Chameleon Soul (Chequered Flag #1)

by Mia Hoddell

  Did I really repulse her that much? And why did she think I’d hurt her? She had been the one that caused an unbearable pain to shred my heart.

  I blew the air from my cheeks and pushed off the wall I rested against. Retreating in the opposite direction of the conference room, I headed back to the car park. I wasn’t going to give anyone the enjoyment of watching my tentative facade crumble before their eyes. Neither Raine nor I needed a reporter sticking their nose into our business.

  * * *

  It was two hours later when Zeke found me pounding the punching bag in my home gym. I’d been repeatedly pummelling it for the last half hour after I’d realised running wasn’t doing anything to burn off my mood.

  “It’s a good thing we’ve got four weeks off. Slipping gloves on over those knuckles would sting like a bitch.”

  I paused mid-punch and glanced down at my hands. The skin around my knuckles had cracked open. Now he’d pointed it out, there was a stinging sensation starting to radiate out over my hand.

  When I stepped away from the bag, he smirked at me. “Wise choice.”

  Zeke sat down on one of the benches, resting his elbows on his thighs so his hands hung down between his legs. “What’s got up your ass?”

  I picked up my water bottle and gulped down half the contents as an excuse not to reply. There wasn’t much I could hide from Zeke, though. We’d been together throughout my final years of karting and the lower formulas. He’d received a contract to race in Formula One with Sabre a year earlier than me and was one of my closest friends on the circuit, unless we were racing. When that happened, he was nothing but another driver I needed to beat.

  “Nothing. Had a bad day at the office. Did you know Dustin got hauled away by the cops last night? The dumbass hit on Aston’s latest bimbo.”

  A roar of laughter burst from Zeke, and he ran his fingers through his short, black hair. “No shit?”

  “Oh yeah. I don’t know what he was thinking. Now Hattersey’s out to get him.”

  “If anything, he’s using Dustin to get to you,” Zeke said. “It’s all mind games, Teo.”

  “Don’t I know it. It’s not going to work this time.”

  He looked me dead in the eye. “Exactly, so what’s really eating you? Because I know you don’t put this much thought into your brother’s life.”

  I leaned against the wall, folding my arms and crossing my legs at the ankles. “Raine showed up at the factory earlier. Her friend fell right into the conference room and then there she was.”

  Zeke’s eyes widened and his jaw went slack. “Raine, as in your Raine?”

  “She’s not my Raine. She hasn’t been in a year.”

  “You get my point.”

  “Yes. Raine Wilkins was at the factory.”

  He looked thoughtful for a moment then blurted, “How’d she look?”

  “Seriously? That’s the first thing you ask me when my ex mysteriously appears then legs it like she’s trying to outrun my car when I go to speak to her?”

  “She ran?”

  “Is there something wrong with your hearing today? Yes she ran, like a crazy person.”

  “Well, I would too after seeing your ugly mug.”

  I didn’t join in with his laugh, and it faded into a sigh. “I meant, what did she look like as in her emotions, not her body, because it would have taken a lot of work to ruin the figure I remember her having.”

  A warning growl rumbled in the back of my throat. She may not have been mine anymore, but I wasn’t going to have Zeke talking shit about her. He had a reputation worse than mine, which was saying something.

  “She looked beyond terrified, and I can’t figure out why. I know I wasn’t exactly warm, but what did she expect?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I don’t know, something wasn’t right. She was acting off.”

  “It could be from seeing you.”

  “No, it was more than that. I’ll check it out with Dustin.”

  Zeke regarded me with disapproval. “Are you sure that’s a good idea, Teo? You need to stay focused on the championship, and she fucked you over last time.”

  I glowered at him, and when Zeke saw that was all he was going to get out of me, he stood up.

  “Okay, I’ll mind my own business. Just…be careful.” He paused at the door. “Oh, and we’re going out tonight. I have a feeling you need it.”

  It shouldn’t have bothered me what was going on with Raine; she was the one who left me, after all. However, and I’d deny it if anyone questioned me, something about the raw fear in her eyes made me want to care. I’d never seen her look so frightened.

  Chapter Five

  Raine

  “You lying, backstabbing son of a—” I yelled, striding in through the front door and slamming it behind me so it cut off the rest of my words. On the drive home my fear had subsided and paved the way for anger. Unfortunately for Dustin, he was on the receiving end of my tirade, not that he didn’t deserve it for lying to me.

  Dustin emerged from his room with a confused expression. “What did I do?”

  “How could you tell me Teo wasn’t back when he was in the friggin’ factory!”

  “Teo was there?”

  I threw my hands in the air. “No, I’m reacting like this because I saw the goddamned Easter Bunny.”

  “Shit,” he hissed under his breath. “Raine, you need to calm down.”

  “Don’t tell me to calm down. I’ve not seen him in a year and then I have a breakdown right in front of him. He was. Never. Meant. To. Know,” I said through gritted teeth.

  Dustin paled and he scratched his head with unease. “I’m sorry, Raine. I really didn’t know he was back. I would have told you if I had.”

