Undeniable Rush

by S. C. Stephens

  When we started the third and final lap, my muscles were shaking with fatigue, but I was still in the lead. I occasionally saw tires in my peripheries, but I never let them scoot around me. This track was mine. I was breathing heavy when the last lap was over, and I seriously needed water before my muscles started cramping, but I didn’t care—I’d won!

  I thrust both hands into the air as my bike slowed. Hayden pulled beside me, then lifted his visor. Grinning, he shook his head at me; he loved the way I cherished my victories.

  As my bike slowed to a stop, I looked behind me to see Rodney and Felicia sheepishly keeping their distance. Raising my visor, I made my way over to them. “What are you guys doing here this late?” I asked, annoyance no longer boiling through my veins. “Does Keith know you’re here?”

  Rodney took off his helmet, then scratched his head with his gloved hand. “Uh, no, actually, he doesn’t. And if you don’t mind, we’d really appreciate it if you didn’t tell him. He has a thing about when his riders can and can’t use the track.”

  That made me laugh. “Tell me about it. Even still, you guys shouldn’t be here this late. It’s not safe. And technically…we’re closed.”

  Hayden gave me a look, but I ignored him. We might have snuck in ourselves as riders, but as an owner, I couldn’t exactly tell them: Sure, use the track twenty-four-seven, I don’t care. I was partly responsible for their safety now, and the safety of the track. That thought made some of the stress of my responsibilities settle around my shoulders again. Damn it.

  Felicia nodded at my words after taking off her helmet. “It won’t happen again, Kenzie, we’re sorry.” Her face broke into a wide smile. “But you have to admit, that was fun!”

  I wanted to deny it, but I couldn’t. “Yeah, it was pretty fun. Especially when I kicked your asses.”

  Rodney and Felicia both laughed, then Rodney said, “I’ll get you next time. Same time tomorrow?” Felicia rolled her eyes while Rodney’s hopeful gaze flashed between Hayden and me.

  Hayden shook his head. “No, she’s right, you guys shouldn’t be here this late.”

  Rodney looked dejected, but he shrugged. “Okay, let’s go drinking instead. I think it would be fun if we all hung out.” Felicia flashed him a look that clearly said, Shut up, idiot! I almost wanted to laugh at her flustered expression. But then I remembered my nightmare.

  I opened my mouth to say something, but Hayden beat me to it. “Uh, actually… I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He pointed at Felicia. “We used to date, as I’m sure you know.”

  Rodney looked at Felicia and shrugged. “Yeah, I know, but that was ages ago. You’re with Kenzie now,” he said, indicating me.

  Hayden cringed. “Yeah, but it’s weird, man.”

  Rodney blinked. “How is it weird? You’re not into Felicia anymore, she’s not into you. You and I are friends. Felicia and Kenzie have so much in common they’ll be besties in no time. Hanging out together, it just…makes sense.”

  Felicia dropped her head in her hand, like she was mortified Rodney didn’t get it. Hayden opened his mouth to give Rodney another rejection, but I beat him to it. “Sounds great, Rodney.”

  Hayden snapped his gaze to me, bewilderment on his face. I only smiled at him in answer. Beside his family—Hookup, Izzy, and Antonia—Hayden didn’t have a whole lot of friends. Practically none at the track. But somehow he’d bonded with Rodney last season, and I didn’t want to break that friendship by denying him access to it because of Felicia. And besides, Rodney was right about practically everything he’d just said. Everything except Felicia and I being besties. That was something I didn’t ever see happening.

  Felicia was looking at me with wide eyes too, but Rodney was ecstatic. “Excellent! It’s a date!”

  Inwardly, I sighed. Crap. I’d nearly forgotten that I had absolutely zero time for a social life. But I didn’t really have a way to back out of it now, and I couldn’t cancel and let Hayden go on his own. Hayden, Rodney, and Felicia on a date together…that was just unsettling. Jesus, what did I just agree to?

