Booty Camp Dating Service

by Debra Anastasia

  Chapter 8

  Back At It Again

  Luna, the Booty Camp staff who called Hazel to tell her about the second night of meetings at the theater, was in the right line of work. She was very convincing. Claire was with Hazel and helped push her over the edge, telling her that she was going to spend time with Chance—who had been texting her all day—and they would go together.

  Luna said that Wolf had a few dates in mind for her—which hurt Hazel’s feelings a lot after the kiss they'd shared—and he would be open to discussing the refund she wanted.

  Claire was convinced Wolf was a decent guy because Chance spoke fondly of the man in the hours they were together. And she thought maybe the call was bait to bring Hazel back so he could kiss her again.

  Hazel’s body wanted another kiss, but her brain was highly opposed to the idea. After going through her closet with Claire, Hazel picked a soft, black sheath dress and boots. Her warm jacket would be an improvement on last night’s getup. She pulled her hair into a tight bun, and Claire made fun of her for looking like a librarian.

  They stopped at Claire’s apartment on the way back to the theater, and she spent a very long time getting dressed for her new fiancé. Hazel took two Advil and lay on the couch to catch a nap while she waited.

  Eventually Claire shook her awake, all hyped up on her excitement, and Hazel felt a knot in her stomach. She tried to tell herself it was because she would be in the meat market environment again. But she knew the real deal was her anticipation at seeing Wolf. Would he act differently after the kiss? He’d done it because he felt bad for her. But he sure as hell had committed to the playacting. Maybe he looked down on the Booty Camp clients? Did he think they were desperate and beneath him?

  As she worked her way up the tiny steps of the theater, she wet her lips. And checked her hair in the reflection in the glass door. No stray pieces seemed to be escaping. Then his face was on the other side as he opened the door for her.

  His forearms were particularly distracting, as was his cologne, as she scooted through the door and pushed through the second set of doors.

  He didn’t greet them, but Chance made them feel welcome with his huge smile. Obviously, the few hours apart had made Claire and Chance even fonder for each other, and he pulled her in for an exuberant kiss. “It’s been forever since I did that last.”

  Claire sighed happily and agreed.

  Wolf had on an exact replica of the Booty Camp staff T-shirt that Hazel had folded and placed at the end of her bed this morning. She handed him the jacket she had borrowed.

  He was standing next to her and seemed to find a set of manners in his body somewhere because he asked, “How you feeling today?”

  “A little used, honestly. You took my money, and you're holding it hostage. And then the elevator last night…” she trailed off, not wanting to admit to what they had done with the other staff lingering around.

  “You know the deal with the money. It’s the weekend, so the banks aren’t going to even be working toward clearing your grandma-style check.” He gestured to a staff member across the lobby. “Okay. Off to find the poor bastard who winds up with you.”

  She gave his retreating back the finger again. This fucking guy. His pity kisses and bad attitude were grinding on her last nerve.

  The scene at Booty Camp was a repeat of the one from the previous night. Claire had to part from her new man when he started his spiel from the evening before with his characteristic gusto. It was altered a bit to acknowledge the clients that had been present last night, too.

  “Do we have to sit through the whole speech inside again?” Hazel asked.

  “I don’t want to miss a word of it. Chance has so much passion.” Claire hooked her arm in Hazel’s and they brought up the rear as the crowd filed into the seats.

  While they waited for everyone to settle, Claire leaned over and whispered, “Wolf can’t take his eyes off you.” She discreetly pointed to the seat where Wolf had sat last night. He had a folder with him this time, and sure enough, when they made eye contact, he narrowed his eyes at her.

  “That’s because he hates me.” Hazel gave him a matching glower.

  “I think if you two recorded yourselves hate fucking, you could make about four million dollars. The chemistry popping off you guys is bonkers.” Claire made a rude gesture with her hands.

  Hazel covered Claire's naughty hands with one of her own. “Stop. We have no chemistry. He’s evil.”

  “What about the kiss last night? How was it?” Claire pouted and made kissy noises.

