Faith Hope and Love

by Kimberly Rae Jordan

A smile spread across Cassie’s face. “That’s okay. I appreciate the backup.”

  Another knock sounded at the door not long after. Cassie went to peek through the peephole before opening it. “Food!”

  A uniformed man rolled the cart into the room, looking curiously at Quinn as he set up the table. Cassie tried to tip him but he brushed it aside and left them to their meal.

  Quinn hadn’t realized how hungry he was until the food arrived. He gladly ate all the pancakes and bacon Cassie had ordered for him.

  “Would you like the rest of my omelet?” Cassie asked him, eyeing his empty plate.

  “You didn’t order it with onions, did you?”

  Cassie shook her head. “Nope, no onions.”

  “In that case, I think I will finish it off for you. No sense in letting it go to waste.”

  “No sense at all,” Cassie responded with a faint smile.

  An hour on the dot brought another knock on the door and Mr. Sidwell was back.

  “I’ve prepared a few questions Quinn can answer for the press.”

  Cassie took the list and read through it, shaking her head. “Quinn will not be speaking with the press. I have a prepared statement that I will give, but that’s all we’re prepared to do at the moment.”

  Sidwell began to sputter. “But...but...the press doesn’t want a prepared statement. They want to talk to Quinn.”

  “That’s just not going to be possible. Quinn will be there, of course, but he won’t be answering any questions right now.”

  Quinn sat back watching Cassie at work. She’d been telling the truth when she’d said she could stand her ground. This time he didn’t feel compelled to jump in and rescue her.

  “The press will not be happy about this,” Sidwell muttered under his breath.

  “Well, then I guess that will make many unhappy people, myself included. Do you think I enjoy having to parade my private life out in public? The only reason I’m agreeing to do this is because many people across the country have been praying for Quinn’s release and I want to thank them.”

  Sidwell was still muttering when the three of them left the suite five minutes later. Quinn marveled at Cassie’s poise and calm manner. He remembered how she’d struggled as they travelled around the country, talking at different churches to raise financial support. She’d never enjoyed being the center of attention and speaking in public. It was obvious she’d come to terms with it though if she was this calm just before going on national television to speak to God only knew how many viewers.

  A group of people rushed towards them as they approached the room where the press conference was taking place.

  “You have three minutes before you go on,” a man with a clipboard in one hand informed them. Someone else was there giving directions and talking with Cassie. Not sure what else to do, Quinn stuck close to her and took a deep breath when they were finally motioned out of the side room onto the stage to face the press.

  *****

  Cassie took several deep breaths trying to quell her nerves. Quinn sat next to her on the stage radiating tension which didn’t help settle her nerves at all. She waited as Sidwell stood at the microphone first and said a few words. When he was done it was her turn. Taking a final deep breath, she placed her paper on the podium in front of her.

  Cassie let her gaze drift across the crowd of reporters gathered in the small room. A few looked familiar, she’d seen them on television over the years.

  “Thank you for coming today. Quinn and I would both like to thank the media for the coverage they have given his story. It has helped to spread the word to many people across this country and in turn, those people have joined many others worldwide in praying for Quinn’s release.

  “It has been a difficult six years of separation. Especially when we didn’t know if Quinn was alive. I ask that you continue to pray for Kevin and Michael, the men who are still held captive, and their families. Quinn’s release gives us hope they will be freed soon too.

  “To have him home is wonderful. We are looking forward to some quiet time as a family. Time that will be spent getting reacquainted after such a long time apart.

  “I hope you understand that our time in the spotlight has come to an end. Quinn is back home safe and sound, and now we need time to put our lives back together. We will be giving no further press conferences in the foreseeable future, and we will be unavailable to anyone but our closest friends and family.

  “I want to take this opportunity to thank those across this country who have prayed faithfully for Quinn’s release. God is good and in His time, He answered our prayers. Continue to pray for us as we go through an adjustment period.” Cassie folded her paper and looked out at a crowd. “I am grateful to God that my husband is finally home again. This has been a difficult time for all of us close to the situation, and I am glad to know that this chapter of our lives is now closed.

