Real Love 1 (If Only You Were Mine)

by H. H. Fowler

  While Drake was away at Bible School, he and Sasha had grown very close. Talking late into the night, sharing a lot of laughs and good food. The chemistry was definitely there. Levi was sure that Sasha was beginning to fall in love with him. That was why he was so hurt and confused that Sasha had chosen to marry Drake. How could Sasha be happy with Drake when he knew her heart was not really into it? Levi scoffed at his thoughts. It was so obvious from their conversations that Sasha was deeply attracted to him.

  “Drake will be back home for good this summer,” Levi had said to Sasha. “Are you going to tell him about us?”

  They’d just come back from seeing a movie on the big screen and now Levi was parked in front of Sasha’s apartment. Sam Cooke was playing softly on the radio, his soulful voice seeming to be in cahoots with the cool February breeze that blew quietly around them. The scene hadn’t been planned by Levi but it certainly created one of the most intimate moments Levi could ever hope for.

  Sasha turned away from Levi’s piercing gaze and said with as much conviction as she could muster. “There is no us, Levi. You know that I love Drake…”

  “You kissed me and it was not me who initiated it,” Levi said.

  Sasha didn’t respond.

  Levi sighed, visibly frustrated. “Sasha, please tell me that you’re not still thinking about marrying Drake.” When Levi saw that Sasha was determined not to answer him, he reached over and gently pressed his lips against the back of her neck.

  She recoiled and yelled, “Why are you making this so complicated for me?”

  “You have to tell Drake the truth,” Levi said. “Because you’re only going to be lying to him and lying to yourself. I know you’re attracted to me…”

  “Oh, so now because I kissed you, you are suddenly an expert on how I should live my life? Drake and I have years together – as opposed to the several weeks of conversation between us. I won’t disappoint my fiancé!”

  Levi pulled back his retort because he could see it would only make matters worse. “Listen, Sasha, I know this is hard for you and I’m sorry if I came off as being insensitive. But you must know this is hard for me too. Drake is my best friend –”

  “Then act like it!” she snapped. “You should know that what we’re doing is wrong and we need to stop before it destroys Drake and my relationship with him.”

  “You are afraid of him, aren’t you?”

  Sasha scoffed at Levi’s rhetorical question.

  “I’m being serious,” Levi said. “I can tell that whatever Drake expects of you is making you feel pressured to please him. That is not real love, Sasha…”

  “And I suppose you know what real love is,” Sasha rejoined. “Because right now we are stabbing Drake in his back…”

  Mama Dee was back at the bar for another round of that devilish red drink. She rudely pulled Levi out of his reverie with another inappropriate comment about his body. Levi thought it best to ignore her because the way he felt that evening, he may just do something that could cost him his job. He looked for another bartender to take his place so that he could take a much needed fifteen-minute break.

  Love keeps no record of wrong

  1 Corinthians 13:5 (NIV)

  Chapter Five

  The three nights at the Pink Haven Guesthouse flew by like a breeze and Drake and Sasha found themselves back in Devin’s Cay a little sooner than they would have liked. But they were equally excited to start their new life together as a family. Since the airport wasn’t that far from the cottage they would be living in, they didn’t see the need to leave Sasha’s car in long-term parking, which was a stiff fifteen dollars a day. So they decided to pay a cab for the commute, which was at best, only four miles away. Drake used the short time to build upon that wonderful rapport he and his wife had long established from their childhood years.

  “So, how does it really feel being married to me?” he asked her. “And please, spare no details. I want to hear your full assessment of these three days we’ve been husband and wife.”

  Sasha laced her fingers between Drake’s, not certain how she should respond to such a question. It felt as if she was suddenly sitting in an examination room, but she brushed off the feeling with a smile. Always reverent; always obedient to her man.

  “Well, I am certainly thrilled to be your wife,” she started. “And thrilled to have had the three most exhilarating days ever. I had no idea after waiting all these years that it would have felt so good.”