  “I already told you.” Hazel used her other hand to cover Claire’s mouth.

  Claire started wiggling her eyebrows.

  “It was hot, but it was a charity kiss.”

  Claire freed her hands and uncovered her mouth. “Did Scott and Hyena see it, though?”

  “Oh yeah. That part was badass.” Hazel bit her lip and turned toward the stage now that Chance was finally looking serious about speaking.

  “Wolf did a nice thing, though. Right?” Claire seemed intent on improving Hazel’s impression of Chance’s best friend.

  “He’s setting me up on dates tonight, so I don’t think I rocked his world. He’s mean, anyway.” Hazel pretended to dust off her shoulder to show Claire how little she cared.

  “Oh. I didn’t know that. I’m sorry, honey.” Claire patted Hazel’s leg.

  Chance started in on how his name should be everyone’s mantra for the evening—take a chance.

  Claire whispered in Hazel’s ear, “I’m going to take so much of Chance in my throat tonight I’ll gag on it.”

  Hazel could feel a smile start despite her fairly shitty mood. “You’re a filthy animal, Claire.”

  “If I get enough wine in me, I’ll be the filthiest animal that has ever been in that man’s bed.” Claire made her hands into claws and growled.

  Wolf tapped them both on the shoulder as Chance dismissed the crowd. It was matchmaking time.

  “You’re my priority tonight, Hazel. You get matched up first.” She could see the tattoo on his forearm in her peripheral vision. It made her heart race.

  She wanted him to say he was her match. Where that thought came from, she wasn’t sure, but her heart was hoping he wanted to kiss her again. That the kiss in the elevator had been as good for him as it'd been for her.

  “I have a guy who might work out for you. Which is a goddamned miracle, considering your felonious tendencies.” Wolf took his hand away, and she and Claire stood.

  “You into role play, Wolfie? She’s the prisoner and you’re the warden?” Claire fake-boxed him as Chance came up behind her. He put his hands on his new fiancée’s hips.

  Hazel felt her own blush and spied a faint one on Wolf’s cheeks, as well.

  “Hazel’s match is right over there. Tonight can count as the first date in the contract's fine print contract. You might as well get a head start. If you knock out those five dates and manage to not find your soul mate, then you can get your money back.”

  Hazel wasn’t sure if she was more angry that he was pointing her toward another man or insinuating that getting her a refund without her having to pimp herself out would take so long.

  “It takes ten days for your bank to clear the check, right? I think I’d rather wait.” Hazel refused to look in the direction of the man she was due to be set up with.

  “Well, it takes ten business days, and you know next week is a bank holiday on Monday. After your check clears, I’ll write you a refund check. Does your bank have a hold period for large funds, too?” Wolf looked down at his clipboard while she realized if he refunded her money with a check, her bank would also hold it for ten days.

  “You devious bastard. Just refund it in cash.” Hazel was feeling her anger rise.

  Wolf looked up and seemed to take a second to stare at her before responding. “You complete five dates that I match? And they all fail? And you report directly to me why they fail? I’ll take a chance on your check act
ually not bouncing and refund you cash.” He stepped closer. “And you have to give them a real shot. I have to agree that the reason not to date the guy is valid.”

  Hazel stepped into his personal space and poked him in the chest. “Fine. Do your best, Booty Camp Overlord. And if you set me up with a serial killer…”

  Claire filled in the usual threat that Hazel had used on her in the past. “She’ll haunt you and all of your descendants forever after she’s dead.”

  “Fair enough. Go meet Brent. He’s a contractor. Self-made man. Great match. Don’t be a bitch.” Wolf pointed to a guy in a nice suit holding a drink.

  Chance kissed Claire’s cheek and held out an elbow to Hazel. She growled at Wolf as she passed and let Chance take her to the new guy. As they got closer she realized Brent's hair had frosted blond tips.

  Chance made the introductions, and Brent had a nice smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes as he held out his hand to Hazel.

  “Feel free to kiss the ring.”

