Avoiding Alpha

by Aileen Erin

  He caught a nose pin that Chris threw his way. “This cute chick got it for me.” He winked at me, and plugged his nose. There was nothing sexy about a guy wearing a clothes pin, but the way he walked, so confidently, without making a sound, he almost made it work. Almost, but not quite.

  I turned to see what the other guys were doing. Adrian was shaving a block of what looked like white soap with a peeler into the nasty blood mixture. It looked like curls of Parmesan cheese floating in upchuck.

  Chris was slowly pouring a blue gelatinous mess into a vial through a glass funnel. It was barely moving. Sloping down the funnel little bit by little bit.

  “Do you want help pouring that? I could mush it—”

  “No!” Adrian and Chris said.

  I held up my hands. “Okay. Okay. Jeeze.”

  Adrian sighed. “It can’t be touched by anything other than glass right now. It’s really volatile.”

  I widened my eyes at Dastien, who shrugged. Apparently I was the third-place witch now. I’d have to make a point of catching up on the bruja training after all this was behind us.

  “We set up the roof for the ritual while everything was baking. We’re going to need Meredith there in fifteen.”

  Dastien nodded. “I’ll get her and Dr. Gonzales.”

  “That’s probably a good idea,” Adrian said.

  I shuddered. I didn’t have anything against the good doctor, but her love of needles…those I had something against.

  He brushed a kiss on my forehead. “Be back in a few.”

  I tapped my fingers on the table. Nerves were working their way back into my thoughts. “Am I forgetting something?”

  “Maybe you want to read the incantation? It can’t hurt to be familiar with it.”

  “Probably a good idea.” I remembered what Rosa said, that the words themselves didn’t matter, but it would be good to have the gist of it down. It was going to be my will, my faith, my heart that made this spell work or not work.

  The pressure had only gotten heavier in the last few hours. I’d never done anything like this before. It wasn’t anything like saying a few words and tossing vials at vampires. Meredith was my best friend.

  I took the spell book from Adrian. “I’m going to make it work.”

  My voice didn’t waiver as I spoke, and I almost believed myself.

  ***

  The night was quiet as we walked out on the roof. Air conditioning units and their ventilation pipes stuck out in various places. I appreciated the three-foot-high ledge along the edge. Heights and me weren’t exactly the best of friends. Meredith might argue differently, given that in my first two weeks at St. Ailbe’s, I’d jumped out windows no less than four times. I’d walked away from each fall, but I didn’t plan on making a habit of death-defying leaps.

  We walked around the air conditioning units, heading to where the spell area was set up. A Meredith-sized circle was drawn in white chalk on the roof within a circle of candles. The largest candles marked north, south, east, and west, and the smaller ones made up the distance in between. A table was set to the side of the circle. We placed the three beakers on the table. A large copper pot sat on the table, too. The modern day version of a cauldron, apparently.

  “Double, double, toil and trouble,” I said.

  “I thought it was ‘Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble,’” Chris said.

  “No. ‘Double, double, toil and trouble. Fire burn and cauldron bubble.’ Gotta get your Shakespeare learnin’ on, boy.”

  Chris chuckled. “Nerd.”

  “This isn’t a joke, y’all,” Adrian said. “We’re here to be serious. You’ve got to respect the process if it’s going to work.”

  I hadn’t meant to make fun of it. Or him. “I’m sorry. It’s the nerves. This has to work, you know?”

  Dastien and Dr. Gonzales came through the door with another tall blond guy. He was older than the version of him I’d seen in the vision. His hair was longer, past his shoulders and tied back in a low ponytail. He cradled Meredith in his arms. She looked so frail, with her head lolling to the side. Her lungs rattled with every breath. The drugs were keeping her alive, but only barely. He stepped over the chalk, and lowered Meredith into the center of the circle.

  “I should’ve brought her a pillow or something,” Chris mumbled.

  “At least she’s not puking anymore. With any luck, when she wakes up, this will be like a bad dream for her.” Thinking positive was going to be my new thing. Light. I was going to be like the light.

