My One Night: An On My Own Novel

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  This time, Mother took her martini and walked from the room, leaving me alone, with her having the last word.

  I shook my head, my entire body quaking. Somehow, I made my way to my car.

  I hadn’t even realized I was crying until I was halfway down the highway.

  I saw that Dillon had texted again, just saying “good luck” and asking me to call him when I was done with dinner, but I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t.

  Because no matter how pushy my mother could be, she was right. This semester had been harder than it should have been because I spent more time with Dillon than I had planned.

  As I’d said before, I hadn’t planned on Dillon Connolly.

  And now I was afraid that with me spending so much time with him, maybe I was standing in my way. I could push my parents away. I could make my own decisions, but what would happen if those decisions were wrong?

  What happened if I stood up for myself? And if Dillon was by my side when I did so?

  Chapter 13

  Dillon

  * * *

  I looked down at my phone and frowned. Elise still hadn’t texted me back to tell me how her dinner had gone with her parents, and I was getting a little worried. I knew she was busy and had classes and friends and a life outside of me, but, somehow, I’d turned into a stage-four clinger.

  Or maybe that wasn’t right. I just wanted to know how she was. I knew it would be a big dinner, one where she made sure her parents understood what she wanted for her future. I hated that I couldn’t be there for her, but neither of us was ready for that part of our relationship, and me being there would only be a hindrance. That wasn’t what tonight was about. I wasn’t the center of attention. And I was fine with that.

  I just wanted to know how she was doing.

  And I wasn’t about to text her for the third time just to ask.

  I would only be invading her space and annoying the fuck out of her. Of course, if she didn’t text me back by the end of my shift, I would either have to text one of her roommates or stop at her house on my way home. I needed to make sure she was safe. She didn’t need to talk to me, but I had to make sure she was okay.

  And, unbeknownst to me, I was in a full-on relationship.

  “That is the fifth time you’ve looked at your phone. Girl troubles?”

  I looked over at Aiden and shrugged. “I don’t think so.”

  My brother winced. “That’s never a good sign if you have to qualify it.”

  “I’m pretty sure I said that phrase to you at some point.”

  My happily married brother just smiled a little evilly. “It’s the truth. You helped me out of a sticky situation when it came to Sierra. I guess it’s my turn.”

  I gave Aiden a look. “I don’t know if I want your advice. Sometimes, you’re a little scary.”

  “You’re lucky I like you, kid, and we’re in public, or I’d slap the crap out of you.”

  “You’re so nice,” I said, and Aiden just snorted.

  “I’m not trying to be nice. I never try to be nice.”

  “Well, that’s the truth,” I said dryly.

  “You’re such a dick sometimes. It’s like you’re my brother or something.”

  That warmed me, and I couldn’t help but give him a sloppy smile. Aiden rolled his eyes but smiled right back. We had been doing good at this whole brother thing for a while now, even though we weren’t that new at it. Every once in a while, though, I was reminded of the fact that I hadn’t been raised with them. I didn’t share in their stories from their time growing up, nor did I have the connections and memories the others did. But they were so good at making sure I was part of everything now. I didn’t feel the lack. Even though I could’ve easily let myself do so. My brothers were good men and took care of me.

  Aiden’s eyes narrowed, and he tilted his head as he studied me. “Is there a reason you’re looking at me like that? Do I have something on my face?”

  I tried to grin to lighten the mood a bit. I didn’t want to get too emotional since we were working, and I was already worried about Elise.

  “I think there’s some processed wing sauce on your chin. Tasting the wares, were you?”

  My brother’s eyes narrowed even further, and his cheeks reddened. “How dare you utter such foolishness. Number one, if anyone ever heard you, I would have to kill you—and possibly them, as well. Number two, I would never dare grace these lips or these walls with processed wing sauce. We make it from scratch, you asshole.”

  “But you’re still making wings,” I teased.

  Aiden flipped me off this time. “You’re an ass. And, of course, I’m making wings. It’s a bar. They just don’t realize they’re eating fancy wings.”

  “Is that what you call them now?”

  Aiden groaned. “I’m going to end up with wings at the new restaurant.”

  “Just to annoy the highbrow people that come in and eat at your restaurant?”

  “We’re not going hoity-toity highbrow.”

  “And what’s wrong with that?” I asked honestly.

  “Nothing at all. I’m finding my groove. Now stop changing the subject. Why do you keep looking at your phone?” Aiden asked, and I shook my head.

  “Elise isn’t texting me back. I want to know how her dinner went with her parents.”

  My brother gave me a knowing look and then went back to plating an order. We were slow tonight, mostly because it was late on a weeknight, and we’d already hit our two rushes. But we still had a few orders to fill.

  I was working in the kitchen tonight, though I had been up front for most of the evening. Now, Aiden was alone because his other cook was out thanks to a sprained wrist and a long day, and I had filled in. I didn’t mind, and my brothers made sure they compensated me for my lack of tips. Plus, I got to hang out with Aiden. I had once thought that this was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, but maybe I’d help again in the kitchen with Aiden more often. I just wasn’t sure. I needed some time to figure out what I wanted. And I was blessed as fuck to have a family who understood that.