  ***

  CHAPTER 7

  Hayden and I started meeting up most nights to go riding. It cut into my sleep schedule, but it was so exhilarating to be out on the track again, I didn’t care. It also gave me a legitimate reason to avoid going on a double date with Rodney and Felicia. Not that Hayden was pushing me to make that happen. He assumed I’d only said yes to that to be nice. And maybe that was true, partly, but I’d also wanted him to have a real relationship with his friend. I just wished Felicia wasn’t part of the Rodney package. Maybe if I kept delaying, they’d break up, and I wouldn’t have to worry about it. Then I’d just have to worry about Felicia being single, and stalking Hayden from across the track. Lord help her if she started texting him again.

  “That was great, Kenzie. Your times are right where they need to be.”

  Taking off my helmet, I smiled over at Hayden. “I know. I’m beating you pretty consistently now.”

  Hayden frowned as he glanced over at the track. “Yeah, I’m going to have to stop taking it easy on you.”

  Laughing, I pulled off a glove and threw it at him. He smirked at me, then tilted his head. “I hate to bring this up, but Rodney cornered me the other day. He wants to meet up soon, go out together.”

  Inhaling a deep breath, I held it a second before letting it go. “Christmas is in a couple of days, then New Years is after that. And I already promised Nikki we’d go out with her and Myles. Maybe sometime after that…if I’ve got a free night once the holidays are over.”

  Hayden gave me a look that clearly said he knew I was purposely avoiding going out with them. “While I appreciate you agreeing to this, Kenzie, it isn’t necessary. You don’t have to go on a double date with my ex.”

  “I’m not,” I countered. “I’m going on a double date with your friend. Who happens to be dating your ex. Totally different.”

  He laughed, then shook his head. “You’re pretty amazing, you know that, right?”

  Exhaustion suddenly swept over me. “If I were amazing, I’d have landed the Lowes sponsorship.” My eyes narrowed into pinpricks. “I can’t believe they went with Keith. He’s got so many sponsors, there’s no way he can give them the exposure I could have. They’ll be lucky to get a spot on his fender. But me…hell, I would have given them the entire fucking bike.” Closing my eyes, I counted to ten. It would be fine. I’d find someone else.

  I opened my eyes when I felt Hayden’s bare hand on my cheek. “I’m so sorry, Kenzie. If I knew anything about that kind of shit, you know I’d help you.”

  Smiling under his caress, I nodded. “I know you would. I just wish… I wish I had the schmoozing gene. But clearly, I don’t.” A tired sigh escaped me. “I really thought having the reigning champion on my team would make it easy to get sponsors. I just… I had no idea how thick the politics were, and with my father punching Keith, then the team going under, then me being blacklisted for a year, and the rumors that Keith spread about you, and my lead mechanic leaving the team for the season…well, nobody wants to take a chance on me right now. And if they all wait too long, then it might just be too late for Cox Racing.”

  Tears filled my eyes as I contemplated losing it all. Again. Hayden’s thumb stroked my cheek, his expression a mixture of worry and sympathy. In a way, Hayden had a lot more to lose than I did. If Cox Racing failed, I could probably get hired somewhere else, since my dad was no longer pulling strings to keep me benched. But Hayden… Keith had spread rumors that he was a street-racer and a thief. He’d made him un-hirable. Hayden was truly blacklisted, and if Cox Racing went under, he was screwed.

  “I won’t let you down,” I whispered.

  Hayden shook his head. “Don’t worry about me. Either way, I’ll be fine.” He smiled. “I’ve got you, and I don’t have a problem being your umbrella boy.”

  A tension-relieving laugh escaped me, and I gave him an appreciative kiss. But while I was grateful for Hayden turn
ing the potentially bad situation into a joke, I knew the truth. I knew Hayden’s soul, and he needed to race, same as me. If he lost that—permanently lost that—he’d never be the same person. He’d be a shell, just like I was last year. I wouldn’t let him go through that, not without putting up a damn good fight.

  * * *

  It was hard to leave work behind for the holidays, but I knew my father would be all up in my business—interfering with everything—if I didn’t show up for Christmas dinner. Even still, I was inundated with the feeling that I was forgetting something. Like worrying about having left the stove on or the door unlocked, I just felt…preoccupied…as we parked in my father’s driveway. I managed to push the feeling away by reminding myself that today wasn’t optional. I needed to be here.

