Adventures In Funeral Crashing (Funeral Crashing #1)

by Milda Harris

  Now, I couldn’t imagine Suzie having anything to do with the murders, but there were a lot of weird coincidences. I also couldn’t ignore the idea that sometimes the quietest ones could be the most deadly. I looked back at her. I knew that Suzie had known at least two of the victims. Did she know Troy? Suzie mentioned that Liz had talked about him, but I hadn’t asked her if she knew him. Did Suzie have any sort of a motive to try and murder those girls? I thought for a moment and then before I could convince myself not to, I walked toward Suzie.

  “Hey Suzie,” I said, walking up to her lab table.

  Suzie looked up from her book. “What’s up?”

  “Did you know Troy at all? Liz’s boyfriend?” I asked.

  “Wha-a-t?” Suzie stammered nervously and put down her book.

  “Did you ever meet Troy Matthews?” I asked again.

  “Once,” Suzie admitted after a moment.

  “When?” I asked.

  “At the animal shelter,” Suzie offered.

  “What was he doing there?” I sat down next to her.

  Suzie shifted her chair a fraction of an inch away from me. “He was there visiting Liz.”

  I pressed on, “What did you think of him?”

  Suzie shrugged, “He was cute, but I know he wouldn’t go for me or anything.”

  I raised my eyebrows, “Why not?”

  “Most guys don’t,” Suzie admitted, looking sad. “I’m too quiet and shy people say, but they just usually don’t.”

  I knew how Suzie felt on that account. Guys didn’t normally fall all over themselves for me either. At least, not until last night, when they got into a fight over me. That was an anomaly, though.

  “I hear you,” I said, trying to think of my next question.

  Suzie seemed suddenly anxious. Was I getting to her? I wasn’t even sure what I was getting at. Was she crazy over Troy too? Were all girls? What was it about him? I felt like I was in that movie There’s Something About Mary except Troy was Mary. Although, even I had to admit…Troy was pretty cute.

  And then Suzie suddenly blurted it out, “So, I was talking to the girls at the Animal Shelter yesterday and Jenna kept telling me I should just ask Kyle to Homecoming. She was really crazy adamant about going after a guy if you liked him. Anyway, so I thought I’d ask you since you talk to him every day.”

  Finally! I thought. I was right about her and Kyle. But what if Suzie was a murderer? I couldn’t let Kyle date her then. I could barely believe I was saying Suzie and murderer in the same sentence.

  And then something dawned on me, “Suzie, the girl you work with at the animal shelter, Jenna? What’s her last name?”

  Suzie looked confused for a moment. “Jenna Martin. Do you know her?”

  Yes, I knew her, but I only had a few minutes until the bell was going to ring or before Kyle showed up, and took up all Suzie’s attention, “She knew Liz too?”

  “Yeah,” Suzie said, wondering where I was going.

  Funny, Jenna hadn’t mentioned that. Although, Ethan and I hadn’t thought to ask her either, mostly because we had just assumed she didn’t.

  “And she introduced you to Olivia Reynolds?” I continued.

  “Well, yeah, for the sewing class,” Suzie was getting distracted, looking toward the doorway for Kyle. “Why?”

  My brain was spinning. Jenna knew at least three of the victims. She had been around Suzie and her books. And, now the most important question…

  “Do you know if she knew Troy Matthews?” I had to ask.

  Suzie frowned, “Liz’s boyfriend? I don’t know. He was at the shelter that one day. Jenna might have been there. Uh…”

  Suzie thought for a moment. My mind was racing. This was the most important detail.

  Suzie nodded, “You know, now that I think about it, Jenna didn’t meet him that day because she had a girl emergency or something. You know, her period. I leant her a tampon.”

  I still couldn’t be sure Jenna didn’t know Troy. Maybe she faked the emergency so she didn’t have to see him because she did know him. I couldn’t be sure. Then again, to be fair, even Suzie knew a fair amount of the people involved in all of this and I really doubted she was a murderer despite the coincidence in books. It was all so involved and confusing. Why couldn’t investigating a murder be simple and straightforward?