  “He saw me, Dustin. He saw me lose it and he hates me.” My words came out in a hoarse choke, the anger flowing in my veins being replaced by humiliation and regret. I hung my head, my posture drooping. My plan to hide away for four weeks while the British Formula One racers were in town had been well and truly ruined.

  “Come here.” Dustin took a step towards me, his arms out wide, drawing me into a hug. I collapsed into his arms, seeking solace in his embrace. “Why do you think he hates you?”

  “He was so angry. I’ve never seen him like that before.”

  “I’m sure you just shocked him, Raine. He didn’t expect you to be there, like you didn’t except to see him. It doesn’t mean he hates you.”

  “He should. It would keep him away from me then, and I wouldn’t have to answer impossible questions,” I murmured against his chest.

  “Maybe it was for the best?”

  I pulled back, my eyebrow raised incredulously. I was hoping Dustin would expand on that statement because I couldn’t see any way for the situation to be considered good.

  “How exactly is me seeing your man-whore of a brother a good thing?”

  “You know he’s only like that because he’s not with you.”

  I snorted and stepped from his grip. He was fanning the embers of anger that sparked within me, igniting them into burning flames again. “That doesn’t even make sense. He can’t have one girl so he has a different one every night. Where’s the logic in that?”

  “Really, Raine? He’s trying to get over you.”

  “Then why are you telling me it’s good we’ve seen each other? If he wants to move on, let him. I have.”

  “Bullshit. Neither of you have moved on, and Teo never wanted to. That’s why it’s a good thing. Maybe you two can work this out. You were good together.”

  “Keep talking like that and I’m going to think you planned for us to run into each other.”

  He threw his gaze to the ceiling. “Raine, I love both of you, but you need your heads smashing together. I didn’t plan anything, although I should have. For some reason I’ve kept your asinine secret, but now Teo’s back I think you owe it to him to come clean. Cut him free totally if that’s what you want. However, if you still have feelings for him
, don’t push him away.”

  “What are you, my shrink?”

  For a split second Dustin looked offended, and then his eyes clouded with annoyance. “No. I’m the person stuck in the middle between my brother and my best friend, and it’s only going to get worse with you both in the same country. I’m not choosing sides, so it would be a hell of a lot easier if you figured a way out of this limbo sometime soon.”

  Dustin stalked back towards his bedroom. He didn’t slam the door, but he didn’t shut it gently either. The forceful click of the lock turning felt like a smack in the face. With it, everything I’d done to him forced its way into my mind. I’d put him in a difficult position and I was continually doing it. He’d stood by me for so long I’d never stopped to think about what the consequences were for him, and it couldn’t have been easy.

  Guilt welled in my throat. Everything he’d said stabbed my heart and twisted deeper. I hadn’t moved on. Seeing Teo today only proved that. However, I didn’t want to believe Dustin’s words that Teo hadn’t either.

  With a sigh, I slumped into my room and collapsed face first on my bed.

  * * *

  It was a few hours later when muffled voices drifted through the thin wood of my door. I couldn’t hear what they were saying and was curious as to who Dustin would invite over.

  “Hey, Dustin, is that Nadine?” I shouted, pacing towards the kitchen where I could hear the clanging of mugs. Appearing in the doorway, I jumped back with a squeal. The tensed, muscular back and short brown hair definitely didn’t belong to Nadine.

  “W-w-what are you doing here?” Great, I’d developed a stutter. It took all of the fury from my words, making me sound like a bumbling idiot. Heat flared in my cheeks and I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me whole.

  Both of the guys turned to face me. From the corner of my eye I caught Dustin’s smirk. I couldn’t see his mouth behind the mug as he brought it to his lips, yet his eyes were crinkled in amusement. Most of my attention was focused on Teo. He leaned back against the counter with a dark, unreadable expression. The grip he had on his mug was too tight, and his jaw locked in anger.

  Like he even had the right to be angry. He was the one standing in my kitchen.

  “He’s picking me up. We’re going out for a drink,” Dustin stated bluntly when it became clear we were only going to remain staring at each other.

  Breaking the connection with Teo, I rounded on Dustin with a glower. “And you couldn’t have met him wherever you’re going?”

  “This is my home too, Raine. If I want to invite my brother here I can.”

  This wasn’t a coincidence. I had believed him earlier, but this was too much. He was doing this on purpose, and the thought that Dustin was beginning to change sides had my heart constricting painfully.

  Why was he doing this to me?

  After so many months of support, I thought he’d be the last person to betray me.

  “Wait. You’re living with her?” Teo barked at Dustin, his nostrils flaring.

  I assumed Dustin would have told him about our living situation. Then again, it was only today he’d betrayed me.

  Guilt flooded Dustin’s face. He lowered his gaze to the rim of his mug, not responding.

  I should have hated myself for making him choose between family and friends, but I didn’t.

  When neither of us responded, Teo spoke again. “How long have you been living together?”

  “Almost a year now.”

  Teo stiffened, taking in a sharp breath. He turned his murderous gaze on me, his usually warm eyes icy. “Is that why you left me? To be with him? You two always were unusually close.”

  “Come on, Teo. Don’t be a jackass,” Dustin said.