  Hayden had dressed up for the occasion, and he looked like a freaking model in his gray slacks and white button-up shirt. He was even wearing a matching gray tie and really nice dress shoes. I was shocked he even owned those last two things. Hayden was typically more casual with his clothes.

  “Did you buy those just for today?” I asked, teasing him.

  “Of course,” he said, straightening his tie as we climbed out of my truck. “Wouldn’t want your dad to think I’m always a slob.”

  Rolling my eyes at him, I looked down at my outfit, a simple black dress. I kind of looked like I was dressed for a funeral. In fact, I think I did wear this to a funeral once. It wasn’t exactly screaming holiday cheer. Maybe I should have gone shopping too, gotten something with sparkles. Nikki would have; she always looked like a million bucks when she dressed up.

  “You look amazing,” Hayden said, grabbing my hand as he seemingly read my mind.

  “Almost as good as you,” I said, clenching his fingers tight. Hayden laughed as we walked to my father’s door hand-in-hand. Opening Dad’s door, I pulled us inside. “Dad? We’re here.”

  Dad came out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on a towel. “Right on time, good,” he said. His eyes drifted over Hayden’s outfit, and I swear he cracked a smile of approval. “Theresa is on her way, and Daphne is running late. Some problem with Jeff.” He frowned, like he hoped their drama didn’t follow them over here.

  Setting my bag down near the door, I asked him, “Can I help with anything?” I’d asked Dad a few days ago if I should bring anything, but he’d told me I had more important things to do than bake. I’d agreed with him, but now that I was here empty-handed, I felt bad.

  Dad shook his head. “Nope, it’s all under control. Just sit down and relax. I’m sure you haven’t had much of a chance to do that lately.” Dad indicated the living room, and my eyes nearly bugged out of my skull. He was really trying.

  “Okay…thanks.”

  Theresa and her husband got there just a few minutes after us, and we greeted her and Nick with hugs and well wishes. Daphne didn’t arrive for another half hour, and when she got there, she was fuming. Striding into the living room, she pointed a finger squarely at Hayden. “You! This is all your fault.”

  Hayden looked around himself, like he was sure someone was hiding behind him. “Me?” he asked, pointing at his chest.

  “Yes, you,” Daphne said, putting her hands on her hips.

  “Uh, Daph, what did Hayden do?” I asked. And when had he done it?

  Her fiery eyes turned to me. “He convinced Jeff to get a motorcycle. He practically started the timer on his life!”

  Jeff walked into the room behind her, rolling his eyes. “You’re overacting, Daphne.”

  Spinning on her heel, she snipped, “No, I’m not. You’ve left our baby fatherless. I hope you’re happy.”

  “You’re pregnant?” Theresa and I said at almost the same time.

  Daphne swished her hand. “Not yet, but still…if he does manage to knock me up before he croaks, then I’m clearly raising the baby alone. Because he’s on the fast-track to Organ Donor Ville.”

  Hayden raised his hand. “Can we go back to how this is my fault? I’m confused…”

  Daphne drilled into him with her eyes. “You got him all excited about motorcycles, made him think he was a racer, like you. And don’t tell me you haven’t exchanged texts about meeting up at the track, because I know you have.”

  Hayden crossed his arms over his chest. “We’ve talked about it, sure, but we haven’t actually done it.” He swished his finger around the room. “But considering the fact that he married into a racing family, I’d say I’m not entirely to blame.”

  Daphne pursed her lips but didn’t argue. Jeff put a hand on her shoulder. “It will be all right, honey. I’m very careful.”

  She jerked her head around so fast, Jeff backed up a step. “You knew I was against it, and you did it anyway. That’s the opposite of careful. You really do have a death wish.”

  Jeff sighed and looked away. The room swam with tension. And that was when my father walked in. “Daphne, Jeff, good timing, I just finished setting everything on the table.”

  “I’m not hungry,” Daphne told him. “But I will take some wine.” She immediately turned and left the room.

  “What’s her problem?” Dad asked. Then he looked sorry he’d asked.

  Sensing the mood in the air, Hayden smiled and said, “Dinner smells amazing, Jordan. And I’m starving. It’s been ages since I’ve had a good homecooked meal.”