  Still, it sure sounded like Jenna, in addition to Troy, knew all of the murder victims – from Liz to Vanessa to Olivia. The only person I couldn’t be sure that Jenna knew was Melissa Kent. Jenna knew about just as many people as Troy did. Jenna was easily up for grabs as the murderer now. But what was her motive? Why would she kill her sister or any of the other girls? Was it about Troy? Was she just crazy?

  Suzie was looking at me, puzzled. “Why do you want to know about Jenna?”

  I shook my head, “I just realized I know her too.”

  “Oh. Do you think she has something to do with…” Suzie left the question open ended.

  I smiled, “I don’t know, but there’s some weird coincidences.”

  Suzie thought for a moment, “Uh, well, I don’t know if this is important, but Jenna was there that day too, at the Animal Shelter Adoption in the park.”

  I felt my blood run cold, “She was?”

  Suzie nodded. That put Jenna in the right place to have gone after Liz.

  I thought for a moment and then said, “But you said Liz left alone? And, that she was going to see Troy?”

  “Yeah,” Suzie said.

  “Where was Jenna at that time?” I asked.

  “I don’t know. Wait, she left early. She said she had to go home,” Suzie said and then added, “She and Liz did talk before that, though. I saw them, but Liz seemed totally fine. I saw them hug and Liz was smiling, so I don’t think they had a fight or anything.”

  “But Liz definitely got in her car alone?” I asked again.

  “Yes,” Suzie replied.

  I thought about what I knew. Troy and Jenna both had potential access to Liz within the hour that she died. Troy claimed not to have seen Liz for a few days, much less the night of her death, although if he was guilty, he was lying. Still, what if Liz just never made it to Troy’s because Jenna killed her? Even if they had gotten along at the park, she could have followed Liz, forced her to pull over, and killed her. It had to be one of them.

  I saw Kyle walk into the room and head for our lab table. Suzie saw him too. Her gaze followed his every step. She was so innocent. There was no way that she could be the killer.

  I nodded at Suzie, “Please ask Kyle to the dance. He’s dying to ask you, but for whatever reason he thinks you’ll say no.”

  Suzie looked horrified, “I wouldn’t say no. I swear. You really think he’d say yes?”

  I smiled at her, “Definitely. Go ask him.”

  Suzie looked at me hopefully. I gave her a playful push and she got up and walked toward my lab table, where Kyle was trying not to look at us.

  Suzie walked over to Kyle and stood there awkwardly. How could I have thought even for a moment that Suzie was a killer? She couldn’t even say anything to Kyle about the dance and Kyle was gazing up at her like she was a goddess.

  “Hey, Suzie,” was all Kyle managed to say.

  Suzie pounced on it as a good sign and said, in the most rapid way possible, “Kyle, do you want to go to Homecoming with me?”

  Kyle looked like he had been shot, but in a good way. It took him a moment, but suddenly he had a huge grin, “Yes!”

  Then they just stood there grinning at each other awkwardly. It was so cute! I sighed. At least they were getting their happily ever after. I still didn’t have a date for the Homecoming Dance and I was neck deep involved in a rapidly confusing and potentially deadly murder investigation. At least I had narrowed it down – Troy or Jenna, Jenna or Troy. My mind was going over and over all the details. I was going to figure this out if it killed me. I hoped it didn’t.

  I checked my Facebook email in the library quickly before lunch, but t
here was still no response from Jenna. Maybe because she is the murderer, I couldn’t help thinking. Then again, I had to be fair, there was no voicemail from Troy yet either, calling me back. They could both have actual lives to deal with. I looked again at the email from Jane Austen. I printed it. Just in case.

  I sat down at my usual lunch table, alone, wondering if Ethan was going to join me. We had parted on such awful terms the night before that I thought things might go back to the way they were before, where he stopped remembering I existed. Even though I still thought I was right, I kind of missed Ethan. I opened up my bag lunch of peanut butter and jelly, a Coke, pretzels, and an apple. It was going to be lonely today at lunch.

  And, then suddenly there was Ethan, sitting down across from me with his own paper bag lunch, “Jenna just left me a message, all freaked out.”

