The Baby Issue

by Jennifer Taylor

  He hauled Lucy to her feet and placed her arm around his shoulders. ‘Can you go round the other side, Anna? We’ll try to walk her round until the ambulance gets here.’

  ‘Do you think she’ll be all right?’ she asked, unable to keep the catch out of her voice.

  ‘If she gets the right treatment, she should have a chance, but there are no guarantees. Why the hell did she do such a crazy thing?’

  ‘Because she was desperate. Because it was the only thing she could think of when everything else had failed,’ she said sadly.

  ‘Then there has to be something seriously wrong with a society that leaves a kid like this to struggle on her own, that’s all I can say,’ Ben snapped. He sounded furiously angry but Anna knew that his anger was simply an outlet. Ben really cared about the poor girl. He cared deeply because he was that sort of person, and something inside her blossomed at the thought.

  The ambulance arrived ten minutes later and the two paramedics quickly carried Lucy downstairs. Ben turned to Anna as the paramedics loaded the teenager on board.

  ‘I’m going with them. I want to make sure that she gets the correct treatment. Will you explain to Adam what’s happened and tell him that I’ll be back as soon as I can?’

  ‘Of course,’ she agreed immediately.

  He felt in his pocket and handed her some money. ‘Take a taxi back to the surgery. I’m sorry to leave you in the lurch like this…’

  ‘I’ll be fine,’ she assured him, seeing the concern in his eyes.

  ‘Take care, Anna.’ He bent and kissed her swiftly on the mouth then got into his car as the ambulance pulled away.

  Anna pressed a trembling hand to her lips, feeling little shivers working their way through her body. ‘Take care,’ he’d said, and it was such a cliché nowadays, the sort of thing that people tagged onto the end of a conversation without really thinking about it. However, it was the way that he’d said it which would linger on in her mind long after the actual words had faded. She could have built a whole future on the tone of his voice if she’d let herself do something so foolish.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  ANNA asked the taxi driver to drop her off at the church hall instead of going straight back to the surgery. Arrangements would need to be made to ensure that Sam was cared for while Lucy was in hospital. Valerie Prentice met her at the door.

  ‘What’s happened? Have you found out where Lucy is?’

  Anna quickly explained what had happened, sighing when she saw how upset Valerie was. ‘I know exactly how you feel. I only wish I’d realised that Lucy was so desperate.’

  Valerie wiped her eyes with a tissue. ‘That poor kid! It doesn’t bear thinking about, what might have happened if you hadn’t found her.’

  ‘It doesn’t. But what we have to decide now is what to do about Sam,’ she said. ‘I suppose the correct procedure in a case like this would be to contact the social services department—’

  ‘Oh, do we have to?’ Valerie put in. ‘Sam will be terrified if a bunch of strangers come here and take him away.’

  ‘I realise that,’ Anna admitted. ‘But what’s the alternative? I don’t know how long Lucy will be in hospital and, to be honest, I don’t think she will be fit to look after him on her own when she comes out. She is going to need a lot of emotional support as well as practical help in the coming months.’

  ‘I wonder if Janice would look after him?’ Valerie suggested. ‘Don’t get me wrong, I’m more than happy to take care of Sam but he really loves Janice. He might find it less upsetting if she took him home with her. Let’s see what she thinks about the idea.’

  Valerie briskly led the way into the hall where Janice and Sam were sitting on a beanbag, reading a story. They both looked up expectantly when Anna and Valerie entered the room.

  ‘Have you found Lucy?’ Janice mouthed over the top of the child’s head.

  Anna nodded, not wanting to say too much in front of the child. Valerie murmured something about giving Sam a drink and whisked him away to the kitchen while Anna told Janice what had happened.

  ‘I feel so guilty!’ Janice exclaimed. ‘I knew that Lucy was finding it difficult to cope, but I didn’t realise just how bad things must have got.’

  ‘I feel exactly the same,’ Anna said sadly. ‘But what we have to concentrate on now is making sure that Sam is taken care of. Valerie suggested that you might be kind enough to look after him. I’ll have to inform the social services department about what’s happened, so they will arrange a carer for him if you’d rather not do it.’

