Booty Camp Dating Service

by Debra Anastasia

  Wolf thought for a second and then shook his head once.

  “Well, he’s out there with the next match making her life miserable, I’m sure. So you better step up to the plate and go out there and kiss her for her own good. Just like you did to me last night.” Hazel walked over to the door and pulled it open. “Go on now.”

  She waited, knowing she'd caught him. He’d kissed her last night out of some odd sense of pity, but he’d made her date someone else not fifteen minutes ago. It wasn’t fair.

  Wolf stood up and walked past her, eyeing her like she might explode, and then went to find Brent, the blond-tipped penis talker.

  He must have mentioned something to Chance on the way over because they were a pair by the time they were escorting Brent out the front door. Brent started cursing and fighting while Chance promised they would refund the man’s money.

  After the man had been set outside the theater, Wolf walked back to his office and bowed to her. She was leaning against the doorjamb.

  “Happy now?”

  “No. For Pete’s sake, that guy harasses me and gets his money back! You’re incredible.” She gave him double middle fingers and pushed past him. She wasn’t waiting for him to escort her home—or anyone else, for that matter.

  Chapter 11

  Well, There She Goes

  He watched her leave and felt the regret of seeing her go. He wasn’t allowed to harbor that feeling for her at all. She was a client. And he could hear his mother and grandmother’s warnings about the state of his karma because he was monetizing the family “gift.”

  They’d warned him about his marriage. That he was forcing it to prove them wrong. And after his wife left, he'd spent an entire month drunk. They’d been right.

  Chance had pulled Wolf out of his house and forced him to go back to work. There were too many people waiting for their happy endings for him to give up. The irony was vivid.

  He pulled Hazel’s picture out of the desk. He’d set her up with a man he knew wouldn’t work out. Instead of the clearly nice guys who had very complementary resumes and energies.

  Wolf wouldn’t think about why he was sabotaging her. Or refusing to refund her money when he could clearly cover the cost. Booty Camp was a national sensation. He even had to hire someone to watch his money and manage his investments. He simply didn’t have the time that kind of money required.

  Chance knocked on the open door, his new fiancée trailing behind and then breaking the silence.

  “Where’s Hazel?”

  “She left. She’s going to have to go on a weekday date now to meet the terms of her fine print.” Wolf tucked her picture back in the desk without either of them noticing what he was looking at.

  Claire pulled her phone out of her purse. “She texted me.”

  She left the office after giving Wolf a dirty look, obviously trying to make a phone call.

  Chance took the seat Hazel had vacated just minutes before. “Okay. Let’s talk about the Wednesday night dates. I think we’re going to have a hell of a crowd out there tonight. Lots of B matches. Almost like your head wasn’t in the game—if I was going to hazard a guess.”

  His huge friend cracked his knuckles.

  “My head is fine. Some cases are harder than others. We’ll do a B match night on Tuesday. I’ll spend time with the pictures between now and then. It’ll be fine.” Wolf took the list Chance pulled out of his pocket.

  “All of these were unsatisfactory?” Wolf was surprised. There was easily double the amount of people who normally had to go on another date. It was troubling.

  “Yeah. Maybe you should go on a date before you do your next session. Get rid of some of this block you have all of a sudden.” Chance stood as Claire entered the room and ended her call.

  “Well, she’s almost home. She’s not a huge fan of yours, I gotta say.” She slid next to Chance and wrapped her arm around his waist.

  When they were together, the energy between them almost glittered. They would work out. And then Wolf came to the crushing realization that he would most likely be leaving his best friend in Garville when Booty Camp ambled on to the next tour date.

  “Yeah. Okay. Give out the information we need the clients to have. Then you crazy kids can get the hell out of here and spend some time together.” Wolf waved them out the door.

  Chance being in mad, crazy love for the first time in his life would most likely free up Wolf to wallow in his own head drama without interference.