  Hazel noticed Brent had a large gold pinkie ring on the hand he was offering her to shake.

  “I’m good. Thanks.”

  Chance left them to have their “date.”

  Hazel could almost feel Wolf staring at the back of her head.

  Chapter 9

  It’s Fine

  Wolf watched Hazel’s stiff body language with Brent and smiled internally. Brent wasn’t making a good impression. After finding three guys in the room who had great energies for Hazel, Wolf picked a guy who couldn’t be worse for her. He had no rational explanation for it.

  It wasn’t like his palms itched to touch her the second Hazel had shimmied past him coming in the theater door. It wasn’t like her gorgeous face was highlighted by the severe bun she wore. Or the fact that he spent a good ten minutes trying to decide which way he liked her hair better—soft and loose or high on her head.

  Okay, he maybe had a huge crush on her, but she was a client and seemed like a bitch. He’d deal with the attraction with some vigorous self-love for the next seven or so weeks or find a nice girl who wasn’t involved with Booty Camp at all. No dating clients was his rule. Strictly enforced. The customers had to feel safe and trust them, and if the staff was hitting on all the singles who walked in the door, his whole business would become a joke.

  At least no one was on to him.

  Wolf excused himself from Claire and went back to his office to avoid seeing Hazel with Brent.

  He hadn't even sat down for a moment when Chance walked in and closed the door behind him. “Well, you have a huge boner for Hazel. What the hell is up?”

  Wolf tossed up his hands and leaned back in his chair. “Oh, fuck you.”

  “Okay, I’m no professional matchmaker, but I’ve learned some shit here with you. Chemistry between you and Hazel? Off the charts. Chemistry between her and that doorknob out there? Not even there. I think she may even punch him before the night is over. You always pair douchebags with hollow sluts. And they work out great.” Chance sat on top of the old desk, and it groaned from his huge weight.

  “Don’t break the desk, Hulk.” Wolf swatted at Chance with the folder on his desk.

  Chance didn’t move. “Explain yourself.”

  “Go outside and mack on your new woman and leave me be. I know what I’m doing. Hazel is a pain in the ass and will be a tough person to match. She needs to learn what she hates first. You know I do that sometimes.” Wolf opened up his folder next to Chance’s giant thigh and tried to focus on who his B matches would be tonight.

  “Do you know what she does for a living?” Chance wasn’t leaving just yet.

  “Yeah. She's a teacher. She likes bossing people around. Probably has control issues.” He pulled out the picture of Brent. This one would actually be the tough match. Wolf didn’t like his energy at all. But he took money from everyone. Even assholes.

  “She’s a special education teacher.” Chance stood then.

  Wolf looked at his lap. Shit. His sister, Faith, had had special needs, and she’d passed away at eighteen. He loved her so much with all of his heart. The tattoo that wrapped around his forearm was a stylized version of his sister’s favorite cartoon dragon. He missed Faith every day. Chance knew this.

  “Low blow,” was all he had to say.

  Chance put a huge hand on Wolf’s shoulder. “You seem to have a preconceived notion about her, and you’re normally always right about people. But as far as I’m concerned, anyone who does that job every day can’t be written off.”

  With that, his best friend left.

  Wolf touched his tattoo. He wanted to go out and kiss Hazel again right now. Pull her away from Brent and into his arms. In front of everyone. Which was, of course, the last thing he could allow himself to do.

  It was like wishing for her made her appear. She was angry, and she didn’t bother to knock before she flung open his door. “You ass clown.”

  Chapter 10

  Set Up by a Maniac

  with a Maniac

  Hazel caught the office door before it bounced back and hit her, and then she slammed it shut. “You think you’re some sort of matchmaker? What the living hell is going on in your brain? You’re a maniac and you set me up with a maniac.”

  Wolf shook his head. “You burned through that one quick. Tell me why he didn’t work for you?”

  “Oh, is this part of the contractually obligated after-date rundown? Because you have to decide if I can make up my own mind, you sexist pig?” She curled her hands into fists.

  “What does that even mean?” He gestured to the chair across from him.

