Just Enough Light

by AJ Quinn

  Kellen stiffened. She knew her smile slowly faded, but she hoped she didn’t allow any of what she was feeling to come through in her voice. “Did he say what he wanted with me?”

  Cody shook her head unhappily while Ren looked almost on the verge of tears. “He just said he needed to talk to you right away. Said that it’s really important. But he wouldn’t tell us why. Probably thought we were just dumb kids.”

  “Kellen, are you in trouble?” Ren asked in a small voice. “Do we need to leave?”

  At least, Kellen thought wryly, they no longer seemed to worry that she’d leave without them. To anyone else, it might not seem like a lot, but it was definitely progress.

  Then she turned and glanced at the small front closet. The one that held a backpack with carefully chosen items. Jeans, T-shirts, some cash, several passports. Just in case she ever needed to leave in a hurry. In case she ever needed to run.

  It was a habit she’d not managed to break, even after all these years of being settled in one place. Here. The first place that had ever felt like home in too many years to count. How could she expect to help the girls move forward when she hadn’t been able to help herself?

  “Kellen?” Ren’s voice broke through her tangled thoughts.

  “Do you want to leave?” she asked softly.

  Both girls shook their heads. “No.”

  “Good, because I don’t want to leave either,” she said. A rush of emotions swept over her and she held out her hands. Both girls reached for her and she pulled them into her arms, holding them tight. “This is our home. No one—no cop—is going to tell us differently. Trust me. I’ll talk to Annie and find out what she knows. Then I’ll talk to this cop. And if there’s a problem, I’ll take care of it. Fix it. Just like always. Okay?”

  Both girls nodded. There was gratitude on their faces, not something Kellen ever wanted to see. But she would deal with that later. For now, she could feel their fear start to dissipate, and that was all that counted.

  A long moment passed before Ren spoke again. “The new doctor Annie hired arrived this afternoon. I didn’t see her, but Cody talked to her. Her name’s Dana and Cody says she seems really nice.”

  “She’s also hot,” Cody added with a grin. “Of course, she’s older than us. I think more like your age. Maybe you should check her out. Then, if you like her and she likes you, maybe—”

  Kellen narrowed her eyes. “Maybe what?”

  Surprisingly, both girls giggled. “Maybe then you won’t have to be alone all the time. You need someone, Kel. Like I have Ren.”

  Kellen scratched a nonexistent itch on the back of her neck and released a soft laugh. “How can I possibly be alone when I’ve got the two of you looking after me?” She looked from one girl to the other, realized that in spite of the teasing they were actually serious, and decided she needed to quickly change the subject. “How about we go to town for some pizza?”

  Chapter Three

  The music playing as Dana walked into Up the Creek was just right. Loud and lively enough that she could feel it in her blood, low enough that people could still have conversations. The scent of barbecue and the sound of laughter filled the air, and the decor was truly eclectic—antique ski gear on the walls, comfortable chairs and love seats set up in groups, tables filled with pitchers of beer and platters of wings.

  Perfect.

  “I hope you’re not disappointed,” Annie said. They’d been seated in a relatively quiet corner near the back by the pool tables and dartboards. A server brought them two frosty mugs of beer and left menus behind. “There are quite a number of really good restaurants in town, but for some reason, I thought—”

  “This is perfect, Annie. Exactly what I wanted and I didn’t even know it.”

  “I’m glad, because more times than not, this just happens to be where most team members come when they want to unwind.”

  Deciding to wait before ordering, they chatted easily over their beer. Annie explained more of the organizational structure at Alpine. She also introduced her to various locals who stopped to say hello. It seemed everyone had an opinion about the clinic, and there was also a great deal of pride in how Alpine’s growth and success had put Haven on the map. Especially from financial backers like the mayor and her wife.

  “I have to say, this is the most gay-friendly town I’ve seen outside of Provincetown,” Dana murmured. “In some ways, I feel like I’ve fallen down a rabbit hole.”