  He shuffled the pictures in front of him and tried to make some new matches. He forced himself to pull out her picture from last night. The too-tight top and the wild hair were amazing, but tonight’s version of Hazel seemed much closer to her personality. And he spent way too much time imagining unwinding her long hair from the tight bun she wore than was good for him.

  Chapter 12

  And there’s Scott

  Hazel got out of the cab she'd managed to snag when she stormed out of Booty Camp. She was so done with hanging out and waiting to find out that everyone had a perfect match besides her. Honestly, she couldn’t get her money back, but when she looked at the reviews for the business online, they were all aces. Love-struck fools would not stop going on about how successful the camp was.

  So her heart had started some stupid hoping. Wishing, even. That maybe instead of getting her money back in a timely fashion, she might even get the man of her dreams. She pictured telling her grandchildren that she’d found their thousand-dollar grandpa. Or that he still owed her a thousand dollars. Whatever. Something cute.

  As she jabbed the button to call the elevator, she thought about the kiss Wolf had laid on her the night before. And his protective response to Scott on the phone.

  She sighed. She could even make the literally foolproof Booty Camp equation crap its pants.

  The doors slid open to reveal Scott in jeans and a tank. With his guns out. Damn it. She had a weakness for arms and armpit hair. It was all very sexual. And he knew it. In their five-month relationship, she’d often told him how much she liked the look on him.

  He hit her with his best smolder. “Hey, baby.”

  She stepped to the side so he could get out and gestured with her hand for him to vacate.

  “Nope. I’m going up. Just had to switch my laundry from the washer to the dryer.”

  He caught the door and held it open for her.

  She had no other choice but to get on the elevator with him.

  “So, your new boyfriend is possessive as shit, huh?” Scott was standing too close.

  “He’s not my boyfriend.” She looked at the elevator buttons and wondered if she pressed the button again and again, would the elevator go faster.

  “Is that so? Tara’s not here tonight. If you know what I mean.” Scott bumped her shoulder with his.

  She’d told this man she loved him less than three months ago. Her body still remembered what he could do to it. But her brain remembered that he was doing those same things to another body, too.

  Hazel stepped out on her floor, and he followed her. “You live upstairs.”

  Scott followed her all the way to her door. “I know. I just wanted to make sure that you know.”

  Hazel was more than confused by this sudden swing in Scott’s attitude. Maybe he always needed a piece on the side? She unlocked her door, stepped into her apartment, and closed the door in his face.

  She ignored his knock and texted Claire that Scott had followed her. It was insane.

  Claire made sure to remind her what a douchebag Scott was. And that a quickie to relieve stress wasn’t worth the emotional attachment. And she was right. Hazel knew she was worth more than that. Even if she was such a problem that she’d burned through her first date at Booty Camp in less than two minutes. In a place where people were guaranteed to find a match. Claire went to her closet and changed into short shorts and a sleep tank. Saturday was a dead deal.

  In the mirror, she unraveled her hair from the bun she had it in. It had great v
olume. She shook it out, grimacing at the weird hair pain that followed that type of style.

  Her cell phone rang. It was a number she didn’t recognize. Maybe Hyena had a landline and Scott was calling her from that.

  She let it roll to voice mail as she got under her fluffy white comforter. Then Hazel hit the button to listen to the message on speakerphone. It was Wolf.

  “Listen, Hazel. Claire just told me that your ex-boyfriend was sniffing around. I just wanted to make sure you were still single. You can’t get your money back if you’re dating or involved with someone. It’s not fair to the other clients. Okay. Just so we're clear.”

  That call ended, and her voice mail started auto playing unintentionally saved messages. Ironically, the next one was an old one from Scott.

  “Hey, baby. Just wanted to let you know I need to see you tonight. Wear the good sex clothes.”

  The date stamp on this one was from the night they broke up. He'd known he was going to break her heart. Scott heard her say that she was in love with him, and still made sure he finished.