  ‘Of course I’ll look after him,’ Janice said immediately. ‘I’ll be happy to. How long will Lucy be in hospital, do you think?’

  ‘I’m not sure. Dr Cole went with her to make sure that she received the correct treatment. Evidently, there’s an antidote to paracetamol poisoning. But I’ve no idea how long they will keep her in.’

  ‘Well, I’ll look after Sam for however long it takes. Maybe we can tell the social services department that I’m a friend of his mother’s?’ Janice grimaced. ‘Some friend to have let such a dreadful thing happen to a young girl like that.’

  ‘It wasn’t your fault, Janice,’ she assured her, although she knew exactly how Janice felt.

  Once the arrangements had been finalised Anna returned to the surgery and briefly explained to a shocked Eileen and Hilary what had happened. It was obvious that they were as upset as everyone else was by the affair. Anna couldn’t help wishing that they’d all had the foresight to do something before rather than after the event. She mentioned it to Adam when she went to tell him where Ben was, but he shook his head.

  ‘There’s no point blaming yourself because you weren’t to know this would happen. Most attempted suicides aren’t planned. Maybe something happened this morning and Lucy simply couldn’t see any way round the problem, and that’s why she did such a silly thing.’

  ‘I knew how hard she was finding it to cope, though,’ Anna said, still troubled. She sighed. ‘I, more than anyone, should have known how difficult her circumstances were because I’m going to be in the same boat in a few months’ time.’

  ‘But you are a grown woman who can deal with the situation, Anna. You also have people around you who care what happens to you,’ Adam said quietly. ‘That makes a big difference.’

  She smiled gratefully at him. ‘I suppose it does. Thanks for reminding me.’

  He got up and gave her a friendly hug. ‘Don’t mention it. Anyway, I’m only standing in for Ben. He most certainly would have told you how silly you are to compare yourself to Lucy!’

  She coloured when she heard the teasing note in his voice. Had Beth said something to him about her and Ben? she found herself wondering. Or had he simply reached the same conclusion by himself?

  The thought that Adam also believed that Ben was fond of her seemed to add extra weight to the idea, yet it left her in a quandary. She would be lying if she claimed that she didn’t like the idea, but in her heart she knew that it would be wrong to encourage his feelings. The last thing she wanted was for Ben to get any more deeply involved when it would affect his whole life. At the end of the day, this child was her responsibility, not his.

  It was almost time for evening surgery before Ben got back. Anna was in the kitchen, making herself a cup of tea, when he appeared.

  ‘Hi. I’m back at last.’

  ‘How’s Lucy?’ Anna demanded anxiously.

  ‘Feeling extremely sorry for herself but, thankfully, out of danger.’ He sank onto a chair and heaved a sigh. ‘I don’t want to have to go through anything like that again in a hurry!’

  ‘No wonder.’ Anna made a second cup of tea and placed it in front of him. ‘Drink that up. You look worn out.’

  ‘I am. I think it’s a combination of worry and good old hunger,’ he admitted ruefully. His stomach chose that particular moment to grumble and he grimaced. ‘Told you.’

  ‘Didn’t you have anything to eat while you were at the hospital?’ she asked
worriedly, thinking how exhausted he looked.

  ‘There wasn’t time.’ He took a sip of the tea. ‘The doctor on duty in the casualty department wanted to treat Lucy with activated charcoal when he found out that she’d taken a drug overdose. I had to kick up a real stink before he agreed to use acetylcysteine, the recommended antidote for paracetamol poisoning.’

  ‘Really?’ Anna couldn’t hide her surprise.

  ‘Really. I don’t know how long the guy has been working in accident and emergency care—he’s a locum, evidently—but he definitely needs to brush up on his facts. There are national guidelines laid down for the use of acetylcysteine in cases of paracetamol poisoning. Provided it is administered within ten hours of ingesting the drug, the patient should recover and not subsequently suffer liver failure,’ he explained grimly.

  ‘Anyway, I had a word with the hospital manager before I left and left him in little doubt of my feelings on the matter. I also intend to follow it up with a letter to the board of trustees. It’s totally unacceptable that people could die because they aren’t given the correct treatment, although it would be a damn site better if it had never happened in the first place.’