  “Waiting to be intimate is what you mean, right?”

  “That as well as the feeling of simply belonging to someone – the man of my dreams.”

  Drake smiled at Sasha’s response, and then quickly added, “You see? It was God’s will for us to remain celibate until marriage. I don’t understand how some Christian couples can enjoy sex before tying the knot. It’s irreverent and a complete disrespect to the laws of God. First Timothy 4:2 puts it appropriately when it speaks of these lawbreakers as having their conscience seared with a hot iron.”

  Sasha cringed in Drake’s arms, but she concealed her expression with one of those tight smiles she’d learned to wear whenever she didn’t fully agree with what Drake said. Thankfully, the conversation ended abruptly when the cab driver made a right turn onto the path leading to their small cottage. Though it was not as spacious as the apartment she’d given up, she’d done it to please her husband. Sasha was that sort of woman, who allowed men to take their rightful lead.

  As the cab driver neared the cottage, Drake noticed there were two men standing on the porch. One of them he recognized to be the owner of the cottage to whom he and Sasha had paid the rent and the other was a complete stranger. Drake did not like surprises and he certainly didn’t like encountering a problem on the first day back from his honeymoon.

  “Stay here, darling,” he instructed Sasha. “I will be right back.”

  Sasha stole a glance at the cab driver, who was already looking to receive his fares. It made no sense adding to it, especially if Drake didn’t know how long he would be gone.

  “I’ll come with you,” she suggested. “We don’t want to hold up the cab driver any longer than we need to.”

  Drake seemed to appreciate the suggestion. “You’re right, but I would still prefer that you wait by the gate while I go and talk to the owner. Is that okay with you?”

  Sasha smiled. “Sure, babe...I’m not going anywhere.”

  Drake pulled out his last twenty dollars from his wallet and handed it to the cab driver. He didn’t mind so much it being his last because he knew by the end of the week, his monthly stipend from the church would be in his possession. And as he went on to inquire of the problem, Sasha took the opportunity to really think about the decision she’d made to marry Drake. She hadn’t lied when she told Drake that she was thrilled to be his wife, but she couldn’t altogether dismiss her reservations. One of which having to do with Levi.

  The look on Levi’s face when she’d said, ‘I do’ was the sight of a man who’d been broken into a million pieces. But what did Levi expect her to do? She’d told Levi on numerous occasions that her life was with Drake and that he needed to get over his little obsession with her. She and Levi would have never worked because she didn’t love Levi the way she loved Drake. But despite this rationalization, Sasha still felt a great measure of concern for Levi. She knew she had hurt him deeply and not knowing how he would fare over the coming days had her emotions in limbo.

  “There is a little problem,” Drake said, recapturing Sasha’s attention. “But nothing really for us to be worried over.”

  “What is it?” she inquired.

  “The owner said that the cottage would have to be fumigated because of the termites in the wood.”

  Sasha didn’t really know what that meant and her expression said as much. “How serious is it? Is he planning to give us back our money?”

  “Relax, darling,” Drake tried to console. “It’s not as serious as you think. The owner had been meaning to
do it, but he didn’t expect us to be back so soon from our honeymoon.”

  “Well, where does he expect us to be while all of this fumigation is going on?” Sasha snapped. “Because he should have told us about this up front before we gave him our money for the rent.”

  “And I agree with you,” Drake said. “But let’s not take the matter out of context. These things happen. He will need about four days – as the whole cottage will be covered with a tent.”

  Sasha gasped, despite Drake trying to keep her calm. “Four days? Where will we go? I gave up my apartment the week before we were married.”

  If Sasha’s words rubbed Drake the wrong way, he didn’t show it. He simply suggested, “We can always stay with my mother. It’s temporary –”

  Sasha was shaking her head before she even spoke. “I don’t think so, Drake. Your mother doesn’t smile too much around me. I won’t feel comfortable living there.”