  Men sucked. In her messages, she had one telling her not to be a disappointment, and another getting ready for his big date to disappoint her. Because she wasn’t enough.

  It was not a great night as she curled around her phone and tried her best to go to sleep.

  Chapter 13

  And Work on Monday

  Working as an elementary special education teacher was a saving grace. After spending Sunday in her pajamas, Hazel was ready for work on Monday.

  The needs in front of her were so immediate and varied she couldn’t wallow in her own pity party.

  She had six students, and each needed something different. Mackenzie had autism and was working hard with her task board. She loved to spend time on the classroom’s computer as a reward. Jonah was in a wheelchair and had limited mobility. Hazel was perfecting a program that would work with the tray on his wheelchair and his right hand to help him communicate. Teaching Mackenzie, Jonah, and their other classmates life skills along with their modified curriculum was a filling day. An exhausting one that was challenging and rewarding. It took limitless patience, which Hazel surely didn’t have in all aspects of her life, but in this classroom, she could always tap into her inner calm to be what the kids needed.

  Unlike the other teachers who got a planning period every day, her students needed her all day save for her thirty-minute lunch break when the school nurse and a paraeducator would step in and help the kids eat their meals.

  And that’s when Claire snagged her on Monday. On her way to the teachers' lounge for some food and a quick bathroom break. “Come eat your boring salad in my office. We have to talk wedding plans.”

  Hazel used the office bathroom before sitting down in the comfy chair in Claire’s corner setup where parents often sat.

  The wall was papered with drawings of Claire and for Claire from the students. She recognized a new one that looked like it was Mackenzie’s favorite style. “That from my girl?” Hazel pointed with her fork.

  “Yes. I was going to tell you about it. A bird.”

  Hazel had figured that out. “Of course.” Mackenzie’s favorite thing in life was birds. So it was a huge compliment to Claire that Kenzie had gifted her with one, even if it was made out of wax and paper.

  “And before you ask—yes, I had her make eye contact when she was speaking. So formal. But she went out of her normal routine to give it to me in the lobby this morning.” Claire smiled.

  Success. Working in a school where almost all the staff was on board with helping the kids reach their personal goals was really helpful in her kids' development.

  “Thank you.” Hazel smiled back.

  “You don’t have to thank me. I should be thanking you. I love to see the progress your kids make, nice and steady. You’ve got a talent, lady.” Claire started looking at her engagement ring again.

  Hazel slipped right into the next conversation. “You still excited?”

  It seemed like the right question to ask; she didn’t want Claire to think she was anything but supportive. Especially after the beautiful pep talk Claire had just lathered all over her.

  “It’s been the best weekend of my life. He’s so much more than just the talking head at Booty Camp. He has dreams, and he’s the first man I’ve ever dated who wasn't threatened by how focused I am with my career. I mean, usually they either think I finger-paint all day or I’ll make the best wife ever because the kids they want me to crank out will listen to me.” Claire shook her head and touched her ring once more.

  “Aren’t you going to eat?” Hazel took another bite of her Cobb salad.

  “Already did. Couldn’t take it anymore. I had so much sex this weekend I was starving.”

  “Good for you.” Hazel tried not to be bitter about all the sex she wasn’t getting.

  “Listen, Wolf was super upset that Scott was hitting on you.” Claire took her ring off and put it back on and pulled it off again.

  “I know. He left a message. Told me if I damaged the goods with a non-Booty Camp approved date, I wouldn’t get my money back. This whole scene is a little too eighteenth century for me.” Hazel tossed her salad with her fork.

  “That’s crazy. He was pissed because he was jealous. I could tell.” Claire put her ring on and left it while she tapped her fingernails on her desk blotter. “I swore he was going to call you for a date.”

  “Hardly. He gave me one pity kiss. And now he's just a nitwit. That guy he set me up with got his money back! Because he was being creepy. Maybe I need to talk about my penis more to people.” Hazel paused in her tirade to take a drink from her water bottle.