  “It’s a great place to live and let live.” Annie smiled. “And no offense, because I knew the moment I met you that I’d offer you the position, but the fact you were quite open about yourself didn’t hurt.”

  “No offense taken, because I knew the moment I met you that I wanted the opportunity you were offering. I just didn’t want there to be any misconceptions or disappointments.”

  As far as Dana was concerned, she’d already spent far too much time dealing with the aftermath of disappointing people. Enough to last a lifetime.

  She could still see the carefully controlled disbelief on her parents’ faces and hear the disappointment in their voices when she’d announced she was opting not to follow her father’s footsteps in cardiology. And then she’d exacerbated the situation by moving beyond their sphere of influence and control to New York and taking a job in an inner-city hospital emergency room.

  Her mother had sighed and told her she was being selfish. For what? Dana wanted to know. For refusing to continue pushing her own happiness aside for them? For wanting to live her own life, on her own terms, putting her own interests first?

  Even though it was an old refrain, the hurt still cut deep. It wasn’t that she didn’t care about disappointing her parents. She did. But she’d waited a long time before asserting control over her own life and now they would all have to find a way to deal.

  “That sounds like someone else I know,” Annie said. “And speak of the devil…”

  “What?” Dana turned her head and saw Kellen standing just inside the door, radiating energy and talking to the hostess, while the two girls who’d come in with her shook snow off their parkas.

  Dana immediately recognized one of them. Cody, who’d been working the front desk. The other girl looked to be around the same age—late teens, early twenties.

  “Do you mind if I invite them to join us?” Annie asked.

  “Not at all.” It was close enough to the truth. “I know Cody, Kellen’s young doppelgänger, but I’ve not met the other girl.”

  Annie clearly found the description amusing. “Doppelgänger’s an apt description for young Cody in that she can be just as stubborn as Kellen. The other girl’s Ren. You’ll seldom see one without the other, and if you see Kellen, the girls are seldom far behind.”

  Dana knew the instant the group headed their way in response to Annie’s wave, and found herself watching Kellen’s reflection approaching in an antique mirror on the wall. Dressed in jeans and a navy blue long-sleeved Henley, Kellen’s eyes were bright with amusement and she was laughing at something one of the girls said. The sound of her laughter whispered along Dana’s skin.

  By the time introductions were completed, Cody and Ren—clearly a couple, judging by the possessive way they touched—had taken the love seat across from Dana, leaving Kellen no choice but to drop down beside Dana, under the watchful eyes of everyone at the table.

  Kellen groaned softly.

  Concerned, Dana turned to face her. “Are you okay? Is something wrong?”

  Releasing a low laugh, Kellen shook her head. “Not exactly, as long as you don’t mind having your every move watched and critiqued.”

  Dana glanced at the girls, who were momentarily distracted while checking out the menu. “I’m not sure I understand.”

  “I’m sorry. But once they get something in their heads, there’s no stopping them.”

  “Should I know what you’re talking about?” she asked. “What specifically do you think is in their heads?”

  “Matchmaking.�
��

  For an instant, Dana simply froze, staring at the wry grin on Kellen’s face. “Matchmaking?”

  “That’s right. Surely you’ve heard of it? It’s the process of matching two people together—”

  “I know what the word means.” Dana frowned at her. “I just don’t understand what it has to do with us. You and me. And why it matters to the girls.”

  “It matters to the girls because they’re in love and therefore they think everyone should be.” The faintest smile curved her lips as Kellen explained, “Apparently, they got it in their heads that I shouldn’t be alone around the same time you came along, and it gave them ideas. We’re both of a certain age—”

  “Thirty-five.”

  “Thirty-two, so close enough. We also both happen to be unattached—um, you are unattached, aren’t you?”

  “Of course. I’m quite single. Sweet Jesus, I wouldn’t have asked you out for drinks if I wasn’t.”

  Kellen’s smile widened and she leaned in closer. “There is that, although I need to tell you. This impromptu gathering doesn’t count. I believe you still owe me drinks. And maybe dinner.”

