really did kill all four-hundred of his brothers?” I needed to lie down, or put some Baileys in my coffee, or lie down with some Baileys in my coffee and a straw.

  “Yes,” Thor’s hand crept around mine.

  “Four-hundred?”

  “Yes.”

  “Wow,” I blinked.

  “Yes,” Thor's hand squeezed mine.

  “His father really got around,” I snorted. Oh come on, someone had to say it.

  Chapter Five

  Ull had a beautiful four-story home near the National Zoo. I gaped at the tasteful but sedate furnishings as we made our way up to the top floor.

  “Are you all rich?” I asked as I looked over a very pricey piece of art. “Stupid question,” I snorted, “how could you not be?”

  “Well, magic helps,” Ull grinned broadly, “but most of us work among the humans. It's just easier that way. I own a law firm.”

  “A law firm,” I stopped climbing the stairs and turned to face him. I looked him up and down, taking in the long hair and carefree attitude.

  “God of Justice, remember?” He winked at me. “I'm actually a god of hunting and winter too but I thought a law firm would bring the most financial gain. Orvandil Law is now one of the best law firms in the country.”

  “Yes, I can see that,” I looked at the rest of the group. “What about all of you?”

  “I own a line of cruise ships,” Thor said.

  “A landscaping company,” Persephone smiled, “Little Western Flower, has the reputation as the number one landscaper in the country.”

  “Oh, sweet,” I really wanted to say: well duh, you are the Vegetation Goddess and all.

  “We own fertility clinics,” Mrs. E said for her and her husband.

  “I deal in antiques,” Horus sniffed and looked at me like I couldn't possibly understand what that meant.

  “I have a bunch of car dealerships,” Brahma smirked.

  “Cars?” Well that explained why he looked like a car salesman.

  “It's good money,” he handed me a car which read: Golden Swan Exotics, featuring Lotus, Maserati, Ferrari, Bentley, and Lamborghini; Brahma Kanja: owner.

  “I make porn,” Pan stated proudly, handing over his own card.

  “Naughty Nymphs,” I read aloud. “We can satiate any satyr.”

  “Catchy, isn't it?” Pan beamed.

  “Yeah, like Herpes,” Horus grimaced.

  “My girls are all clean,” Pan glared at Horus.

  “I'm sure they are,” I tucked both cards into my jeans pocket as I climbed the last step.

  We'd finally made it to the top floor, which consisted of a large open space with a small kitchen off to the side. It was obviously made for entertaining and was perfect for our current needs. The walls were painted light green, the overstuffed couches were chocolate velvet, and there were enough potted plants strewn about to change the atmospheric conditions. The paintings on the walls were all modern, which I’m not a big fan of but they matched the décor well. The biggest draw though, was the wide balcony with an amazing view of the Zoo. We were just far enough away to avoid prying eyes but still close enough to hear the calls of some of the more restless beasts.

  Speaking of restless beasts, the kitchen was sectioned off by a counter that doubled as a dining table. Ull immediately went to work filling it with an assortment of chips and sandwiches that were disappearing down hungry god throats almost as soon as they were put out. It was nice to have a rest after all the craziness but even while they were eating, the gods continued to press me about the spell, so I barely had time to digest before I was at work again. Damn demanding deities. Try saying that three times fast.

  I ended up sitting cross-legged in the center of the floor. I had all my tools and ingredients placed around me. My circle was drawn, not literally, I wouldn’t want to mess up Ull’s thick green carpet, but my wards shimmered around me in the air. I was ready to go. If I could just get some privacy, life would be perfect. Life isn’t perfect though, is it?

  “Do you guys mind giving me some alone time here?” I looked up at the gods encircling my circle and they all frowned down at me. I felt like Prometheus, facing the gods in Olympus. Hmm, I wondered if Persephone could get me into Olympus. I hadn't found the spell to br
eak into that particular god realm yet.

  “Why do you need us to leave?” Thor crossed his arms over his massive chest. Somehow it made him look even more massive, all those muscles squished up like taped supermodel cleavage. It had potential bad-ass explosion written all over it.

  “I don’t need you to, I’d just prefer it,” I glared back. “Call me shy.”

  “Sorry,” Ull’s grin was just plain cocky. “My house, I get to stay.”

  “Why do you even care?” I glared at them as they stood around me, staring down at the human as I knelt before my makeshift altar, making me feel like a side show freak. Or one of their followers. I think I'd rather be the freak.

  “We’ve never seen a human twist god magic,” Horus had the look of a scientist peering at a developing petri dish. “I for one, have no intentions of leaving.” There was a murmur of ascent and the ring of them drew closer till they pressed against the wards of my circle like a class of kindergarteners around a fish bowl.

  “Fine,” I closed my eyes and tried to pretend they weren’t there but even through the circle I could feel their power fluttering against my wards like a flock of multicolored birds. All of it was magic but no breed was the same. They each had their own feel, their own tempo, their own look. It was fascinating and very distracting. I sighed and grounded myself, trying to get the image of feathered gods flocking and squawking around my circle out of my mind, when an evil little idea reared its ugly head.

  Gods had been sucking humans dry for centuries. It was about time for a little payback… if my theory worked. I reached out with my magic to connect with the Aether and then pull on the power of the earth but instead of stopping there like I normally do, I quested back up through the ground and into the bodies around me. I heard soft gasps and a few grunts. Of pleasure, pain or just plain shock, I didn’t know but no one protested.

  Their power didn’t just flow into me like that of the earth. It rushed into me like it was coming home after being gone for years. All those birds flapped together inside my body till they swirled into one fiery phoenix which seemed intent on making sure every cell I had was touched by its flame. It filled me to the top and kept going like there was more to me than my simple body could contain. My hair lifted up like a breeze was coming from beneath me but the air was absolutely still. Every muscle I had jerked and tightened. I felt as if I were glowing, empowered, recharged and most of all, I felt incredible.