  Anna sighed when she heard the regret in his voice. She knew that Ben was blaming himself for not having guessed what Lucy was planning. Unfortunately, there was no time to reassure him that he wasn’t at fault in any way because the first patients had arrived for evening surgery. However, she suspected that none of them would forget what Lucy had done for a long time to come.

  Ben looked quite grey with fatigue when he came into the office after surgery ended. Anna felt really worried about him. He still hadn’t had anything to eat and she hated to think of him having to trek all the way home and start cooking for himself. It spurred her into making an offer that she certainly wouldn’t have made otherwise.

  ‘How do you fancy coming up to the flat and letting me cook you some supper? I’ve a couple of lamb chops going begging.’

  He looked at her quizzically. ‘That’s very kind of you, but to what do I owe such a generous offer?’

  ‘To the fact that you look like one of the walking dead, I imagine,’ Eileen chipped in, coming into the office. ‘You look as though you’re in desperate need of a bit of TLC, so you’d be a fool to refuse, if you want my opinion.’

  ‘In that case, what can I say except that I would be delighted to accept?’ Ben grinned, his brown eyes twinkling with laughter. ‘Lamb chops served with a side order of TLC sounds very tempting to me, Anna.’

  ‘Oh, good. I…I’ll go and put the chops under the grill, then,’ she murmured, hurrying to the door. ‘Come up whenever you’re ready.’

  She took a deep breath as she reached the relative sanctuary of the hall but it did little to calm her nerves. Lamb chops and TLC indeed! She was starting to have serious misgivings about her impulsive offer but there was no way that she could back out of it now.

  The chops were already cooking and she’d made a crisp spinach salad to go with them by the time Ben arrived. She had left the door on the latch so he came straight into the kitchen and looked around. ‘Want any help?’

  ‘No, it’s fine. I’m just going to microwave these potatoes.’ Anna popped a couple of large baking potatoes into the microwave and set the timer then turned, jumping when she almost bumped into him.

  ‘Sorry.’ He held up his hands in front of him. ‘I didn’t mean to get under your feet. I was just going to lay the table for you, seeing that you have the cooking all under control.’

  ‘Oh, right, thanks. Do you know where everything is?’ she asked shakily, struggling to make her stupid heart behave itself. It felt as though it were aiming for a gold medal from the speed it was racing, yet she couldn’t understand why she was so nervous all of a sudden.

  ‘I’m sure I can find everything I need,’ he replied evenly.

  ‘In that case, I’ll go and change out of this uniform,’ she told him, and quickly made her escape. She hurried into the bedroom and after a moment’s deliberation changed into the dress she had worn for Sunday lunch at Adam’s house. She zipped it up then picked up a brush to tidy her hair. It had come loose from the French pleat she’d worn that day, so she took out all the hairpins and brushed it until it hung in a silken cloud around her shoulders.

  She put the brush back on the dressing-table then took a deep breath when she saw the glitter of excitement in her eyes. Ben is just going to have supper, she told herself sternly. There isn’t anything more complicated to it than that. Yet no matter how many times she repeated the words they didn’t seem to help.

  ‘I’ve turned the chops over and the timer on the microwave has pinged so the potatoes are done,’ he informed her when she went back to the kitchen. He had loosened his tie and rolled up the sleeves of his grey shirt, and he looked completely at ease as he prodded the chops with a fork. ‘Have a look at these and see if you think they’re ready.’

  Anna sidled past him and peered into the grill. ‘They look fine to me. You sit down and I’ll serve up.’

  ‘How about something to drink?’ he suggested, opening the fridge. He lifted out a bottle of sparkling apple juice and grinned at her. ‘We can pretend this is champagne.’

  ‘You might be able to but my imagination isn’t that good,’ she retorted, carefully lifting the hot grill pan out and placing it on a trivet. She slid a couple of chops onto each plate then took the potatoes out of the microwave and split them down the middle. ‘Butter or sour cream dressing?’ she asked, glancing at him.