  “All right. I’ll give that some serious thought,” Dana countered, faintly surprised that Kellen was flirting with her, and pleased at the same time. “In the meantime, what are we supposed to do about…expectations?”

  “That depends. Mostly, I suggest we take it one day at a time. The girls will eventually get bored and move on to something else. And in the meantime, you and I will get to know each other, learn to work together, and end up somewhere along the continuum between hating each other and falling madly in love.”

  “That simple?”

  “Yup. Life is complicated enough. Most of the time, it’s best to take it one day at a time. Kind of like survival,” she said softly. “And here’s your first clue to surviving in the new environment you find yourself. The girls eat fish and eggs, but not meat or chicken, so we’re ordering a vegetarian pizza. But if ribs or chicken wings are your thing, like they are Annie’s, go ahead and order. It won’t present a problem.”

  Dana raised her eyebrows. “And you? What side of the great meat divide do you fall on?”

  “I’m much like the girls. I must say I love fish, especially salmon, but I don’t eat meat of any kind. That said, I’d never judge someone else by what they like to eat and, heaven forbid, I’d never stand between Annie and her teriyaki chicken wings.”

  “I’ll have to keep it in mind. You know, in the event I invite you for dinner.”

  “Touché.” Kellen tilted her head back and raised a brow. “So tell me, Dana. Do you play pool?”

  “Yes, but I haven’t played in ages, and with this cast, I’m likely not going to be very good.”

  “Good to know.” Kellen grinned and leaned closer once again. “And there, see how easy this is? Just like survival. We’ll have a game in a bit, but because we’re going to be working together, I feel I should warn you. Cody is a bit of a pool shark, so watch out for her.”

  *

  Over the next couple of hours, Kellen consumed more pizza than was strictly necessary, but she’d lost track while sharing in the laughter and banter at the table. She’d have to add twenty laps in the pool to her workout routine in the morning. But she had to admit, it had been a long time since she’d had such an enjoyable evening, so it made the prospect of an additional workout well worth it.

  The warmth of genuine affection, small talk, and lots of laughter were like a balm for her soul, enabling her to push aside the detritus of the past that had been stirred by Cody’s earlier comment. About a cop looking for her. And by Ren’s fear that they would have to leave this place that had become a home for all of them.

  The girls looked like they were having fun. And, in spite of her own innate reticence and wariness with strangers, she was finding Dana not just attractive, but remarkably easy to talk to.

  Eventually, Cody stood and issued a teasing challenge. “Who’s up for some pool? Kel?”

  “Sure.” Kellen turned to Dana and extended her hand. “Shall we take on this youngster and show her how it’s done?” She couldn’t read the expression on Dana’s face but was pleased when she accepted the hand she’d offered and allowed Kellen to help her up. “You mentioned it’s been a while. Do you want to practice a bit first?”

  Dana grinned. “I doubt it will do me much good, so why don’t we just go for it. What are the stakes?”

  Before Kellen could respond, Cody jumped in. “How about a dollar a ball? Does that sound okay?”

  Kellen frowned and stared at Cody, but the young woman ignored her while Dana considered the possibilities. “Fifteen balls, fifteen dollars. I think I can manage that.” She accepted the cue Cody offered her and began to chalk it.

  “Why don’t you break, Dr. Kingston,” Cody said, clearly feeling gracious, while Kellen racked the balls. “The game is eight ball. Do you know it?”

  “Thanks, I’d be happy to break. And if you remember, you agreed to call me Dana.” She looked at the table. “Eight ball? If I remember correctly, once I break, I’ll be assigned either stripes or solids, assuming I sink something.”

  “That’s right,” Cody responded with a small grin and rattled off the rest of the rules.

  “Sounds about right.” Dana took a moment to steady herself, then bent over the table and took her first shot. She sank three balls on the break. Moving around the table, she leaned over, narrowed her eyes to determine the best angle, and neatly sank the next ball.