  Her brother stepped up to me. “I’m Max.”

  I shook his hand. “Tessa.”

  He exhaled and stared at his sister. “I hear you’re going to help her.”

  “I’ll do my best. But if you’d rather I not…I mean it’s not a guarantee. It could end up hurting her more or—”

  “No. I’ve heard about it. Your mate and I had a long talk.”

  Huh. That was what Dastien was up to.

  “Meredith doesn’t have much time left. Hours really,” Max said, his voice broke.

  I glanced at Dr. Gonzales and she nodded. “I’m almost out of options in terms of treatments. The sedative I’ve been using isn’t working as well. She’s already built up an immunity. I thought the injections would last longer, but we’re out of time.”

  “And Donovan?” I asked Dastien.

  He shook his head.

  Great. I had never felt so afraid of anything. My best friend’s life was in my hands. The responsibility of it made it hard for me to breathe. I stared at Meredith’s prone form, barely more than skin and bones at this point.

  “You’re her best shot.”

  I swallowed, unable to trust my voice.

  “She might be my sister, but I was fifteen when she was born. It’s almost like she’s my daughter, too. You know? Thank you for helping.”

  I cleared my throat. “Let’s see what happens before throwing out any thank yous.”

  He nodded and went to stand to the side with Dr. Gonzales, Dastien, and Chris.

  “You can do this. Stay positive,” Adrian said.

  I stepped closer to the circle, trying to believe his words. I had to do this. There weren’t any other acceptable options.

  It wasn’t anything hard or complicated. The book said I had to light the candles in a specific order and say some words. I’d written them down on a piece of scratch paper, but I didn’t think I’d need it. Rosa said that it wasn’t the specific words that mattered, but the intent. That was something that was ingrained in my soul.

  After I lit the candles, all I had to do was combine the three ingredients together in a pot, in a specific order, then light the mixture on fire. When it burned out, I had to blow the ashes over Meredith. If all went well, my spell would settle over the top of Luciana’s spell and quiet the wolf again. I wasn’t sure what kind of sign we’d get if it worked, but I figured at the very least her color would improve.

  Adrian stepped over to the table where he’d placed the components of the potion. “We’ve got everything here. It should work.” His gaze met mine. “This really should work.”

  I didn’t know if he was trying to convince me or himself. The problem was that it didn’t seem that hard. Lighting a few candles and dumping some stuff in a pot, and that was it? It had to be harder than this. Were we missing something?

  What did I know? This wasn’t exactly my area of expertise. I had no other choice but to trust the guys, the book, and myself.

  If it didn’t work, we’d try something else. I had no idea what, but I’d figure something out. “What time is it?”

  “Two minutes to midnight.”

  All right. Game time. “I start with north, right?” I asked to buy myself a moment.

  “Yep,” Dastien said.

  I let out a breath. This was going to work. “Who’s got the lighter?”

  “Oh, right.” Adrian searched the ground and then rushed to the side of nearest AC unit. He brought back a box of long stick matches. “He
re you go.”

  I took a match from the box, and ran it along the rough side. The match flared to life, and I could tell from the sudden stillness around me that I wasn’t the only one holding my breath.

  “Hold this.” I handed the box to Chris as I knelt. “Holy Archangel Michael, defend us in battle,” I started saying the prayer as I pressed the match to the wick. It didn’t light right away. Instead, it was as if the candle waited for me to finish saying the words before bursting into a foot tall flame.

  I nearly fell back, but caught myself and moved to the next candle. With each part of the prayer said, the candles burned higher than natural. When I got to the East candle, the flames changed color, from yellow to orange, growing another foot in height. When I got to the South candle, they turned red and grew taller still.

  It was getting hotter on the roof. I kept a strong grip on the match. It should’ve started to burn down, but the flame hadn’t moved past the match head. I tried not to be freaked out. Instead, I focused on putting good energy into what I was doing. Thinking of light. Putting my love for Meredith into what I said. Following the spell instructions step-by-step, just like the book instructed. Finishing one candle, and then moving on to the next.