  I almost spit my Coke out all over him, “She did?”

  “Yeah, she did. What did you email her? She just kept saying, ‘What did Kait say to Troy?’” Ethan looked annoyed with me.

  I felt defensive, “I didn’t say anything bad in the email. I only asked her if she was the one who dated Troy.”

  “Well, maybe you should just leave her alone. Troy freaks her out,” Ethan warned.

  Why was Ethan suddenly soooo protective of Jenna? I was mad and wanted to shock him, “Well, maybe that’s because Jenna is the murderer!”

  Ethan started laughing instead. “Jenna? You think Jenna?”

  He couldn’t stop laughing and I was getting super annoyed. “Yes, I do.”

  “But she’s so tiny!” Ethan wiped a tear from his eye.

  I wanted to kill him. “So? She knew everyone, just like Troy. I mean, I don’t know about Melissa Kent, but still.”

  Ethan looked suddenly serious, “How do you know that?”

  “Suzie Whitsett knows Jenna. I hadn’t thought about it before, but I asked her about Jenna today and Jenna knows everyone!” I wanted to go over the evidence again. I was sure the pieces would fit.

  “Except Melissa Kent,” Ethan said stubbornly.

  “Okay, well, I just don’t know about Melissa Kent. She might have known her. Maybe she had her as a math tutor too,” I rationalized. “Or maybe she stalked Troy and saw them together. I don’t know.”

  Ethan opened his lunch bag, “But until you find out, you’re right, you don’t know. It’s a hole in your logic.”

  “A little one,” I was getting angry again.

  Ethan sighed, “Come on, Kait. Jenna is a teeny tiny girl. How in the world could she force a heroin needle into the arms of four girls? Troy is the one with the muscle.”

  “But Jenna’s lying!” I whined.

  Ethan thought for a moment. “Maybe she is lying about Troy. One of the two sisters dated him. We know that. Like I said before, maybe she’s just scared he’ll come after her too. Have you really thought about that?”

  I had thought about it and dismissed it. Although, I guess if I thought my sister had been murdered by my ex-boyfriend, I may not want him to think about murdering me too.

  Ethan continued. “Maybe Troy killed the wrong sister. Maybe he thought he was killing Jenna, but killed Vanessa instead. Have you thought of that? Poor girl. No wonder she’s so freaked out.”

  I sighed.

  Ethan took that as a sign to go on, “And, I mean her sister just died. Do you know how that feels? Give her a break.”

  Ethan was making me feel bad, playing that card. He was right. I didn’t know how it felt to lose a sister. I had no siblings, but I had lost a mother. So, I did know how it felt to lose someone you really cared about and knew for your entire life. I looked at the table still not wanting to be dissuaded from my suspicions.

  Ethan looked at me, “Oh come on, you can be wrong sometimes.”

  I frowned. “I haven’t decided yet if I’m wrong or not. We haven’t cleared anyone.”

  Ethan nodded, “And, that’s something I wanted to talk to you about. I think this is getting dangerous. I mean, you almost kissed a…”

  I looked at him with warning.

  Ethan continued, “…an alleged murderer last night.”

  I snorted, “Please.”

  “Hey, I’m giving you Jenna as a suspect,” Ethan reminded me.

  “Fine,” I said reluctantly. “Then what do you make of this?”

  I pulled the printout of the email from Jane Austen out of my History book and handed it to Ethan. He read it quickly and looked up at me, instantly alarmed.

  “When did you get this?” he asked.

  “Last night after I got home,” I said.

  “This is getting dangerous,” Ethan raked a hand through his hair and read the letter again. I almost forgot to notice how sexy his hair was. Almost.

  “Yeah. I’m totally freaked out,” I said, seriously. “And, see, Jenna doesn’t look so innocent anymore, does she?”

  Ethan smirked at me, “Troy could be totally psychotic too.”

  We were at an impasse on the issue. I voted for Jenna as the suspect and Ethan was still gunning for Troy. Either of us could be right. Or, the murderer could totally blindside both of us and turn out to be Suzie, but I had already dismissed that. Besides, I didn’t need to confuse Ethan any more, so I wasn’t even going to bring Suzie up as a suspect.