  “Do you know if she’s avoiding you? Maybe she just had a long night. Or her phone’s off.”

  I sighed. “My mind’s already gone through a thousand different scenarios. I’m just overreacting. She’s fine. Everything’s okay. I’m just tired, I guess. Or maybe I’m not used to this.”

  “For a guy who was so good at helping all of us settle into our relationships, you’ve never had a serious one of your own.”

  I shrugged. “No. I haven’t. I guess that makes me kind of an asshole for forcing you guys to listen to me before.”

  Aiden shrugged. “No. You’re not an asshole for that. We didn’t have to listen to you. We could’ve ignored you, acted like you were just some kid. But we didn’t. We wanted to know what was up. We listened to you. Still do. We like you. And you’re smart. You evidently knew what you were talking about, so I guess now you should listen to your own advice.”

  “And what advice was that? It’s been a couple of years.”

  Aiden laughed. “Yeah, it has. You guys are young. You have time to figure things out. I know you’ve got a thousand things on your mind, though. And you texted her, I take it?”

  I winced. “Twice. Once to see how it was going, another to ask how it went. I don’t want to be that guy and text a third time, acting like a possessive jerk.”

  “You’re right. You don’t want to be that guy.”

  “It would be easy to become him, especially since I just want her to be all right, and I don’t know how to make that happen.”

  “You can’t hold the world in your hands. You can’t make her feel like she can do everything either. But you can stand by her side and help.”

  “Is that what you say to Sierra?”

  Aiden snorted. “I have never once been able to tell my wife what to do. I can guide her down the path, but then she shouts at me, pushes me off the path, and finds her own. And that’s why I love her. Because
she takes no shit, no prisoners, and knows I will do the same.”

  “I do love your wife.”

  “Watch it.”

  “Not like that, come on.”

  Aiden just gave me a look. “So, what kind of dinner was this with her parents?”

  “One where she was supposed to explain to them that she’s going to stick with the major she is paying for, to be a physical therapist, and that she wants nothing to do with being a doctor like they are.”

  Aiden winced. “Oh, that’s going to go well.”

  “Elise got scholarships and is pretty much paying her own way. Even if they were paying for her school, I don’t know if it’s okay for them to direct her in that way.”

  “I think if you go into a partnership with your family where they pay for your school, there needs to be an understanding of what that means. In terms of actually passing classes and graduating, but not directing them down a path to a major they want nothing to do with.” Aiden gave me a pointed look.

  “I know you guys would pay for my classes, but if I keep doing as well as I am, then I’ll get the full-ride for the rest of my years at this school.”

  “And that would be fucking great,” Aiden said, finishing up another order. “But if, by chance, you don’t get that full scholarship and only keep with the partial, don’t get a loan. Not these days where interest rates are insane. Let us help.”

  “You guys have kids to worry about.”

  “And everything that Brendon touches turns to gold. Let him use his fancy money. Hell, let us help you. We may not be billionaires, but we’re not in debt either. We can help you. You’re not in an Ivy League school getting a degree in underwater basket weaving. You’re working towards something important. To help with the family. So, let the family help you.”

  I winced. “I haven’t been good about seeing it that way.”

  “No, you haven’t. But I figured I’d start here, and then let Violet and the girls get to you later.”

  “They’re going to gang up on me, aren’t they?”

  “You know it. The only reason we even let you work like you are is because it’s with and for the family. If we didn’t have a place of business where you could work with us, you wouldn’t be.”

  “I need to make my own way, Aiden. Earn it.”

  “And you do. You have.” There was a lot in that statement, and I stiffened.

  “I know. Thanks.”

  “Anyway, we like you, kid.”

  “Thanks,” I said dryly.

  “What? Now, work on this last order and then check on Brendon and Cameron. Brendon’s upstairs working on the books since it’s nearly tax time. And Cameron is behind the bar. If they’re good for the night, head home.”

  I shook my head. “But it’s not the end of my shift.”

  “Well, go check on your girl, then.”

  “And that’s not being too possessive?”

  Aiden shook his head. “It’s just checking on her. You told me she was having an emotional evening. Just make sure she’s okay. Or see if she’ll text you back. If you show up there with her favorite treat or drink, hand it off, say you were thinking of her, and then walk away. That’s not being too much. That’s just showing you care. Hell, we’re allowed to do that, you know? Guys don’t have to be gruff and in the corner hiding their feelings and shit all the time.”

  I looked at Aiden, blinked a few times, and then threw my head back and laughed. “I can’t believe you of all people said that.”

  Aiden flipped me off again. “Oh, fuck you, too. I am in touch with my feelings.”

  “You are not. You’re a growly asshole who doesn’t know the meaning of showing emotion to anyone but your wife. And even that’s like pulling hairs.”

  Aiden raised a brow. “Got a problem with it? At least, I’m married.”

  “Are you saying you want me married at this age?” I asked, my heart doing that twisty thing in my chest, thinking about Elise. We were not even close to that, but hell, the thought of being with her for longer than a minute? I liked it. I liked it a lot.

  What the hell was wrong with me?