  How dare he come into my home, the one place I felt safe, and ruin that! He was invading my sanctuary.

  When Dustin placed a hand on Teo’s shoulder, Teo shook him off instantly. “Are you, or are you not together?”

  “Not!” Dustin cried at the same time I shouted, “Why the hell does it matter if I live with Dustin?”

  Both of them whirled on me.

  “Because it should have been me!”

  I gasped at Teo’s outburst, my hand flying to cover my mouth. I could only stare at Teo, my gaze not wavering from his almost black eyes as he matched my glare. His breathing was ragged, and the resentment began transforming into regret as if he’d finally realised what he had said.

  He lowered his gaze and refused to look at me. Tears started to burn the backs of my eyes.

  I knew he hated me.

  The minute ounce of hope that he still wanted me vanished at the expression of regret. It had been an automatic reaction for him seeing as we’d been together so long. He’d spoken without thinking, and then when it caught up with him he’d realised it wasn’t at all what he wanted.

  Dustin regarded me with sympathy. He opened his mouth to say something, but I beat him to it.

  “Just…g-get o-out,” I stuttered. “Please leave.”

  I hightailed it out of the kitchen to return to my room. Slamming the door behind me, I sank against the wood, my knees buckling so I slid to the floor.

  I was staring up at the ceiling trying to blink back the tears when Dustin’s voice came from the other side of the door.

  “Raine?”

  “Will you go, Dustin? Please…”

  “Raine, open the door.”

  “Get out of here!” I screamed, tuning the lock for good measure then shuffling over to my bed and throwing myself onto it. When I didn’t get a reply I assumed he’d listened to me.

  How was I meant to face Teo again after that?

  Chapter Six

  Teo

  “Get your stuff and I’ll meet you at the car in a minute,” Dustin snapped, throwing me his keys. I caught them easily, spinning the key ring around my finger, yet I didn’t make any move to leave.

  “God help me, Teo, if you’re not out of this flat within five seconds—”

  I held up my hands, cutting off his threat. Not that I thought there was anything he could do to me.

  Crossing the tiny space they shared—I was still having a hard time processing that—I hovered by the front door. Dustin stood outside Raine’s bedroom door and when I hesitated to see what he would say to her, he glared at me and pointed fiercely over my shoulder.

  With a huff, I headed down to the car and attempted to make sense of what I’d just seen. I hadn’t meant for those words to slip out; the anger in me had taken over. Nonetheless, I’d meant every word. It should have been me she moved in with. Though she wasn’t aware of it, I’d bought a fucking house for the two of us before she dumped me. It was meant to be a surprise.

  I heard footsteps, then saw Dustin striding towards me with angry steps, his fists balled at his side. He looked like he wanted to punch me, and if he had I probably wouldn’t have stopped him. The sadness on Raine’s face that had appeared at my words made me want to hit myself, even if it didn’t make sense.

  “What the hell was that?” he hissed.

  “I was going to ask you the same thing.”

  “No way, you’re explaining yourself first.”

  I threw him the keys. “It just slipped out, okay? That’s all.”

  “You still have feelings for her, don’t you?”

  “That’s none of your business. Speaking of which, how the fuck did it not cross your mind to tell me you’re living with her?”

  “Because I knew you’d react like this. Low blow, by the way. How could you even insinuate I’d date Raine? You know we’ve been friends for ten years. I was the one who introduced you!”

  I opened the car door and leaned on it. “I know, I’m sorry. It was the shock of seeing her. I’ve had nothing for a year, and then all of a sudden twice in one day.”

  Dustin’s posture began to relax and his fists uncurled. “I’m sorry for not telling you, but I didn’t know how to bring it up. We’ve never spoken about her and I didn’t want to start anythin
g. I assumed you didn’t want to know.”

  Unfortunately, I saw his point. After Raine left me and ignored all of my attempts to contact her, I decided to cut all ties. Dustin had the sense not to mention her and therefore over the year I’d forgotten how close they were.

  Seeing her again only ripped open old wounds, not that they’d healed completely anyway.

  Thank fuck we were heading to the pub because I needed something stronger than coffee after that meeting.

  “Listen, I know you’re mad with her and I don’t blame you, but…” Dustin trailed off, his gaze pensive. I’d come to know the look well. It was always the expression he wore when he had something he wanted to say and didn’t know where to start.

  “Spit it out, Dust. It’s written all over your face that you want to say something to me.”

  He inhaled deeply and it took him another minute to speak. “Take it easy on Raine, yeah?”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  My brow furrowed in confusion. What did he think I was going to do to her? Sure, part of me still resented her for the way she’d broken up with me, but that didn’t mean I was about to dump a year’s worth of shit on her. At least I was going to try not to.

  “Just…don’t push her to do or say anything. No doubt you’ll see her around if you stay here all of the break, and if she acts a little weird, pretend you don’t notice it. She’s not the same Raine you knew.”

  “Why would she act weird?” I glanced around the empty street. I didn’t really want to have this conversation out in the open. The press were already hounding my manager to explain my earlier outburst or give them the name of the girl, but I wasn’t moving until I got an answer.