  “You’re a professional matchmaker, correct?” She took the seat and glowered at him and his long lashes and stupid high cheekbones.

  “I run this business, if that’s what you're asking.” Wolf twirled a pen between his fingers.

  “Okay, in what world does a guy start a conversation by asking me to kiss his ring? And then proceed to tell me how he got a blow job at a gas station last week and almost got arrested for it, which would have been bad because the girl doing the sucking was married. How do you think that would go down with my dad? When I introduced them?”

  Wolf put down the pen and drummed his fingers. “Okay, that’s a fair point. I wouldn’t recommend any guy saying that to a woman on a first date.”

  “Date? That wasn’t a date. That was eight minutes of my life I’ll never get back. It did, ironically make me eight hundred percent madder at you. So there’s that.” She leaned forward, ready to pounce on Wolf.

  “So you don’t consider that a date? Then you still have five left. Fine by me.” Wolf gave her a slow smile.

  “Oh, that counts as two. Because I want to go home and take a long hot shower to get the way he looked at me out of my mind.” She shivered.

  Wolf seemed angry for a second but then acquiesced. “Fine. That one counts for two.”

  “Finally, you agree to something.”

  Hazel’s cell phone vibrated in her pocket. She pulled it out and was completely puzzled because she was getting a call from Scott. “What the hell? Why is my dickbag ex calling me?” She said it to herself, yet out loud, and answered with a tentative, "Hello?"

  “Hey. What are you up to?” Scott sounded chill. Well, maybe a little nervous, she switched him to speakerphone by accident. Her phone locked her out, but the call continued.

  “Why are you calling me, Scott?” Hazel stood and turned away from Wolf to try and get some privacy.

  “I just wanted to know what you were up to.”

  “My life. I’m up to living my life. Which doesn’t include you unless I have to cover my ears while you bang the laughing hyena on my ceiling.”

  Hazel heard Wolf’s chair scrape on the floor and his footfalls come up behind her.

  “I miss you. Seeing you last night with that dirtbag made me miss you.” Scott cleared his throat.

  Wolf was behind her and made a disgusted noise. Hazel turned, and if she’d liked Wolf, she could hav
e easily hugged him—he was that close. He offered his opinion on Scott.

  “That guy just wants what he can’t have.” Wolf looked angry.

  And that made Hazel want to drop the phone and Wolf’s pants at the same time. What the hell was it about this guy that got her so fired up?

  “Is he with you right now? You know he’s just after a little local tail. I saw him on TV earlier today. He works at the Booty Camp. I mean, talk about being a desperate loser. He’s setting people up at a dating factory? Anyway, I wanted to warn you and see what you’re doing later.” Scott cleared his throat again.

  “I’m seriously confused right now. You have a girlfriend.” Hazel made eye contact with Wolf.

  “That doesn’t mean you and I can’t be friends with benefits. I know how to make things work for you, if you know what I mean.” Scott dropped his voice an octave. His sex voice.

  Wolf snatched the phone out of her hand.

  “Scott? Your name is Scott? Why am I not surprised? Every Scott I've ever met was a self-absorbed mama’s boy. Yes, I’m with her. No, she won’t be around later, so stick your dick in a garbage disposal and turn it the fuck on, how about that?” Wolf ended the call and held out her phone to her.

  “Why’d you do that?” She accepted it back and tucked it in her folded arms.

  He ran his hand through his hair and then scratched his chin. “Um. You needed help. It’s just a Booty Camp service. Ridding clients of unhealthy exes.”

  “So is that why you kissed me like I was the last woman on the planet last night? A service?” She lifted her eyebrows and waited for his response.

  “I told you. I didn’t want him being a jerk to you. Until you’re not our client anymore, your love life is my concern. And I don’t want your match screwed up by blasts from the past.” Wolf went back behind his desk.

  Hazel went over to it and put her hands on top of the papers he was pretending to read. “But it’s okay to make me talk to that guy out there who saw fit to put his penis into our very first conversation? That’s okay?”