  My brother rolled his eyes. “Go take this order out, and don’t come back until you talk to your girl.”

  “And not in a stalkery way.”

  “Yes, don’t stalk her, asshole. You’re a romantic, one who reads all those books about what women want. You should know more than me.”

  “When I was giving advice, I was just talking out of my ass because I had no idea what I was doing.”

  Aiden just shook his head. “You know more than you think you do. Go talk to your girl. After you serve that table, of course.”

  I nodded and picked up the plates. I headed out to the front of the brewery, where a couple of tables were still filled. One group was already eating. I had the food for the other. It looked as if it would be a smooth close for the evening, and for that, I was grateful. Sometimes, we were crowded right up to the time we needed to close the door, and I was exhausted on those days, even if my tips were excellent.

  “Okay, guys, I have wings, two wraps, and the sampler.”

  “That’s us,” one of the guys said. “Your bartender there? Cameron? He already got us some extra plates. You can just toss it all in the middle, and we’ll fight over what we want.”

  “That sounds like the easiest plan ever for me.” I did as they asked, nodded, made sure they had everything they needed, then headed over to Cameron.

  “I heard Aiden say you were on your way out the door,” Cameron said.

  “Yeah, I have homework and stuff.”

  “And Elise?” Cameron asked, and then Brendon was there, as well, standing behind the bar.

  “Were you all listening to that conversation?” I asked, a little unnerved.

  “No, Aiden just mentioned that we were supposed to make sure you went home and checked on your girlfriend. We don’t know what it’s all about, but we’re sure he’ll fill us in.”

  “Y’all are worse than the girls.”

  “Don’t let Harmony hear you say that,” Brendon said, then paused. “Or any of them. Including your girl.”

  “You’re right,” I said, cringing.

  “Anyway...” Cameron didn’t get a chance to finish what he was saying because his eyes narrowed, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end.

  “There you are, boy. Kind of annoyed I had to find you here.”

  I felt the blood drain from my face, and Aiden came out from the back. All three of my brothers glared over my shoulder. I swallowed hard and turned to see Dave. My father. The man I never wanted to see again.

  “Jesus, you work in a bar? Well, I guess it’s a good thing for me. Yo, barkeep, could use a beer. Whatever you got on tap here but not any of that pussy shit.” He slurred his words, then started to rub his arm as if in pain…or needing another fix.

  “I do believe you walked into the wrong place, sir,” Cameron said, and I knew he recognized the man.

  After all, he had my eyes.

  And I had a feeling that all three brothers knew what Dave looked like. They had hired a private investigator to find him at one point, and I had wanted nothing to do with it. I had been trying to find my way, learn who I was as a Connolly, and they had been gracious enough not to tell me what they’d found. But they knew that this was my dad.

  Hell.

  “You should go,” I said.

  Dear old Dave’s eyes narrowed. “You should stop talking back to me.” His breathing quickened, and he rubbed his arm again, fisting his hand as if waiting for something.

  The two tables with customers all turned to us, a total of five guys with narrowed eyes who didn’t look as if they were interested in joining in on the fray or watching the party while eating popcorn. Instead, they looked ready to push the guy out of the bar and help us.

  It was an odd sense to have, but one you figured out after working at a place like this for a while. These guys would help with Dave, but I didn’t want
anything to do with that. I wanted them to enjoy their evening without drama. I didn’t want the embarrassment of my sperm donor standing in front of me, acting like an asshole.

  “I’ve already told you once…” I began and heard Cameron curse under his breath. I hadn’t mentioned that Dave had stopped by the house. “I told you already that I don’t want you here or in my life. You need to go.”

  “You owe me. It’s best we get it done now so I don’t have to make a scene.” He looked around the place and held out his arms. “And, you know, it’d be nice to make a scene in this pretty place.”

  “You guys keep eating,” Brendon said casually from behind the bar. “Bill’s on us. We’re going to go take care of this. You need anything, Aiden here will be able to help you.”

  “You’re making me stay here?” Aiden mumbled.

  “You’re closest to them. It’s the first name that popped into my mind.”

  I shook my head, putting up my hands so my brothers would stop speaking. “I’ve got this,” I said and then moved forward. “You should go. I’m done with this.”

  “You owe me.”

  “Like I said before, I will call the cops if I have to.” I pulled my phone out of my apron. The guy who I hadn’t known for my entire life spat on the floor before leaving.

  I put my shaking hands down and slid my phone back into my apron pocket. “If it’s all the same to you, I’m going to head home.”

  Cameron put his hand on my shoulder, and I flinched.

  He cursed under his breath, and I didn’t bother looking up at his face. I was afraid of what I might see there.

  “He came to the house, then?” he asked.

  “Yes,” I whispered. “But it’s fine. He just wants money or something.”

  “And you didn’t tell us?”

  “No. I didn’t.”

  “Because you think you can handle it,” Brendon whispered.

  “I did, didn’t I? He’s just blowing off steam. He’ll get bored, and then he’ll leave for good.” Even I didn’t believe the words coming out of my mouth.

  “And what if he comes to the house again? Or one of our homes. What if he figures out where we live and comes when the girls are there alone? What then?”