  ‘Both, please.’ He grinned wickedly. ‘My excuse is that I need the extra calories because I’m starving!’

  ‘Oh, what it must be like not to have to watch your weight,’ she declared, opening the fridge and getting out the butter and a jar of sour cream dressing. ‘I envy you.’

  ‘I don’t know why. You have the best excuse in the world for putting on weight at the moment.’ His smile was teasing, his dark brown eyes laughing up at her as she put the plate in front of him.

  ‘I don’t know about that. It won’t do me or the baby any good if I end up as big as a house,’ she said crisply, because she didn’t enjoy the way her heart was behaving once again. It was the way that Ben was looking at her, his eyes like warm brown velvet as he smiled at her. It would have needed a far harder heart than hers not to respond.

  ‘I don’t think there’s much danger of that,’ he assured her, adding an extremely generous dollop of the dressing to his potato. He forked up a mouthful then closed his eyes. ‘Delicious. Genuine manna from heaven!’

  Anna laughed. ‘A man of simple tastes, obviously.’

  ‘I am, but, then, I’m a simple kind of guy. I can’t see any point in making life complicated.’

  She wasn’t sure what he had meant by that but deemed it wiser not to ask. She had a feeling that the answer might not be one that she would want to hear. She took her own plate to the table and sat down. She was just about to pick up her knife and fork when she felt a funny sensation in her stomach and gasped.

  ‘Are you all right?’ Ben asked in concern.

  ‘Yes.’ She laughed when she felt it happening again. ‘I think I just felt the baby move!’

  ‘Really? What did it feel like?’ he demanded eagerly.

  ‘A sort of fluttering sensation…or maybe a tickly feeling.’ She shook her head. ‘It’s difficult to describe.’

  ‘I can’t imagine how it must feel,’ he admitted, starting to eat again.

  ‘I don’t suppose you can.’ She put some salad onto her plate and sighed. ‘That was one of the things that Jo felt saddest about missing out on—feeling the baby moving around inside her.’

  ‘But at least she had the joy of knowing that there was going to be a baby,’ he said firmly.

  ‘Yes, of course.’ She looked down at her plate, wondering how he always knew what to say. Ben had the knack of coming out with just the right words when she needed to hear them most of all. It was very strange.

&nb
sp; ‘What? Why are you frowning like that?’ He put down his knife and fork then reached across the table and took hold of her hand. ‘Come on, Anna, tell me. If something is worrying you, I want to know what it is.’

  ‘I was just wondering how you always seem to know exactly the right thing to say,’ she confessed softly.

  ‘It isn’t difficult when you care about someone as much as I care about you.’

  The words seemed to hang in the air between them. Anna knew that he was waiting for her to say something but she didn’t know how to respond. Should she admit that she cared about him, too, or would that be a stupid thing to do? Surely it would be better to laugh it off with some light remark, to turn away from the moment of truth rather than confront it?

  She bit her lip in a quandary of indecision and heard him sigh. ‘I realise that you don’t want to hear me say things like that, Anna—’

  ‘No!’ The word seemed to explode from her of its own volition because she certainly hadn’t planned on saying it. She took a deep breath, but it was as though she no longer had control of herself or her emotions. ‘It…it means a lot to me to…to know how you feel.’

  An expression of intense joy crossed his face as he pushed back his chair and stood up. Anna knew that she should call a halt while she had the chance, but she simply didn’t have enough control left to do that. Ben came round the table and drew her to her feet, and his eyes seemed to blaze as they locked with hers.

  ‘I’m crazy about you, Anna. You must know that. I love—’

  ‘No! Please, don’t! Don’t say any more.’ She pressed her fingers to his lips, shocked out of her inertia by a desperate need not to hear him say the words out loud. Maybe it was silly but if he didn’t actually say that he loved her then she could deal with the situation somehow. ‘It isn’t right, Ben. Can’t you see that?’

  ‘No, I can’t. How can I when it feels very right to me?’

  He kissed her fingers, one by one, then gently lowered her hand to her side and held it there. ‘But if you don’t want me to say any more, I won’t. It doesn’t stop how I feel, of course. Nothing can alter that.’