  She picked up her beer, took a quick sip, and went back to work. Assessing her next move, and the one after that, she proceeded to run the table, knocking in a succession of solid balls with ease.

  “Nice run,” Kellen murmured.

  “Thanks.” Dana chalked her cue one more time and called her final shot, striking the eight ball and sending it cleanly into the corner pocket. “I believe that’s fifteen dollars each of you owes me.”

  While the others cheered, Kellen started to laugh and wrapped one arm around Cody’s shoulder. “Cody, I think we’ve just been hustled.”

  *

  Shortly after the pool game ended, the unexpected evening also came to an end. Kellen settled the bill with the hostess, gathered the girls and their coats, waved and headed out into the cold.

  Dana and Annie followed more slowly, shivering as they climbed into Annie’s SUV. Stars were beginning to show through the wisps of cloud overhead and they both sat looking up as they waited for the vehicle to warm up, lost in their own thoughts.

  “You’re going to be so good for her,” Annie said, breaking the comfortable silence.

  “Oh Lord, Annie.” Dana didn’t bother pretending she didn’t know what Annie meant. “Don’t tell me you’re going for the less-than-subtle matchmaking, too? And you can stop grinning while you’re at it.”

  “I’m sorry,” she responded, but she didn’t sound sorry at all. “I need you to know, it wasn’t ever my intention to set anything up this evening or to make you feel uncomfortable in any way. But I have to admit, I thought what the girls were doing was cute.”

  “Cute?”

  “They love Kellen and just want what’s best for her, as do I. And you did tell me you hit on her before you had any idea who she was, so you had to be interested.”

  “I did. She’s smoking hot.” She met Annie’s eyes calmly so she would know she spoke the truth. “I was. And no one made me feel uncomfortable.”

  “Good. I’m glad. And I did tell you how pleased I was that Kellen showed some interest in return, didn’t I?”

  “Yes, you did,” Dana said with something like a sigh. She opened her mouth to speak but stopped, knowing Annie wouldn’t understand the doubts that came from years of dancing to someone else’s tune.

  “Don’t think about it too much. Tonight was a good start. For everyone. We’re all going to be working closely and it generally works best if we can get along. That’s all that matters for now.” Annie’s bro
w creased. “I do have one question for you, though.”

  “Yes?”

  “After spending some time with Kellen and the girls, and hopefully recognizing that they come as a package deal, are you still interested?”

  There was no question. It was a hell of a package. Caring, compassionate, intelligent, and sexy with a heart-stopping face. Dana looked down at her hands for a moment. “The simple answer is yes, but I’ll be honest and tell you I don’t know what that means.”

  “It means whatever you want it to mean.”

  Dana considered her words. “Annie, Kellen and I really don’t know each other. An initial interest on both sides doesn’t mean we’ll fit well, if at all. And while I wouldn’t mind taking a chance, finding out more, everything seems to be happening too fast.”

  “New job, new place, new interest?”

  “Yes. I find myself in unfamiliar territory and I think I’m afraid I’ll make the wrong decision. Make the wrong move. I need to find where I fit first, get my feet planted firmly under me, and that doesn’t leave much time for anything else. Like finding out who might fit with me.”

  “Can I share a bit of personal history?”

  “Of course.”

  “My mother once told me she knew my father was the one for her within an hour of meeting him. They were living together a month after they met. I laughed it off at the time. And then I met Lesley. I felt it instantly, but I wasted ten years we might have enjoyed together fighting who I was and what I thought was expected. Believing my choices would hurt the people I loved only to discover my parents just wanted me to be happy.” Annie reached over and squeezed Dana’s hand. “It was your instincts that brought you here to Haven, Dana. Keep trusting them.”

  Chapter Four

  Kellen awoke with a start. There was a scream trapped in her throat, her heart was pounding, her skin was damp with sweat, and Bogart’s cold nose was pressed against her hand. Bringing her back. Reassuring her. Grounding her.