  “Then I will call Levi,” Drake said, pulling out his cell phone. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind us crashing in one of his spare bedrooms for a few days.”

  Sasha looked as if she’d swallowed cayenne pepper. “No! That wouldn’t be a good idea either!”

  “Then what do you suggest we do, darling? I am now responsible for taking care of you and you’re not making my job easy.”

  Sasha took a deep breath to regain her composure. She did not like frustrating Drake, especially over something like this. But he’d offered her some distasteful suggestions, none of which she cared anything for. She wished her family hadn’t moved so far away to a different district altogether or that Hunter was away on a business trip. She would have respectfully swayed Drake to go along with her suggestions. Yet, another brilliant idea popped into her head as she pulled Drake closer to her.

  “What if I use my credit card to book a few nights at the Smithson hotel?”

  “I will not entertain such a suggestion,” Drake said. “If Levi agrees, we will be staying with him. Please, let’s not argue about this.”

  The tone in Drake’s voice was not abrasive, but it was powerful enough for Sasha to respect it. She pulled in her attitude and prayed that when Drake called Levi, Levi would say that he couldn’t help them. But to Sasha’s surprise, the look on Drake’s face said that her prayers hadn’t been answered.

  “Levi has no problem with us using one of his spare rooms,” Drake said. “In fact, he’s thrilled about the whole idea.”

  Sasha was too wounded to respond to Drake’s enthusiasm. If Drake only knew the truth as to why Sasha didn’t want to be anywhere near Levi, he wouldn’t be so chipper.

  Chapter Six

  “Let me take the luggage into the house,” Levi said to Drake and Sasha. “You guys are my guests.”

  Drake took back his luggage from Levi and said, “I appreciate the gesture, buddy, but we don’t want to be treated as your guests.”

  “Lighten up, man.” Levi chuckled. “I don’t mind dragging one or two of these mammoth-looking things into the house. I can see you need my help.”

  “Well, if you insist.” Drake placed his arm around Sasha and pulled her close to him. “My wife and I certainly could use the rest after spending three, long incredible days getting to know each other a little better. We barely slept.”

  Sasha could feel Levi’s eyes burning a hole through her, but she dared not look at him for fear of what she might see. Why did Levi ever agree to this silly arrangement? Because when it was all said and done, Levi was going to be the only one who would end up getting hurt.

  “Say no more, my friend,” Levi said. “Your room awaits you and your new bride. Please follow me.”

  Sasha was very familiar with Levi’s place. In fact, she’d spent time lounging on Levi’s couch, watching reruns of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air while Levi changed out of his work clothes before they went to see a movie. Other times they’d just sit and play board games like Checkers and Monopoly as they discussed a wide range of subjects. However, to avoid getting suspicious looks from Drake, Sasha acted as if it were her first time.

  Drake looked over his shoulder at Sasha. “I don’t recall ever bringing you here to Levi’s house since he purchased it three years ago.”

  “She never had a reason to,” Levi said, speaking up for Sasha. “And that’s because you were rarely on the island or when you were here, which was never more than a week, by the way, you spent it at the church.”

  “The way I see it,” Drake said, intending to remove the spotlight from himself, “nothing happens before its time. We’re here now, so let’s make the best of these four days.”

  Levi nodded. “Fine by me...” He opened the door to the spare bedroom, which was surprisingly well-coordinated for a space in a male’s territory. “This is where you guys will be staying...I hope you like it.”

  For a brief second, Sasha’s gaze connected with Levi’s and the only thought that came rushing to her mind right then was how she’d French kissed him in his car. A spur of the moment reaction that had been brought on by the weakness of her flesh. But she realized now it’d been a dangerous mistake and wished she could take back that irrational moment. Levi never allowed her to forget it and even now she could see in his eyes that he would do anything to be that close to her again.

  “You guys settle in,” Levi said. “I will bring in the rest of your luggage.”