  “Thank you again for your support and understanding.”

  Cassie turned away from the podium, ignoring the clamor behind her as questions were shouted out. She knew the press was not happy to have to settle for a statement instead of being able to ask her and Quinn questions. The director of the mission was also present at the conference and would remain behind to field any questions the press had.

  “Let’s go.” Quinn stood next to her.

  Cassie looked up at him and nodded. “I’m ready for this to be over.”

  They made a quick exit and headed for the nearby elevators hoping to make their escape before the reporters started to follow them. A few other people joined them in the elevator but aside from a curious glance in their direction no one bothered them. Still, Cassie didn’t breathe a sigh of relief until they were back in their suite with the door locked.

  Cassie slumped down on the couch and slipped off her high heels. Leaning back she rotated her feet in circles, glad to have the shoes off. Cassie turned her head and saw Quinn pacing behind her, silhouetted by the sunlight streaming through the balcony door.

  He paused and looked at her, his expression tense. “Are we going to have to stay here much longer?”

  Cassie shifted so she could stretch her legs out on the couch and leaned an arm on the back of it. “I’m sorry, Quinn. I think we have to hang around a few more days. The mission, as well as the government people, want to talk to you. They want to offer you some counseling. And me too.”

  Quinn scowled and began to pace again. “I don’t need counseling. I need to go home. I need to get away from all these people. I need to see my daughter.”

  Cassie didn’t know what to say. She wanted him to take the counseling because she knew it would do them good. She’d been taking counseling off and on during the time he’d been gone. It helped so much to just be able to talk with someone. Cassie was sure he needed to have that outlet too even though he denied it.

  “We’ll talk to Ben Locke,” Cassie said, referring to the mission director. “And see what he can do.”

  Quinn nodded and stopped for a moment to stare out the window before continuing to pace.

  Cassie leaned her head back against the arm of the couch and closed her eyes. She felt a strong desire to call Emily to find out how to deal with all of Quinn’s emotions. She’d gone through it when David had been released and perhaps could give her some advice. Of course David hadn’t seemed as hardened as Quinn.

  Cassie opened her eyes to look at her husband. It was like everything had hardened to stone in that jungle. His body, his heart, his soul.

  A knock on the door interrupted her musings. Quinn turned from the window but Cassie waved a hand at him. “I’ll get it.”

  As she had suspected, Ben Locke stood in the doorway.

  “Hi Cassie, may I come in?”

  “Sure, Ben. It’s good to see you.” The elderly man embraced Cassie before walking into the suite.

  Ben held out his hand and shook Quinn’s. “Good to see you again.”

  “You, too,” Quinn replied in a stilted voice.


  Ben turned back towards Cassie. “I just wanted to stop by and see how things are going. We’d like to have a meeting this afternoon with Quinn, if that’s okay. A debriefing, if you will.”

  Cassie glanced at Quinn and saw his jaw clench. “We were just talking about that. How long do you think it will be before we can go home?”

  Ben looked at Quinn, then back to Cassie. “We’d like to have a few days with you both. I understand you’re anxious to get home, but I think it would be a good idea for you to take advantage of the help that is being offered.”

  “I’ll go to the meeting, the debriefing, this afternoon,” Quinn said. “But then I’d like to go home. This evening if possible, tomorrow at the latest. I’m sure Cassie has people who can help us there as well as here.”

  “I really don’t recommend leaving so soon,” Ben said, his brow furrowed.

  “I appreciate your concern but right now I have some concerns of my own. My mother isn’t doing well, she’s the only parent I still have, and then there’s my daughter whom I’ve never met. I want to go home.”

  Ben looked at Cassie, pleading in his eyes. Cassie just shrugged. She understood Quinn’s desire to see his mom and Jani, she wanted to see them, too.