  “Well, Chance thinks you and Wolf are a good match. He said Wolf is a really great friend, and he has issues beyond his control. Basically, he said he sets up a ton of happy endings but thinks he’ll never get one himself.” Claire pulled her lips to one side in a grimace.

  “I will say he knows how to kiss, but Chance is projecting this stuff on Wolf and me. The man hates me.” Hazel looked at Kenzie’s picture again. The girl was working hard on the feathers on her birds, which was great for her fine motor skills.

  “Speaking of hate, Tuesday is the next Booty Camp session. It’s a more staff-involved date situation where you and your match get assistance from a professional to explore your similar interests.” Claire shook her mouse and the screen came to life with a picture of her and Chance outside of the theater.

  “You move fast.” Hazel nodded to the screen.

  “You have no idea. I’m like a puma in the bedroom.” Claire pretended to twerk in her chair.

  Hazel replied, “I was eating.”

  “Okay, so Tuesday night, wear your favorite perfume. I’ll be coming with you because I’ll get to hang out with Chance during any off time he gets. He said this usually seals the deal for the first round, and then they'll start the process again until it’s time for the Booty Camp tour to move on.” Claire pulled up an email that had almost those exact words on it. As if she'd memorized the thing.

  “What will you and Chance do? Where does he go next?” Hazel closed up her Tupperware with her fork inside and worked on the rest of her water.

  Claire sighed. “He goes to Townola next. And that’s over two hours away. We’re not sure how we're going to manage. I know we have to get married in the next month, so tomorrow we’ll start the process in order to get the paperwork filed in time.”

  Hazel wasn’t sure how Claire could commit to a relationship without having a clear plan to see one another on a regular basis. It all seemed rushed. They'd known each other for one weekend.

  “He’s the one for me. When you know, you just know.” Claire spoke with the dreamy afterglow of a teenager in love.

  Hazel looked at the clock. She had to meet her kiddos in the cafeteria so she could go outside with them for recess. Kenzie needed to be coached on making friends, and Jonah loved to be put in the swing designed specifically for kids in wheelchairs.<
br />
  “I’ve got to run.”

  “Can I tell Chance you’ll be there Tuesday? He wants to make sure your match is perfect.” Claire stood as well, clearly headed to another part of her busy day.

  Hazel thought of how she went to bed curled around her phone on Saturday. She hated that she was being forced into these dates, but she really didn’t have a choice. She wanted her money back. “Yeah, give him the okay.”

  Claire looked a little too pleased with herself, which gave Hazel the impression that her friend was up to something.

  Chapter 14

  She May Have Told Him

  Wolf had Googled Scott to no avail. He needed the asshat’s last name to make any headway on his stalking. He'd figured out what had bothered him so much about the guy. It was his energy. It was off. He certainly wasn’t a match to Hazel—that was the truth.

  And Claire had told him way too much about the details of the ending of their relationship.

  That the Ken doll had left her after screwing her—and made sure to keep his beer cold while he literally fucked her over for the last time—made Wolf want to punch pretty much everything and everyone.

  Hazel was a fucking gorgeous girl. Just stunning. Her lips were made for kissing, nice and slow and then desperate and quick. When he’d taken her in the elevator and held her body against his, he'd known she would not be a disappointment naked. Her breasts were the perfect size. And her ass had just enough give that he could get two handfuls of it.

  Jesus he was getting hard just thinking about her. Her energy when she was at the peak of her pleasure would be a thing to behold. Wasted on a guy who took the time to trim his armpit hair or whatever that dude did to jingle his bells.

  He was getting so fired up he was starting to picture stuff with her. Holding her. Brushing her hair away from her face. And these were dangerous thoughts. Because as difficult as it was to have his wife leave him, he'd always known they didn’t work. His grandmother and mother were right. He’d tried to force it, force fate to give him what he wanted.