  “I’m scared,” I admitted instead.

  Ethan nodded and looked up from his third time reading the letter, “I think we need to get ourselves out of this and hand it over to the people who know what they’re doing.”

  “But, Ethan, the police wouldn’t even listen to us last time!” I pleaded.

  “Well, we have to make them listen,” Ethan looked at me intently, “Come with me after school. Help me convince Detective Dixon that he at least needs to look into Troy Matthews.”

  “And, Jenna Martin,” I reminded him.

  Ethan frowned, “Fine, if you give me Troy, I’ll give you Jenna.”

  “But what proof do we have of anything?” I asked, frustrated.

  Ethan looked at me, “We have proof that Troy and Jenna knew most of the victims. Suzie can place them both potentially there within Liz’s last hour alive.”

  I smirked at him, “But they just think these are overdoses, remember?”

  “Well, then, we’ll have to convince them they’re not. There are plenty of people who would say that Liz was totally unlikely to overdose on heroin,” Ethan offered.

  “Probably not good enough for Detective Dixon,” I said.

  “We have to do something and now we have proof of two letters - one to Liz from Mary Shelley and one to you from Jane Austen. Even Detective Dixon will have to admit that it’s weird. What if the other girls got something like that? This is getting dangerous. So, are you in for coming to the police station with me or what?”

  I frowned at Ethan, torn. “I can’t. I have to work.”

  Chapter 19: Murder Solving

  I did have to go to work. I wasn’t lying. If I showed up late or called in sick again, Anne was going to fire me or at least she should since it would be the zillionth time I’d flaked out in the last two weeks. And, even so, I might have ditched work again, but I was a little annoyed with Ethan. I didn’t think we should go to the police yet. I know I got that email and that was definitely a warning, but we had at the very least a few days before someone came after me. Liz had gotten the email over a week before she was killed. I wanted the killer to have the time to take the bait.

  Ethan could go battle it out with Detective Dixon and his styrofoam cups alone. That guy irked me too. It wasn’t like the Detective was going to listen to something a couple of kids had to say. He had made that abundantly clear. Twice. Ethan was probably wasting his time. I just hoped Detective Dixon did listen when the time came that we really needed him to. Like, if someone really did decide to kill me by overdosing me with heroin or something.

  I was about to get out of my car and walk into work when my phone beeped. Ethan had texted me: Here at the station, waiting. Sure y
ou don’t wanna be here to help?

  I texted back, feeling mean: Can’t. But maybe Troy will come and meet up with me at work, though, if you’re looking for him. Still want to talk to him about Jenna.

  I don’t know what possessed me to write that. I half hoped Ethan actually did think Troy would come visit me at work. Not that Troy would probably ever speak to me again after the way Ethan, my “friend,” had freaked out on him. Still, Troy had said I should call him once I got the whole Ethan thing sorted out, so maybe there was still a chance I could get him to take me to Homecoming. After I made sure he wasn’t a serial killer and all. I mean, it wasn’t like Ethan was going to ask me.

  I threw my cell back into my purse, locked the car, and walked toward the store. It was empty when I walked in, but I saw the glow of Anne’s television through her office window. She must have started her daily movie early. She must still trust me, to have started it before I even got in. I was glad to know that she didn’t think I was a total flake.

  I had just set my purse down behind the counter and was pulling out my copy of Anne of Green Gables that I wanted to finish reading, when I heard the door chimes jingle. I looked up, getting ready to smile and say, hello to a customer. Instead, I froze.

  Troy Matthews had just walked into the store. What was he doing here? I hadn’t actually called him to invite him to visit with me despite my text to Ethan. What was going on? I knew he couldn’t be psychic and besides, I hadn’t told him I worked here. We hadn’t had time to get that far between the interrogating and almost making out the other night. He hadn’t even called me back from the night before. Troy finally spotted me and started walking toward the counter.

  I didn’t know what to do, so I simply said, “What are you doing here?”

  “You IMed me,” he said, walking closer. “And you left me a voicemail.”