  “There’s no way I can change your mind?” Ben asked.

  Quinn shook his head. “For too long I’ve had to bend to the wishes of others. I’m free now and this is my decision. I want to be home with my family.”

  Ben nodded. “Okay. I’ll call those we are to meet with this afternoon and let you know what time the debriefing will be. Why don’t you grab some lunch?”

  Cassie walked Ben to the door. Surprisingly, he left without asking her to try to change Quinn’s mind. Cassie closed the door but lingered with her hand on the handle. She leaned her forehead against the smooth wood and closed her eyes.

  “God, please help me. Quinn seems so hard, so different than the man I married. I don’t know what to say, what to do. Give me wisdom and understanding. Please don’t let my family fall apart.”

  Taking a deep breath, Cassie pushed away from the door and went back to the living room. Quinn stood, head bent, looking at the room service menu. He looked up as she walked towards him.

  “Have you decided what you’d like for lunch?” she asked as he handed her the menu.

  Within half an hour they were eating their lunch, waiting for Ben’s call. Cassie’s appetite had vanished but she forced herself to eat knowing it was going to be a long afternoon. She only hoped that it was a positive experience and not a negative one.

  Chapter Three

  Cassie pushed the snaps shut on her small suitcase and heaved it off the bed, grunting. It hit the floor with a muffled thud and fell onto its side. She just stared at it, exhaustion dragging at her body.

  The past day had been jam packed with meetings. She and Quinn barely had any time together. Once they finished their lunch Ben returned and they headed off for the first of Quinn’s debriefings. Cassie hadn’t participated in those meetings but met with a counselor instead. Quinn’s meetings ran long so Cassie had spent some time with Cecily talking and praying.

  By the time they’d gotten back to the hotel it had been late, and Cassie could tell Quinn was in no mood for conversation. They’d gone straight to bed and even though she had been wiped out, Cassie had struggled to fall asleep.

  Now she was paying for it.

  Wearily Cassie picked up the suitcase and headed for the door of the bedroom. She spotted Quinn standing at the window looking out at the smog-filled sky. It seemed he spent a lot of time staring out the window. Almost as if he longed to be out of the building, out of the confines of the hotel.

  He turned when she bumped the suitcase against the wall.

  “Let me get that for you,” he said and came towards her.

  Dark circles lay beneath Quinn’s eyes and he appeared even gaunter than he had the day before. He looked as tired as she felt. It was a good thing they were heading home. They both needed some rest.

  She sat down on the couch as Quinn carried the suitcase over to the hallway where he’d put his duffle bag. It was tempting to close her eyes to try and get a bit more sleep, but she doubted she’d actually fall asleep with Quinn so near, even if she had the time.

  “How much longer till we’re out of here?” Quinn prowled restlessly around the room.

  “Aaron and Cecily said they would be coming by to pick us up. I expect they’ll arrive in the next little while. Our plane leaves in three hours.” Cassie couldn’t help smiling as she thought about Aaron and Cecily. They had been a great support to her over the past few years and had become close friends.

  There was a knock at the door. Cassie moved to stand but Quinn waved her back. “I’ll get it.”

  Cassie didn’t argue. Closing her eyes, she sank back against the couch. When she heard Sidwell’s nasal voice greet Quinn, she stifled a groan.

  “We’d like to talk with you and your wife.”

  “I’m afraid that’s not possible. We did your press conference but now we’d like some time to ourselves.”

  “But we’ve lined up an interview.” He went on to mention a top name journalist and documentary program. “They will come by later this afternoon to meet with you and then start filming tomorrow.”

  “That won’t work. We’re leaving.”

  Even from a distance Cassie could hear the impatience in Quinn’s voice. He used to be much more diplomatic and patient. Of course Sidwell was as annoying as a mosquito buzzing around, and she lost her patience with him as well. Sometimes it felt like she was talking to a brick wall whenever she tried to hold a conversation with the man.