  By the time I got to the West, sweat was rolling down my face. My hands were shaking. I pressed the match to the wick, and the flames changed to blue.

  Meredith writhed and moaned on the floor. I froze. Had I done something wrong?

  “Keep going,” Adrian said.

  Chris muttered something, but I couldn’t make out the words.

  I blew out a shaky breath. The need to finish the circle filled my mind. It had to be done. I moved faster than I had before. When I said the words for the last time and brought the match to the candle, the flames merged, forming a wall of flames that burned in a beautiful white light. Pure. I could barely see Meredith inside the ring of fire, but I knew in my soul that she was safe. I cupped my hand along the back of the match, and gently blew it out.

  “Tess. You need to move through this part faster,” Adrian said. “You’re running out of time with the spell’s potency.”

  Shit. Chris pulled me to my feet.

  I stepped over to the table, and wiped my hands on my jeans. I didn’t want to accidentally drop any of the potions. Meredith might not make it until tomorrow, even if we could redo all of this.

  I peeked at the spell book. The nasty blood sludge was the first to go into the pot. Just a half a teaspoon. Then one tablespoon of the ash mixture and two drops of the blue liquid. I had to repeat each step three times.

  “Why didn’t we do this all before?” I asked.

  “Because it has to be fresh. The potion doesn’t last long once it’s mixed.”

  “Right.” I started the process, trying to hurry but at the same time, be meticulous about it. My hands shook as I worked. A feeling of unease moved through me, but I shoved it down. There wasn’t time to question things. I double checked the book, and added the second round of ingredients.

  I thought of good. I was going to help Meredith. I pictured her happy and healthy in my mind.

  When I was done, I stepped back from the table and waited.

  I’d been hoping something would happen as I added everything together, like how the candles changed, but nothing did. Something was wrong. “Are you sure this spell is right?”

  “Yes. Be confident. It won’t work if you aren’t,” Adrian said, and I wanted to punch him. Without meaning to, he was undermining every bit of confidence I had.

  A headache started brewing, making me feel woozy.

  God. I hoped I was bringing the light or whatever the hell I was supposed to be doing.

  I felt Dastien behind me before he put his hands on my shoulders. “Calm, cherie. You can do this.”

  I let out a shaky breath. “Okay. But I’m starting to think this isn’t such a good idea. What if there’s something wrong with the spell? Or with the ingredients? Or something.”

  Chris and Adrian started arguing quietly, but my ears were ringing—making it hard to hear them.

  “No. It’s right. We triple checked it. I promise. This is going to work. Believe in it,” Adrian said.

  “Okay.” But I wasn’t sure I meant it.

  Maybe I was being crazy. Nerves were getting to me, but I was almost done. I shoved the doubts away.

  This was my plan. We were adding to the curse, but it was to help Meredith. Once the wolf was quiet, she’d be fine again.

  Chris handed me a match and held out the box. I ran the tip against the side, and it flared to light. I mustered all the will I could, believing my will was stronger than Luciana’s, and said the words. “May God rebuke this demon, we humbly pray.” I lowered the flaming match to the top of the pot. “Our Lord and Savior, please cast out the demon that holds this child. Bind her soul to you, and let her be free of all impurities. Amen.” As soon as the fire touched the mixture it ignited with an explosion that knocked me on my back.

  “Holy shit. It worked,” Adrian said.

  I scrambled up and looked into the pot. Barely a teaspoon of fine white powder lay in the bottom. I scooped up the powder into my left hand, trying to make sure I got every last little bit. Then I turned to the circle of flames and blew the ash toward Meredith.

  Instead of flying out of my hands, it was as if the little white grains had minds of their own. The powder glided through the air, roiling on nonexistent winds. As it hit the circle of candles, the flames lowered. The grains settled over Meredith, and she moaned.

  The candles grew taller and so bright that I had to block the heat from my face as I fell back a step.

  And then, as suddenly as they’d flared to life, the candles went out. All was still. Only little, barely-there circles of wax on the roof showed they’d ever existed.