  Drake extended his hand to Levi for a handshake. “Seriously speaking, Sasha and I really appreciate you taking us in on such short notice. We understand that you didn't have to do it.”

  Levi gripped Drake’s hand and said, “We may have our differences, but I will never leave you out in the cold, especially now that you have a wife. No worries, mate; it’s a pleasure to have you guys crashing here.”

  As Levi turned to leave, Drake parked his inquisitive eyes on Sasha. “You seem pretty quiet. Is everything okay?”

  Sasha rubbed her throat. All of a sudden she felt as if she needed a cold drink of water. “I’m fine,” she answered, “considering that I didn’t want to come here in the first place. But I digress. I will follow you as you take the lead as my husband.”

  “I only want the best for you,” Drake said. “In time, we will have everything that you could ever dream of, including a six-bedroom house in which to raise our five children. All I ask is that you be patient with me.”

  Drake’s idea of a family was not exactly what Sasha had in mind, but she smiled anyway to portray the perfect wife.

  “Would you excuse me?” she said, leaning over to kiss Drake on his cheek. “I need to use the bathroom.”

  “Sure...”

  Drake observed the way that Sasha navigated her steps without making one wrong turn. She knew the exact door that led to the bathroom. Was that a coincidence? Drake couldn’t say for sure. However, Sasha’s actions certainly left a question mark in his thoughts. He dug in his pants pocket and pulled out that offensive note some anonymous coward had handed him on his wedding day. This time, Drake read the note with renewed interest. Maybe, somewhere in the back of his subconscious mind, he’d suggested coming to Levi’s place because he needed to find out the truth.

  ****

  El Shaddai Ministries was no ordinary church. About ninety percent of its membership came from what some would call the wrong side of the tracks. Men and women who were once drug and alcohol addicts, prostitutes, and chronic gamblers could be found sitting in the pews or on the pulpit, fully operating in their God-designed purposes. Even the presiding bishop, Rev. T.G. Henderson was once a flaming philanderer before the hand of God arrested him and molded him into one of the most profound preachers on the island.

  But with his precious wife now dead and his vitality rapidly declining, old Rev. Henderson was ready to retire. And though he believed strongly in the power of succession, he had no sons to take over the vision he’d built. He had one daughter, but she lived in Paris and Rev. Henderson knew that her love of the entertainment industry would prevent her from following into his foots
teps. However, there was one young up and coming preacher by the name of Drake Beckford who Rev. Henderson had had his eyes upon ever since Drake was a child. In fact, he’d taken him in as his own son.

  In Rev. Henderson’s eyes, Drake was the ideal candidate. A sturdy young man, who was as disciplined as he was loyal. That was why Rev. Henderson had had no qualms in sending Drake to Bible School aided with a full scholarship from the church. It was all part of his plan in the making. Hence this afternoon’s meeting with the board gathered around the large mahogany table – to officially select the next bishop of El Shaddai Ministries. But of course, whenever there was talk of promotion, the spirit of jealousy always surfaced in certain people who thought that the candidate in question was not worthy of such elevation.

  There were two such individuals sitting at the table, but only one of them had the courage to speak up. Everyone knew him as Elder John, who’d been both Head Deacon and Head Usher at one time in the ministry. Drake was also required at this gathering, but because Rev. Henderson wanted to give Drake a little more time to enjoy his new wife, he decided to meet privately with Drake at another time.

  “We all know why we’re here,” Rev. Henderson started. “This church will soon need a new leader. However, my choice has been clear from day one. I also plan to announce my retirement to the church at the end of the month, but I did not want to do so without my senior leadership finding out about it first.”

  Elder John uncrossed his legs, obviously not afraid to show his disdain. “May I say something, Rev. Henderson? And I believe I’ll be speaking for most everyone sitting at this table.”

  “Please proceed with your concerns,” Rev. Henderson urged. “I already know that you don’t approve of my choice.”