  Over the years he had been the representative from the government she’d had to deal with. He’d lined up interviews before and Cassie had to admit he’d help to get the word out about Quinn and the others, if only he wasn’t so annoying.

  “You’re…you’re leaving?” Sidwell sputtered.

  “I’m sorry but our public life has come to an end. We need privacy now.”

  Cassie heard the soft click as the door shut and grinned. She could just imagine Sidwell standing on the other side, glaring at it.

  Quinn came back into the room as Cassie opened her eyes. He had a frown on his face. “That man is a pain.”

  “Yes, he’s been a pain for the past three years. Hasn’t changed much at all. Well, he got a little worse when he was promoted.”

  With a shake of his head, Quinn dropped into the chair across from her. “I hope your friends show up soon. I can’t handle being holed up in this hotel room for very much longer.” His head bent forward until his chin rested on his chest.

  Her earlier observation about him feeling cooped up in the hotel room, spacious though it was, had been right. It made her doubly glad for the plans she had made now that she realized how much Quinn disliked being confined.

  “When we get home we’re going to pick Jani up and head for the cabin.”

  Quinn’s head lifted. “We’re going out to the cabin?”

  “Yes, I figured it was the best place to go. Peace and quiet, and lots of fresh air and privacy.”

  Cassie looked closely at Quinn, dismayed to see the lines of tension on his face had not eased at all since she’d first seen him. A wave of emotion swept over her. She longed to go to him, curl up in his lap and offer him comfort. They had done that a lot in the past. It was a wonderful way to end the day, curled up together, talking and sharing. Quinn had held her many times as she’d cried from homesickness when they’d first arrived in South America.

  Tears formed in Cassie’s eyes. Quickly she blinked and looked away from Quinn. The memories of the past had been all that had kept her going over the years, now they only caused pain as the realization came that things would never be like that again. Both she and Quinn had changed so much.

  Too much? Cassie wondered.

  “I think I’ll just go check over the room once more to make sure I didn't leave anyth
ing.” Cassie stood, suddenly eager to be alone.

  Quinn nodded. “I’ll do the same. The sooner we can get out of here the better.”

  Within half an hour the knock they’d both been waiting for sounded. Cassie checked the peephole before opening the door and embracing Aaron and Cecily.

  “I’m so glad to see you guys,” Cassie said as she stepped back to let them into the room.

  “Been a rough couple of days?” Aaron asked.

  Cassie shrugged. “Dealing with all the bureaucracy is a pain. Even the mission, I hate to say. I know it’s for our own good but I just want to get on with life.”

  Aaron shook Quinn’s hand when he joined them. “Everything okay?”

  “It’s going to be once we get out of here.” Quinn picked up his bag. “Is it time to go?”

  Aaron hesitated for a moment. “Are you sure you’re ready? I really think you should reconsider the counseling the mission is offering.”

  Quinn sighed and dropped his bag back onto the carpet. “I talked to a counselor already. Two of them, in fact, managed to find room for me in their no-doubt busy schedule yesterday.”

  Cassie tried to keep her jaw from dropping. She had never heard Quinn speak so sarcastically before. It struck a chord of fear within her. Just how much had Quinn changed?

  “Two sessions aren’t enough, Quinn,” Aaron said calmly. “You need something more long-term. Involving Cassie.”

  Cassie looked from Quinn to Aaron. Tension was thick and getting thicker. She had never, ever, sensed such a tension in Quinn in all the years she had known him.

  “Aaron, I have a counselor at home,” Cassie said, hoping to cool things down. “I’ll give her a call.”

  Aaron nodded. “Do, Cassie. I think it’s very important. In talking to David Warner it’s been the one thing that helped him after his release.”

  It bothered Cassie to see the looks of concern on Aaron and Cecily’s faces. They’d become so close to her over the years and she hated to see them so worried. “Don’t worry, Aaron, I’ll take care of it.”

  “Well, then, I guess it’s time to get you guys off to the airport.”