  Meredith moaned loader.

  “Meredith?” Adrian asked as he knelt beside her. “You feeling anything?”

  She slowly sat up. “Yeah. I think I feel better.”

  Thank God.

  Max knelt beside her. “Hey, cutie pie.”

  “Max?”

  “Yeah. How’s your wolf? How are you doing?”

  “I’m okay. Actually…” She sat up, and my heart started racing. “I don’t know…” She gasped. “I…I—” She rolled over onto her hands and knees and threw up.

  My limbs felt numb as a trail of blood hit the roof. “Oh fuck.” I stumbled back a few steps. This couldn’t be happening.

  It hadn’t worked. I’d failed.

  I had a second to be upset before Meredith fell on her side, convulsing.

  Chris and Adrian were kneeling beside her. Max reached out to restrain her. “No,” Dr. Gonzales said as she searched for something in her bag. “Don’t! You could hurt her.”

  It felt like an eternity passed as she shook.

  Dr. Gonzales jabbed a shot into Meredith’s arm. She waited a second, but when the convulsions didn’t stop, Dr. Gonzales reached back into her bag. Another shot of meds slowed the convulsions, but they didn’t stop. One more shot and Dr. Gonzales waited as Meredith’s movements slowed.

  Two more shots and Meredith was finally sedated again. It seemed to take forever for her twitching to stop completely as the drug worked its way through her body.

  When she was finally still, the doctor picked up the discarded pile of shots with shaking hands. “I need to get more meds. I’m not sure how long this will hold her. Let’s get her back to the infirmary.”

  Max gathered Meredith up in his arms again. No one said anything as they left.

  I met Adrian’s gaze. “I did something wrong. I messed up.”

  “No, I don’t think you did.”

  No matter what the guys said, I had to have done something wrong. “I fucked it up. That’s the only answer.” I hugged myself as I shivered.

  “Maybe we had it wrong from the beginning.” Adrian cursed.

  “How? What did we miss?” I felt lightheaded, and swayed on my feet.
>
  Dastien’s scent hit me before he wrapped his arms around my waist. I leaned into him as I looked out over the edge of the building. The whole roof smelled like burnt candles, potion, and Meredith’s blood and puke, but I didn’t care. I stared out into the night, and wondered how I’d messed up so badly. I’d followed the spell exactly like it was written, but something had gone wrong.

  The hardest part to swallow was that I’d hurt Meredith, and that made me ill. I shivered in the night.

  “It wasn’t your fault,” Dastien said.

  “Yes, it was. I meddled in something I know nothing about, and now Meredith is paying the price.” It wasn’t fair. “I should’ve taken the deal. I should’ve agreed to what Luciana wanted.”

  “You really trust that she’d follow through with her end of the bargain?”

  If I was being honest with myself, no, but Meredith’s life was on the line. Wasn’t it worth the gamble?

  “It’s not yours to fix this problem. It never was,” Dastien said. “This happened before you got here and it had nothing to do with you. You tried to help, and Meredith’s still hanging on. We might think of something else…”

  We were quiet for a second.

  “It might not have been my problem to solve before, but it is now.” My mother didn’t call me stubborn for nothing. I didn’t care what I had to do. This curse wasn’t killing my friend. I’d never let that happen.

  Chapter Twelve

  Meredith’s breath rattled in and out as I sat in the leather chair. I watched her sleep, trying to figure out where I’d gone wrong. My eyes felt heavy after doing the witchcraft, but I didn’t care. Even with the lights off, I couldn’t sleep. I wanted to stay awake in case something happened with Meredith.

  I hugged my knees into my chest as I thought back on the past twenty-four hours. This day had sucked. Right up there with the day that I woke up in this same room seven weeks ago.

  The newly replaced door opened, letting in just enough light to blind me, before it closed again. I couldn’t see him, but I could smell Dastien’s scent as he soundlessly made his way to my side.

  He crouched in front of me, grabbing my ankle and rubbing his thumb up and down it. “Where’s Max?”