  I knew Hayden frequently met up with Izzy for dinner, and she was an amazing cook, so what he’d just said wasn’t entirely true, but I appreciated his attempt to change the subject. Unfortunately, by doing so, he made himself a target.

  “Nikki doesn’t feed you?” my dad asked. His frown grew as his eyes danced between Hayden and me.

  Theresa cleared her throat, uncomfortable, and poor Nick looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here. Hayden opened his mouth to answer Dad, but Daphne walked back into the room, glass of wine in hand. “I can’t believe you’re still living with another woman, Hayden. And how are you okay with that, Kenzie? I’d put a stop to it if I were you.”

  I knew Daphne was just lashing out because she was mad at her husband, but I was about ten seconds away from going off on her. After everything she’d put me through, she didn’t get to question my life. Now or ever.

  Maybe sensing that World War III was about to break out, Hayden stepped forward and interceded. “Daphne, how about I teach Jeff how to ride a bike properly?” He lifted his hands and his eyebrows. “The best way to keep him safe is to give him as much information as possible, right?”

  Daphne firmed her lips, but she looked like she was considering it. “Not on the track. Not as fast as you and Kenzie go.”

  Hayden shook his head. “Of course not. We’ll find a nice, empty parking lot. And I’ll get him some leathers, the best stuff available. It’s like armor, so he’ll be almost impenetrable.”

  I knew that wasn’t true, as leathers couldn’t stop you from being squished or decapitated, but Daphne seemed swayed. “Well, maybe…” Jeff bounced a little in his excitement, and Daphne turned to face him. “I’m still angry. You should have talked to me.”

  He instantly stopped moving. “I know. I’m sorry.”

  Daphne sighed, but the tension in the air melted away. Looking back at Hayden, she said, “Thank you. And I’m sorry I was snarky about you living with another girl. I’m sure it’s fine. I mean, she is pregnant after all. It’s not like you’re going to dump Kenzie for an instant family…right?”

  Anger zipped up my spine again. Jesus, Daphne. I opened my mouth, but Hayden held his hand up, subtly asking me to let him handle it. Addressing the room, he said, “Kenzie is my world. I could be living in the Playboy mansion with three dozen loose women and it wouldn’t matter. She has my heart…and my body,” he added with a smirk.

  I wanted to drop my head into my hands, but oddly, Daphne seemed impressed by his declaration. “Well, okay then.”

  “Okay then?” I asked. “You’re not going to make a stink about this anymore?”

  She shrugged. “Na
h. If he would turn down whores for you, then I feel pretty confident he’ll turn down your best friend.”

  I had to close my eyes. There were so many things wrong with that statement. I heard someone snigger, then my dad grumbled, “For the love of God, can we go eat?”

  Everyone seemed to agree, because we all moved into the dining room at the same time. When I got there, I was…confused. All of my favorite foods were on display, and most of them weren’t traditional Christmas food—my mom’s world-famous lasagna, bacon-wrapped scallops, cinnamon rolls, gummy bears, and a tofu stir-fry. Nobody but me liked tofu. “What is all this?” I asked, looking around the room.

  Daphne and Theresa smiled, while Dad looked sheepish. “Well, after…what happened…last Christmas, when we…”

  “When you screwed me over?” I supplied.

  Dad cringed but nodded. “We just wanted to make sure we made up for it this year.”

  My eyes watered as I looked around the room. “Thank you. Last year, without you guys…really sucked.”

  And just like that, I felt something heal between my family and me…even between Daphne and me. And it felt wonderful.

  * * *

  After dinner, Hayden and I said our goodbyes, then made our way to our second stop for the night—Izzy’s house for drinks and dessert. Not that I could eat any more food. Or could handle any more sweets. I’d massively overindulged on gummy bears. So much for getting back on track. Damn my thoughtful, overcompensating family.

  Antonia greeted us at the door when we got there. She was dressed up, too, in a bright red dress with white fluff at the neckline and sleeves. Her hair was coming in nicely now, and she had it pulled back with a red hairband that matched her dress. She was the epitome of Christmas.